Paranormal Investigator and A Few of My Beliefs

I attended a lecture on a particular paranormal subject, at a library, almost a month ago.  That tells you about how much time, I've had, lately, to actually blog about something that interests me.  Most of the time, I have to deal with things in my life I'd rather not have to deal with- but that's reality for ya.  I pepper my reality with brief times of relief on Fartbook... er... Facebook, mostly, because commenting or posting on Facebook takes less time than doing a blog post.  To each his or her own.  :)

The lecture I went to was about ghost hunting and the woman giving the lecture belonged to an organization that has been around for a number of years and they have done a lot of investigations.  She seemed to know what she was talking about.  A large group of ordinary people had showed for the lecture and Q & A.

The lecture got me thinking about a lot of things that I experienced in my past.

I believe in ghosts and things that fall under the paranormal heading for a number of reasons.  I've talked about those reasons on this blog in the past but to those who are relatively new to this blog that I've been doing since 2007, my reasons, in no particular order are:

1- I've lived in a house that was haunted.  The entire family, our friends and even people we didn't know that well, saw and heard many unexplained incidents such as: chairs moving by themselves, laughter coming from our attic when no one was up there, the lights and TV going off and on, whispers of your name next to your ear while attempting to sleep, blood running down the walls, something pulling sheets off of a bed while you are attempting to sleep, black, smoke-like formations rushing past doorways, dolls' heads moving completely around by themselves, running footsteps being heard, coming up from the basement stairs up to the door leading to the hallway (when no one was there) and so on.

Some of this shit, that went on, I think I've purposefully forgotten, to avoid needless trauma.

If you've read this far without thinking me insane, wanting to mock me and everyone else who had to go through the shit we went through or wanting to debate me or point out how one or more things can easily be scientifically explained- then congratulations are in order for you.  Kudos!  It means you likely have an open mind.  Otherwise, if you're here to debate me or do any of the other things I mentioned above, feel free to move on to the next blog about how someone's kid and their latest "hysterical" antic that everyone is dying to know about.  Or something equally mundane.  I'm not interested and will not respond, as you would probably like, to anything contrary that you have to say.  I've heard it before and wasn't impressed.  We, meaning the dozens of us who went through the hell of living there or visiting there, know what we went through and tried "scientifically" explaining away everything that happened.  Didn't work.  End of story.

I might add... and I will...

The only thing more irritating and frustrating to me than an overzealous disbeliever in anything they can't see or explain is an overzealous Christian trying to push their faith down your throat.  Giving someone the benefit of a doubt is not the same as being gullible.  Either person who displays this type of behavior is showing their arrogance and close mindedness.  It's also a sign of someone who NEEDS to feed their ego to tear down one's ideas or beliefs with whatever well written malarkey that they can come up with.  Just because it is well written or that person has the last word- it does not make them right.   

2- My wife has spoken to the spirit of her deceased grandfather one night, while I was in bed and he gave her details about me that he couldn't have known, because he died three decades before I was even born.  I've had several relatives see and talk to dead relatives, whether they were on their deathbeds in homes or hospitals or when they were just standing around, not doing anything in particular.  Feelings of peace would usually accompany them while these incidents would happen.

3- I've also had some flashes or images come into my mind, while awake, of things that have happened.  Most of those things (images) were of trivial matters.  When these images would come into my mind, I would feel like I should remember them.  I don't know why that feeling would come over me but it did.  A month or two later and the image of the incident in my mind actually became a reality.

The one "picture" that I got in my head was of something that I didn't even know about or what it was and had never seen a picture of it before- until I was older, in school.  It came to me when I was around four years old.  It was a picture of a nuclear bomb going off.  Bright mushroom cloud, everything being caught on fire, vaporized and so on.  The whole bit.  It was happening, I figured out later in life, in the same direction where a major city, about thirty miles away from where I live now, is located.  I'm 48 years old and it is an image in my mind as horrifying and clear as it was when I was four years old.

4- I used to read whole decks of cards.  Didn't matter which deck or where it came.  They weren't in any order. I didn't cheat by marking any sides or had cards that were bent.  I'd simply look at each face down card, say what it was, suit and number, turn it over and it would be what it said I knew it was going to be.  Then I'd re-shuffle the cards again, predict the cards, again, correctly and then, one day, I thought to myself, This is too weird and I stopped doing it, altogether.

