An Interview With Myself (Part Two)

Yes, this is the long awaited, highly anticipated sequel masterpiece widely known as PART TWO of INTERVIEW WITH MYSELF.  Note, I did not just say I was playing with myself.  I know how you could be confused by that.  Especially if you were retarded. Besides, if I were doing that, I would not be able to type because it takes a big man like yours truly in order to fully pleasure himself with TWO BIG HANDS.  My own, of course.  Not the three hundred pound guy in the apartment below me.  His forearms looks like he has muscled up by doing a lot of "wanking the weenie" all day and all night.  No wonder I hear so much grunting and coughing below me.  I think the guy smokes a couple cigs after he's done sapping his milk duds, and plays Lynryd Skynrd's "Freebird" when he finishes.

After one particular session, I thought I heard him say "Ta-Da!"

Personally, I've never been able to tolerate Lynryd Slynrd that much, no matter how much I stroke the skin flute.

Ah, well.

Here's the second part of the interview with myself.  Enjoy!

Inquisitor Kelly: Why did you pick the name "Psycho Carnival" for the name of your blog?

Honest Kelly: It seemed like the most appropriate name.  Really, Psycho Carnival started out as an underground newspaper.  Underground newspapers were little newspapers or pamphlets that were regarded as subversive, anti-establishment type reading, in some circles.  Some of these were artsy fartsy and/or loaded with hand drawn cartoons. Some had radical views to a majority of people.  Some just wanted to voice an honest opinion on today's society.  That's were I come in.

Here are some copies of the old Psycho Carnival.  Sold 'em for 2 bucks a pop at a few bookstores. I didn't create them from scratch for profit- but to get my own ideas out there- across the country.  Which I did.  It was fun and I felt fulfilled.

Enlarge the image to see all the nooks, crannies and various goodness.  Appreciate the awesome handmade artwork-  completely computer-free design, as your own personal deity intended it to be.. or something.

Btw, I started my paper, Psycho Carnival, long before there was a band by the same name.  But I didn't have the zine, as they were often called, copyrighted and frankly, I didn't care that they came up with the same name- whether it came from me or their own minds.  Whatever. 

Underground newspapers got their start in the 60's and 70's but were still semi-popular in the 80's and 90's. 

I started writing, drawing and creating (stapling and pasting) my own underground newspaper (Psycho Carnival) in May 1996, using paper, pen, pencil and a word processor, several years before personal computers became widely popular.  Computers were just starting to become a household item when I started my paper- but since I wasn't trendy, rich and didn't want my underground newspaper all fancy shmancy like those other candy-ass papers were, like some were in the 90's, I did my own thing, like I always have done.

This blog is an extension of that underground newspaper.  I started the blog, late in the year of 2007. 

On the back of each issue of old Psycho Carnival newspaper or zines, as they were called, which I continued to author for three years, would be a poem I wrote.  It was one of many I have written in my lifetime.  Check it out below my joyful artwork!

I drew this and included it in a special edition of my underground newspaper.  It is a scene of my often appearing character, Jeepo the Clown, entertaining a guest.  Please enlarge to completely enjoy the gentle nuances of my delicate, merry artwork.  

Enlarge, in case your peepers have trouble reading the delightful poem.  The smoking monkey, by the way, is symbolic of humankind's follies and bad habits.

Inquisitor Kelly: Do you write other stories, besides what some would call "naughty" tales?

Honest Kelly: Yeah, I do write in other genres but for some odd reason, people get hung up on or notice the stories of sexual situations more.  I have written mega-loads (don't get too excited when I say that) of stories that are science fiction, drama, humor and so much more.  I guess it's more of that sexual repression type stuff that only goes on in the minds, for the most part, of the American public.  In Europe,  they don't have much of a problem with this.

I gotta add that I think we're a country full of hypocrites that have their concerns and priorities misplaced.  Violence is considered okay and often celebrated by our culture.  Going to war on a country whose people we don't know or care enough to understand is as accepted as easily as Mom's apple pie and baseball here.  But sex elicits raised eyebrows, angry rants, silence and shame, instead.  How backwards is that?  Violence is a flag we proudly fly.  I consider the act of violence a hell of a lot more disgusting than the act of making love to someone.  Blowing someone you don't know or understand to bits, either up close and personal or by a military drone- now that is SICK. 

To me and quite a few people, the sex act is an act that is funny, itself, really... so I often add humor along with it.  The thought of two or three or a mob of people grunting and groaning and putting themselves in all sorts of positions to get their rocks off paints a silly scenario in my mind.  Don't get me wrong!  Sex can be romantic- but often times, it includes these animal type scenarios that emulate monkey hi-jinx, at times.

For the record, the "Toadie" series of stories, I've written for this blog in the past, aren't something I came up with because I enjoy making fun of mentally challenged people.  If people were to actually closely read those stories, they would note that the character, Toadie, who seems mentally challenged, isn't really that way and that he may be putting on an act, considering what he will say later on in an episode that reveals his true self.  Meanwhile, the people around him are easily duped.  That can come in quite handy for him.

Inquisitor Kelly: What would it take to get people in this world on the right track and not continuing it's seemingly downward spiral?

Honest Kelly: Understanding between people who might seem different than us until we get to know them.  Putting back bank regulations.  Stop communicating so much with electronic hand held devices (cell phones, IPads, IFux or whatever throwaway gadget they're called).  It's so sad that we are a "throwaway" society on pretty much anything that's bought.  Whenever a new "upgraded device" comes out, people will cheerfully buy it instead of, oh, I don't know, wasting it on someone who is hungry or homeless or some other positive purpose.

 Forget about distractions like reality shows and silly tabloids.  Cease being a conformist.  Stand up and take responsibility for your actions and for cryin' out loud, stop denying what's happening in the world.  Fairy tales are for children.  In fact, I think we should start preparing kids, when they are young with how things are so they don't get blasted in the face with reality when they get older.  Speak out against what is obviously wrong instead of waiting for someone else to do it.  Stop polluting this world as if we have some other planet to land on, inhabit and slowly or quickly destroy.  Opening one's mind.  Those are just a few things off the top of my head.  Thanks for asking.  That was, like, totally unexpected of you. 

