An Award From The Minute Man's Wife and Unbridled Insanity

And by god damned it, I'm back and seething with such ungodly friggin' rage, I'm gonna park my small car after just having gone to the bar parking lot for some excitement, stick pickles up my ass, while using a sawzall on my penis head, all the while using a penis pump, beforehand, (to get my junk- Grade A- good n' hard, ya know) while having a crooked neck giraffe give me a deep anal lickin' and have it topped off with the spiritually uplifting rim job of a lifetime from an anteater at the zoo.

Woo Fucking Hoo! and pass the fucking Valium after I go really crazy and drink a cup of shitty, chemical-tasting decaffeinated coffee. What in the fuck is decaffeinated coffee for? Don't give me any of that bullshit like "It's for people who enjoy the taste of coffee but are afraid of the staying awake a couple hours past their wussy bedtime". Fuck that! Grow a set of balllllllssss or flabby pussy lips, depending on your gender! That shit ain't coffee!!! That shit defeats the goddamn purpose of drinking god damned coffee!!! Excuse me here for a split second while I chop some fucker's head off and wear it on my rigid, cheerfully erect pecker (reference to the book, American Psycho) while I pour myself a god damned fresh cup of REAL COFFEE.

So... how have you guys been? Good? Ah, that's nice.

So, yeah, I'm back one more time until something eventually falls from the sky and caves my head in. I wonder what it will be? A meteor. I can handle that. A hundred pounds of frozen waste from an airplane going overhead? That would be like a fly gently floating by my ear and cutting a fart. Hardly noticeable.

Fuck, I'm so fucking shell shocked by recent events, nothing could be a surprise. Actually, when nothing at all worrisome is happening to the wife and I and all is cool and all is right- that's when I begin to worry. If my life suddenly begins to transform into something resembling almost harmonious, take fucking cover, immediately! That will be the true sign of the Apocalypse! Fuck that old idiot, Camping and his Rapture. Buddy, I got your Rapture right here!

But things are starting to head in the right direction. If nothing else occurs, I will be 60% satisfied. That's equivalent, to some fuckers that have a hard on or wetty for that most dreaded of made up percentages, that some like to say out loud, in a sad attempt to impress- and that would be "110%". Take your 110% and shove it way up your ass with your decaffeinated coffee you superficial, motherfuckin', crooked neck, rim job lickin' stain from a rancid pussy fart!

No, not you, my friend. The guy or girl behind you.

Sorry. Where did I hide my mind again? Ohhh yeahhhh...

Did you know that Winnie The Pooh, Rabbit and Tigger violated Piglet in all of his orifices, so brutally, until his colon eventually fell out onto the ground where it was eaten by all of the rest of the crack-addicted Hundred Acre Wood critters? Well, it's true. It's says so in the bible. It's the start of the Rapture, in fact! You're welcome for the heads up.

While on a much needed sabbatical, three (and possibly a fourth one on the way) bloggers acted as guest posters.

Mrs. Pickle from the blog, Pickles In My Ass, The Wolf, from the blog, The S.N.A.F.U Report and Pickleope from the blog, Pickleope.com have all been generous enough to give of their unique talents and be my guest posters for the last couple of weeks. I thank all of you for your support, time and well-written and often, extremely hilarious, posts. In my tirade, at the beginning of this post, I think you might have noticed a little referencing to their posts in a somewhat genial way.

You guys really know how to make me laugh out loud while sticking my pecker in a pickle slicer.

I also want to thank genuine supporter and thoughtful blogger, The Minute Man's Wife, for the Good Bloggers Pay It Forward Award, while I was away. I've connected with her the last several months, at a sympathetic, supportive level in the blogging community in a way that I feel honestly appreciative for. She's one of the nicest of nicest people that you'll ever have the pleasure of interacting with. The Minute Man's Wife gave me, a crazy bastard, who has a heart of gold, filled with flesh-eating maggots, this award for being supportive. I am grateful and touched by this.

Amazed? Choking on a drink, suddenly? You shouldn't be. Not only am I swell but I'm modest as hell, too. Yep.

Take a gander at The Minute Man's Wife's blog, but please remember, no sex toys allowed while visiting.

Look to your extreme right. It's already there with the rest of my awards.

Oh dear lord almighty, have I just been blessed again? Easy rules for this award! Hooray!

The rules for this particular award are, thankfully, weep-worthingly easy.