5- There is another thing I've been involved in, paranormally speaking, but I'm not mentioning it because it would take too long to explain and I'm afraid I'd get a lot of backlash in comments that I'd rather not read because, well, I've heard it all before and sadly, most people are predictable.  :)  I'm not saying everyone is, but, if you've been around as long as I have, you already know the truth.  If you'd really and genuinely like to know what #5 is about, I'll tell you.

These days, I don't have any predictive imagery in my mind.  Nor do I attempt to predict cards or attempt transcendental meditation.  That last thing I just mentioned resulted in something that freaked me out a bit, not in a bad way, but I'm not going to go into it, either.

The paranormal investigator (one of many ghost hunters, so to speak,) brought all of her equipment, including dowsing rods, an EVP recorder, an EMF meter and a laptop computer showing orbs (spirits) she and others had videotaped during their investigations.  Later, she shared information about a tour through a place where people, in a nearby city, had reported experiencing spirits one way or another.  She didn't talk about the future tour much, in case you're wondering if she was there to make money off the local town folk.  She was there to demonstrate how the instruments worked, how her own personal experience as a child got her interested in the paranormal and answering any questions that people had about ghosts.

Many orbs ( or spirits)

She talked quite a bit about how her personal experience with spirits and how it told about and shown on TV, through reenactments.  The paranormal investigator was interviewed about the full apparition she saw of a little girl named Nora, sitting on the floor in a room, upstairs at her childhood home.

The woman also was there to investigate someone who had died at the library she was speaking at.  According to the dowsing rods and the EMF meter, something was definitely there and it was communicating what had happened when she died.  For one thing, she used to work in the same old building a long time ago and she was pregnant at the time.  Ever since my sister and her coworkers had been working at the library, they had heard talking, from out of nowhere and had seen things move (on their own?) while being employed at the library.  It wasn't a malicious spirit, obviously.  It just wanted to be acknowledged.

On her laptop computer, the investigator showed orbs, like I said and turned up the volume of strange, yet clear, disembodied voices.

There was a teenage girl, who worked at the library, who had an experience on a ghost hunting tour, a few months back, who was not associated with the investigator.  She told us about how she thought a spirit from the place she toured had come back home with her.  She said she could feel "him" touch her arms, at times, and how it felt cold or like being brushed by spider webs.  This spirit, she said, had also displayed non-malicious behavior toward her but the investigator advised her that she should explain to the spirit that he was dead and should move on to the other side.  Her family, who had also gone on the same tour, also heard voices "from out of nowhere" and felt things.

The other side, what happens after death, call it Heaven or what you will, is also something I happen to believe in for a great many number of personal reasons, NOT religious reasons.

The paranormal investigator seemed pretty genuine to me.  I had an open mind about it because of things I and others close to me have witnessed and experienced.  Btw, I'm quite open to any of your own experiences, concerning the paranormal in the comment section, or if you'd like, through email or Fartbook... er.. I mean Facebook.

Supposedly, I'm supposed to get a nice pair of dowsing rods from the link I already provided, as a gift, from my sister, for my birthday, October 3rd.  I'm not saying I completely believe in dowsing rods but they may be of some personal good to me.  I'm not saying anything beyond that.

Take care, everyone! 

Toadie in "Haunted Bordello" (Final Chapter)

If you haven't read the first two installments of this enchanting tale, click here for Part One and here for Part Two.

The spirit of "Bent Joe" Paulson stepped menacingly toward Toadie, Val and the ghost, Annie, interrupting their lovemaking.

Wide-eyed, Toadie stuttered until he could finally say, "Toadie may be frightened to the point of shitting himself silly right now... but Toadie can't help to wonder... Why do they call you "Bent Joe?"

Annie warned, "Don't rile up his tail feathers, Mr. Toadie!"

The cowboy ghost dropped his pants and pointed to his crooked ghostly penis.

"Bent Joe" growled, "This is why, you mush-headed, numb-nutted dimwit! You satisfied now?"

Toadie replied, "Toadie thinks you have a bad case of acute dicklopsidedness."

Snarling, the ghost got up into Toadie's face and said, "You sayin' I have a cute dick?"

The sound of a car pulling up, down below, cut through the dead silence of the night.