    

Inquisitor Kelly: Describe yourself!

Honest Kelly: I think I'm a man that has many contradictory traits to his personality.  I don't think I'm bi-polar, by any means.  But I have strong opinions and strong passions for certain things that seem to contradict myself.  I'm not boasting when I say I'm complex, but it's the truth.  I'm still surprised by people who have known me since childhood.  One of the worst things you can do to me, personally, is make assumptions.  People have done that to me all of my life for idiotic reasons and, unfortunately, I do have to address some assumptions (lies)  and set the truth straight out there.  If I don't, it has led to more trouble than I care to talk about. 

Personally, I don't give a rat's ass, though. 

In all honesty, I think I lost a part of myself when my mother passed away.  I was a shadow of my former self for a very long time.  Still am, but not as much.  I attended therapy and was prescribed anti-anxiety and anti-depression pills that work for me now.  It took awhile to find the right ones that were a "good fit" for me.  It takes awhile for some people to find the suitable pills because they'll sometime have drastic side effects with these pills.  Anyway, I could confide in Mom with everything.  She would listen, non judgmentally and answer a question- only if I asked.  She loved me, unconditionally.  She passed away 7 years ago.  I miss her love, twisted humor and our talks about ANYTHING under the moon and the stars.  My Aunt Kay, sister and wife can sometimes fill in the deep void in my life but they, honestly, can't come as close as that.

With this comes the responsibility I share with my sister of taking care of Dad, who has vascular dementia and other maladies too long to list.  Even though he's in an assisted living place, he still has to be taken to doctor appointments and he still wants to be taken out to eat.  And he's still angry, verbally abusive, threatening and you can never just visit him without him wanting you to take him somewhere.  I recently put 200 miles on my odometer as we got lost three different times during the day.  He refused to be taken anywhere else but this one particular Cracker Barrel restaurant.  This is just a small sampling of what we have to go through. He also constantly loses his extra body parts, including, but not all mentioned: hearing aids, dentures, glasses, canes and so on.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to take care of my wife who has severe high blood pressure, arthritis and much much more.   My own malady list goes on forever and ever so I won't bother to start.  Besides, I've written all about it before.  Excuse me for a moment.  I have to shoot insulin into my belly.  Be right back.  :)

Though I still suffer from depression and disease time to time, I'm still able to find the humor and positive aspects of life, despite what I'll sometimes put on this blog or my Facebook wall.  I think people don't look closely enough at a person, in order to try to get to know them, at least, to some degree.  What a shame!  For me.  For others.  Everyone.   

Inquisitor Kelly: What's the weirdest thing that's happened to you, lately?

Honest Kelly: Well, for this scorchingly hot summer, there was a woman in her early forties, in a tank top and pair of shorts, sitting on her ten speed bicycle.  She would be sitting on her bicycle for hours and hours at the end of our road.  I would go to the store, for awhile or go to the park or wherever.  When I'd come back.  Sure enough, she would still be there.  I wanted to roll down my window and ask her if she was okay because she looked like she was going to cross out onto the side of road to ride her bike, even though when there wasn't any traffic, but she would just sit there, instead and quietly wait.  Every so often, she did a little circle ride at the end of our road but she wouldn't travel further.

I thought something was wrong with her, maybe mentally, but wasn't sure.  Maybe, I thought, she was just afraid to take her bike out and ride it along the side of the road.  I never asked. 

I come to find out from my wife, from the neighbors and what my wife witnessed herself, that this woman was a prostitute.  My wife caught her bobbing her head up a down on some guy in a car at what used to be a dentist's office nearby.  The dude had his head leaned back, in apparent ecstasy.  I guess he was giving the ol' girl some free toothpaste.  :)  I bet she could have used some real toothpaste, a pint of mouthwash and medical attention for any diseases she might carry.

The neighbors told us that guys would pull up along the side of her bike, talk to her a bit and then get out to put her bike in their trunk.  And then, away they went off to somewhere, for awhile, before returning her to the end of the road.  Then she did the "wait on a bike" routine again.

On several occasions, she was found to be wearing a sign around her neck during those skin blistering days.  The sign read, in big bold lettering: Pick me up!  I'll make you happy!

There was a smiley face next to the word "happy."  A couple neighbors in our apartment complex said she was mentally challenged.  No kidding, I thought.  The sitting out in nearly 100 degree weather with an obvious sign around her neck didn't give that detail away at all.

These days, I don't see her... anywhere.  Maybe the police finally picked her up.  Maybe she's in a mental institution.  Who knows?  In any case, she's off the end of our road and we still have a bunch of neighborhood kids who still, gleefully, carelessly, play out in the middle of the entire length of our road with their balls and bikes and toys, not giving a shit if they get ran over or not.  Btw, all of these kids have medium sized front and back lawns and big driveways.  The parents, of course, still put signs out near the road, declaring that we should all slow down for the sake of their children.

Yeah, and people still like to tell me that people are okay.  lol.  Take care, everyone!  I'll be taking a blog break for awhile.  Hopefully, I will blog yet again next month, sometime.  Btw, would you care to try my free toothpaste?  Just thought I'd ask because... as I've often said... I CARE A LOT.

Bad Service, Truths and Perceptions

There's been a lot of false starts, bad service, unwanted absence and too much of that unwanted shit and not enough of that preferable shit going on around here.

I hate to complain (actually, I quite enjoy it since complaining acts a release valve on my usually bottled up seething rage) but as I found myself on the righteous track of coming back to the wonderful world of blogging, a series of incidents preventing me from making a triumphant stay in my own neck of the bloggy woods occurred once again.

Hell, for a couple days there, I was even able to put out a couple posts without anything falling out of the sky to cave in my head. I thought I was in a utopia or paradise or an island filled with beautiful women, cheerfully sucking my meat pole for all it's worth. And it's worth a great deal, let me tell ya. At least to me. Okay, so that part about me feeling like I was on an island filled with tasty gals slobbering on my knob was an exaggeration. But I was starting to feel not tormented for a change in life and it was pretty decent, to tell ya the truth.

