Give This Dog Some Food, Stupid Bastard!

This evil bastard in the video makes his dog so sad, the dog resorts to doing things he never felt possible doing before. This is what happens- after what you see in this video...

RutRo, The Talking Dog, jumps on his owner's bed when he's asleep and takes a big brown, steaming dump directly into his cruel master's mouth. Then the bastard suffocates, dies, loses control of his bowels and then the maid comes in... there's an awkward silence. She cuts a petite fart... Places a finger upon her lips (not her wrinkly pussy lips, mind you) and acts all coy and bashful- until- a car suddenly crashes through the house and the mayhem starts with a bang as the maid's head is cleanly cut off with a flying piece of broken glass.

Our hero dog is shocked, at first, but then he begins to devour chunks of both the old maid and his owner, making the world a better, more awesome place. Except the part where the house collapses and the dog, busy gobbling on a liver, is crushed into peanut butter.

Everyone comes to the scene, wanting to help and all that shit, but that's when the earthquake shakes the ground, opens up a quarter mile gap and believe it or not, takes the whole neighborhood. Of course, this is when God peeks his head through the clouds, shouts, "Dumb Fuckers!" and takes his size 1,583 shoe and smacks all of us about like those damn lady bugs that get in your house when it gets cold outside.

Good weekend to all.

Goodbye, Congressman Pervert!

People love their trivial distractions. When Congressman Anthony Weiner resigned today, the news media broke through the regular TV programming to announce his resignation over the lewd Twitter photos he sent. I happen to catch it before going out the door and running some errands in town.

When THE BREAKING NEWS thing flashed across the screen and the reporter said he was about to give everyone some important news, I was disappointed to find out it was only this bit of unworthy poop diddley. The way the reporter was frantically jabbering away, I thought the Chinese, the terrorists and North Korea were sending bombs our way or something.

But, no, just more hype over something trivial again. Boooooor-ring.

The reporter finally let loose with the potentially life-changing news by saying a politician was resigning over the erection Twitter pics he sent a young woman and they were going to show him doing his resignation speech on live TV.

To me, it might as well had been something as irrelevant as Charlie Sheen's maniacal rantings about winning or about Hugh Hefner's 25 year old fiancee calling off their wedding. That's what passes for news these days. I guess they figure people want to hear some shit that's more messed up than their own lives so they'll tune in, maybe even buy some crap because of the advertisements during the commercial breaks. Who knows? Big MEH!

I paused at the door just long enough to hear a heckler say, "Goodbye, pervert!"

At least the heckler, in the press conference area, was sending him off with a fond farewell, I thought. I stuck around for a few more seconds.

Then I had to laugh when the heckler asked the politician, Anthony Weiner, if he was more than 7 inches. That was funny. At least that part was a little surprising and offered some laughs.

I also read on the internet that CBS later bleeped that part out (the 7 inches) of the original video clip. That's too bad. At least it was actually funny. Hell, if you're going to distract people with nonsense, you should at least give them the full load. Wait. Maybe that didn't sound right.

The heckler said a few more things but then Weiner, the man that will always be known because of his infamous Internet boner pictures until the next big news comes along, stepped down from the podium.

Shrugging my shoulders, I went out the door and went into town, continuing my life as always.

Here's the uncut version of the BIG BREAKING NEWS.

Lion Tries To Eat Baby at Zoo

This is adorable. See the lion open up it's mouth real wide to... Well, I don't want to give too much away.



Lions are cute when they're that age. Wish I could say the same for that horrible little thing making all of that annoying noise.

Interesting Links, A Movie Clip and More

Check out the links below, friends and neighbors! There are things here that will likely interest and/or entertain you for hours on end. Enjoy!

Cooking The History Books: The Thanksgiving Massacre

Global Warming Skepticism

Does Death Exist? New Theory Says 'No'

Velvet Worm News

Man Says Police Forcibly Collected Urine Sample

Top Documentary Films

Why GMO Foods Have Failed At Producing Healthy Food For More People

Paranormal News

The Creature From Jekyll Island

Propaganda, PR and PsyOps

Near Death Experience Research Foundation

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Penises and Vaginae (My guest post on It's A Lollipop World)

Buffalo Bill Dance

Leonard Nimoy's Ballad of Bilbo Baggins

Perhaps the lowest point in Leonard Nimoy's career. Somehow, this video clip made me laugh and frightened me- all at once. Where was thou logic participating in this "quality" production, Spock? lol.

Alright... I admit it. I danced to it the whole time.

Work of Fart

Wow! This kid has talent. Due to writer's block, I am unable to come up with anything so I thought I'd at least leave you with a chuckle. You could also call this a cautionary tale.

Also: I've been told by some of you living outside the U.S. that you are unable to watch the video. I've had trouble with people (in the past), living outside the U.S., not being able to see vids from Spike TV, where this originally comes from. In regards to that, here's a link to the same clip on You Tube. Maybe you'll have better luck seeing it there. It's funny as fuck.