"Bent Joe" Paulson pulled up his pants, cocked his head with a curious expression on his face and said, "I sense one of my kinfolk is here."

What the cowboy ghost was sensing was the sudden arrival of his great-great grandson, Henry Paulson. Paulson had, coincidentally, turned into the old west town as a means of escape.

Henry Paulson had made a lot of people angry with his latest televised interview because of his statements concerning why he thought people of the Occupy Movement were so angry. He was completely off the mark with his remarks. An Occupy group had caught sight of Paulson, outside the studio after his interview and wanted to share their opinions with him.

Instead of being bothered further with any more questions or accusations, Paulson had waved them off before saying, "Go get a job instead of complaining. It's your fault that you're poor."

With that said, the group ran towards him, shaking their fists and shouting obscenities. The former CEO of Goldman Sachs got into his limousine, told his driver to start the car and leave the city, immediately.

Wanting to avoid the peasants and miscreants of the area, altogether, Paulson instructed his chauffeur to take him on a few quiet desert roads for a bit of peace and untroubled thinking. While the chauffer drove Paulson on a few mostly desolate roads, the wealthy man poured himself glass after glass of expensive cognac until finally, they arrived at a ghost town.

Looking out the window, the old man nervously searched the area around them. He thought he saw a pair of glowing eyes peering over the saloon doors of an old bordello. Within a few seconds, they disappeared.

Then the limo's engine began sputtering.

"What's wrong with the car?" asked Paulson.

The driver shrugged and said, "I don't know, sir. It was given a tune up not long ago."

That's when the limousine stopped running, completely. The driver and Paulson immediately pulled out their cell phones. Neither of them were working. Suddenly, all the lights and the electronics in the car went out. They were sitting in near darkness with only the moonlight shining dimly around them.

Paulson's chauffeur, Riley, said, "Sir, I'm going to have a look around and see if I can find a phone or something we can use."

Riley got out of the car. Not wanting to be left alone, Paulson opened the car door and joined his driver. "Hold on," said the old man, "Another pair of eyes may help."

After finding out the flashlights in the limousine didn't work, Riley and Paulson started walking. The crunch of their footfalls and their breathing were the only sounds that they heard. And then a voice came from the nearby saloon.

"What are you looking for?"

At first, Paulson thought he might be imagining the voice- until he saw that it was obvious that Riley had heard it, as well.

Riley, unafraid, walked up to the doors of the saloon asked, "Who's in here?"

Receiving no answers, Riley pushed open the swinging doors of the saloon. The chauffeur walked inside. Paulson stayed close behind him. They were at the bar when a fiery orb appeared from nowhere. The orb quickly transformed into a recognizable human form- at least, to Paulson, it was recognizable.

The ghost said, "The word is, is that you've been an ornery, inconsiderate sonabitch, my great-great grandson."

Paulson placed his hand on his head. He was feeling faint. Perspiration, with traces of blood, ran down his face and neck until it soaked into the collar of his once neatly pressed dress shirt.

After gathering the strength and courage to speak, Paulson said, "You're my great-great grandfather. How can this be?"

Before the ghost could reply to his kinfolk's inquiry, Toadie and Valerie came down the steps. Annie floated down and met them. All eyes were fixated on "Bent Joe" until Valerie and her seemingly dim-witted friend, Toadie, recognized the old man in the business suit.

Toadie laughed and felt a thunderous cloud of methane pop out of his anus. The uncomfortable silence had been shattered by the awkward fart and caused everyone to turn toward Toadie. Everyone, including "Bent Joe".

Toadie pointed at Paulson and stated, "Toadie agrees with "Bent Joe". You are a sonafabitch."

Paulson was taken aback by the slightly retarded man and his words.

Toadie continued, "Don't act confused or startled, you fucking turd! You, Ben Bernanke, Alan Greenspan and the rest of the major guilty players in the great debacle that is our current Great Recession, allowed the housing bubble to expand to the point of exploding in everyone's faces. And instead of bailing out homeowners, they bailed out greedy bankers, causing events to be triggered that very quickly caused our economy to go into a horrible downward spiral. Because of people like you, who had a major part in keeping up the deregulation of the financial industry, we are experiencing the residual effects of not only your greed but your inconsideration of the people in this country. Meanwhile, you stay wealthy, get wealthier, manipulate the media, the government and generally tell the vast majority of the public to go fuck themselves and make out like they are the ones who are the criminals. All you care about is money, power and manipulation. The majority of people in this country, who are the neglected... who are protesting, meanwhile, are arrested... or worse."