My friend asked me to go to his place to wait on a cable repairman (that didn't come) while the friend went to work. I owed my friend a couple favors so I did it. Besides, I'm a helluva great buddy. It's true! Believe it or not!

But the cable guy neither called or came. So my friend calls up the company support number when he gets home, listens to instructions on pushing this numbered button for this department or reason or service which connects him to more instructions for more buttons to push until he finally reaches a real human being and then proceeds to talk about how unsatisfied he is with the service.

He has a helluva lot more patience than I do. He had been without cable service for three days and the company he was dealing with had been promising to send somebody and no one called or showed up.

So instead of being at home, I was at his place, listening to the radio, reading a book and not doing anything on my blog or visiting other blogs. It sucked. And I did this on Monday and Wednesday, for my friend, waiting for the repair dude. I know. I'm a great friend. I mentioned that, right? Of course, when my friend got home from work both of those days, he fed me. Monday, it was grilled steaks for my wife and I. Wednesday, it was a dinner at a good Mexican restaurant.

By the way, the cable repair dude finally showed up Wednesday. He ended up temporarily fixing the friend's TV reception but said that the problem was actually the tuner on his TV. In other words, it wasn't the cable company's fault for his shitty reception but they are at fault for giving him the runaround and not giving him service until he finally reached an upper management type person during that last phone call he made.

Now, Tuesday, I was without Internet service. This would be the day between the days I sat at my friend's house, waiting for an idiot repair guy. I called the tech support, as I was going through some severe withdrawal symptoms from not being able to go on the Internet and after pushing several buttons to direct me to this number or that number, I was finally told a message by an automated machine. It said: There is no Internet service (with the company I have it with) for the entire state (I was living in) for an indeterminate amount of time but our experts were working on the problem.

There was no apology for this situation but at this point I was thinking:

At least the voice was clear and not heavily accented by somebody in India or Russia or BumFuck, Egypt. Usually, when you contact tech support for whatever electronic fuck-a-ma-jig you own, you usually get some asshole you can't understand.

Bad service is getting to be like a contagious disease in this country from what I've read, heard about and seen, first hand.

Don't ya just love the push button routine you have to go through with these companies? If you're lucky, they might give you a number to push to speak to a representative. But it's usually not the case. Especially when you want service within the next 24 hours.

I could go on and on about bad restaurant service but I'm sure you've had your own unfair share of that, too. Like when they don't give you a refill on your drinks. Or don't get your order right. Or bring your salad, main entree and dessert, all at once.

Since I'm back for the moment and terribly paranoid now about attempting to actually research a subject and write up a real post without something else happening, this post will have to do for now. Please enjoy the rest of these images, featuring truths and perceptions. Good day, good weekend and I'll try to catch up on all your blogs later after I get some shit done around here.

I thought I'd offer a wonderful clue at this point in the post: If you can't make out what you're ssseeeinng, use your fucking mouse to click and enlarge the image.

I'm always the Good fucking Samaritan. I tell ya.

I really liked the not-so-subtle truth that can be found in this Saturday Night Live skit. I know it's an exaggeration but there is a bit of truth and a big heaping helping of humor to be found while watching this. Heh heh.

Right On Cue

You're watching a movie at home, something supposedly bad happens to the supposedly likable female character. She starts to tear up. The sad music begins to play because the director wants to illicit a reaction from the movie's audience. The actress begins to cry. Right on cue, the sad music becomes louder, practically begging you to go for a Kleenex. After all, it is the intention of the director manipulate you into crying, feel sorry for the character, perhaps think of the situation happening to you for that personal response.

Or it could be a movie that's meant to be hilarious. Right on cue, there is music to set that mood, too.

You may or may not react but it's important to the producers of said movie that you do react. It is their intention that you purchase the movie later or do whatever they want you to do that usually involves you buying something in connection to the (product) movie.

You turn on the TV. There's Paris Hilton. "Dumb" rich blonde, always needing attention. She'll do the baby talk routine, show some skin for a sexual response from straight men and gay women, will act stupid, will promote her company's product, will do whatever it takes to get what she wants but never what she needs. Right on cue, she flashes a smile, craving attention from the media because, deep down, she has low self esteem. Cameras flash as she gets out of the limo. Heck, Paris might even pretend to forget to wear panties for some scandalous pictures that only add to the attention that is craved or for marketing purposes.

Is that Paris's pussy? Better zoom in for the possible genital warts. Either that or ignore that and her obvious act and read an interesting book, instead. Might I suggest Jon Stewart's Earth?

And it's nearly the same routine for a lot of the superficial folks in Hollywood. And it goes on and on. You got your Lohans, your Sheens, your desperate Reality TV " wannabe stars", your politicians and a puffed up, egotistical Donald Trump thrown in- just for good measure. Wants and insecurities. Putting on acts for a response or money. Blah fucking blah, blah, blah.

Or for another scenario: A friend or family member you know tells you "a deeply moving" story to get you to help them that involves you breaking your back or giving them money or causing you stress. Or something else you can probably think of. Put on your thinking cap!

How about the restaurant scene? The waitress at the restaurant is joking around with you, hoping you'll leave a big tip for her. She asks how you are, how your day is. The waitress smiles, laughs, maybe even flirts. Whatever it takes to make money. She plays as if she's been your friend for who knows how long in her act.

Personally, I'm just interested in getting some decent service while I'm eating the food, transparent food industry employee. I will give you a tip if the service is good. The tip amount will not be based on how exceptional your friendliness routine was. The end.

Commercials are painfully obvious with their agendas, as well. See this, they say and this will happen. Let us make you laugh or smile or nod in agreement. We want you to feel good about buying our product, because we care. If that doesn't work, maybe we'll scare you, subtly or not so subtly, into buying it.

