Musings, Memories and The Final Curtain For Psycho Carnival

Weeeeeeeeeee!

Well gang,

As the title implies, this will be the last post for my blog of 6 years, Psycho Carnival.  I want to thank everyone who has continuously followed the blog in the past and present.  Even those who have checked in, time to time, I appreciate the support. Speaking of support, I want to thank good friends like Gary, Static, Lilpixi, Bazza, Dixie and so many others, that it would take me forever to mention here, who have supported me through the good, bad, wild and crazy times while I've created posts on the blog. I really appreciate all of you and those I haven't mentioned.  Hopefully, you'll know who I'm referring to because I've visited your great blogs in the past and present.  You can look at my blogroll for all others who have interacted with me on the Internet, on their blogs or elsewhere, too.

I've always been strangely attracted to odd stories and images.  This goes for my preference in people, as well.  For me, there is almost no more of a heinous crime than to be boring- whether it's in a blog, in a social network like Facebook or in real life.

I've seen a lot of blogs come and go on the Internet throughout my six years doing this.  I've seen some really good ones stop posting and it has made me sad to see them drop off the radar in blogland. I get attached to people I really like.  I'm that way with my offline friends, too. I think and I've read, too, where something dramatic will happen and they'll stop doing their blog(s) .  The reasons they stop posting vary, of course.  Could be a job that takes most of their time. Could be a death in the family.  Could be, like in my case, total burnout from blogging.  That's not to say I haven't enjoyed everyone's blogs that I've visited and commented on (or should I say rambled, endlessly, on?)  And that's not to say I haven't enjoyed posting on my own blog, either, in the past.  I'm just totally burned out on the whole blogging business.

Mine has always been a variety type blog.  A lot of fictional stories.  True stories.  Some humorous subjects here.  Some serious topics there.  And some, maybe most, really, are a mix of emotions and topics of anything you can imagine or stuff that is unimaginable for you.  One thing I've always been, however, is honest.  I don't put on a superficial facade when I write.  It has always been from the heart and I usually let you know when I'm just joking if I'm making something up. And I've always leaned more toward, in favor and comments, those who are similar, in some ways, to my own blog when it comes to variety, humor and honesty.

Some folks who fake it could use a shitload of  the ol' "facing reality" kind of therapy.  Yep.   But I won't rant about that for a change.  LOL.  

This is my 500th post, by the way.  A milestone.  I enjoyed the journey, which this blog has been for me.  I've also regarded this blog as being very therapeutic in letting me get things off my chest.

While being in the blog biz, I hope I've helped others with my past humorous, depressing, wise or somewhat inspiring true stories. That goes for when I've commented on your blogs, too.

I also hope you appreciate the following images. Some are political.  Some I found to be funny, for whatever reason.  Some you might not understand.  I"m kind of complicated that way.  LOL.  I'm certainly no Simple Jack.  Or am I?  :)

The last two I find particularly humorous because you see a lot of that sort of thing (dramatic bullshit and endless arguing) on the Internet, in general, and on some blogs I've visited.  I never could understand that type of unrewarding, trivial thinking on the parts of the players who participate in that stuff.  But, heck no, I won't rant about that.  I never rant. And I'm never sarcastic, either.  Hahaha.... and so on.

I trust you've all gotten most of what I've tried to express in the past and enjoyed whatever it was I presented in words and images.  It's been a privilege in getting to know you.  I've certainly enjoyed commenting back and forth and exchanging ideas, jokes and viewpoints.

Who knows?  Someday, I might blog again.  It just won't be here and it will be, if it happens in the future, in a different style, for certain.  I'll let you know if I return to the scene.

Also, I plan on writing a book (I've had this plot-line for one rattling around in my head for decades now) as soon as I catch up on books that I've had lying around, never read and fixing things around the place.  The book I plan on writing will be fictional and incorporate some serious, humorous and surprising elements (especially for those who have read my stuff here).

If you want to "friend me" on Facebook, Google+ or if you want email me, let me know.  I'll give you the information so we can remain in contact and continue to interact.  I'd very much like that.  My Facebook page is a lot like my blog.  You won't see many goofy, cutesy pics of kittens or some similar shit like that... that often.  Most of the time, it will be humorous pics I put on my timeline or some serious stuff.  It's a mix.