"Bent Joe" pushed at Paulson's chest, crying out, "You're nothin' but a piece of snobby, arrogant, thievin' shit!"

Henry Paulson stumbled back and stuck his foot into an old spittoon. Panicking, Paulson felt the spittoon latch onto his foot, pressing the leather of his shoe against flesh and bone. Unbeknownst to the living folks inside the saloon, the spittoon was possessed by the spirit of Toadie's great-great grandfather, Gregory McKelly.

The spittoon laughed when Paulson fell on his ass. A sharp pain followed, causing the old man to scream in agony. It felt like something had abruptly fractured or broke near his ass. Riley pulled the spittoon off of his employer's foot and tossed it to the side. A face appeared on the spittoon as it shook and rattled across the room. The spittoon emitted an eerie bale of laughter as it skittered and rolled back and forth across the old wooden floor.

Riley freaked out and ran out of the saloon, leaving the old man to fend for himself. Paulson crawled out the door like an injured cockroach. His chauffeur got into the car and tried starting the car. Fortunately, it started. Riley looked over at Henry Paulson, saluted him and promptly left the haunted ghost town, spinning his wheels and leaving his employer in a cloud of dust and exhaust fumes.

"Wait for me!" commanded the old man, as he writhed in pain, finally making it out of the saloon.

Toadie, Val and Annie laughed at the old man, turned their backs and headed upstairs for a sprightly human/ghost orgy. As far as they were concerned, the show was over and there was nothing more to say. They opened the door to the room upstairs and very quickly got busy.

The spirit of Paulson's great-great grandfather remained for a few moments, staring at Paulson's quivering form and then shook his head before stating, "You only have yourself to blame, son."

And then he vanished, entirely.

The next day, Toadie and Valerie thanked Annie for the great time. When they left the saloon, the engaged couple stepped over Paulson, who was still moaning and continued to walk out of the old western town, hoping that someone would eventually come down the highway and offer them a ride. Luckily, they were found and taken back to a town where they could rent a car and continue their travels westward.

And this concludes our story, folks. Have a dandy weekend!

For more Tales of the Toadie, click on any or all of these fine links:

Toadie in "Happy Anniversary"

Toadie in "Road Rage Spectacular"

Toadie in "First Love"

Toadie in "The Christmas Trip" (Part 1)

Toadie in "The Christmas Trip" (Part 2)

Toadie in "Haunted Bordello" (Part 1)

Sure, I'm a little late with this Halloweenish type post entry... but do I care? Fuck no! My advice is to sit back, read this fine wholesome tale of insanity and mayhem and hold tight.

But before you jump in with both feet, you may want to check out this link and this link to bring you up to speed with this post, Toadie's latest adventure.

Toadie, a semi-retarded man and his girlfriend, Valerie, decided to move in together when they got back to Chicago after their "Christmas Trip" adventure. No longer was the 34 year old man under the care of his friends, Maggie and Rufus, though they did go to Valerie's apartment to see how he was doing every so often. They were, in fact, happily surprised to find that their younger cousin and somewhat dim-witted friend were moving along in their relationship to the point of being engaged to be married.

Then one morning...

Shaking the sleeping brunette from her sleep, Toadie leaned in close to his girlfriend's face and excitedly exclaimed, "Toadie wants to go on another road trip!"

Valerie, startled, opened her eyes and punched Toadie in the face, causing him to flip over the side of the bed and onto the floor. Toadie quickly got to his feet and much like an over-stimulated pet in dire craving for attention, he got back onto the bed.

Toadie said, "Toadie knows what Valerie wants for breakfast this morning."

Slightly annoyed but still curious, Valerie opened her eyes again and saw Toadie's impressive penis staring her in the face. Even though they had been fucking, quite frequently, since coming back home, she still couldn't believe how ginormous Toadie's dick was when was he hard. The only part of Toadie's anatomy that could equal the impressiveness of his schlong was his lengthy tongue; which gave Valerie many pleasurable, memorable experiences.