And then there's the news programs. A reporter or anchorperson reads their script to get the intended response. Right on cue, his or her voice will waver, maybe slow their words for the effect on you. Or maybe they will infuse their words with faked excitement about an event or group or individual. And because you're the target, you are supposed to have pity, happiness or anger for this person or situation. What fun they're having! I'm wanking furiously in tribute to their supposed ingenuity. Either that or I'm shrugging my shoulders and moving on to something that's actually substantial and worthy of thinking about.

Those wacky fucks on TV will talk about a politician named Weiner sending a Twitter pic of his wiener. They will talk about the latest celebrity break up. They will say things that you've heard before too many other times. Different names. Same old shit. All because they want the response, ratings and/or money.

The images on the TV go by quickly. Our attention spans have dwindled to mere seconds.

Ugh! It's a blessing and a curse to see through people. This will sound cynical. This will sound paranoid. But it's the truth. Everyone has an agenda. I've said it before. I'm saying it again- because the superficiality of it all has bothered me almost from the very beginning of existence. I just want honesty, my fellow human wads of fuck. Tell me what you want. If it feels right for me, I'll give it to you, because I, as well, might have an agenda.

Ha! Ha! Ha! What silly shitting, eating, self-absorbed, needlessly manipulative, sometimes easily manipulated beings we are!

And here lies the truth, in the next paragraph. Watch your step! Please, don't trip over it or you may or may not acknowledge it.

When you hear or say the word "agenda" it conjures up something conspiratorial in one's mind but the agenda, itself, doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. Everyone has their own motives (agendas) or goals in life. This can be a positive objective like the good feeling you get from helping someone out. But people will deny that that wasn't their intention or it wasn't in the back of their minds before coming to somebody's aid. It doesn't matter, though. As long as they truly helped someone out.

I'm sure you can think of other agendas that can be positive. And some that are not, like some of those mentioned above.

I shall now step off of my soapbox, thus ending the lecture. Was I hoping to illicit a response to this topic? Nope. I just like stating the obvious (to me) and making observations. That's my thing. Manipulation isn't usually my game. I leave it to the experts. Besides, I find it boring and repulsive.

So right on cue, I say, "Have yourselves the dandiest of days!"

Too Disgusting For Me

You know you've lived too long in this world when you've been around long enough to see a clothes company selling push up bras for little girls. That's right. In case you haven't heard, Abercrombie & Fitch are now selling push-up bikini bras for 7 to 14 year old little girls. The bra's padded cups and halter tops promise to lift and emphasize what little boobs the girls have before puberty.

Why in the fuck is this a reality?

I mean I don't get it. This goes way beyond sick to me. And I'm a pretty sick puppy.

The Abercrombie & Fitch company are the same stinking douchebags that sold (don't know if they're still selling them) a line of thongs for 7 year olds, in 2002, that were decorated with the words "Eye Candy" and "Wink Wink". These fuckers should absolutely be killed. Any parent buying any of this crap for their little daughters should be taken out to the woodshed and given forty whacks with a machete.

Push-up bras are sex tools. That's it. Ridiculously deceptive sex tools, at that. What kind of people would endorse this crap for kids? Bad enough that adults do this and the Botox injections and the other superficial bullshit that people do because they believe appearances to be so fucking important. Why would you push your kid into trying to be more adult-like? Do you want some pervert to rape them? If that isn't the parent who would buy something like this and Abercrombie & Fitch's goal, I don't know what it could be. After it's all said and done, that will be the likely result sooner or later. Who knows? It's probably already happened.

I feel the same way about these little girl beauty pageants you see on TV these days. The parents dress their little girls up, sometimes barely over the age of four, maybe not even that old, in tiny revealing dresses, tu-tu's, gaudy jewelry and so much make up that only a whore would wear. Then they have them compete with other little girls in revealing outfits and have them dance seductively and act like a slut on stage before a cheering audience. The parents that enter their little girls into these contests are more depraved than I could ever imagine. It boggles the fucking mind. I might write about some sick shit at times, but I would never involve children and I sure as hell wouldn't make up these pervert-watching TV shows for all the child molesters out there, drooling and ogling.

The kids are the real victims here. They don't know any better. They think they're just playing "dress up" but on a grander scale. But the parents and adults, in general, should know better. They must be doing it for profit or fame or to somehow live their warped dreams through their kids. Whatever the excuse, it's not good enough and completely wrong in so many ways.

Hey, if you wanna watch something that goes so far beyond good taste and good sense, watch Toddlers and Tiaras. It's one of those little girl beauty pageants shows and it's on a channel that I thought would have the decency enough NOT to have something like this on their schedule- The Learning Channel. This irresponsible show was so creepy and frightening to witness, I had to turn it off after just a few minutes. It made me sick. And it takes quite a bit to make me sick. On second thought, don't watch this shit! I wouldn't subject anybody to watching anything this distasteful. Go watch a porn, featuring a bunch of burnt out crack whores and sexually diseased freaks, instead. It would be a helluva lot more wholesome and less degrading, for sure.

Well, that's all I can say about this kind of thing. I think I'm going to go out for a walk pretty soon and try to clear my mind. Shit like this really agitates me.

Doesn't It Piss You Off When...

.... people don't give you a straight answer?

.... people want you to drop whatever the hell you're doing to do something with them?

.... people drop in, without calling first?

.... people cut in line in front of you?

.... people talk incessantly about the Royal Wedding, President Obama, a celebrity or something else that people get tired of hearing about?

I just thought I'd bring this awfully important stuff up because I really don't have anything else to post about today. You can complain if you want but I'll probably just sit here, laugh, scratch my ass or check out those important status updates that people delight in putting on Fartbook that are so riveting and uplifting and stuff. Hell, I might even make myself a cup of coffee, look at the non-stop pouring rain outside my window or yell something to my wife who is sitting about two rooms away and then she'll yell back, "What?! I can't hear you?! Come in here if you want to talk to me?!"

Then I'll yell back, "Wait a minute! I couldn't hear exactly what you said! I've got the music on too loud in here! Maybe if I come in the room where you're at, I'll be able to hear you better!"

She'll scream back, "Whaaaaaat!?"