In closing, I'd just like to thank all the people who have visited, commented on my posts and interacted with me on the net for all these years.  I consider you my friends.  Remember that! If you need my support, a laugh or anything that is possible for me to give, I'm there for you.  Goodbye... for now.  Any comments you make in the comment section, I'll respond to ASAP. I'll be making one last visit to all of your blogs, as well.  Take care!

Aloha and mahalo! 

Peace of Mind and Lords of Acid- Out Comes the Evil

Wow. If you haven't heard their music before, you may want to try Lords of Acid, guys, out on your ears. Fucked up, yes. Sexed up, sure. But the beat is something easy to get into.  It's rave music and or techno music, if you feel the need to categorize it, but it's more than that.  I think if you get them, you like them.  Hell, if you're not persuaded by the steady rhythms, overall style and the catchy beat in the first place, I don't think you'll give them a shot.  If you wanna, read the rest of this post while listening to the song.  There is no real video to be watched.

Yeah, it's one of those kind.  Don't be put off.  No tears, please

I hope you all had a great weekend. I'll be seriously catching up on blog visiting and commenting the next few days. I've kinda been taking it easy and going to parks for tranquility and peace of mind- or maybe I've just taken a break to pick up the pieces of my mind.  Too much going on all at once again.  That was the anchor wearing me down.

And thanks to my cat, Victor, who can somehow type, has a certain command of the English language, while  carefully observing the Human Condition or "brain reformatting by certain systems and/or corporations, for filling in for me while I was away.  For that matter, hell, everyone else in the blogosphere is allowing or being forced by their animals out of their blog author chair and taking over.  Why not let the cat do it if he wants?  He can rant as well or write as well as the rest as the bloggers out there.

Did I mention the next post will be one where you can actually take walks with me, by movies I've recorded during these walks, that take you on  peaceful little journeys?  I will even be including a recipe I've created for Venison Stew.  You don't want to miss that!

Bambi is dandy in a hearty broth, I always say.

I farted twelve times in the park, this afternoon, while taking a walk.  Sometimes they came in three sputters.  True.  I felt it important enough to report for a status update on Facebook.  The people need to know.

Beats watching the clown car full of Republicans spill out and pull their crazy one liners on people these days.  What is it with these obvious numb nuts?  Santorum, Gingrich, Romney and so on.  Earlier you had really radical presidential hopefuls like gun-toting Perry and crazy-eyed Bachmann mouthing off inanities or you got these guys in the present.

Here's a few crazy Republican quotes, in case you haven't heard them, but I'm sure if have by now:

The problem isn't too little money in political campaigns, but not enough- Newt Gingerich

"I don't know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We've had an earthquake; we've had a hurricane. He said, 'Are you going to start listening to me here?' Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we've got to rein in the spending." –Rep. Michele Bachmann, suggesting at a presidential campaign event in Florida that the 2011 East Coast earthquake and hurricane was a message from God (Aug. 2011)

“Give the park police more ammo.” ~Newt Gingrich, responding to a  reporter who asked what to do about the homeless a few days after the police shot a homeless man in front of the White House.

"Corporations are people, my friend... of course they are. Everything corporations earn ultimately goes to the people. Where do you think it goes? Whose pockets? Whose pockets? People's pockets. Human beings, my friend." —GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney


"I would be saying to the Iranians, you either open up those [nuclear weapons] facilities, you begin to dismantle them and make them available to inspectors, or we will degrade those facilities through air strikes.
If we reach a point where I believe the only thing that will stop them from this program being realized and having a nuclear weapon – I will make a clear declaration to the Iranian government that you either open your facilities, you begin to dismantle this nuclear program, or we will dismantle it for you." - Rick Santorum

Vote for Rick Santorum if you're still living in the eighteenth century

Getting back to this song.  I mean that's more important than ego-maniacal clowns that are funded by all the money they can handle form corporations for favor returning purposes...  Having a song you just discovered and have taken a liking to it and trying to convince people to at least give it a try is a hard sell.  Since I'm not much of a salesman, I'm not going to bother.  And quite frankly, I'm tired of convincing people of even the simplest of opinions or absolute truths. Ya either like this tune or not.  Doesn't persuade me either way.  I will shake your virtual hand if you do give it a listen, though.  At least then, you've shown yourself to be open minded.