Valerie reached out and pulled Toadie's wang closer to her mouth. Just before taking it in, she looked at her lover's face and asked, "You're giving me the big sausage, again?" Toadie smiled and then said, "Only the best for my loving, gentle petunia ."

After Toadie and Valerie did the ol' "bump n' grind", the couple discussed taking another road trip. Toadie's normally successful methods of persuasion often left Valerie satisfied and bug-eyed.

A week later, the couple drove out onto the highway and set a course for Arizona. Along the way, they stopped at a diner for a quick lunch before heading back out onto the road. During the course of their lunch, Toadie looked up from his plate of food and watched what was happening on a television in the back corner wall. Valerie peered up from her burger to see Henry Paulson, in an interview, berating a reporter for bringing unwelcome facts to viewers and making him appear to be an unsympathetic bastard.

The former US Treasury Secretary and CEO of Goldman Sachs pointed toward the reporter and said, "The more accurate reason behind the Occupy Wall Street protest is that the majority of the poor and unemployed in this country are envious of the upper class. They want what the wealthier citizenry in this nation have- but since they don't feel they should put the effort forth to attain a better life for themselves, they will, instead, attend these radical protests in the hopes of swaying government decisions."

The reporter inquired, "So you don't feel that one possible reason behind the "Occupy" protests could be that the people are angry that the government is being influenced and manipulated by banks, corporations and the powerful one percent in America?"

Henry Paulson smirked for a second and then whispered, "The bottom feeders are just joining in the fray of this desperate act of futility instead of attempting to find employment."

The reporter asked, "What was that?"

Paulson said, loud enough to be heard, "I believe there are certain members of society who feel disenfranchised because of the current state of our economy."

Toadie leaned far to one side and butt burped a long, aromatic fart that wafted in the air and was inhaled by several elderly people in a nearby booth. The geriatrics suddenly clutched their throats and chests. George, an old gentleman sitting on the outside half of the booth, mumbled a short prayer before exclaiming, "Something is amiss!"

At that, George's head plopped down in a bowl of oatmeal. Important Information: The oatmeal was flavored with cinnamon powder and tiny, organically grown chunks of naturally sweet Granny Smith apples.

The old man in the oatmeal bowl laboriously exhaled, which produced from his mouth a bubble made of a combination of warm oats and two percent milk (and let's not forget those delicious apples!).

When Valerie and Toadie paid their bill, they returned to the car and drove into the state of Arizona. Their destination was the Grand Canyon. But after an hour of driving they became lost and confused. The joint they began smoking upon passing the state line might have had something to do with it. Who knows? I mean, it's not like I know the story or something.

Eventually, Val and Toadie completely went off the beaten track and wound up in a ghost town. Now, if you had been paying attention to the more northern portion of this blog post, you will have noticed a blog post title- which would, of course, given you a clue as to where this most amazing story was leading.

Ahem... and stuff.

Toadie and Val slowly drove into the long abandoned town. You could almost hear the eerie music in the background, but not quite, because Val had a radio station on that was playing Alternative music set at high volume. Toadie cocked his head and saw a few doors to old wooden shops and a saloon slam open and shut. He thought this odd because the air was still.

As they stopped in the middle of the small old western town in order to back up and turn around, the car made a chugging noise and then shook a little. Valerie looked down at her dashboard. The car had run out of gas. They sat there for a few moments, quiet in thought. The sun gradually made it's decent behind some far away mountains in the desert. Saguaro cacti covered most of the area they were in.

Toadie got out of the car and convinced himself that it was a good idea to go into one of the vacant buildings to search for anything that could help them. Valerie went into what was once a saloon and bordello. In the days of the Old West, this bordello had employed a dozen or so prostitutes. A woman by the name of Annie was the Madam of the place. She was a beautiful blonde haired, good-natured woman who had sucked many a cowboy off back in the day. It was rumored she had fallen in love with a cowboy named Joe.

When Toadie went past a wall in the saloon, he shook his head, curious and surprised at who he thought he saw in an old picture hanging on the wall. He took his key light out of his pocket, shined it toward the picture and upon closer inspection, he remembered seeing the people in the old photograph.

Stayed tuned for part two of this enchanting tale.