Then I'll get up from the chair, here, grab my coffee off the desk and walk into the room, sit down and try to talk to the wife while she's watching a previously recorded daytime talk show and become so bored with what I'm seeing that I begin to drool, nod off and go to sleep. This is when the cat will suddenly jump into my lap, causing the cup of piping hot coffee to spill onto my crotch. Of course, I'll scream like a maniac, which in turn, will piss off my wife.

She'll shout, "Why don't you go back in the other room if you're going to make all this racket! I'm trying to catch up on "Ellen" (or it could be "The View") and you won't stop screaming over a little hot coffee splashed over your nuts!"

So... after I wipe the coffee off of my burnt nutsack, the chair and the floor, I'll come back in here and start typing out something profound for a post- you know... something like this.

Thanks. You've been a great audience. In case I don't say it tomorrow... HAPPY EASTER, EVERYONE.

Controlling Your Show of Emotions and Imagination

My last post was a video featuring Leonard Nimoy singing a goofy, weird song while being surrounded by hyper-happy dancing girls that were wearing groovy outfits from the 1960's or 70's. The video clip was odd for a lot of reasons but one thing, in particular, that seemed strange was that Nimoy, who all of us were familiar in playing the famous character of stoic Vulcan, Mr. Spock, was smiling, laughing and singing.

And seeing this started my thinking on a certain trek in my mind. But not a "Star trek". Har har har.

Try to follow me on this:

There were a few episodes in Star Trek where Spock's mind would be flipped and he would be showing different emotions, as a result of being drugged or being controlled by another alien or another reason but, for the most part, Spock didn't show his emotions. I also recall the episode where his best buddy, Captain Kirk had drifted out into space and was considered dead during the last 15 minutes of the show. When Spock found out he was alive, he laughed, grabbed Kirk's shoulders and damn near creamed his jeans (or whatever those pants were called) and exclaimed something like, "Jim, you're alive! I want to have your baby!" Well, not exactly, but you get the picture.

Spock had emotions, of course, in the Star Trek shows and movies. He just felt he had to be in complete control of them almost every minute of the day. Spock was a control freak when it came to that.

The first point I'm finally getting at is this: Spock changed over the years, especially in the last 3 or 4 movies with Nimoy's character in them. Not just age-wise, but in the way Spock was allowing himself to show emotion. In no other movie or episode was this more evident than in the last Star Trek movie with the young cast of actors playing the main characters of the original Star Trek series from the 1960's. In this movie, which I thought sucked except for the few scenes Old Spock was in, Old Spock was happy as hell to see his pal, James Kirk, again. Sure, the Kirk character was really young in this movie, but any version of Kirk was a thrill for Old Spock to see again. As far as Old Spock was concerned, as was everyone else, Kirk was dead. Old Spock showed his emotions throughout the movie in one scene or another and it seemed like he had finally let go of his stranglehold on his emotions.

The second point is this: I've known people that are as emotionally constipated as Spock or nearly as much. You likely know people like that, too, to a certain extent. People who are so afraid to lose control or bare their emotional hides, that they attempt to keep as stoic in expression and limit their revealing actions as much as they can.

When I was younger, I went through a spell where I kept my emotions hidden, as well. I felt it important that people see only the serious side of myself. I thought it to be of high importance to give off the appearance of being in perfect control. If I made a mistake or did something embarrassing (or what I thought to be embarrassing), I would be extremely critical of myself. Then a chain of events occurred in my life that taught me that this type of thinking was, in effect, being dishonest with who I was. Better yet, certain events showed me just how trivial it was to be that way. Life is too short and besides, it's a ridiculous mode of thinking to be in. Like putting yourself in a cage and placing shackles on yourself. I haven't thought like that for decades and I believe that is an example of emotional growth and courage. To thine own self be true. Shakespeare, of course.

Yes, indeedy, there was a time when I cared a great deal about what people thought but that seems long ago. Probably because it was. Say about 20 to 30 years ago. lol. The older I get, the more I just don't give a shit or rat's ass what this insane human race thinks. On top of that, I really don't respect what many think due to how most of the hairless monkeys on this planet seem to lovingly embrace war, money and nonchalantly pollute the world as if they had another planet to inhabit and... well... I could go on and on. How can you respect the opinions of a species like that? I know I can't.

Getting back to controlling emotional appearance: Now you see this every day with how some people interact with one another. They're very guarded. Very much in control of what they show and what they hide. They're either afraid of being hurt or wish to give off a certain appearance they feel that will cause people to take them seriously. Or some other reason. I mean it's okay to act tough in order to make others feel secure in a potentially hazardous situation. Like in a battle or a house fire or whatever. I get that. But I'm talking about the normal circumstances in our lives when some will go to either extreme in acting overly emotional and dramatic or not showing hardly any emotion at all. The most logical way to be, as Old Spock might say, is to just act the way you feel at the moment. Take the chance. Grow. Moderation is key, too, just like in anything else.

People, I've also observed throughout the years, seem to have lost their childlike qualities, too. I'm talking about their sense of wonder. Their imagination. What happened to reinforcing the idea in kids that it's alright to have an imagination instead of fitting them with certain items, like handheld electronic games or other things that tend to curb imagination. I know it's fashionable these days to copy one another but, damn it, people... what happened to original thinking?

Is that one of the reasons why Hollywood can't come up with any good movie premises or plots anymore and they're just going back and "rebooting", rehashing or "re-imagining" (I hate that term) older movies like The Wizard of Oz (it's true, they're working on a new version) or Superman or vampire flicks and so many others? I know part of the reason they do that is because of the almost guaranteed profit from name recognition but I think a lot of it is done from a lack of imagination.

I'm merely describing a few ways we place boundaries upon ourselves. We sometimes try to fit so well within the confines of society that restrict who we really are for the sake of what one person, one group or one species believes to be the correct way to express yourself. And who, better than you, should know how to be yourself? Answer: There is no one better. And that is my final point.