1) Tell everyone who gave you the award. (I did)

2) Put up a link to their blog. (Done)

3) Pay it Forward to five more bloggers. (Going to)

In no particular order, here are the five bloggers, in my opinion, in the past, who have exemplified support, which the award is supposed to represent:

(1) Rebecca (The Snee) from the blog, The Sometimes, Never, Eventually Express

(2) Gary, from the blog, klahanie

(3) LilPixi, from the blog, It's a Lollipop world

(4) GEM, from the blog, the modern day spinster

(5) Last but not least, Mrs. Pickle, from the blog, Pickles In My Ass

Be sure to check them out or you'll get the lash!

Now this isn't to say the rest of you have not been supportive and secretly or not so secretly wish me a slow, torturous death involving me being naked, with my nuts, honey coated and ready to be torn away by the sharp teeth of rabid rodents. Besides, I don't wash my scrotum but once every leap year. Ah Ha!

I do this to keep the rodents away and because I like the sticky, pasty feeling so much. Plus, it's for the sake of any house guests who come over every so often for my famous homemade putrid cheese dip.

Where was I? Oh, yes.

I want to thank the rest of you for your support by way of commenting on my blog while I was gone, just visiting and for all the other interactions on the Internet. You know who you are. You guys have been great. Thank you!

Don't forget to take home some of my homemade cheese dip before you leave. It's deeeeelish! But whatever you do, don't drink decaffeinated coffee.

Take care, my friends!

Disturbing Trend of Small Town Crimes By Cops and Crazies

The folks in my surrounding area are getting a little too crazy... even for me. I think I liked it better when they were all just a bunch of boring, redneck hillbillies that just sat around drinking beer and renting DVDs for their weekend's entertainment. There was a time when our neighboring big city of Cincinnati was getting all the bad press and media attention for gang related murders and widespread police brutality toward innocent and elderly people. You know... The easier targets.

Now the small town area I live in is getting that kind of attention this year. Some of the news is even garnering national media attention.

Explanation

In the town of Rising Sun, Indiana, a couple rinky dink towns away from me, a boy by the name of Andrew Conley, 18 years old, decided to strangle his 10 year old brother to death because he wanted to be like the main character in the TV show, Dexter. Dexter is a serial killer in the show and apparently, Andrew was a big fan. The news of the murder made headlines across the U.S. and everyone expressed disbelief it had happened in such a small town.

At the time of the murder, Andrew was 17.

Andrew confessed to the murder, while in court, very calmly and gave intricate details to the judge and the courtroom audience of how it all went down.

Andrew explained that he choked his younger brother while they were playing around and wrestling on the ground until the boy passed out. He said he then dragged his brother into the kitchen, put on gloves and continued strangling him for at least 20 minutes. Andrew then confided that he put the boy's head into two plastic bags.

A coroner testified that Andrew's brother, Conner, may have still been alive for minutes or hours after that point, but the bags helped suffocate him and Conley repeatedly banged the boy's head on the ground before loading him in the trunk of his car to make sure he was dead.

Conley told psychologists he had been unable to stop and felt as if he were watching the murder outside himself. But the judge said that despite contradictory statements by Conley, experts agreed that he still knew what he was doing was wrong.

The judge discounted Conley's claims of remorse as "superficial and not sincere," saying he could have expressed remorse when he drove to give his girlfriend a promise ring with his brother's body in the trunk of his car but didn't.

The judge also noted that instead of telling his father what he had done the following morning, he asked for condoms and joked with his mother and watched football all day. Conley also calmly remarked that he had calmly stood over his sleeping father with a knife and considered cutting his throat.

Conley, now 18, was sentenced a month ago to life in prison without parole. The prosecutor said he couldn't get the death penalty because he was only 17 when the murder occurred.

A Couple of Florence Nightingales

Then we have two cases of two head nurses in two different nursing homes that were arrested for selling drugs; pain medication, to be exact, that was meant to be administered to two elderly women who were both suffering from terminal illnesses. One elderly lady was on morphine for her horrendous pain. The other, on a high dosage of Vicodin. Both of them died in agony due to the head nurses using the medication that was meant for them and instead, selling their medication for profit.

Who's Going To Protect Us From The Cops?

Then there is the disturbing trend, lately, where the cops in this area of small, strung together towns are getting in trouble for some pretty heinous crimes.

