Inspirations and Heroes

Many times I believe humans use the term "hero" fairly loosely.  For me, a hero is someone who saves a person's life or risks their own life for someone else.  People, for example, who fall into the category of heroes would be, in no particular order: firefighters, good doctors, good nurses, first responders, EMT's and sometimes, the police, I say, somewhat begrudgingly.  When cops aren't focusing on some activity that's determined to be part of the drug war and actually going after murderers and rapists and preventing people from being hurt or killed- they're not only doing their job and committing to it, but they earn the right to be called a hero.  Now you get why I said 'somewhat begrudgingly' because, in my opinion, cops deserve to be called that when they are doing something beyond what I guess you could call "their call of duty."

Remember, while reading this:  These are my opinions.  Please don't throw the dictionary at me or pull quotes on me.  :)  I've nearly started lynch mobs on my blog in the past and I think if some of the comments had gotten any further, in intensity, I'd would be hopping a jet plane for Hawaii for fear of death threats.  Speaking of which, I went to Hawaii a couple months ago but that was to see the TUMULTUOUS CHICKEN INVASION.  Oh, and endless debates bore the crap out of me, too, but more importantly, I think those types of people who engage in eternal internet debates are for those who believe there is an argument to win or for someone's self-feeding ego purposes.  Eegads! And Holy Doritos, even!

I can't, in my right mind, call an athlete a hero.  An athlete just doesn't fit the description of hero for me.  They can be considered an inspiration to some people, though.  For those who do the hero worshiping thing toward someone who can run a ball, hit, catch or kick a ball, tackle someone, make a home run, or make a field goal, hit a puck or something akin to anything like this please take your misplaced adulation away from me as quickly as possible or I'll violently retch the contents of the little TV dinner I had this morning.  I'll aim for your shoes, too, right through my magical computer monitor.  The little frozen piece-of-crap dinner, I had, earlier,consisted of some type of meat, smothered with orange-y cheese.  Please, no dick jokes.  I'm running a monastery here, not a blog, for crying out quietly- instead of loudly. (singing) "Ohhhhh holy night, the cows are slurping upon dick cheese..."  Oops... I better add a smiley face to note I'm joking about the monastery bit.  Hopefully, I'm not too late..  :)  There now.  All better, right?

Note: Misdirection infused with humor is a useful tool to avoid endless debate.

Example:  Person One might say, "Why do you always leave the dishes in the sink for more than one and three quarters of an hour when you can put them in the dishwasher?"

Person Two might reply, "Do you think that spot on your back I noticed the other day might lead to something or be the symptom of something... like a disease?"

Then, if it works out, Person One will ask for more details about the spot or try checking it with two mirrors.  You can imagine how that works, right?.  We've all done the mirror trick.  No penis jokes, please.  Or, if you're really lucky, they'll ask you to apply some kind of ointment on the spot.  That's when you use gasoline, a lighter and maybe a rag on their back.  But be careful! You don't want to be burned, after all.  Anyway, the argument or debate may be averted when they are on fire and pushed off the balcony or into a deep hole in the ground.

Unfortunately, you can't do this on the Internet but you can use diversion techniques, with type written words- which are either subtle, shocking or somewhere in the middle.  You can think of something, I'm sure.  Have you ever poured yourself a cup of tea or coffee and try sweetening the tea or coffee while talking to someone on the phone?         

Maybe athletes, good teachers, certainly, parents or an intriguing spokesperson inspire others to do better or improve themselves in many ways.  They could inspire you to get fit, gain confidence, perhaps, view situations as an advantage and that's just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.  They can also help you change your perspective for your own personal growth during your lifetime.  Who knows?  There are, obviously, other examples of people I'm not mentioning.  But I can't, for the life of me, bring myself to call them a hero.

Being a rambler when I write, I have to control myself.  If I come up with more than the allotted examples, in this case, my blog license will be revoked.

Personally, for me, however, there are people who, accordingly, could be classified, often, as "those who inspire."  Like Gandhi or Buddha.  Excellent examples.

Isn't it odd how people who inspire peace or love are always getting executed in the history of the Human race?  Nah, we're certainly keeping up with our rapidly increasing technology with our ability to empathize and care for our fellow citizens.  Right?  I need to take a look outside and dream of elves, riding sparkling unicorns right about now.

George Carlin and Kurt Vonnegut have inspired me to think in comedic but honest terms.  I've listened to every word from George Carlin, on albums, his books and in HBO specials and have greatly appreciated his truth and honesty and have laughed until I'm breathless while enjoying the truth of what he has said.  I've read and re-read Kurt Vonnegut's books like Breakfast of Champions and Slaughterhouse Five and all the rest he's written (got his whole collection) and I've gained wisdom from his unique prose while having my laughs and deeper thoughts, all the while. I don't base all of my personal beliefs on what they have said, but they definitely have inspired me.  Infusing humor and honesty.  They are natural partners and can be easily swallowed in one or two gulps.  No need to say what you were thinking there.  You're naughty!

Also:  Don't allow me to go into a bookstore!  I've lived in one for four days and dined on overpriced coffee, hard cookies and crappy paperbacks.

True Meaning of What I've Just Said:  I read a lot.

The band, Rush, are a progressive rock band that have been around for 44 years.  Yeah, that's when they formed.  In 1968.  They had some popular hits in the past but for some strange reason, they're still too underrated in my book.  In my book of those have inspired me, the members of Rush, who are Alex Lifeson, Neil Peart and Geddy Lee should be put right up there with the Beatles.  That's my opinion.  Don't set me afire!  Their lyrics to their songs are absolutely meaningful, the drumming by Peart is powerful and masterful and the guitar work by Geddy and Lifeson is too artistic too describe.  Plus, Geddy's singing has only improved over the years, too.  For some people, his singing was/is off-putting.  But not to me.