On a completely different subject, I've decided to challenge myself to a duel. Well, not really a duel but more like a game or test just to see if I can do it. For the entire month of April, I plan to write up a post each and every day. If a family emergency or some prolonged family obligation should take up most of any given day, the challenge will be paused. But for now, it seems like it's a doable feat. Hell, I just wanna see if I can make it happen. Some of these posts might be tiny. Some, not so much. A few might only show a picture of two flies fucking on a big heap of dung. Who knows? So, if you can keep up with the coming barrage of posts, that's better than swell. If ya can't, then I will be forced to show some emotion and cheerfully press a high voltage stun gun against your genitals and give ya the juice. Zzzzt. Zzzzt. Woo hoo!

Just kidding. Smiles, everyone, smiles!

The 7 Facts Award

Wouldn't you know it? The great and wonderful me has gotten another award thrust upon myself and I want to thank the just as great and wonderful, if not better, LilPixi, from It's A Lollipop World.

LilPixi has got a kick ass, wild and humorous blog that features delightful topics ranging from popping penis balloons to pleasant experiences like having your heart abruptly stop pumping while slippery shit dumplings suddenly pop out of your ass like a Jack-In-The Box as you're attacked by crazed, jacket-eating giraffes. I'm might have added a bit of color to that last description but, basically, it's true. Check out her zany, original blog to see what I mean by all this insanity.

As usual, there are the rules. As usual, I will break one or more of them. Here are the rules:

*Copy and paste this award to your blog

* Thank and link to the person that tagged you with it.
* List 7 facts about yourself
* Give the award to 5 other bloggers and tell them they have it.

I shall list 7 facts of myself, once again, like I did at the beginning of this month, because I know how much everyone is just dying to know more about sweet lil' ol' me. I'll try my damnedest to tell something about myself I haven't before on this site but I can't guarantee you'll be oddly fascinated or even erotically stimulated by the answers.

#1- I can hear, just at this moment, at one o' clock in the morning, some asshole loudly rummaging around in the large garbage bin, down below one of my apartment windows, slightly off to the right side of the building. No shit! This numb nuts is hunting for I-don't-know-what at this time of night but it is unnerving. I'm wondering what kind of info he might be finding out. Damn, I hope he doesn't find the messed up Barbie Dolls I threw in the trash that have my name stamped on their plastic asses. That might be embarrassing.

#2- TV shows I watch on a semi-regular basis would include: House, Family Guy, Nova, Bizarre Foods With Andrew Zimmern, 1000 Ways To Die, Tosh.O, National Geographic specials, Baggage, NCIS, The Daily Show, Minute To Win It, History Channel shows and more I can't think of at the moment because the douche bucket down below won't stop making a racket.

Perhaps he's collecting cans. I hear a lot of tink-tink-tinking going on. Perhaps I'll save him the trouble of making a few lousy bucks by collecting cans at one in the morning to drag to the recycle center later for money and throw a few dollars out the window at him so he'll go away. Fuck it! I'll just pull the window up and activate "my amazing sprinkler system" (also called My Bladder and Tubular Sex Organ) and give the guy a golden shower. Nah. Strike that! That freak might enjoy it.

Moving on...

#3- Is an omelet really an omelet without the cooked flesh of some dead animal and some cheese? I think not. I don't eat omelets without meat and if you try to force one, sans meat, upon me, I will be forced to declare war. It would be as bad as drinking decaffeinated coffee to me. What's the point?

#4- I was taught how to fish, set up a tent and camp, chop wood, enjoy a good strong cup of coffee, reap the benefits of what worlds books can open for you, draw, paint, cook and observe before you blindly jump into something all before the age of ten. Imagining and creating stories came naturally to me. So did the ability to be direct and honest. An ability some people in society annoyingly lack for the purposes of not wanting to "make waves" or be open.

#5- I like animals more than I like people. A real shock, isn't it? Hahaha..... Okay. I'll stop.

#6- I was once an elf for the Keebler Cookie Company. But instead of doing our work in a tree, we did it in a factory filled with huge hot ovens. I was driven further into the depths of madness with this fast paced, stressful job. It was my duty to watch, from 10 at night to 8 in the morning, literally millions of goddamn cookies go down the conveyor belt very, very quickly and check for minor imperfections of each friggin' cookie. If you found one or more unsightly cookies, you had to have the reflexes of Flash to grab it off the line before it got to the packagers' section. Chaos often ensued when there were more than a few at a time that were "bad".

In only seconds, I had to judge the quality of each cookie as they whizzed by. Does this one have enough chocolate chips? Is that one perfectly round? Does that one seem photogenically balanced and capable of pleasing a typical obese American? Gosh, I sure hoped so. My eyes watered and glazed over after a few hours of this relentless burden and my back was about to break. Eventually, the stress got to me with this job (slave labor) and I allowed a billion and one cookies to pile up on the factory floor one night. When blood comes out of your ears and drips on the perfectly shaped cookies, you know it's quitting time. Boy, you should have heard what those potty-mouthed elves had to say about that mess. Goodness gracious, I was appalled!

#7- I've met eight of the major players of The Big Red Machine. The Major League Baseball World Champions of 1975 and 1976 were gracious enough to give me and our small town's citizenry, free of charge, a signed autograph of themselves back then. It isn't too often that a big name professional athlete does anything like that- free of charge- these days. It's all about the money. That was an amazing day for a 12 year old boy or for anyone else, for that matter. Click the link above for the significance of these guys. They are legends.

As for any recipients to pass this award forward to, I'm going to give it to one blogger I've never mentioned before and whose blog has given me chuckles aplenty past and present. He may do whatever he wants with it. Let it be known, I have officially bestowed this award/survey upon him like a crown of golden dingleberries.

The proud recipient is Rico Swaff of the spectacular blog, The Chronicles of Rico. Hey dude, follow the rules above as much as you want. Take care, folks.

Car Spins Wheels In Snow and Catches on Fire

Watch this idiot, on live TV, spin his wheels until he catches on fire.

What Is Considered Newsworthy

I gotta be honest. I've been so bogged down with family problems, I haven't felt much like blogging or going on the Internet. Of course, I have to check my family/friends email account for the latest drama. Wedged in between that sort of stuff are the inane forwards I get. A few are funny. Most are shit I can't delete quick enough. You know the type.