In the town I grew up in, a former Assistant Police Chief has been caught, arrested and fined for pilfering money from the police department he worked at. No jail time, however. He had been a cop there for close to twenty years.

Still another cop has been suspended, temporarily, from the force for two instances of Driving Under the Influence and crashing into someone on the last one.

Yet another cop, in my old hometown, has recently been arrested for beating his wife almost to death and he has been ticketed and given a little fine for his actions.

Even the mayor of the town I'm living in now has recently been arrested for driving under the influence and crashing into a parked vehicle.

Saving The Worst For Last

One former Assistant Police Chief was arrested earlier this year. This former Assistant Police Chief of one of these small towns in a Indiana police department will spend the next seven years in prison. The cop resigned in April of 2010 after being arrested for solicitation.

Police say the veteran police officer was chatting with whom he thought to be a 13 year old girl, who was, in fact, an undercover police officer in Ohio. The former Assistant Police Chief, while chatting away with the "young girl", also exposed his cock to her by way of using his son's computer and the son's web cam. It was later reported that he had flashed his genitals on several different occasions to other young girls, by way of web cam, after law enforcement officials confiscated the computer and checked out the history and video files on the hard drive and talking to victims of whom he flashed.

The court was thinking about fining "Officer Pervert" a shit load of money on top of his sentence but they decided, in the end, to refrain from doing so because his wife and two sons would be the ones to suffer. His wife, of nearly twenty years of marriage, is barely getting by as it is because she works at Wal-Mart. You know... Wal-Mart. That's the place where they treat their employees like shit and pay them next to nothing while they face and deal with the general public every day- a fate worse than death. I know. I was employed there for about three years.

Also, on a side note, if any employee at Wal-Mart is caught or rumored to have spoken about this woman's ex-cop husband (yes, she is still married to him) and the crime he committed, they have been told they will be immediately terminated on site.

By the way, I have nothing but absolute respect for anyone having to deal with an ungrateful, cold blooded team of management and your typical asshole customers every day. Much more so than anyone else in any other occupation- with the exception of firefighters, EMT's and people who help others out.

"Officer Pervert", who is 52 years old, had been a police officer for 25 years. As of now, this scumbag, piece-of-shit ex-cop remains held at the Switzerland County Detention Center until he can be moved to a state facility because they fear for his safety.

Hopefully, when they throw his sorry ass in prison, he will be eligible for the special Seven Year Plan of severe, sadistic anal raping as a lesson in justice.

Let's collectively cross our fingers, shall we?

The popular expression in our area, nowadays, is this:

If you wanna get a job as a cop with the police department- it's easy... Just commit a felony.

The Truth

All cops are not heroes and that's a fact, but because of the myth that "all cops are heroes," there's minimal call for disciplining bad cops, and maximal call for "forgiving," and "understanding" the tough work of being a cop. To me, that type of allowance is terrifying.

Police work is tough, of course. It's among the most difficult jobs in the world, work that deserves our respect. And turning a blind eye toward police misconduct by allowing crooked, corrupt, outright criminal cops to have long careers in law enforcement only makes it more difficult and dangerous for the good cops.

Letting cops get away with crime, or "punishing" police misconduct with long, leisurely paid suspensions, or probation, or sweet deals that allow a policeman's own police record to be expunged, or any of the other special treatments cops typically receive when they're accused of wrongdoing, is asinine and counterproductive.

And really, the same goes for any authority figure. They should be held accountable and the punishment for any wrongdoing on their part should be swift and harsh just because they have been given the responsibility of either leading and/or protecting people in their charge.

If you wish, I will gleefully volunteer for the job of doling out said punishments. I can be quite creative, I cheerfully assure you. I am smiling quite evilly now, as you can imagine. And can you just imagine me in charge of punishing such offenders? What fun everyone would have!

In The End

It's been an exciting year in my neck of the woods thus far. I wonder what will happen next in my sleepy little town. It's always been a source of mild amusement for me when reporters come around and do their usual commentary during these types of reports, saying the same routine phrase, "Well, you wouldn't think it could happen in such a small town like this but "so and so" committed _________ (fill in the blank for whatever shocking crime you can think of that could happen in a burg like mine).

Seduce Me- The Duck and The Bedbug

Watch these clips from Isabella Rosselini's show, Seduce Me, on the Sundance Channel. They're freaking bizarre and funny as fuck. Trust me. You have to see these to believe 'em.