Good Christ on a crispy cracker, at least it's a start.

When I first listened to the song and found out it was, on the surface, about drug addiction, if you think about it for a minute, you could switch some of these words with material possessions and obsessions about all types of things out there and you could have a song about any addiction.  Addiction to being judgmental about most things and people.  Addiction to certain food or drink.  Addiction to nervous or destructive habits.  Addiction, in any form for any reason, to me, isn't that great. A few harmless compulsions, now and then, I can understand. A full blown addiction to anything is bad news and is almost always negatively life altering and can lead to loss of life, friends, family and more- including your sanity.

Speaking of further PEACE OF MIND...Good news!  My wife and I are working on plans to go to Hawaii later this year.  We'll be visiting all the main islands on a cruise ship.  During one part of the trip, we'll be passing by an active volcano.  That will be exciting.  So will the sight of the whales racing along side the ship. I hope the volcanic lava hits me full force in the face.  BLAMMO!  No sexually gratuitous jokes here, please.  You know what a delicate, moral flower I am.

Now if that big meteor we're supposed to get, comes this December of this year and hits Earth, I wanna be right there.  Smack dab in the middle.  I'm not into lingering pain.  If I go hungry, because of closed roads or whatever, and can't find any animals or regular food to eat, I will cheerfully gnaw on your arm as you shake, shake, shake.  Instead of a Zombie Apocalypse for me, it will be a Low Blood Sugar Diabetic Apocalypse.  Sorry, in advance.  :(

Anyway, my thoughts on Doomsday 12/21/12 goes something like this:  I think a bunch of idiots (homo sapiens, ya know) are going to convince themselves- so well- that the end is on that exact date, no matter who has predicted whatever in the past for this particular day and will put things into motion (riots, bombs, all matter of mayhem) that might create needless hell for the rest of us trying to do something productive that day without interference.  

This music I just discovered, yet heard of but never listened to until now, from Lords of Acid, spews forth sweet, melodic beautiful acid that creates magical rainbows of love in the sky.  No lava, yet.

Lyrics to "Out Comes the Evil" by Lords of Acid

Half a pound of tuppany rice 
Half a pound of treacle 
That's the way the melody goes 
Pop goes the weasel 

Half a pound of tuppany rice 
Half a pound of treacle 
That's the way the melody goes 
Pop goes the weasel

Half a pound of heroin 
Half a pound of treacle 
That's the way the story goes 
Out comes the evil

Feels so good, feels so bad [x2]

Half a pound of heroin 
Half a pound of treacle 
That's the way the story goes 
Out comes the evil

Feels so good, feels so bad [x2]

Half a pound of heroin 
Half a pound of treacle 
That's the way the story goes 
Out comes the evil

Feels so good, feels so bad [x4]

Half a pound of tuppany rice 
Half a pound of treacle 
That's the way the melody goes 
Pop goes the weasel

Believe it not, I'm calming down. All the problems I talked about in previous posts haven't gone completely away, of course but I'm not asking or expecting that. Just a little relief now and then. I promise that if I hula dance during the trip, I will put the picture of me doing that on the blog. I know. I can feel both your excitement and revulsion.

Two Freaks- Caption This!

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Conditioning Techniques and Widespread Insanity

The first time you put your finger in a quickly rotating metal fan blade will probably also be your last. When you see the blood spurting forth from your digit like a geyser, you will have hopefully learned a lesson. And you will come away with not only a dismembered finger, but an association of the spinning metal fan blade with pain and the loss of something valuable. Like your goddamn finger!