My Aunt Kay bought me the DVD, Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage for my birthday, around October.  It's an amazing, in-depth look at their beginnings, their challenges the group has faced, how they define or not define their music and the mechanics behind how they've stayed together for so long.  Even if I wasn't a Rush fan, I'd find it especially interesting.  Early concert footage of the band on the DVD is very cool and gratifying, too.

I love Led Zeppelin, too, for the same reasons and they inspire me.  Another big influence or inspiration would be Pink Floyd and then you have Queens of the Stone Age and on and on and on.  I could name so many bands you would want to break my fingers or something.  What are you doing with the Molotov cocktail in your hand?  Are you about to set me ablaze?  It's not even Christmas yet!  And I won't fit in your oven, either, unless you...

Note: Even your friends or people you see on a daily or weekly basis can inspire you in ways you haven't thought of yet.  Or maybe they already have.  It's happened to me.  I've even refrained from belching at inappropriate times while they babble about.

But, anyway, yeah, when you think of your heroes and inspirations and the whole notion of those ideas and how others perceive their own- or not- it's something worth thinking about- until we've run amok with chickens as the Mayans predicted what would happen during the End of Days.   

Hawaiian Adventure: Evening Sky and Oddities Found in Hawaii

Hey there, everyone!

Remember me?  Yeah, it's been awhile.  I was absent from the world of blogging because my wife and I were on a cruise in Hawaii from the 29th of September through October 6th.  I've been recuperating and getting things back in order ever since.

The first day and night was, during our adventure, September 28th, and all about flying for 10 hours on two different flights to Hawaii and staying at the Marriott Hotel in Honolulu.  Our first flight was from Cincinnati.  The flights going to Hawaii weren't as bad as I thought they were going to be.  I watched two and a half movies on the biggest plane that had seven seats going across each row (one of them was Prometheus- which I liked) while my wife read a book on Steven Tyler.  The 2nd plane, on our second flight we had to take, was in Utah.  The Salt Lake City airport is tiny compared to the airports in Honolulu and Cincinnati, where we joyously we ended up, with only a little turbulence, experienced, during the long flights.

The Marriott Hotel offered us some great views of Waikiki beach in Honolulu.  We stayed there our first day and night before boarding our cruise ship, Pride of America, the next day. Staying at this 4 star hotel on the 19th floor gave us a breather and a chance to look around Honolulu before we started our 7 day cruise, the next day.  There was an incredible 33 floors to this hotel.  It was pretty friggin' big but some buildings in Honolulu stood taller.

Honolulu is a very busy place with a lot to see.  Tattoo parlors, bars, malls, small mom and pop stores, crazy traffic, a melting pot of people, surfers carrying surfboards and a beach that makes you feel as if you're dreaming.  My wife and I loved it.

We took walks along Waikiki beach, enjoying the water and talking to people and being invigorated by the beautiful scenery.

We had an awesome, entertaining time on our cruise and on five different islands in Hawaii.  I will be doing a series of posts of our time spent in Hawaii and on our cruise ship.  Events and places I write about won't be in any particular order.  I'll just be talking about this or that.  I'll be mixing it up and going crazy with it.  Lol.

Note:  I spent my birthday in Hawaii, during our cruise and island time.  How cool and great is that for a gift?

I'd like to show you this poem.  I wrote this during our time spent at the airport, in Honolulu, before coming back home.  I was almost completely exhausted, beyond repair, when I wrote this, but I was inspired by a particular picture I took during our cruise.  I took it as I stood on our balcony, outside our stateroom cabin on the ship.  I felt at such magnificent peace.

This poem is called "Evening Sky"

EVENING SKY

Hello
Goodbye
I say to the evening sky
Tomorrow will come
With what it decides

Some will make what
Seems to be mistakes
While others will see and take lessons
That they might embrace

I see and feel the peace that affects anyone of us
The Hawaiian atmosphere offers locales, beauty and kind people
You can't help but feel blessed

Walk
Run
Or be still

Take in the nature
That surrounds you in joyous or troubled times
Embrace the peace that takes care of you
While you stand, walk, run or hide
For a time

Meanwhile, say hello and goodbye
To that unbiased night sky
Tomorrow still comes
As you let those thoughts fly

I took this shot while standing on the top deck of our cruise ship

Going over the mountains to land in Salt Lake City

Taken from our room at the Marriott hotel in Honolulu.  You can see the ocean and beach from where we stayed.

Waikiki beach, as evening comes

Oddity #1- While we were on one of the Hawaii islands, we found out that there were numerous locations where people were being overrun and annoyed by numerous random chickens and roosters and if you happened to run over one, you had to get out of your vehicle, pick up the chicken, barely alive or dead, to throw it away or eat it.  No joke.  We were told this by a native Hawaiian man.  It was a law or something.

Oddity #2- My wife and I, almost continuously, encountered an elderly couple, strangers, that actually lived a few small towns away from our own town, back home, in the mainland.  They were nice and we enjoyed talking to them.  We found it to be such a coincidence that we were staying at the same hotel, going on the same cruise and we had lived so close by to each other in our home state.  That's nearly 4,300 miles away.

Even on the last flight home, we bumped into them again.  His name was John and her name was Connie.  Sometimes we would help each other locate where we had to be or where we wanted to go on the island or on the cruise or at the hotel.  I think we gave each other a sense of comfort and a feeling of contentedness, knowing we were around, off and on, people that were from our home state.  They were likable, helpful, interesting, conversational neighbors during our entire adventure.

Oddity #3- We learned that a lot of their highways on the islands are made partially from lava rock that has been mixed with asphalt.  They make good use of any lava that erupts and pours from volcanoes to build roads, walls that separate the ocean at beaches or property of any kind.