There's nothing quite as humorous as watching a human being getting gang raped by ducks, I always say. And the bedbug clip certainly had "a point" to it. Not sure what, but I'm sure it's there somewhere.

My Three-Hundredth Post

My first post on Psycho Carnival was created December 13, 2007.

Back then I was an amateur, an Internet virgin, if you will, in the Blogosphere, completely new to all of the glorious-ness (yeah, right) and often times, utter bullshit of the world of blogging. I used and still use this site to rant, rave, entertain, dazzle with my brilliance, vent out feelings of my depression disorder, humor, inform and everything in between. I'm a multi-dimensional human being. Why shouldn't I have a versatile blog that shows it? For that matter, why shouldn't every blogger have a multifaceted blog? Surely, they don't have a one-sided, dull-as-hell aspect to their personality?

Or do they? Tee hee.

Hell... Someone that just found themselves on this site might think me a loon with multiple personalities with the way I go from producing a post chock full of sardonic humor to another tainted with serious information to yet another post that's more or less a ruthless diatribe of grievances on a particular subject. Oh, how many times have I reflected upon our apparently insane species?

Who knows? Perhaps I am a loon, as well. Better yet... Do I give a hearty fuck?

Can you guess the answer?

The Point: You never know what you're going to get when you drop by for a visit. And I'd like to keep it that way. Like I eluded to before... 'multi-dimensional human being = versatile blog'.

One thing that does remain a constant on this site is my full blown honesty about everything. At times, if you've been even an intermittent reader of this blog, you know I can be brutally honest about others and especially myself. I'm like that not because the reader can't see me (my pretty picture of my screaming face doesn't count) but it's because life's experiences has worn me down or straightened me out, somewhat, and taught me the lesson that It Does No One Any Good, Most Especially Yourself, To Be Dishonest.

Trust me when I say that being truly honest is a true relief for one's peace of mind in every way possible. If that sounds simplistic, that's because it is. Pure and simple. Get it? Lying, superficiality, all forms of deception and people who smile while they are saying something unjustifiably cruel to another human being are things and actions I absolutely despise about fuckers, ahem, I mean people.

Well, no, I actually meant fuckers.

I'll get off my soapbox... For now. Heh heh. I get a little carried away.

I'm frankly surprised I've been running this site long enough to have done 300 posts. I thought it would be just a way to express myself for a short stint. But that hasn't been the case, obviously. Along the way, I've connected and interacted with many bloggers over the years. A multitude of those folks have "left the building" so to speak. I haven't heard from or seen anything new from them. They just quit blogging for whatever reason. Maybe their lives outside of blogging took over, preventing them doing it any more. Who knows? If you're a seasoned vet of blogging, you know the story and have seen your share of bloggers come and go, as well. In some cases, it's a real shame because they really contributed something special to the net... Which is rare and of true value.

And I'm not so egotistical that I don't acknowledge the fact that numerous amounts of bloggers have been at their projects, their creations, their babies and their blogs for a whole lot longer than I have. No, siree. I have high respect for those folks. Blogging can be a tiresome, mind-straining, brain-busting activity very often. And often times, the payoff comes only when you've completed a post that you can be proud to display to the rest of wacky folks in the world of blogging.

In closing, I'd like to thank those bloggers and readers who have hung with me or visited this site on this insane Internutty Journey and have interacted with me with good humor and/or common sense. Peace out, brothers and sisters! You may now go back to porn surfing... If you have gotten this far down the page.

Honestly and Insanely Yours (but you cannot detain me, literally),

The Great, Mighty and Ever So Humble-Kelly (aka MasterHeathen)

The Melancholy Roller Coaster Ride

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Baltimore Weatherman Flips Out

This weatherman in Baltimore loses it before the upcoming Snowmaggedon.

Strange Occurrences

SAGINAW, Mich. — A man who police said was arrested for performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum was sentenced to 90 days in jail on Wednesday and ordered to submit to drug testing. The 29-year-old man pleaded no contest to indecent exposure last month.


My opinion: If you really feel the urge to push your stink log into something mechanical or non-human, why not try a nice ripe watermelon, with a hole in it-in the privacy of your own home. After you're finished, why not give the used melon to a friend?


Not that I would do that sort of thing.