In our everyday world, such learned associations or conditioned responses are realized in countless ways: A driver will brake at a red light in order to avoid injury or a ticket. Somebody eating shrimp and afterwards feel their throat closing up to an allergic reaction to shellfish will likely not eat it again and avoid it, entirely. A friend that steals from you will teach you not to trust that person again. And so on. These types of conditioned responses can only benefit you in the future.

These are normal, natural responses that prove useful in your life. Positive stimuli for your benefit.

And then there are the ones that aren't useful, beneficial, normal or natural. Such as: Phobias, superstitions, blindly following instead of thinking for fear of ridicule or punishment, addictions to drinking, gambling, money or anything self destructive for hollow, temporary contentedness.

People, I've always found, are an odd bunch. Even as a kid, I was an observer of society. The older I become, the more I see the flaws that get in the way of human progress. Often times, I wonder if we are devolving.

From youth to adult, we are conditioned by the commercials we see on TV or rhetoric we read from print or computer to act or feel a certain way. We're duped by ads, politicians, supervisors, friends, family and more. Conditioning techniques come in the forms of rewards and punishments. Do and act correctly, according to society as a whole and you may receive an award. If you refrain from doing what is expected or required- punishment may be inflicted in verbal or physical form.

There are only a few things that people are capable of that I can think of that are clearly acts that require punishment. Murder of an innocent human is one. Rape is another. Stealing, yet another. Telling someone a lie, in order that they do your bidding, is a good example, too. I'm sure there are more but I could be typing all night long. And that's not going to happen.

What frustrates me is the fact that people are not aware of these techniques that are used to ingrain these negative notions inside their minds. At least, that's the evidence that seems to be flaunted by most everyone. All they know is what they're told.

Religions, companies and governments are grand manipulators. Weapons they use that dig into your mind for their benefit the most? Words that instill fear so you do their bidding. Think about that, unless you haven't already.

It seems as years go by, while casually observing the public, friends, family and myself, of course, the will to think for oneself in this society has become disrupted and even corrupted. Has it always been this way with the human species? To think or act this way or else?

To be made a slave by any organized mass is the truest shame one can take on. When I see everyone in our society thinking and acting as expected or planned, it causes me to believe that we are not unwilling victims of widespread insanity but that we actually invite it, welcome it and wrap it around ourselves as if it were a warm, comfortable security blanket.

A Little Top Heavy

So, do you think they're real?

5 QUESTIONS For Pinklatex

The girls at Pinklatex are the last but certainly not least that dared to answer my 5 all-too- important questions. Pinklatexblog.com is ran by Collie, Rusty and Jenn. Go to their site and you'll have a great time. I've been interacting with them for the last couple of years and it has been a true pleasure.

The girls are hilarious and right on target with their acerbic commentaries on today's pop culture figures. Pay a visit to their site and you'll see that they do a super fuckin' dandy job of making sarcastic (and very true) remarks about celebrities, Craigslist freaks and other odd fuckers in this world. Funny pics, podcasts, viral videos, wild, yet honest rants... They do it all.

Without further ado, here are the life-changing 5 Questions and Collie and Rusty's answers:

1. What is the most disturbing or oddest thing (picture, video or written material) you have ever seen on the internet? Please describe it.

Collie said:

I would have to say Goatsee. There was a picture of a gaping asshole that was circulating around the internet for many years. One day my husband called me over the computer and said will you reply back to my father about the weekend? I said yes and when I sat down a picture popped up... this nasty giant butt hole complete with innards was staring me in the face... I have never been the same.

Rusty said:

Dale from Open Pride Radio introduced me to a special video in which a man inserts a bottle up his mangina as well as a screwdriver into the head of his peen, very unattractive indeed, we all laughed really very hard.

2. What celebrities would you like to see involved in an orgy? Please describe any details going on in your fantasy orgy.

Collie said:

Carrot Top

Brad Pitt (because with his scruffy beard he looks like a sexy Bum)

Chui (Chelsea Lately)

Snooki

Bruce Jenner

I Love mutants, and what better way to see a mutant than in all there naked glory, We will place them in a baby pool filled with pickle juice... Snooki goes in for the kill, half diving into the juice screaming HELL YEAH BITCHES, she lands on Chui, he dies. Brad Pitt is suckling the ear of the uber tight Bruce Jenner while carrot top watches and lovingly blows himself.