Hocus Pocus and Presto Change-o.  Here's the link for Part 2 of this stimulating, educational yarn.  :) 

Earth Day: We Must Realize It's Our Only Home

There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth. We are all crew. ~Marshall McLuhan, 1964

There is hope if people will begin to awaken that spiritual part of themselves, that heartfelt knowledge that we are caretakers of this planet.

-Brooke Medicine Eagle

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,

For strip-mined mountain’s majesty above the asphalt plain.

America, America, man sheds his waste on thee,

And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.

-George Carlin

Man must feel the earth to know himself and recognize his values.... God made life simple. It is man who complicates it. ~Charles A. Lindbergh, Reader's Digest, July 1972

I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority. ~Elwyn Brooks White, Essays of E.B. White, 1977

A living planet is a much more complex metaphor for deity than just a bigger father with a bigger fist. If an omniscient, all-powerful Dad ignores your prayers, it's taken personally. Hear only silence long enough, and you start wondering about his power. His fairness. His very existence. But if a world mother doesn't reply, Her excuse is simple. She never claimed conceited omnipotence. She has countless others clinging to her apron strings, including myriad species unable to speak for themselves. To Her elder offspring She says - go raid the fridge. Go play outside. Go get a job. Or, better yet, lend me a hand. I have no time for idle whining. ~David Brin

I think the environment should be put in the category of our national security. Defense of our resources is just as important as defense abroad. Otherwise, what is there to defend?

-Robert Redford

Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect. ~Chief Seattle, 1855

After a visit to the beach, it's hard to believe that we live in a material world. ~Pam Shaw

Humanity is on the march, earth itself is left behind. ~David Ehrenfeld, The Arrogance of Humanism, 1978

Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money. ~Cree Indian Proverb

We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if mankind is to survive.

-Albert Einstein

Characters We Encounter On The Internet and Beyond

When I say the word "characters" in the post title here, I'm thinking of it in two different perspectives. The first being that the character is a living, breathing person you will meet on the internet or in real life. The second perspective is much deeper in that the character is something, a persona, if you will, someone portrays and maybe even pretends to be on the internet and in real life.

Of course, there are those whose character, or mask that the character wears that comes pretty close to who they really are inside. I personally don't believe everyone is able to mirror exactly who they are inside with what they show on the outside. No one can be completely transparent and, in truth, I believe each person will act at least a tiny bit differently from who they are or how they feel according to where or who they are with at the time- whether it's on the internet or in real life. Even sweet and adorable me is like this. It's just human nature. No harsh judgments are to be presumed or assumed here, necessarily.

Still with me so far? Hahaha. Yes, this will be one of my more serious posts- sort of. Don't run away! Be brave, soldier! You've got the guts and the stamina... or something. :)

I'm going to describe some of the following characters that we encounter, time to time, on the internet and in real life. Some rub us the wrong way. Some inspire us and make us happy. And then others, well, you get the picture... perhaps. :) While describing these characters, you could also interpret these "characters" as not really characters, really, but qualities that people have or don't have. It's all in how you interpret it... all a matter of perception.

Ready for the ride? Buckle up. In no particular order, I present to you...

Grammar and Punctuation Nazi

This irritating piece of shit will delight in showing you the errors of your grammatical ways to instill in themselves a sense of self-importance. You normally encounter these assholes on the internet in the forums, social networking sites, blogs and more. As long as everyone can understand each other, I encourage the Grammar and Punctuation Nazis to go fuck themselves with their over-inflated, dildo-shaped egos so far up their colons, that they cause ruptures, internal bleeding and painfully hemorrhage to death while gloating about where the semi-colon should be placed.

Supporters

These characters of which I'm talking about are the type of folks that will encourage you to do something positive in your life, whether it's in your attitude toward a problem or a course in life you may wish to give some thought toward. They're also beneficial in consoling you with words and/or actions in order to make you feel better during difficult times. These kind folks are truly the precious gems and great finds amongst the piles of living, breathing shits that surround us in real life and on the internet. Kudos to the Supporters!

Missing The Point Prick

This person or character will purposefully or not purposefully miss the point you are trying to make in a blog post or in a real life discussion. He or she will usually pick one teeny bit or particle of something you've said that really didn't have that much to do with the point you were trying to make, overall, and then proceed to create an entire debate, diatribe or whatever over that one insignificant word or phrase. The "Missing The Point Prick" is closely related, in many aspects, to Devil's Advocate, who I will get to in a few seconds.