NEW YORK– A small political party angry at bonuses paid to staff of bailed out insurance giant American International Group is organizing a bus tour to the Connecticut homes of several AIG executives. "We're all mad at AIG," the Connecticut Working Families Party, a small liberal party, said on its Web site, inviting people to sign up for its "Lifestyles of the Rich and Infamous" bus tour and a rally at the company's Wilton, Connecticut, headquarters, on Saturday.


"Their executives bear a large share of the responsibility for bringing the economy to its knees, and now the same folks are getting hundreds of millions of dollars in bonuses -- at our expense," the website said.

My opinion: Don't forget to bring the napalm!

BRUSSELS - A world record in the length of a queue to a toilet was set on Sunday when 756 people lined up to a latrine in central Brussels to raise awareness for the need for clean water on World Water Day.

My opinion: I'd hate to be the last one. I would be PISSED.


HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. - Police are seeking a woman they said used a false identity to get breast implants and liposuction, then skipped town. Huntington Beach police said Monday that a 30-year-old woman opened a line of credit in someone else's name in September 2008 and had the procedures worth more than $12,000 performed at the Pacific Center For Plastic Surgery.


My opinion: Some women will do anything to get a man's attention (and money, eventually). I hope they catch the vain, crooked bitch and she gets her boob balloons ripped out with a rusty pair of pliers.

January 2008, London's The Sun found a practitioner of a new art form in which a design is inked, with a tattoo needle, into the sclera, which is the white part of the eyeball. That volunteer (from Canada) may well be the only daredevil, or one of a tiny number, but Oklahoma state senators were alarmed enough that they passed legislation out of committee in February to ban the practice in their state. "If we can stop ... one person from doing it, we've been successful," said Sen. Cliff Branan. An Oklahoma City tattoo artist told KSBI-TV that the law is useless, in that "common sense" will prevent the problem.

My opinion: Unfortunately, most people don't apply "common sense" to much of anything anymore. I'm waiting for eyeball piercings to come out as the latest fad. The willing participants won't complain about being blind as long as they feel trendy.

LAKELAND, Fla. - An eighth-grader was suspended from riding the school bus for three days after being accused of passing gas. The bus driver wrote on a misbehavior form that a 15-year-old teen passing gas on the bus on March 16 to make the other children laugh, creating a stench so bad that it was difficult to breathe. The bus driver handed the teen the suspension form the next day. Polk County school officials said there's no rule against flatulence, but there are rules against causing a disturbance on the bus.

My opinion: If the bus driver can't handle gagging to the point of vomiting on some kid's nasty rectal bombs, then he shouldn't have become a bus driver.

No One's Virginity Is Worth That

Maybe you 've heard this story. The media and the uptights were whipping themselves into a frenzy with this a couple days ago. For myself, I considered it a bit of comedy. It's mighty fucked up, to be sure.

Natalie Dylan, a 22-year-old, is selling her virginity online. The top bid is $3.7 million, at the moment. So if ya got wads of cash to throw or shoot on Natalie's magical, virginal whoopity doo and your IQ is beneath that of a turd, go for it. Ebay had her auction removed from their site. She has advertised on the website of The Moonlite BunnyRanch, a licensed brothel, saying:

"Natalie Dylan is a college girl from Sacramento CA.. Not only does she have a degree in Women's Studies, she is looking to raise money to continue her education and get her master's degree in Psychology so she can practice Family Psychology. She comes to us here at the bunny ranch with a very special gift, Natalie is a virgin and would like to sell this priceless and rare commodity in a very exclusive and private setting."

First of all, she ain't that great looking to me.

And even if I had that kind of money, I wouldn't blow it by doing the ol' "pump-n-dump" with her or anybody else , that includes celebrities and 22 year old college girls. Not that I personally have anything against prostitution, of which I think her auction is a form. Anyone who would pay her should be considered a moronic john or "customer", if you will. Of course, it's being done in the part of Nevada where it's legal.

It's her life.... but, I think any future employer may consider her auction to be a blemish on her record. Wonder if her and her lucky customer are going to trade sexual history records to check out if either has any STD's? Not that I care. Maybe he or she will surprise the other by turning into a maniacal, evil freak in the middle of the Big DeVirginization.

That might be scary. Again, if it happens, I promise not to care. Just remember, Natalie and/or Whoever, ye have sowed what ye have reaped. Is that the way it goes? Hell, I can't remember. If it turns out to be a dissapointment, well...