Work of Fart
Tags: Work of Fart

Kyle's Video

This video was created by the son of my friend, Steve. I would give you a description of it or my opinion of it, but instead, I'll just let you sit back and enjoyyyyyyyy.

Seduce Me- The Duck and The Bedbug

Watch these clips from Isabella Rosselini's show, Seduce Me, on the Sundance Channel. They're freaking bizarre and funny as fuck. Trust me. You have to see these to believe 'em.

There's nothing quite as humorous as watching a human being getting gang raped by ducks, I always say. And the bedbug clip certainly had "a point" to it. Not sure what, but I'm sure it's there somewhere.

Japanese Naked Man Festival and The Great News

I have got some great news for ya.

One, I've had a nice nap.

It was, as far as I can remember, completely dream-free. Always a plus in my book.

Two, and probably most importantly, I got a call from the doctor's office about my bloodwork from my quarterly glucose testing during Friday's appointment for my diabetes. The doctor (actually receptionist-you never get to talk to the doctor) said my blood sugar levels, cholesterol levels and the rest were NORMAL.

I was so overjoyed at this news and surprised, simultaneously.

I figured my levels would be completely fucked due to the overeating on the cruise we took, the stress of moving tons of shitola for a crazed father and my exercise routine being scrapped because of all the recent past events -that my levels would be up through the roof. Thank God, Jesus on a cracker, Zues, Bob Marley, Your Self, My Self, money or whatever fucking god you praise that everything came out dandy as chocolate peanut butter pie.

With little peanut pieces inside the pie.

Speaking of awe-inspiring imagery, I thought I'd share with you a video, below, that my sister recently inspired me to look into. This YouTube video is one that contains very strange content (no genitals are exposed-so you can breathe easy) but maybe it's strange to me because I don't see these sorts of shenanigans around here. The clip features several scenes of the annual Japanese Naked Man Festival.

Why is this dude giving a thumbs up in this picture?

Perhaps if you read on, you will find your answer, Grasshopper.

At one point, it looks as though they are trying to touch a bald guy, in a big crowd. Supposedly, like your typical god, this dude grants you good fortune -by simply touching his body. But GodBoy doesn't look too happy about it to me.

Nor would I. Check out the video for some laughs.

Lightning Strikes Big Butter Jesus

A six story statue, officially known as King of Kings burned to the ground, in Monroe, Ohio, Monday night during a lightning storm. When God's wrathful lightning bolt struck one of its outstretched hands, the Styrofoam and fiberglass made Jesus behemoth quickly caught on fire. All that remains is a part of the statue's metal frame. The amphitheater that sits behind the huge religious statue caught fire, too. This took place not far from where I live.

Ha! Missed me again, didn't you, God?

The statue was built by the Solid Rock Church in 2oo4. You would think that the church would have made the statue out of solid rock, but no, that would make too much sense.

This statue went by many names and nicknames. For one, it was called Big Butter Jesus because of it's off-white buttery color. And if you look closely at the photo, it does look like BBJ is sorta melting beneath the sun. One thing for sure, it sure did melt under the fire.

The King of Kings statue went by the following real (not made up by me) nicknames:

Big Butter Jesus

Drowning Jesus (See photo? See Big Jesus halfway underwater? Get picture?)

Touchdown Jesus (for it outstretched referee-like arms for a possible touchdown)

Quicksand Jesus

Giant Jesus

8-Ball Jesus

Big J

Super Jesus

MC 62-foot Jesus

and

Swamp Jesus

The lightning fire has sparked a new nickname for the statue- Terminator Jesus

Video of the burning Jesus is at the bottom of the post. Witness God's wrath for yourself! Behold! No mention if marshmallows were brought to the scene to toast over Jesus. If there were, perhaps he could have magically turned them into smores as he became engulfed in flames.

Maybe, as some have suggested, the Supreme Being didn't care for the unflattering names or the appearance of Quicksand Jesus. That's why it got striketh with the celestial, high-tension electrical discharge! The good Lord was pissed!

My brother-in-law thought it ironic and humorous the religious figure wasn't spared the rod (er, bolt) when a nude strip club, Bristol's, sits across the road. You would have thought that place would have felt the wrath of God, first. Eh, well. Maybe God thought that Big Butter Jesus was too glitzy or stupid looking or something. Ya never can tell with him, after all.

Comedian, Heywood Banks created a song about Big Butter Jesus before the lightning struck him. The video shows the fire and before and after shots of the statue. Enjoy!

Also: The Solid Rock Church plans on rebuilding the statue, once it can afford to. They estimate it will cost $225,000 to do it. too bad that money won't be spent on something worthwhile, like the poor and homeless.

Happy 420 Day, Everyone

Nice video. Funny song. I know I'm late in posting this, but I got sidetracked.