The lava creates new land, in Hawaii, eventually, but it is also used to build roads and walls on many of the islands.

Oddity #4- The Hawaiian word, mahalo, means "thank you" in the English language.  a lot of people will say this word to you if they witness you doing something thoughtful or nice to them or for another reason.  If you mix up the letters of this word just a bit, you can get "malaho", which our native Hawaiian shuttle bus driver, said at one point, meant a male body part (a man's genitals).  I've tried looking this up on the internet, for the hell of it, but can't find it.  Maybe I don't have the exact spelling of it right but that's what he told us.

Probably just fucking around with the tourists that we all were- but it gave us a chuckle, anyway.  A lot of people laughed.  We found everyone, on any of the islands or on the cruise ship, itself, to be friendly.  We talked to people from all around the world.  There especially seemed to be a lot of folks from Australia, the UK or the continent of Asia.  We enjoyed conversing with them about almost anything and learning about their culture and what they were paying for gas for their cars these days.  :)

In conclusion, I don't know if the shuttle bus driver was yanking my 'malaho' or what- but he sternly warned us not to say that dirty word to anyone on the streets on any of the Hawaiian islands or you would get a dirty look.  And maybe even a punch to the nutsack or coochie.  He didn't say that last part but I thought I would, because I care about your safety if you should go to Hawaii for a visit.  :)

Say, "Mahalo, Kelly!"

I'll be continuing this series of blog posts about our time in Hawaii for a short time.  I have posted all the pictures I took (around 530 pics- yeah, I know- WOW, huh?) during our Hawaiian adventure on Facebook, if you're interested.  I will be posting, in the future, more Hawaiian pictures on this blog and on my photo blog, Pics for Kicks, when I have more time.

We're taking over this island.  If you wanna get past me, you're gonna have to kill me and eat my corpse, damn it!

I'll be checking out and commenting on your blogs when I get the time.  It seems my birthday of October 3rd is being celebrated, off and on, this month, with friends and family.  I'll also be spending time with the wife and I'm still trying to put things in order and working on getting things fixed that happened right before our trip. I couldn't do things before our trip because we were busy and financially strapped.  For one thing, we had to buy a new, used car.  The old car broke down for good.  That put a huge dent into our spending money for the trip.

Later, someone ran into the back of our newly purchased car two weeks later where my wife worked.  Nope... no one saw what happened and nope... there are no security cameras aimed at the employee parking lot (how convenient and stupid) and yes, our insurance company will pay for getting it worked on but we still have to pay a five hundred dollar deductible.  Please don't ask any questions about the damage to the "new" car.  I'd rather not talk about it.  It's a thorn in my side or in my mind, actually.

I have a lot of those, of course.  Most are caused by people.  God, I wish I was back in Hawaii, already.  :) I try to picture myself there, nowadays.

Well, guys, that's all I can stand to write- for now.  See ya later, folks!  More fun and craziness to come!

Inclement Weather and Inclement People

I know.  It's like I'm only barely eking out one damned post a month.  Let's just say I've been keeping busy and worrying a lot about personal problems going on in my life and leave it at that.  But then, what else is new, eh?  Would I like to say things are semi-fine or halfway tolerable?  Yep.  I sure would.  You may think me a pessimist or call me an alarmist but, really, I honestly try to bring harmony in my little part of world only have it it crushed, pulverized and throw back in my face like a messy, sticky wad of pre-chewed Goobers.

This is going to have to be one of those times where I don't reveal what's happening in my personal life right now.  To recall it and write it in any kind of half-attempted detail here would only send me to the Community Mental Health Center.  Let's put it this way: I almost checked myself into such a place, yesterday and people who don't suffer from severe anxiety disorder or depression might have had the same thought cross their minds if they had gone through what I've gone through this week.  It's enough to make you (actually me) wish that The Grand Joke of Life that sometimes plagues the continuously unfortunate would just take a big ol' hammer, whack one in the head and get it over with.  Ha. Ha.  Gosh, I'm quite the kidder.  Let's just say that and move on, shall we?

Speaking of Goobers... Look!  There's Goober!  He's with Andy!  I wonder what tune Andy was playing?  It was probably something lighthearted and something that made sense.  Kind of like the opposite behavior of the people we have running around the world today.  Btw, Andy Griffith died not too long ago.  Don't ask me about Goober, though.  I don't know if he's down in the dirt and food for maggots or what. The last I heard, he joined a circus that was demon- owned that had crazed clown midgets and hell hounds running the show.   Hey, that reminds me of a story I wrote about a month ago!  How about that?  

But anyway...

I will say that the only reason I'm able to write this post is because the temperature has gone down to a nearly tolerable level in this part of the apartment and I rigged a gate, an old window screen, to be exact, to keep the new kitten from jumping around and eating my electrical wiring.  Plus, some of the problems that were taking hold of my sanity have quelled enough to a point where I can put a sentence together with my keyboard without foaming at the mouth and pissing my pants.

Damn.  People are getting are crazier by the day.  Every once in awhile, I'll create some crazy assed story  or comment on some crazy assed piece of news that's going on in the world but I tell you what, folks.  The true life stories that are going on these days put my own fictional or incredibly real tales to shame, or at the very least, seem lame by comparison.

The whack job that went into the Colorado Theater and shot 71 people, wearing a costume or something, while everyone was attempting to watch the new Batman flick is just one of many signs this country is plain nutty.  I would say he's inclement.  You never hear that word, describing insane or unfeeling people much, but I'd say it's time for a new word to describe cruel or apathetic people.  People use this word to describe the weather these days but I would cheerfully give up this word to be associated with this fucker.

Insanity and cruelty must be bliss- for this guy.  His creepy-as-fuck smile says a lot.    