Prayers

Cutesy pics of puppies and kitties

Lame jokes

Chain mails

Stories that are supposedly inspirational

When I do get on the net, I'm usually looking for things worth looking at and that serve as a temporary distraction from my insane reality. The temporary distractions have to qualify as something substantial, however. And by substantial, I mean it has to offer either real humor, newsworthy stories or solid entertainment. And by solid entertainment, I don't mean something like a goofy, obviously scripted Reality TV show where a thing called a Snooki has a nonsensical argument with another sub human thing that appears as if it has dipped it's face in a large vat of make up.

If (un)Reality TV shows aren't one of the signs of the End Times for the human race, I'll be surprised. These morons and anyone stupid enough to watch this shit should be deleted, as well.

What I still find amusing, annoying, sad and mind boggling is what passes as news these days.

I was checking out this website and it has given out, what they believe, are guidelines to what makes a story newsworthy. I don't agree with a few of these supposed factors that makes news worthy of conveying to the masses. For example:

Prominence

Where they say that famous people should get more coverage just because they're famous. For an example, they gave the possible scenario where the Queen of England breaks her arm. That's news- to them. Not to me. I don't care what celebrity, politician or Oompa Loompa breaks their dick or ruptures a spleen. That's a private medical matter that's boring to me, personally. That bit of news I heard the other day about the Queen throwing a hissy fit over Prince William not consulting with her over his wedding details was an example of stupidity for many reasons. For one, that's a personal family thing that the media didn't need to say anything about. And two, Prince William should have told her that it's his and his fiancee's wedding and the Queen should go act like she's important somewhere else. I might also add that he should tell the bitter old nosy bitch to shove her asinine complaints way up her royal hoo hoo.

Suck on that, Grandmummy!

Timing or state of currency, according to the same website's authors is a big factor, too, as far as something being newsworthy. For me, that isn't as crucial as the content. Something substantial that happened a month ago may be something I haven't heard about yet- and want to know about. And certainly, when you're watching Network TV news, half of the time you're not watching anything substantial, anyway. More often than not, you'll receive a deluge of information about the antics of a celebrity (like Charlie Sheen or Lindsay Lohan) and how they've gotten drunk, coked up, got naked on a merry-go-round and had sex with three albino midgets earlier that day. Or something like that. Who cares? That's on them. I don't care how many times they've gone through rehab. That's their personal business.

I know celebrity bullshit "news" is manna from heaven for the ignorant, but goddamn, does it have to be everywhere all the time? Give me a break! By the way, for all you folks living in Great Britain, that's America's sorry excuse for royalty-Celebrities. At least for some retards.

Bottom line: I'd rather hear, read or see significant news at the expense of up to the minute current news that is actually insignificant.

The Following Is Also Not News:

*Politicians bickering with other politicians in an endless stalemate of interests and agendas.

*Reports of doctors saying that eating too much of this or that is unhealthy and then contradicting themselves three months later to say eating this or that is okay again.

*Who, exactly, won the big million dollar lottery. I'm sure the person winning that lottery really wants their name announced so everyone can badger them for money.

*The latest electronic gadget

*High school sports game scores

*Anything having to do with Facebook, especially the nerdy boy Facebook creator, Mark Fuckburger (or whatever his name is). It's hard to believe they made Fuckburger "Person of The Year" in some popular U.S. magazine. Has he even gone through puberty yet?

*Biased opinions

*And more I can't think of at the moment because the coffee buzz is starting to wear off.

Like I've mentioned once before on this blog, Network TV news is (at least here in the U.S.) usually motivated by cross sector partnerships of big corporations, politicians with self serving agendas and self interest groups. You're only allowed to see what they want you to see. I'm not a conspiracy freak. You just have to do a bit of research to see who's owned by whom or who's being manipulated by whom. Reporters are paid their salaries to not say certain things against their employers/corporations. When you compare some of the more truthful and revealing news sources you can find on the Internet to the news you see on TV, those Internet news sources are more often accurate or dead on accurate. Not always, but the ones I check out are usually reliable.

The Following Subjects Are News:

*The deaths and strife of a mass of people (e.g. Haiti earthquake of last year, Flooding in Australia, The recession and unemployment issues, Wars). When major news corporations report about events such as this, they will usually stop reporting about it when the "next big news item" comes along, long before the strife or devastation has ended for the suffering populace in the region affected.

*REAL technological, scientific, medical breakthroughs that greatly improve or save people's lives.

*Climate change, environmental pollution.

*Positive solutions toward getting away from our dependency on coal and fossil fuels.

*Everyday people saving others' lives.

*And more I can't think of because the coffee buzz has completely worn off now.

But I think you get the picture, or at the very least, my point of view of what is truly newsworthy and what the media, in all it's varied forms, considers news. Your perspective may be different and I respect that. What I won't respect or tolerate is an organization or media outlet that is so completely biased that they will report something that is misleading or a total falsehood. And yeah, I know certain news is reported for reasons of ratings and/or greed- but that doesn't mean it's right and should be accepted.

When will people learn?

Conditioning Techniques and Widespread Insanity

The first time you put your finger in a quickly rotating metal fan blade will probably also be your last. When you see the blood spurting forth from your digit like a geyser, you will have hopefully learned a lesson. And you will come away with not only a dismembered finger, but an association of the spinning metal fan blade with pain and the loss of something valuable. Like your goddamn finger!

In our everyday world, such learned associations or conditioned responses are realized in countless ways: A driver will brake at a red light in order to avoid injury or a ticket. Somebody eating shrimp and afterwards feel their throat closing up to an allergic reaction to shellfish will likely not eat it again and avoid it, entirely. A friend that steals from you will teach you not to trust that person again. And so on. These types of conditioned responses can only benefit you in the future.

These are normal, natural responses that prove useful in your life. Positive stimuli for your benefit.

And then there are the ones that aren't useful, beneficial, normal or natural. Such as: Phobias, superstitions, blindly following instead of thinking for fear of ridicule or punishment, addictions to drinking, gambling, money or anything self destructive for hollow, temporary contentedness.