The Beautiful People At WalMart

Whenever I walk into the WalMart in my home town, I usually see at least a half dozen customers (freaks) wearing the most outlandish clothes. Sometimes you'll see insane fuckers coming in with their bunny slippers on their feet and their hair standing straight up -as if they've just crawled out of bed, not bothering to look into a mirror for a quick take on how they appear. Other times you can be treated to the sight of an old fat guy, wearing a muscle shirt that barely conceals his flabby man boobs.

It's like walking into a carnival side show. You never know what to expect. What makes it even worse is when you're attempting to eat at the fast food joint they usually have at a WalMart, seeing some of these ugly fucks and struggling to keep your food down.

Here's a video featuring pictures from the hilarious site, peopleofwalmart.com. It might cause you to chuckle or cause you to upchuck. One or both. You've been warned. The song that accompanies the video is quite lovely, too. Though the idea of vomiting up your Big Mac and fries sounds pretty bad, it could be worse. You could be living with one of these biological oddities seen in this compilation. That is, if you have the self esteem of a turd.

Enjoy!

Baby and a Snake

Some crazy parents in India believe, according to their religion, that it is good luck for a baby to touch a snake or for a snake to touch it. Either way, it's fucking stupid. This video clip freaked me out. It's been around for a couple years but it's the first time I've seen it.

Baby Ronald McDonald

Strange. Turn up your volume for the full effect of this clip. Let me know if you're "lovin' it"?

President Cristina Fernandez Loves Pork. So what!

The recent reports of what Argentine President Cristina Fernandez said about pork is true. But this guy making the video about the news item is, say, a lot over the top. Basically, she made little strange jokes about how eating pork can spice up your sex life and comparing it to Viagra.

Yeah, but this video is funny for a different reason, too. This guy sensationalized something not worth getting excited about, just as some news reporters sensationalized the story (but not really a story) when they first reported it.

I read about it here and there. Finally, I saw her on the TV news, myself and my first thought was -she's kind of hot and sexy! And just as good, or maybe better, she has a great sense of humor. But what's with the lip gloss? Did you smear that shit on with a spatula? Somehow, even because of that thick coating of lip gloss, I think she's even hotter. Mmmmm.

Before I get even more worked up about her than I already am (heh heh) here's the you tube description of the video, followed by the video:

Argentine President Cristina Fernandez was captured on the news saying that pork is better than Viagra when it comes to love making. The attractive leader of Argentina was speaking to a consortium of pork farmers when she said that she and her husband had a weekend full of exciting sex and she credited the pork sandwiches they ate for the exciting weekend of love making. She said who needs Viagra when you have pork.
more at http://www.andycordan.com

The Freakiest Clip I've Ever Seen

From one of my favorite shows -"A 1000 Ways to Die". This guy is beyond fucked up.

And remember, folks, don't try this at home! Good Lord!

Fascinating: The Man Who Collects Mac and Cheese Boxes

Everyone should be inspired by this great man's goal: To own every kind of macaroni and cheese box in the world! Let us place this man's image upon our billboards and build gold plated churches in Ian Golder's honor.

Better yet, let's build the churches out of macaroni and cheese. Mmmmm.

Watch this strangely inspiring video and decide if he's a circus freak -or not. Or maybe he's just got an unusual hobby. I'll try to rustle up some sort of picture, as well. Ah, there it is. At the top now. Magnificent!

A little personal history for ya to munch on: My wife and I, when we were dirt poor, would get really creative with the Mac and Cheese Dinner. We eat still it the stuff -but it can't be the powdery stuff we did buy- every once in a great while.

We would, in one or various combinations, add the following:

Cut up hot dogs
Broccoli
Italian spices (that carried a lot of stuff sitting on our spice shelf)
Sausage
Hamburger
Pork
Actually, any meat could be thrown in except cat meat. Or giraffe. We drew the line on that.

Here's the video clip from the show "Unwrapped". This episode was on tonight but it's a rerun. Still funny, in a weird way, though.

Mr. Methane: An Artist At Work

A performance, so profound, it blows one's mind.

What a Beautiful Musical

Check out this musical, featuring Lego toy people. You may be surprised how good it is. Heh heh.

Watch Silence of the Lambs: The Musical on CollegeHumor

Tree Man- Before And After

When I first heard the story about the "Tree Man", the Indonesian fisherman suffering from human papillomavirus, HPV, a rare immune deficiency, I was interested in learning more.

For 20 years, Dede Koswara lived and struggled with something you think you would only see in a horror flick. Covered with huge tree-like growths encasing his limbs, Dede was unable to feed himself, work and move about like a normal human being. The only income he had was made during his brief stint in a travelling freak show. Unable to touch his children and support them, Dede's life has been a life of constant struggle.

Luckily, there are doctors that are trying save this man from a life of pain and disfigurement. Dede has just underwent his 9th surgery.

Details about his condition, his two decades of hardship associated with the disease and the major operations that were performed to give this man his life back are detailed in the following links and video clips.

Tree Man on Discovery Channel

The Story of Dede

Tree Man's Ninth Surgery










Be sure to check it all out and be sure to be thankful you don't have to live with tree branches growing from your arms, legs and feet.