Speaking of inclement weather... what's going on here?  Non-stop floods and rain in the United Kingdom and over here, in the U.S., we have severe droughts and non-stop 100 degree temperatures nearly every day.  In other parts of the world, they're having "opposite weather" of what they're supposed to be having this time of year, as well.  And it's all being dealt out in heavy doses, causing anguish upon almost everyone that I've interacted with or read about. It's like the weather is mimicking the world's fucked up economy, violent state and it's loony people.  Or it's the other way around.

And let's not forget the cannibal dude who ate the homeless man's face, either, awhile back.  This guy didn't even stop eating this poor man's face as he was being shot and told not to eat the victim's face.

You would think that maybe the guy on the right was...uh....  kinda nutty.  Nope, it's the guy on the left that eats human flesh.  Whatever you do, don't hunt for the picture on the net, provided you haven't seen it, already, of the homeless guy's "face" after the cannibal dude gobbled most of it up like a kid at the fair with a stick full of cotton candy.   Or a handful of Goobers.  That picture of the homeless guy, after the cannibals handiwork, had me close to puking.  And that, my friends, is pretty bad if you can make me sick.

Personally, I don't understand it all.  The fucked up economy, the crazy people, the inclement weather, thinly veiled wars that are actually about greed and power, the messed up priorities of politicians and inclement DICKtators around the world and everything else I'm leaving out- but I'm sure you've seen on the Internet, newspapers or TV- it's really oddly coincidental that it's happening in such a short span of time.

George Carlin was a very wise, witty and humorous comedian and author.  R.I.P.  He's one of my heroes, actually, along with Kurt Vonnegut.  They really understood human nature.  They weren't shy about speaking their minds and being honest and direct.  Those are characteristics I mentally applaud about people who unabashedly exhibit them.  I hold both of the mentioned authors, who were realists and humorists, in very high regard.  I'm rather proud to say I own all of George's albums and books and I can say that I own most of the masterpieces that Kurt Vonnegut penned during his life.

My point is, is that George said, more than once, "When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show.  When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."  Wow.  The more time passes during my own era, the more truer and relevant that becomes, George.  And it seems the rest of the world is trying to shake off the fleas (the humans) more so than usual with rampant floods, death-bearing heat, earthquakes and so on.



I truly feel for the victims of those who have been shot and killed in senseless shootings, wars and so on.  I also feel for those living in poverty, never knowing a life where food is plentiful and healthcare is there to benefit them.

I guess when there are people that still feel and aren't apathetic to those around them, there is still hope.  There are days when I try to hold tight to that idea.  Some days, it's harder to do that than others.  But let's all try!  And let's all try to be better human beings and feel something humane for our own species.  At this rate, I have to admit, it feels as though we're quickly spiraling down the drain of history. 

The Calm After The Storm

I don't know if you read or heard about the dozens of tornadoes that tore through the states of Alabama, Indiana, Kentucky and Ohio.  The string of massive tornado-producing thunderstorms ended up killing 37 people and caused so much devastation that people had lost hundreds of their homes and countless businesses and other structures.  What makes this a close subject to my heart is the fact that several of these tornadoes came dangerously close to me, my family and friends and killed a good many of the people in the general area, where I live.

You can click this link for a large part of what happened exactly, here, and other states.

It was so bad, the National Guard were called in to help out, clear debris and keep spectators away from the havoc-stricken towns.

Some of these real life horror stories I've known for some time now.  But there are a few that I didn't find out until today.  Like the grandmother who had closed herself off in her closet for fear of being wiped out by an oncoming tornado that day.  The tornado passed by her house, luckily but she was found in that closet four days later, dead from dehydration.  I'm not sure if she couldn't get out or that she stayed in the closet for fear of her life.  You would think, after a couple hours or a day, at the most, she would have left.  Maybe she was disabled, mentally or physically.

But it does make you think.  Death can come to you at any time and in ways you least suspect.  I don't fret about this aspect of life much or hardly at all but I think young people, who often believe themselves to be somewhat invulnerable, should give it some thought.

There's also the story of a toddler that miraculously stayed alive after it's entire family was killed by a tornado.  The house it lived in was obliterated, as well.  It was critically injured and taken to the hospital.  It lived for several days until it, too, died from injuries from one of the destructive tornadoes.

What is inspiring is that though the tornadoes killed over three dozen people and caused so much devastation, people everywhere volunteered to help.  A lot of businesses and churches, of course, collected donations from people empathizing with the plight and tragedy of those dishearteningly affected.  I feel sorry for people in life-shattering situations.  The Japan and Haiti tsunami /earthquake victims, for instance.

But people came to help out in those incidents, as well.  Sometimes it's easy to forget the good in people.  The media doesn't make it any easier.  But they do report the good that people do every so often.  They should promote those stories more often but we all know, according to them, that misery sells.

I went to one of my favorite parks the other day, after the onslaught of tornadoes the day before, with a friend.  We drove around and I got some nice shots and a few videos with my new digital camera.  I've included a video and various photos there of that day.  While there, I thought, So this is the calm after the storm.  You could feel the analogy and see the analogy, simultaneously.

a ray of light such as this is like a ray of hope or a scene that induces relief within

If this isn't a scene of peace and serenity, I don't know what is.  Check out my video of the park dam below.  You can really hear the wind blowing hard that day.  But when you see the sun trying to and succeeding in getting through those clouds and you listen to the water, it can soothe you.  Nature, I believe, and as I've pointed out before, is a true doctor and nurturer of your spirit, at times.

I took this shot because I thought it looked cool.

Some time ago, I took my digital camera and took several short videos of my daily walk through the park I usually go through every day.  The pictures above are scenes of a state park.  I would gladly walk through that particular park every day if I lived closer to it.  But my walks in my nearby park are usually quiet, enjoyable, filled with beautiful scenery and without any disturbances- unless some asshole brings a large, unleashed dog as you're trying to walk along back to the safety of your vehicle or park bathroom before it tears off a chunk of your thigh or worse.  Lol.

