Monday, May 11, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Happy Lucky Pig Rise Above United States Culture of Fear
(submitted by my sister)
That was my performance art captured digitally. I call it "Happy Lucky Pig Rise Above United States Culture of Fear". I don't know if that is a good caption. You can print whatever of this that you like, or edit it.
If anyone watches some videos or does some reading about where our food comes from--not just the meat--there's some f*ckin' messed up stuff being done to fruits, vegetables & grains, too... anyway, if you think about the "lifestyle" of the average hog, is it any wonder that they could become diseased. If John Wayne Gacy heard about the conditions of a U.S. poultry "farm", he'd pull his penis from the eye-socket of his most recent victim and wag his finger in disgust.
B.T.W., I think it's so odd when I hear something about pigs eating their own poop or sleeping in it. No they don't. Maybe if they are encased in a metal cage w/ not an inch in which to move around. How many times have you ever stepped in Ginger poo? Never. And neither has he. That's because he goes out of his way to do it away from everyone because he's allowed to, um, walk. (Also, he's never licked his nethers. Granted, he can't, but I just like to mention it.) Hear about the guy in Canada who gave Swine Flu to his hogs? One of my naughty friends was musing about just how the virus might have been transmitted from the man to his piggy. Bad, bad thoughts. If I ever infect my pig w/ cooties, I will hang my head in shame. In my county that kind of news would be head-line worthy to say the least.
Pussy Galore
The Princess Chlamydia
Let's talk about pleasant subject matter today, shall we?
Her name is Chlamydia. She was a beautiful girl, she was. Blond hair. Blue eyes. Lickable rosy cheeks. Eh.... anyway.... Chlamydia was more than just a princess to the denizens of her shimmering city. They believed she was a genuine blessing. Everyone had plenty of food, shelter and entertainment. Everyone was happy and were charmed by her outward character. But what her adoring fans didn't know, was that Chlamydia had an ugly side. Her pride being her sin, the young princess often gloated to her lady servants and anyone else with ears about her bewitching beauty and charm.
At times, she would hear her servants mocking her from behind closed doors. Chlamydia would come in abruptly with the guards and have them taken into the dungeon where she would often scold them with a swift whipping. Strangely, some of ladies rather enjoyed it. But you didn't hear that from me.
One evening, Chlamydia took a secret walk into the garden area. Soon, she thought, my lover will meet me and we will be free to-
Suddenly, a creature popped out of the shrubbery. It was almost human, though it's pasty white form was covered with strange oozing sores, pustules and patchy hair on it's unclothed body. Chlamydia blinked, gripped by shock and unable to trust her sight. The hideous creature screamed, "I am the demon, Howardsternizzalameass!" Then he raised his bleeding arms, releasing a foul aroma that caused the red roses, surrounding them, to wither and die. Curious vermin went blind.
Chlamydia tried to say something that would deter the creature from attacking her, but before she could, the creature rushed at the princess, grabbed her petite waist and pushed his slimy tongue deep down her throat. An infected bubble of mucous and blood popped against her tongue. Vomit burbled up her throat as she felt his thick, lumpy tongue writhing around inside her mouth. The demon chuckled to himself, tasting her puke and relished it's flavor, sensing she previously had a meal that contained peas, onions and tomato paste.
After minutes of violating her tonsils, Howardsternizzalameass withdrew his tongue from Chlamydia's mouth and stepped back. "So how was that for ya, princess? Pretty good, huh?" asked the demon.
Chlamydia, bent over a small shrub, finished retching her supper upon the nearby lillies and paused a moment before straightening back up. The princess wiped some bile off her lips and said, "You disgust me, you sick, ugly thing!" The demon heard this and became frantic with rage. Fire shot out from his fingertips towards the ground! Wondrously, a toad appeared. The toad was also covered with many infected sores. Many were bleeding, profusely.
The toad said, "Croak." Not much, did he say after that.
The demon smiled and then announced, "This is my pet, Garydellajailbatemus. There are some in my dark realm who call him "The Producer".
Chlamydia asked, "What does it produce?"
"This," answered the demon. The demon pointed toward the nether regions of the princess. Suddenly, she felt something jumping around inside her. She moaned a bit and let loose a magical queef. Then a moment passed and the toad was gone.
Later, Chlamydia found out she had been cursed by the demon. One morning she woke to realize she had bloody, pustulating sores all over her body. The citizens, from then on, found her repulsive and not worthy of their worship. As a result, they gathered round, feasted with gusto and had a delightful festival with dancing clowns and talented musicians before burning the princess at the stake for being ugly and diseased. A few had sex with her, beforehand, just to say they did it with a princess once and then later became infected and spread the disease throughout the country and then the entire world.
And that, my friends, is the dandy end.
Her name is Chlamydia. She was a beautiful girl, she was. Blond hair. Blue eyes. Lickable rosy cheeks. Eh.... anyway.... Chlamydia was more than just a princess to the denizens of her shimmering city. They believed she was a genuine blessing. Everyone had plenty of food, shelter and entertainment. Everyone was happy and were charmed by her outward character. But what her adoring fans didn't know, was that Chlamydia had an ugly side. Her pride being her sin, the young princess often gloated to her lady servants and anyone else with ears about her bewitching beauty and charm.
At times, she would hear her servants mocking her from behind closed doors. Chlamydia would come in abruptly with the guards and have them taken into the dungeon where she would often scold them with a swift whipping. Strangely, some of ladies rather enjoyed it. But you didn't hear that from me.