People, I've always found, are an odd bunch. Even as a kid, I was an observer of society. The older I become, the more I see the flaws that get in the way of human progress. Often times, I wonder if we are devolving.

From youth to adult, we are conditioned by the commercials we see on TV or rhetoric we read from print or computer to act or feel a certain way. We're duped by ads, politicians, supervisors, friends, family and more. Conditioning techniques come in the forms of rewards and punishments. Do and act correctly, according to society as a whole and you may receive an award. If you refrain from doing what is expected or required- punishment may be inflicted in verbal or physical form.

There are only a few things that people are capable of that I can think of that are clearly acts that require punishment. Murder of an innocent human is one. Rape is another. Stealing, yet another. Telling someone a lie, in order that they do your bidding, is a good example, too. I'm sure there are more but I could be typing all night long. And that's not going to happen.

What frustrates me is the fact that people are not aware of these techniques that are used to ingrain these negative notions inside their minds. At least, that's the evidence that seems to be flaunted by most everyone. All they know is what they're told.

Religions, companies and governments are grand manipulators. Weapons they use that dig into your mind for their benefit the most? Words that instill fear so you do their bidding. Think about that, unless you haven't already.

It seems as years go by, while casually observing the public, friends, family and myself, of course, the will to think for oneself in this society has become disrupted and even corrupted. Has it always been this way with the human species? To think or act this way or else?

To be made a slave by any organized mass is the truest shame one can take on. When I see everyone in our society thinking and acting as expected or planned, it causes me to believe that we are not unwilling victims of widespread insanity but that we actually invite it, welcome it and wrap it around ourselves as if it were a warm, comfortable security blanket.

Strange What Is And Isn't Accepted

What I'll be ranting about today is from the point of view of someone living in the U.S. This post will be about the odd general beliefs of American culture, though many of these beliefs are shared by the rest of the world's populace. Enjoy. Think. Scratch your ass. Or all of the above.

ACCEPTED

Corporate greed and greed, in general is perfectly acceptable. When this society hears of corporate greed as in the case of Goldman Sachs, the mortgage bankers who routinely screw people out of money, giving exorbitant amounts of money to their CEO's, it makes the news for a couple days. Then the public yawns, when some form of corporate greed is exposed and says, "Well, what can you do?" and keeps working to pay their bills, raise their families and repeats the routine the next day. It's an old story. Pathetic and true. Any outrage may last a day at the most, if there is any.

We're encouraged, in the U.S., from an early age to adulthood that the accumulation of money and material things is the normal course to go in one's lifetime. Money is the end all-be all of existence, after all. And the void in your life must be filled with crap bought at the store, mall or online. Having enough currency to be secure and have a safe place to live in is simply not enough. Enough is never enough for us. We're fat? Yep. Have too many toys, trinkets and electronic gadgets? Sure. The rest of the world hates us? You bet. Do we turn a blind eye to what we are?

Well... Is the sun hot?

NOT ACCEPTED

I'm surprised that the English dictionary doesn't define a deviate as someone who believes life can be enjoyed by experiencing the simplest of things. You know. The sight of a flowing river or mountain. Love. Peace. A drive through the country. Creating something positive. Sharing something of yourself.

Eh, I guess someone like that would be called old fashioned, out of place. A real nonconformist! A real nonteam player! You better hang that illogically thinking head of yours in shame, freak! Your kind is not welcome and you shall be shunned!

ACCEPTED

War. What goes with greed better or is more associated with that cultural disease than acts of war? Well, I mean other than vast, pointless loss of life, whether it's military personnel or civilian. War is accepted, sometimes thought of as patriotic, even, and happily used to rob someone of their land and/or natural resources. Doesn't matter what innocent people are killed. Those civilians' deaths may make the news that day or not. Doesn't matter to the public. You can tell because we allow it to happen. That's called encouragement.

War is often celebrated- with the giving out of medals to people who kill other people, parades, banners or news of a battle triumph. Often, it will be explained away as perfectly acceptable using various excuses to justify it with the history-proven reliability tools of manipulation and propaganda.

NOT ACCEPTED

Talking. Listening. Understanding. Peace.

ACCEPTED

Celebrity or wannabe-celebrity worship. We can throw youth in the pot, as well. Our society and our media glorifies the rich, famous, young, thin or those trying desperately to be any of those things. That type of societal sickness has always been a great source of ridicule for me. Who's responsible? Media. Magazines. TV producers/networks. Ourselves, for buying into that shit.

Reality TV is as far removed from reality as you can get. It is all poorly scripted hogwash. The attention needy fucks on those low budget (to the networks advantage) shows are advised to act this way or that but they can't even convincingly do that. If I want to watch fiction, I'll watch a real TV show. Give me real actors and a believable storyline, for chrissakes! Or give me an interesting documentary! Anything but reality tv slop.

Youth is overrated, as well. Most movies star young actors these days. Older, more believable and interesting actors have been pushed to the sidelines. Most commercials are geared for the 18-24 demographic with the unnearned spending money mommy and daddy gave to them. My motto: Fuck 'em! That goes for those who cater to them, in any way, especially.

NOT ACCEPTED

Not paying attention to any of them. They have no more value than the rest of us.

ACCEPTED

The narrow-minded religious beliefs of organized religions. You could easily demonstrate that this, too, can be connected to greed and war through the uses and sources of books, newspapers, Internet, simple observation and common sense. Try it. It's fun. But I can't be held accountable if your brain starts to hurt from thinking differently. Just sayin'.

NOT ACCEPTED

Believing in things that most people scoff at. Examples: Ghosts, Extraterrestrials, some things that can't be seen with your eyes, ESP, an afterlife (not necessarily a Christian version) and other phenomenon I could go on about but won't. If I did, I'd never finish this post.

Remember folks: There's no such thing as a 100% guarantee on what is real and not real. That goes for anything. What was scientifically proven or disproved in the past can be squashed like a bug tomorrow.

Keep your mind open for anything. And feel free to dwell upon anything I said. And let me know if your head starts to hurt. I need a good laugh.