Rusty said:

Me, Davey Havok, Bowie, and perhaps a little Robert Pattinson and Daniel Radcliffe. I call the shots, its just me having a rockin' roll Harry Potter all out orgy, what, they are all of age now, especially Bowie.

3. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

Collie said:

I would vote yes, however if I was one of said swimmers I would pretend to go down with the ship while using my dying team mates as a make shift raft, before I eat them for survival.

Rusty said:

If they include Michael Phelps, he is the only one required to die, but a little death and destruction is always nice, don't you agree, Kel?

Kelly says:

Thanks for asking, Rusty. Why yes, a little death and destruction is always nice, especially when you wake up in the morning (or in my case, the afternoon) and see a bright and beautiful day outside. Well, then, it's a wonderful time to go on a killing spree, of course.

4. What really makes you happy?

Collie said:

Carbs, sleep and survival shows... sometimes just picking on Rusty is more than enough to keep me happy.

Rusty said:

Food, cigarettes, vigorous intercourse, and lighting the boy who sings Johanna in Sweeney Todd on fire, any questions?

5. Finish this statement... Craigslist is good for...

Collie said:

Selling yourself on the black market as well as your chachkis... Or maybe trading homes... wtf is that about? Why would anyone trade a home?

Rusty said:

Well, its good for finding large meat hooks, prostitutes, mail order brides, traffiked Russian hookers, and people who enjoy being vigorously fisted for hours.

Thank you, Collie and Rusty, for participating in my Q & A fest. It's been fun!

For more fun, check out Pinklatex.

Power Madness and Public Pools

I thought I'd take a break from the oil spill series for a bit to talk about other, somewhat lighter subjects. Too much bad news and describing negative events tend to drop me in an emotional hole after awhile. But, I'll be back with my third installment, later. Promise.

A couple days ago, my wife and I went to the public pool. It's like some nasty nut house. You got your screaming, splashing monkeys (kids, to some), your ball throwing, sometimes-hitting-you-in-the-face teenagers and old fuckers wearing a collection of straps for a bathing suit, showing off their ugly skin splotches in all their glory.

I think some older folks dress this way, on purpose, just to make people sick. Who wants to see some old wrinkly, dried up fart showing off his gorilla back and gigantic boulder-like moles on his belly. And I won't even go on about the saggy man titties. I try not to look but it's like looking at a car wreck. It's just so damned hideous, you have to catch a glimpse, even it means your retinas are burned out by the overwhelming, powerful grotesqueness of such a freakish thong-wearing monster.

Goddamn, put something more on, please. In fact, I suggest hopping into a big burlap bag next time you want to show yourself in public. I'm trying to keep my food down, you bastards!

Not that I'm any prize. I have stretch marks on my stomach now from when I've lost weight the last year or so. If you want, you can trace them with your tongue. No, on second thought. Don't do that! I would giggle and cave your skull in with my fist.

And as far as caring what people wear, I don't care that much, except when you go to great extremes to be noticed. Then it becomes a weird, needy psychological malady on that person's part and I feel something must be pointed out. Like, get some mental help or stop doing that or both.

Getting back to our public pool outing...

Our main reason for going there was to get a tan and for me, to help with the non-catch skin condition on my hands I've described in an earlier post. We need to get tanner so we don't fry like bacon on our upcoming cruise to the Caribbeans. In regards to my eczema, I figured the chlorine and whatever other chemicals in the pool would help me with my hands and fingers- to help soften my skin and get the dead parts off. Sure enough, some of the old dead skin was starting to separate or shed from my new skin from being in the pool. I felt like a snake.

And no, I didn't shed and leave any skin in the pool for some numb nuts to come up for air and suddenly gulp my dead skin sheddings.

If anyone had seen the palms of my hands that day, when we got out of the pool, they likely would have screamed, pointed at me and declared, "Leper! Leper! This freak with leprosy must be destroyed at once!"

Then I, in turn, like Shrek, would begin a rampant, angry chase against the villagers and stab them with their pitchforks.... or something.