I'm Back Online And Seething With Madness

Yes, I'm back. My goddamn computer died on me. Completely! All my files, pics, programs and other assorted insanity was wiped away-- clean as a whistle dipped in hydrochloric acid. And no, I didn't have any back up copies. Yes, I am a dumb ass! But, to my pitiful defense, I was unable to create any back ups in the past because my goddamn CD burner wasn't working right. But still, I should have had it fixed.

Anyway....

Enter Dave, friend of mine and computer whiz. He made the magic happen. Thanks to him, my PC functions. My computer is back and with each day that arrives and dissipates (like my patience for these goddamn twittering birds outside my window) I slowly make my PC the wonderful dumping ground for all of my bizarre goodies it once was.

My wife won't let me have a gun or else I would go outside, in my tranquil suburban neighborhood, and start blowing away birdies!

BTW, it was really fun responding to all of my emails. Nearly a hundred emails from one account. Another 60 something from the other email account.

Blah Blah and Blah

I'm going to pop open a beer and buy a gun. Sounds like a plan.

later

Zombie

Rick, who I believe lives in Canada, has spent a lot of money on getting much of his body tattoed.  You see, Rick would like to look like a zombie.  And, so far, he's doing a great job.  He even thinks like a zombie, in the fact, that he is apparently brain dead.

See and click the link below the photo of Rick for more on Zombie Boy and what he has done to himself.

 For more on Rick, the Zombie Boy

Name Changes And Censorship

A judge in New Mexico ruled against a Los Alamos man who wanted to change his name to a phrase. Judge Nash said the name change was "obscene, offensive and would not comport with common decency."


Presently, this guy's name is Variable.

What?


That's right. Variable. Yeah, he's done the name changing thing before. This time around, though, I don't think it's going to happen with any judge he goes in front of. This time he wants to change his name to Fuck Censorship! With the exclamation point, I guess, to add emphasis. Amusing.


Before that, the guy's name was Snaphappy Fishsuit Mokiligon. No kidding. Try saying that 3 times fast. You get the feeling this freak is making a cry for help, or at least, for attention.


Personally, I wouldn't deny him the name change. Not because I feel that vulgarity for the sake of vulgarity is something that should be celebrated. Not at all. Besides, he is the one who has to live with it. Anyway, I like the proposed name because it sends a message that censorship is wrong. Unfortunately, you sometimes have to hit the public over the head with a verbal blunt instrument to get the attention a serious topic badly needs. Are there other ways to do this in a more "sensitive" manner. Sure, there is. I don't debate that.


Censorship is serious because it tears away at our supposed freedom of speech. It dictates what you are allowed to see and allowed to learn. For example, the government restricts what you know about the interrogations inflicted on military prisoners. Presently, there are books still being banned around the world. Corporations, that own the networks, tell the networks what can be shown and said everyday. Many of today's scientists are being censored when they speak out against pollution, global warming and other dangerous threats to our world. These are a just a few examples.

Censorship suppresses ideas and encourages ignorance.

Under the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, each of us has the right to read, view, listen to, and disseminate constitutionally protected ideas, even if a censor finds those ideas offensive.

But sadly, this isn't the reality of today's world. Sadder still, is the unwillingness of so many of us to fight for the First Amendment.

Jokers Past and Present

Just thought I'd give credit to Batman's most excellent nemesis. The Joker. What a complete freak! What a lovable psycho!

It all started when this twisted version of a clown came into being in the comic books.



Then there was the ultra campy version of the Joker in the 60's WHAM!-POW!-KONK! Batman and Robin tv show. Cesar Romero was the actor playing the Joker in those days. You could tell he was having a ball with the part. And Romero had an insane laugh, man.

Little Known Fact: Cesar Romero refused to shave his mustache off for the part, even though in the comic books, the Joker never had one. He demanded that he be allowed to keep it, as part of his contract. As a result, the makeup artists had to use the white paint over his mustache.

Jack Nicholson did a fantastic, manic job as the Joker in Tim Burton's Batman. Here's a few choice quotes from Jack in the movie:

You IDIOT! You made me. Remember? You dropped me into that vat of chemicals. That wasn't easy to get over, and don't think that I didn't try.

Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile.

Batman... Batman... Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in, where a man dressed up as a *bat* gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!

"Winged freak terrorizes"? Wait'll they get a load of ME!

Never rub another man's rhubard.