You'll hear a lot of wind in these videos and you'll also note that while I'm filming, I'm also walking (so you kind of feel like you're walking with me- that's the whole idea) and maybe you'll hear me breathing a little hard.  Ya gotta remember folks:  My footsies are deformed (inoperable heel spurs, enuinos foot deformity, and foot neuropathy).  That means I kind of walk "funny."  And yes, for those ready to give me unsolicited advice, I already do what I can to lessen the pain and other shit.  This has been with me for decades so I'm an old veteran of such shit.  I was bullied for that "funny walking" crap, among other things, when I was a kid.  As you may or may not know, that bullying crap leaves scars in your psyche- but it can also make you stronger, of course.  That's an issue I plan on writing about someday but not today.

Plus, I'll mention here that I have high blood pressure, along with diabetes, so it might explain the heavy breathing part you hear throughout the videos.  Please, no gratuitous sexual innuendo/joke needed here- unless it's funny enough.  :)  I figure somebody who can have as sick as sense of humor I can have will say something.  You're welcome to it.  :)

And yes, I'm doing what I can about those other previously mentioned maladies, too.  High BP and type 2 diabetes and so on AND SO FORTH.  No lectures.  I believe I'll take this meaningful moment to scratch my ass and go on.

But I get through it all.  I've learned to deal with it like I've had to deal with my Major Depressive disorder.

In any case, I get through my daily walks, stopping every so often from some pain and I get to look at peaceful, stress lessening scenes like the videos show below.  Enjoy the serenity.  Take a walk with me.





I come down to this part of the park, often.  I'll sit in the gazebo, sometimes and contemplate ideas, feelings and just enjoy the atmosphere.

You know, no matter what destructive or painful events happen in your life or the lives of others, there always seems to be that ray of light or that calm after the storm.  Take care, folks.  Just as importantly taking care of yourself and other folks in need, try to gain wisdom from other's experiences through reading and learning about them and gain strength from those experiences when you can.

Now look who's lecturing!  Hahaha.

Ooops.  I forgot to include the Venison Stew recipe I promised to give last time.  Oh well.  Next time.  Bambi is dandy in a stew.  Have I said that before?

Adventures While Camping at The Gorge (Part Three)

For PART ONE and PART TWO of this series, click the links.

As I've mentioned before, there are some rough trails at Red River Gorge. No doubt about it. Take this photo, for instance. It shows a typical example of what a challenging trail would be like.

See the tree roots halfway embedded in the ground? Those are great fun to trip over when you're exhausted or half drunk or both.

We ate pretty good during our camping trip at The Gorge. Steve cooked most of the food while I watched him do it. He was my cook bitch. But don't tell him I said that. On this night we had grilled deer steak. And no, those aren't maggots on the meat in the picture below. They're some kind of spice/seeds that I can't think of the name of, at the moment. My friend wanted to use this on the meat to tame a little of the gamey flavor that deer tends to have.

It didn't matter to me. I can eat venison in any shape or form, with spices or without. I'm a true carnivore, damn it! If I'm hungry enough, I'll eat the balls off a bison as he's taking a leak. Wait! Not while he's pissing! I'll wait til he's fast asleep and then I'll chow down on his gamey jewels. He shouldn't wake up. Nah!

Speaking of balls, have you ever tried Rocky Mountain Oysters? Yum is the word.

We would take a breather, every so often along the trails and rest our poor saggy old asses on the natural rock formations, enjoying the inviting beauty and calm of Mother Nature. I really needed to go on this camping trip last September. I was going through some emotional calamity involving my father or wife during this time (I forget what it was, exactly) and this experience helped to bring peace and perspective to my life. It was terrific therapy for yours truly. Plus, it was crazy fun.

During the course of our adventures at The Gorge, we imbibed in adult beverages. Hard to believe, eh? In the following picture, you'll see that I am exploring my creative side by producing a talk show I put together with stuff I found on the forest ground. Enjoy, won't you?

Further exploring both our creative sides, we go to the amphitheater to put on short skits and musicals for one another while completely fucked up. I have videos of our creative masterpieces and I must say... they're really quite embarrassing- even by my standards. Luckily, no one was around and the amphitheater is pretty well hidden in the forest.

All in all, we had a fun, relaxing and invigorating time at The Gorge. If you really ever want to truly get away from the noise of the city or craziness in your life, I would suggest going here or a rustic and primitive locale similar to this. It's like a gift for your mind and spirit and it does wonders for your emotional well being. I know it does for me.

And now our journey ends. I hope you enjoyed the jaunty tour and I hope you're able to get away from it all, someday and experience the wonders of nature in all of it's uplifting glory.

Later, dudes and dudettes.

Earth Day: We Must Realize It's Our Only Home

There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth. We are all crew. ~Marshall McLuhan, 1964

There is hope if people will begin to awaken that spiritual part of themselves, that heartfelt knowledge that we are caretakers of this planet.

-Brooke Medicine Eagle

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,

For strip-mined mountain’s majesty above the asphalt plain.

America, America, man sheds his waste on thee,

And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.

-George Carlin

Man must feel the earth to know himself and recognize his values.... God made life simple. It is man who complicates it. ~Charles A. Lindbergh, Reader's Digest, July 1972

I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority. ~Elwyn Brooks White, Essays of E.B. White, 1977

A living planet is a much more complex metaphor for deity than just a bigger father with a bigger fist. If an omniscient, all-powerful Dad ignores your prayers, it's taken personally. Hear only silence long enough, and you start wondering about his power. His fairness. His very existence. But if a world mother doesn't reply, Her excuse is simple. She never claimed conceited omnipotence. She has countless others clinging to her apron strings, including myriad species unable to speak for themselves. To Her elder offspring She says - go raid the fridge. Go play outside. Go get a job. Or, better yet, lend me a hand. I have no time for idle whining. ~David Brin

I think the environment should be put in the category of our national security. Defense of our resources is just as important as defense abroad. Otherwise, what is there to defend?