I'm just delighted as heck (sarcasm) that no members of the pool staff noticed I was wearing shorts (a big no-no), instead of swim trunks. There's a big sign at the front entrance of the pool about what you can and can't wear. They say you can't wear shorts, for one thing. No mention of thongs and straps around creases or bulges on the old, ugly or attention needy, of course.

As I was aimlessly walking around the pool, unable to swim because of the frantically mobile kiddies thrashing about, I began thinking about the old saying, Absolute power corrupts absolutely and suddenly thought of that phrase in several different perspectives.

For one, if you had the super abilities of a super hero, would your powers eventually lead you to doing more for yourself than others? Perhaps subtly pushing you to use your power(s) against someone? I would think that human nature and primal instincts might eventually take over and have some negative aspects on you- even if you believe and have convinced yourself that scenario wouldn't happen.

I, myself, think that wouldn't happen to me, but, humans (myself, included, unfortunately) can be unpredictable. Anyone with a speck of common sense can see that and have likely experienced that.

Having too much of anything is bad for humans and their race, in general. Too much money. Too many vices. Too much time wasted. Too much hate. And yes, too much love- if that love takes away from your own self worth or respect and places its powerful drive and purpose solely on that other person, group or organization.

In summary, I believe power can be a dangerous drug or influence for us, humans. We don't have the discipline or wisdom to use it the right way or in a potentially lethal circumstance most of the time. Our ever-advancing technology and intelligence (oh, really?) surpasses our more positive virtues with more frequency than the other way around.

No peeing in the community pool, kids!

You'll Thank Me Later For This In Your Dreams Tonight

Just keep watching this over and over and soon you'll be flying off throughout the universe, riding the moon of Titan, singing the songs of other multi-dimensional beings, while challenging them to an artistic duel. Yep.

Dressed As The Statue of Liberty

It's amusing to see someone dressed as the Statue of Liberty, on the side of the road, waving at the passing cars. The ones responsible for this silliness is a company called Liberty Tax Service. I'm not sure if you have seen any of these people, dressed in the turquoise gowns with a crown of matching color before, but it's a little freaky to witness. I know. It's a job. Somebody has to do it.

I've seen these guys and girls in three different states so far and in every instance I see somebody in the SOL costume, I can't help but to laugh. I've seen a few of them rollerskating, doing their moves and seeming to have a good time with the job. Others, I've witnessed, will be dancing around or doing cartwheels on the side of the road. One of these times, I'm afraid I'll see one of them tumble out in the street and get crushed by a semi-truck. That would be shocking. How would you like to die with that get-up on? That would be embarrassing, to go out like that.

Lately, I've been seeing either this one chick or dude on the corner curb, in costume, waving frantically, smiling like a loon and jumping up and down while it has been either raining or snowing outside. That would suck -to have to be out in the snow, freezing your ass off in a Statue of Liberty outfit. The costumes don't look very warm. I guess they're attempting to keep warm with all the movement they're doing.

No matter what the weather is like, they're always so happy looking, nearly bursting with joy. That's great. Keep a positive attitude, no matter what you have to do to earn a living.

My first instinct,when we slowly pass one of these folks, is to give them "the finger". But, since I've had my fair share of doing some embarrassing things for my employers in the past, I kinda feel sorry for them. When I worked at a grocery store, I had to dress up in a Twinkie The Kid costume. It was hot, bulky and a real bitch handing out free Twinkies to a bunch of snot nosed brats all day long.

Still, the image of me rolling down the passenger side window, sticking my bare ass out towards these Statues of Liberty people and squirting projectile watery shit at one of them does make me smile. Give 'em some of that wacky sprinkler activity. I guess that's a natural impulse, though. At least it is for me. Would doing that be considered impolite?

But I would never do something like that.

I'm too much of a gentleman. :-) Actually, the real reasons I wouldn't do something so cruel to any of them is because I'm just too old and mature for those types of shenanigans, anymore.