Next up is Heath Ledger. A talented actor who died too young from an accidental overdose of sleeping pills. Heath said in an interview that the role of playing such a homicidal maniac like the Joker took it's toll on him. He implied, at least it is my perception, that the role of Joker kept him awake at nights.

I now offer you a clip of the new Batman movie coming in July. Enjoy!

7 Lesser Known Loons From Past and Present (5th Edition)

REINALDO SILVESTRE "BUTCHER OF SOUTH BEACH" IS A LOON OF THE PRESENT. HE'S BEEN PUT IN THE SLAMMER FOR SLICING, DICING AND GIVING A MAN BREASTS. READ ON FOR FURTHER "TITILLATION". SORRY.

Reinaldo Silvestre and two accomplices would use an animal tranquilizer before engaging in bungled operations, including the one performed on a bodybuilder. A video tape was brought to the police, showcasing the surgery done on Mr. Mexico of 1975. Mr. Mexico came to Silvestre for pectoral implants to revive his career. Instead, he got a whole lot of pain and a hefty set of man boobies.

See pics above for the end result of the bodybuilder's operation.

Capt. Charles Press said about the videotape ".... it was obscene. I've been a police officer for almost 25 years, and I was repulsed. He was in obvious pain."

On the videotape, you can see Silvestre using an instrument resembling a spatula during the operation. It also shows the butchering bastard shoving implants into the man's chest with his fingers.

It's hard to imagine what the bodybuilder, Alexander Baez, went through during that. If it were me, I would have opted to do a bit of butchering on Reinaldo to return the favor. But hey, that's me.

During his practice at Ocean Health Center in Miami Beach , Reinaldo had the chance to ruin many people's lives. Another one of his victims is Jeanette Bernal.

Jeannette Bernal said she went to Silvestre for breast enlargements and he left her disfigured after operating on her five times. She said her boyfriend left her as a result. ''I trusted him, and he deformed my breasts,'' she told The Herald in 1999.

Silvestre pleaded guilty to disfiguring two of his victims in return for a reduced sentence of 7½ years in prison. He'll be on probation for the next 30 years. Silvestre is pictured at the bottom of this post.

This is a case of not enough justice being served. This worthless sadist is having civil suits brought up against him by his victims and their families. I hope they get or have already gotten every penny from him.

7 Lesser Known Loons From Past and Present (3rd Edition)

IN THIS EDITION OF LESSER KNOWN LOONS, WE TAKE A LOOK AT SOMEONE LIVING AMONGST US NOW. HE CLAIMS TO BE A VAMPIRE, A SATANIST AND, OF COURSE, A WRESTLER. HE HAS RAN FOR PUBLIC OFFICE IN THE PAST AND IS LOOKING TO DO SO AGAIN.

CAN JONATHON "THE IMPALER" SHARKEY COUNT ON YOUR VOTE?

Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey (1964 - ) is a self-proclaimed satanist, "sanguinary vampyre", Hecate Witch and professional boxer as well as wrestler (under the name Rocky "Hurricane" Flash) and perennial candidate for public office. He has filed with the Federal Election Commission to run for President of the United States twice as an Independent candidate (in 2004 and in 2008) and for Congress in at least three states -- his home State of New Jersey (1999-2000, Republican), Indiana (Reform Party, 2000) and Florida (2001-02, Republican). In 2006, he ran for governor of Minnesota.

Sharkey lived for a time in Florida under his wrestling name of Rocky Hurricane Flash. While there, he also used the assumed name Kathleen Sharkey and claimed that this Kathleen Sharkey was either his half-sister or his wife. He filed reports with the Federal Election Commission which listed Kathleen Sharkey as a member of his campaign staff. Eventually, a letter was filed with the Federal Election Commission, purportedly by Kathleen Sharkey, which implied that he had died.

Documents from a lawsuit filed in the Indianapolis District Court mention that Sharkey attempted to commit suicide. It has been suggested instead that he attempted to fake his own death. The Vampires, Witches, and Pagans Party was founded by Sharkey in 2005. It is officially recognized by United States Federal Election Committee, although there is little evidence of any membership or activity other than two persons.

The Party advocates protection of the religious beliefs and political advancment of individuals identifying themselves as vampires, witches, pagans, demons, Satanists, Wiccans, and those professing similar lifestyles and religious views. An independently produced documentary about Sharkey, Impaler, debuted in Australia on February 9, 2007. His latest project is online: Jonathon "The Impaler" For President 2008