-Robert Redford

Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect. ~Chief Seattle, 1855

After a visit to the beach, it's hard to believe that we live in a material world. ~Pam Shaw

Humanity is on the march, earth itself is left behind. ~David Ehrenfeld, The Arrogance of Humanism, 1978

Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money. ~Cree Indian Proverb

We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if mankind is to survive.

-Albert Einstein

You Are An Inspiration Award

I have been honored with yet another award to add to my already bulging trophy case. This time, it's from Gary, the blog author of the wonderfully inspirational blog, klahanie. Thank you, Gary. Not only does the man write uplifting, positive posts, but he writes in many different genres ranging from the humorous to the serious and everything in between. If, by some miracle, you haven't checked out Gary's stupendous blog yet, you should do yourself a favor and do so... right after you get done here. :)

As always, there are rules that seem to go with blog awards and, as usual, I go along with the ones I want to follow. Here are the rules:

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded this to you.

2. Link posts by you and ten fellow bloggers that you find inspirational.

3. Forward the award to those ten fellow bloggers.

Number one- done and done.

Number two (part 1)-

I'll name 4 posts I've done in the past that I think would qualify as inspirational. I know I've done more inspirational posts than this but it would take me quite a long time to go through more than the 400 posts I've done so far.

Of course, "inspirational" is a matter of perception because some folks will either be inspired by what you've written or say, "meh" to it and would rather watch two flies fuck on a steaming turd.

If it were up to me, I'd have you check these 4 posts out, for true inspiration, in no particular order. I think they were among my best as far as being inspirational is concerned.

Always Look On The Bright Side of Life

Nonconformists

Sorry If I've Caused Concern- Part 3

Man Quits Job To Realize Dream

Number two (part 2)-

I'm going to pass this award onto 3 deserving bloggers that I've recently gotten to know through their blogs and comments. Each one is inspiring in their own distinct ways and I'm going to leave it up to you to visit their blogs, which I highly recommend, in order for you to see what makes them inspiring.

Here are the three bloggers, their blogs and the links to their posts that I have found immensely enjoyable and inspirational.

1st- Annabelle, from the blog, Don't make it like I'm dumb. Inspiring post: Is the color of your parachute important if the damn thing won't open

2nd- The Minute Man's Wife, from the blog, The Minute Man's Wife. Inspiring post: Hitting Mr. Dog with a Stick

3rd- Billy Pilgrim, from the blog, Enjoy The Moment. Inspiring post: Earth Hour

So there you have it, folks. These are my three picks for this award. For those recipients who have won the award from me, please feel free to take the award and follow whichever of the above rules that meet your satisfaction. As for rule #3, I'm going to let the award recipients know they've been awarded, just in case they don't see this award post amongst the slew and frenzied pace of posts I've been putting up this month of April. :) With the rate I've been hammering them out, lately, there's a 50/50 chance they might miss this one. lol.

Take care, everyone and be sure to check these exemplary blogs out. You won't regret it!

Tag, Bag and Interrogate

Blog pal, Gary, from Klahanie, recently tagged me for a survey. I guess some bloggers would be slightly perturbed by the tagging thing but I'm not. For one, I've had writer's block for awhile now and this gives me the opportunity to write about something. And two, this survey gives me the chance to express my delightful opinions and write about my favorite subject... ME!

God, who can't get enough of sweet, wonderful ME? I'm the darling of the blogging world or something, after all.

Immediately following this question and answer fest, I have "tagged" four other unsuspecting bloggers who will surely thank me and send me gifts that may give off peculiar aromas and stuff. Like Gary, I also have thoughtfully included the 19 survey questions, separately from my given answers, so these lucky bloggers can just cut and paste them onto their own blogs. How convenient! Gosh, I'm better than swell! Anyways, here ya go...

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?

I see my cat, Victor, as an animal and a member of the family, as opposed to seeing him as a furry four legged tea kettle and a member of the United Square Dancers of America organization. Out of all the cats I've had in my 47 years on this rock, and I've had quite a few, I think I regard Victor as a close member of the family because my Mom named him (and really liked him) only months before she passed away. After she died, Victor gave me a lot of comfort just by snuggling up to me or lying on my lap when I was suffering through my deepest depression moments. It seemed to me that he sensed these feelings and still does.

With that said, though, the little bastard will still cross my path in the morning, shortly after getting out of bed, causing me to trip, fall and almost crack my head on the toilet as I attempt to take my morning piss. (More on this important information later)

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

That people would wise up and realize that we're destroying the environment, take real action to find and implement the use of alternative clean sources of energy and stand up for the truth of what's wrong in our society instead of cowering behind excuses to not "make waves" and help resolve the critical issues we face today. I'm not sure you could call that a "dream", however. I would say it's more like a fantasy. Like something akin to a fairy tale involving unicorns being ridden by cross-eyed leprechauns or suddenly seeing a politician do something that wasn't self serving.

3. What is the one thing most hated by you?

Oh shit! I'm only allowed to pick just one? I can't make a list? Well, that doesn't seem fair, so, of course, I'm must break the rules. To name just a few things I hate most, I'll go with:

*Conformity

*Greed

*Racism

*Destruction of the environment

*Sexism

*War

*Lies that do real damage

*Wave after wave of snowstorms

*Stealing

*Texting

*Bullies

*Close mindedness

*The continuous, uninterrupted screeching of undisciplined children

*People who talk about the same old boring things, knowing that they're boring the shit out of you and yet they still keep talking. There was a time I put up with this behaviour. Now, I make up an obvious lame excuse to leave their company or hang up on them. My time is too valuable. If you feel you have to talk that much about nothing, go talk to a wall.