Plus, I wouldn't want some asshole treating me with disrespect while I'm working, doing a job most of us wouldn't want to do. I will go as far as making a funny face at them at times while waving back at them. Sometimes, both my wife and I will put on our "stroke faces" where one side of our mouths are turned downwards, as our faces are pressed against the car window. We do that, at times, for laughs. They seem to really enjoy that, waving back at us with even more enthusiasm than before.

That makes me feel good.

What You Can See At The Gym

I go to the community center in town. I'm trying to shed pounds to get my blood sugar count down and look halfway decent in a pair of swim trunks when I go on a cruise this summer. The center has a quiet workout gym, featuring treadmills, stationary cycles, weight lifting equipment, rowing machines and so forth. Best of all, it's free. The equipment is top notch. Clean towels. Those are the positives. And going down there four days a week does help me lose the weight.

So far, I've worked out next to several old flabby guys and gals who look like they could keel over from overexertion at any moment. Their faces get red. Some turn pale. Most are breathing hard and I think one of them exhaled deeply and relieved himself. I smelled something.

Precious moments.

Then you have the overachievers. The Type A go-getter personality group who run 60 mph on a treadmill for thirty or more minutes. Some of them even live long enough to take a towel and wipe the oceans worth of sweat off their brow. Are they showing off? What's the deal with that. Can I hook you up to some kind of machine or a giant, electrified hamster wheel at my place that will help keep my utility bill down? You run. I'll zap ya with a cattle prod. You know, for kicks.

Another group that amuses me and annoys me a bit are the 18 to 24 year olds with stick legs, running their asses off on the treadmills. I guess being anorexic isn't enough for them. They're shooting for being skeletal. Yeah, that's attractive. Bony, over tanned legs with the flat chest that usually accompanies them.

I'm usually watching one or both of the wide screen televisions above me. One will usually have Fox News on. If I'm lucky, and I usually am, in this respect, the sound will be off so I won't hear the biased, conservative, ridiculous comments being made . The other tv will feature a sports game. So I guess the gym staff figure you're either a jock or a jerk when you sign up. Anyway, it's free, quiet and clean. And there are big mirrors, below the tv, in front of you, so you can see who's huffing and puffing and about to hit the floor. Entertainment!

There's also a guy, part of the staff, who's a little on the slow side who asks if you need anything while you're exercising. He also limps. While I make a few un-politically correct jokes about such people in some of my posts, I don't think they're any less human than anyone else. But I do wonder about this guy, at times. Well, just one time. My wife went down today, for her second time since signing up and walked on the treadmill next to the stick leg girls. While just casually walking and doing her own thing, the slow guy mumbles and says, "Can I get you anything?" She said he was staring at her breasts for a long time.

I replied, "Well, maybe he was DUMBfounded by their size." Ha ha. Get it? I'm sorry. I'm bad. Hell has a special room for me, waiting. I feel bad. Maybe if I look at some nice big jiggly breasts, I will feel better.

Gratefully, the slow guy moved on to another woman carrying an oxygen tank with one hand and riding a stationary bike. He's a nice guy. He helps her to her car when she's ready to leave.

It can be an amusing and motivational time at the gym. And it's free. Did I mention that a few times already?

Pregnant Midget--Caption This

Now how in the hell does that come out of her?

Tree Man- Before And After

When I first heard the story about the "Tree Man", the Indonesian fisherman suffering from human papillomavirus, HPV, a rare immune deficiency, I was interested in learning more.

For 20 years, Dede Koswara lived and struggled with something you think you would only see in a horror flick. Covered with huge tree-like growths encasing his limbs, Dede was unable to feed himself, work and move about like a normal human being. The only income he had was made during his brief stint in a travelling freak show. Unable to touch his children and support them, Dede's life has been a life of constant struggle.

Luckily, there are doctors that are trying save this man from a life of pain and disfigurement. Dede has just underwent his 9th surgery.

Details about his condition, his two decades of hardship associated with the disease and the major operations that were performed to give this man his life back are detailed in the following links and video clips.

Tree Man on Discovery Channel

The Story of Dede

Tree Man's Ninth Surgery










Be sure to check it all out and be sure to be thankful you don't have to live with tree branches growing from your arms, legs and feet.