One evening, Chlamydia took a secret walk into the garden area. Soon, she thought, my lover will meet me and we will be free to-
Suddenly, a creature popped out of the shrubbery. It was almost human, though it's pasty white form was covered with strange oozing sores, pustules and patchy hair on it's unclothed body. Chlamydia blinked, gripped by shock and unable to trust her sight. The hideous creature screamed, "I am the demon, Howardsternizzalameass!" Then he raised his bleeding arms, releasing a foul aroma that caused the red roses, surrounding them, to wither and die. Curious vermin went blind.
Chlamydia tried to say something that would deter the creature from attacking her, but before she could, the creature rushed at the princess, grabbed her petite waist and pushed his slimy tongue deep down her throat. An infected bubble of mucous and blood popped against her tongue. Vomit burbled up her throat as she felt his thick, lumpy tongue writhing around inside her mouth. The demon chuckled to himself, tasting her puke and relished it's flavor, sensing she previously had a meal that contained peas, onions and tomato paste.
After minutes of violating her tonsils, Howardsternizzalameass withdrew his tongue from Chlamydia's mouth and stepped back. "So how was that for ya, princess? Pretty good, huh?" asked the demon.
Chlamydia, bent over a small shrub, finished retching her supper upon the nearby lillies and paused a moment before straightening back up. The princess wiped some bile off her lips and said, "You disgust me, you sick, ugly thing!" The demon heard this and became frantic with rage. Fire shot out from his fingertips towards the ground! Wondrously, a toad appeared. The toad was also covered with many infected sores. Many were bleeding, profusely.
The toad said, "Croak." Not much, did he say after that.
The demon smiled and then announced, "This is my pet, Garydellajailbatemus. There are some in my dark realm who call him "The Producer".
Chlamydia asked, "What does it produce?"
"This," answered the demon. The demon pointed toward the nether regions of the princess. Suddenly, she felt something jumping around inside her. She moaned a bit and let loose a magical queef. Then a moment passed and the toad was gone.
Later, Chlamydia found out she had been cursed by the demon. One morning she woke to realize she had bloody, pustulating sores all over her body. The citizens, from then on, found her repulsive and not worthy of their worship. As a result, they gathered round, feasted with gusto and had a delightful festival with dancing clowns and talented musicians before burning the princess at the stake for being ugly and diseased. A few had sex with her, beforehand, just to say they did it with a princess once and then later became infected and spread the disease throughout the country and then the entire world.
And that, my friends, is the dandy end.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Media Provides New Mass Hysteria
You can always count on the tv news, Internet and newspapers to work their usual redundancy on one or two topics, for however long, until they catch on that the viewers/readers are getting bored with it and then they move on to the next thing to hype. Hell, if they're not trying to scare us with the possibility of a hacker attacking our power grids, it's a flu epidemic or the latest tiny tidbit about the recession.
The World Health Organization (WHO) has come out with the news that they're going to change the name of swine flu to something else. It seems folks around the world are panicking from all the media hype and killing off all the pigs for fear of getting the flu. Dumbasses. The brand new name for it is influenza A(H1N1). Thanks, I feel much better now.
Who knows? Maybe this swine flu really will turn out to be fatal for the masses. But until then, when I see some real numbers, I refuse to give a shit. Don't give me this 6 dead here or 1 with the sniffles there. More people than that are dying with AIDS every day.
Hey, wait a minute, we haven't had a terrorist scare in awhile. Isn't it about time for one of those? Do they still have the "color wheel" notifications? Was there ever a teal alert? I really like that color. There was a time, in the past, when I would get caught up in the media frenzy over the "big deal of the day". I'll admit it. But after the media monster has "cried wolf" far too many times over the years, you get tired of it and wise up. At least, I have.
The reasons they hype it up could be any of the following:
A) To get big ratings/make money
B) To offer a distraction from the real news that certain political and powerful organizations would have reason for the public not to see
C) Just because there is no other news so they have to hype something in order for consumers to watch and buy what the advertisers are hyping in their commercials/printed ads/propaganda.
In summary, my recommendation is to not freak out. Calm down. More importantly, when you see any news that you believe may be hyped for any of the reasons listed above, give it the finger and pride yourself on being smart enough to know better.
The World Health Organization (WHO) has come out with the news that they're going to change the name of swine flu to something else. It seems folks around the world are panicking from all the media hype and killing off all the pigs for fear of getting the flu. Dumbasses. The brand new name for it is influenza A(H1N1). Thanks, I feel much better now.
Who knows? Maybe this swine flu really will turn out to be fatal for the masses. But until then, when I see some real numbers, I refuse to give a shit. Don't give me this 6 dead here or 1 with the sniffles there. More people than that are dying with AIDS every day.
Hey, wait a minute, we haven't had a terrorist scare in awhile. Isn't it about time for one of those? Do they still have the "color wheel" notifications? Was there ever a teal alert? I really like that color. There was a time, in the past, when I would get caught up in the media frenzy over the "big deal of the day". I'll admit it. But after the media monster has "cried wolf" far too many times over the years, you get tired of it and wise up. At least, I have.
The reasons they hype it up could be any of the following:
A) To get big ratings/make money
B) To offer a distraction from the real news that certain political and powerful organizations would have reason for the public not to see
C) Just because there is no other news so they have to hype something in order for consumers to watch and buy what the advertisers are hyping in their commercials/printed ads/propaganda.
In summary, my recommendation is to not freak out. Calm down. More importantly, when you see any news that you believe may be hyped for any of the reasons listed above, give it the finger and pride yourself on being smart enough to know better.
Family Guy 420
This episode is full of laughs and truth about marijuana. I especially enjoyed the musical Brian and Stewie put on for the townspeople and also what Brian said, concerning why the plant was made illegal in the 1930's. Even for the few who don't care for "Family Guy", I advise you to watch this one. It's hilarious!
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