*People who have too many children, without regarding the consequences

*And people who try too hard to give their offspring cutesy, clever and slightly differently spelled popular names in order to give the insinuation that their little rug rats are unique just because of the cutesy and clever name they have bestowed upon them.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

Honestly, I would keep a sizable portion of it for my wife and I and hide a lot of it away. I might go on a trip around the world and buy a new car. I'm not much into owning material things but there are some things we really need. I would also donate a good chunk of it toward finding a real solution to our fossil fuel dependency problem and give the rest to charities. I'm neither a saint or a greedy asshole.

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?

Watching comedy shows like Family Guy, Tosh.O and more. Truly interesting science, documentary or history shows will distract me enough to pull me out of a bad funk. Of course, blogging helps take me out of a bad mood, too. Interacting with friends. Reading an interesting or funny website, book or magazine. Being out in nature gives me peace of mind. Taking pictures. Listening to music. Masturbating furiously to the sounds of raindrops on a tin roof. (Just kidding on the last one). It's actually the sound of an ambulance siren that does it for me.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

I'm not sure how to interpret "more blessed" in this question. I think it's like when you give someone a gift or help someone out. You get something back, regardless if you get a gesture of gratitude or not, in return. It makes you feel great, or, at least it should. Loving someone is like this but on a higher level. With that said, though, I think feeling that you are truly loved by the one you love is even more remarkable, if you want to make comparisons.

7. What is your bedtime routine?

This is funny because I sort of went over this in a post not long ago. To start with, I'll take my medication. Eat a little food. Give myself an insulin shot. Pack my wife's lunch that she takes to work in the morning. Make one last trip to the shitter to pee or make poopie. Head to the bedroom. Strip completely naked. (are you becoming aroused?) Then slide beneath the sheets. Turn over, stomach side down. Then sleep, snore and fart while my wife does the same. Strangely enough, the cat likes to jump on the bed and sleep right between our asses in the middle of the night. So far, he hasn't passed out or died.

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?

I informally met my wife of 21 years while I was up in a tree with my cousin and sister, giggling and making bizarre animal noises and so forth. Before I go on, I want to point out we weren't having a family orgy or anything like it. We save that for Easter Sunday. Lol. But, I digress. I was 19 or 20 years old at the time. We had climbed up into the tree earlier, talking and making jokes. Not long afterwards, a frozen foods delivery guy pulls up into my parents driveway to either make a delivery or take an order. Hidden behind all the tree limbs and leaves we decide to prank him by making all types of strange noises. Meanwhile, the guy is looking all around the front yard and the rest of the neighborhood, wondering where the hell the sounds are coming from and what the hell is making them. About that time, my future wife is taking a stroll with her mother down the street that's close by to the tree we're sitting in. I can hear her asking her mom, "What is that?" We all laugh and quickly become quiet when they direct their eyes toward the tree. They slow down, shake their heads and continue heading down the street but before they get too far from earshot, I shout, "Helloooooo!".

I'm sure she and her mother thought we were a bunch of morons or nut jobs. And it's true, we were. Our family definitely has a strange sense of humor. I formally met my wife years later where I worked. Not long after that, we began dating. Somewhere during the dating period, I impressed the heck out of her with the tree story.

9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?

Right now, I would like to watch the band, Them Crooked Vultures, create music in the studio for another CD.

10. What kinds of books do you read?

An easier question to ask would be, What types of books don't you read? I read almost every genre out there. Science fiction or fact, humor, philosophy, mystery, trivia and more. I made a short list of books I've read in the middle column of this blog. Take a look at the list and you'll get an idea of what types of books I read. I own a small library's worth of books. My favorite author is Kurt Vonnegut. Sadly, he's gone from this world but his words will forever stay true, profound and meaningful. His words are his greatest legacy. Vonnegut said a lot with what people would perhaps call "a sardonic sense of humor". He and a few unique others have inspired me in my viewpoints and writing throughout my life.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?

I would like to move out of this area and somewhere it stays warm all year round. Beyond that, I can't say how I see myself in even one year's time. These days, my life seems to be pushed and shoved in directions dictated by the forces of family obligations and aggravations. If any of these worries were to be resolved or decreased, I would be better equipped to focus solely on my life with my wife.

12. What’s your fear?

My wife, dying before me. Cheery, aren't I? Other than that, I don't fear a whole lot anymore. I've been numbed, to a large degree, by outrageous things that have happened in the past.

13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?

Yes, I would give up all junk food to go into space. Seeing the Earth, the Moon, the stars and everything else out there would be the ultimate experience of a lifetime. Not only would I give up countless cans of peanuts but I'd give my right bulbous nut up for the chance. Yes, sir.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor?

I look at rich, yet single people with a certain pity. Especially the ones that just endlessly have one fling after another. It would be fun for awhile, but God, what a void to have in your life!

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Ahh, I'm so glad we got around to this one. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I attempt to get out of the bed, with only slant consciousness, to make my stumbling way toward the bathroom without being tripped by my loving cat. After taking (or leaving, rather) a shit, I make myself a pot of coffee, eat, drink, watch the morning news, become agitated by what I see, slowly begin to regain consciousness and come in here to play, seek and blog on the ol' computer. Approximately a half hour to an hour, after this routine, will pass before I completely wake up. Speaking to me before this time would be a severe risk to your life and happiness.

16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?