Passionate, Direct and Honest People

As I grow older in life, I've noticed there are less and less of these types existing these days. Passion has been replaced by true or false statistics or what is fed to us by corporations, governments, some college courses, books or people we sometimes blindly follow without question. Being direct and honest is covered with outright lies, heavy blankets of sometimes deceptive subtlety and the continuous fear that we shouldn't make waves because it will make certain supervisors, family members, friends, characters you interact with on the internet and more either uncomfortable or angry. I applaud those who are brave enough and passionate enough to be direct and say the truth about things how they really are. Life is too short for bullshit and we already have a surplus in that. Kudos to the PD and H people out there!

Trolls, Spammers and Link Droppers

Kill them all.

Positive Informers

These good folks will actually supply people with information and/or points of view that either benefits others or entertains them in some way. Humor bloggers, history bloggers and a whole variety of bloggers fit into this category- not that I'm trying to fit anyone into a particular category. There are some folks, like me, who are able to write about anything. Blessed are the versatile writers- for they know no limits to their capabilities and will not be pushed around by those who say you must, for the sake of gaining followers or hits, stick with one genre or another! Hip Fucking Hip Hip Hooray! Excuse me while I shrug off my over-inflated ego and high-in-the-sky soapbox. Heh heh. God, I'm such a delightful sarcastic bastard! Or so I believe.

Perceptions... perceptions.

Of course, you can find Positive Informers in real life, too. Moving onward...

Devil's Advocate

One who continuously argues against a cause, position or point of view of another human being on every subject, not as a committed opponent but simply for the sake of argument and/or to feed their own ego. In other words, that's how they get their twisted jollies. Even if they believe they may be wrong, deep down inside, they will try to make you feel that you are wrong or worse yet, somehow inferior. Sick.

Studying this person for a time, you will eventually come to the conclusion that this motherfucker has some form of unchecked mental illness churning about in their diseased minds. Insecurity, depression and other factors within these people may instigate or spur on this type of behavior that causes most normal, rational people to want to stay the hell away from them. Often, the Devil's Advocate will be unable to keep friends, spouses and others they interact with around for very long until the asshole (the Devil's Advocate) is bludgeoned to the point of making them a disgusting paste on the wall or ground. Do I advocate the use of violence against these annoying cretins of society? You betcha! No therapy for you, fuckwad!

Which brings us to...

Truly Open Minded People

Good golly, but I love truly open minded people. They're able to see many different points of views and angles on as many controversial subjects. They normally don't take themselves so seriously to the point where they believe themselves to be 100 percent correct all the time. All hail the open minded- for they are the truth seekers of this world! They don't give a shit about being contrary or right but, instead, search for meaning and knowledge from other individuals and in all things.

Uptights

Uptights display tense, repressed nervousness, pettiness, anal retentative behavior, irritability, anger and/or the inability to withstand even the slightest of what they consider to be foul language or naughty words or the images of sex organs of the natural human anatomy. For example: They may announce, while visiting an art museum, " Oh my! I do declare! I believe I'm going to faint at the sight of this statue's stone penis or this painting's suggestive phallic symbol." Or some such nonsense.

I consider them weak and attempt to avoid them whenever possible. If you barricade me in a locked windowless room with an Uptight for any longer than a day, I will go crazy and twist their head right off their freakin' neck even as they complain that I said the word, damn, only an hour ago.

Often, Uptights are unable to give expression to one's feelings or personality. This is most noticeable in their unwillingness or incapability to laugh at a crude joke. Or what they think is a crude joke. They also tend to stubbornly adhere to rules that have been laid down to them or rules that they, themselves, have given themselves to instill an odd sense of complete control. Many times, they will inflict these rules of behavior upon those around them- Coworkers, friends, family, individuals on the internet and so on. Uptights may see themselves as the Masters of Organized Living while others may see them as Ultimate Pains in The Asses.

So there you have it. These are just a handful of the characters that we meet on the internet and in our real daily lives. Who knows? You may act like any one or a combination of these characters in a given situation or you may live like this all the time. Personally, I believe a little introspection is good for the spirit and the mind for continuous growth and discovery. It is something of value and worth considering.