It's been said that my wife talks a lot. That's an understatement. She never stops talking. Hope she never reads this! My wife will stop in public and talk to a perfect stranger for a lengthy period of time about anything and everything. She's very people-friendly. I, on the other hand, have been told that I'm relatively quiet, unless there's something I feel that's important or humorous enough to talk about. In comparison to her and likely a lot of people, I'm an anti-social bastard. And that's true, to a certain degree. One thing I could change about her? Maybe to talk a little less. At least to people she doesn't know while we're trying to get from one place to another. One thing she would change about me? That I would talk a little more. Don't get me wrong! I'm open, not shy in the least... just not "talky". I really have to force myself to talk at social gatherings. And yes, I know I would terribly miss "her constant chatter" if she were gone from my life. In conclusion, we complete each other and more importantly, love each other, despite these minor irritations.

17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?

I actually do have another name. MasterHeathen. Say the name, slowly, three times as the sun begins it's decent on the horizon and I will suddenly appear behind you, smiling and with a big sharp knife in my hand. Tee hee. When you turn around, I will cut a delightfully pungent fart and stab you in the eye. Hell, at least we'll have something to talk about. Or we could just go the other way and get nicely wasted. I'm easy.

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?

Honestly, I would forgive in that situation, if asked to, but I would never forget. If, for some reason, you are able to forget a horrible thing that someone special has done to you, you either have the self esteem of an antelope turd or you're in the second or third stages of Alzheimer's disease. There's a world of difference between forgiving and forgetting and forgetting may not be safe or wise for your future welfare in regards to interacting with that "special someone".

19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?

Pizza. You can put pretty much anything you want on a pizza, so you have the food variety thing going on there. Chicken. Pineapple. Bacon. Veggies. And whatever else that "tickles your fancy". That expression sounds so obscene. Pizza is the ultimate variety food.

Here's the survey questions:

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?
2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
3. What is the one thing most hated by you?
4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
7. What is your bedtime routine?
8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?
9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?
10. What kinds of books do you read?
11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
12. What’s your fear?
13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?
14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor?
15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?
17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?

These are the 4 lucky bloggers that I have tagged for this survey... drum roll, please...

LilPixi from It's A Lollipop World

The Wolf from The S.N.A.F.U. Report

Rebecca from The Snee

Greg from The De-evolution of Man

As always in these "taggings", none of the mentioned bloggers should feel pressured to participate in the survey. If you do participate, feel free to answer any way you want and pass the survey along to 4 other bloggers. This is just my way of annoying the shit out of some of my blogging buddies. Hell, somebody has to do it. :)

Caribbean Adventure: Inside My Pirate Ship... Argh!

Well, it isn't an actual pirate ship. More like a cruise ship. Well, really, exactly a cruise ship. Once we got our bearings on what was where on Freedom Of The Seas, it was the middle of the week. That's how long it really took us to find the basic restaurants and theaters and pools and all the important places on the ship. That's how damn big it is.

Exact figures: The ship stands 18 decks (209 ft/63.7m) high. Of those decks, fifteen are for passengers. And it is 1,111.9 ft (338.91 m) in length.

It's a big one.

They called it a floating city and it was really like a huge community of connected people. Everyone was polite to each other. There was never any pushing or shoving during the long lines here and there and everyone was very open to one another about their life outside our cruise, telling details about themselves, laughing and enjoying the company of others.

We didn't meet an unfriendly passenger even once. It was an idyllic atmosphere.

Even I, the social non conformist, pessimist and critic of society as a whole, began getting into the spirit of our community. The mutual friendliness and positive talk of the passengers on the ship drew me in and soon I was talking it up with everyone, too.

I think that when you get a shit load of people inside an enclosed area, out in the middle of a ocean that can be potentially dangerous or unpredictable, everyone senses that and they get gradually insinuated into that attitude of "Well, we're all in this together... Let's try to get along."

But that could be a jaded, no-matter-how-accurate point of view. It could very well be that everyone was just wanting to have a good time and didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that and honestly wanted to meet new people and learn about them. I'm pretty certain no one wanted a scenario like you would find on a real pirate ship, where there could be sword fights and heads coming off and rolling on the upper deck and falling into one of the highly chlorinated swimming pools. Although, that would be kind of cool to see if you were watching at a safe distance and had the sufficient weaponry and ammo to protect yourself.

Check out these photos of the interior of the ship.....

What the hell! A mermaid coming out from the Promenade ceiling. She looks a little stoned. Or frightened.... because she's dangling in the air by a water foam turd. You choose.

Glass elevators going so far up they reach the planes up in the air.

Just one small section of the Promenade. Everything was lit up that night for Formal Night.

I do not know why there is a car in the middle of the busiest floor on the deck. And I don't know why it's first name is Morgan. Is he a cousin to Herbie The Love Bug, perhaps?

CheeseHead, sculpted from a big block of cheese, resides in the Windjammer Cafe.

If you were lost (which would happen a lot) and lucky (which would not happen as often) you could find one of these on a ship deck to sort of give you the direction you needed to go.

This was our Ocean View Balcony Stateroom. It was quite nice to be able to sit out on the balcony and enjoy your very own private, quiet view of the ocean. It was beneficial to my peace of mind. A took a lot of photos of islands, sunsets and the ocean from the balcony.

Look closely and you'll see one of many towel animals that our stateroom attendant made for us every night. This night it was a dog, made entirely of towels. They would do these for every passenger cabin on the ship.

A swan

And with this monkey, my wife thought it needed a banana because the poor thing was without a goddamn dick.

And here we are, at the Windjammer cafe, eating our 20th meal of the day. Of course, I'm exaggerating about that figure but it does seem you eat a lot more on a cruise more than pretty much anywhere else. The food was great here, as it was in the Jade Cafe and Cafe Promenade.

Our server, Gabrielle, was nice enough to take this picture of us. I think it's a pretty good shot, myself.