This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Toadie in "The Christmas Trip" (Part 2)

Click here for Part 1 of this enchanting story. Now, where was I? Oh yes, here we go...

It wasn't long before both road weary travelers slipped beneath the sheets and fell fast asleep in each of their own beds at the Sheraton hotel. Toadie was lying on his stomach, snoring. During the first few moments of Toadie's slumber, Toadie's anus began it's symphony of sweet, melodious flatulence. This was the result of consuming massive amounts of chili earlier in the afternoon. Who could have guessed that a displeasing incident would occur after just a few hours of rest? Unfortunately, the mentally challenged man's rectum reached a gaseous frenetic crescendo, producing a geyser of diarrhea that spurted through the top bed covers over his lower torso and splattered down atop Toadie's hairy backside.

Instead of waking him, Toadie was influenced in his dreams by the spattering shit juice. Still sound asleep, Toadie cried out, "Toadie loves standing beneath the spray of the waterfall!"

Then Toadie giggled, childlike and endearingly.

Valerie and Toadie awoke the following morning, feeling refreshed but not feeling quite so clean. Valerie sat up in her bed, yawned and felt sticky. After opening her eyes, she noticed small brown blotches on her arms and in her hair. She screamed, instantly, when she realized the blotches was feces. Toadie woke up to Valerie's shriek and quickly sat on the edge of his bed. When he saw Valerie covered with spots of anal gravy, he began to laugh, heartily. Laughing, in turn, gave Toadie a rising woodie.

Valerie's scream increased in volume when she saw Toadie. The somewhat dim-witted 33 year old was completely covered in butt broth. He appeared to be a hideous, hairy, chocolate colored monster. And to make matters worse, he was beating off. When Valerie could no longer scream, she violently retched until the contents of her stomach had emptied onto the floor. Toadie, of course, spooged into the lake of vomit.

After they got cleaned up, they quickly got dressed and got back into the car before the hotel's staff could get wind, so to speak, of what had transpired during their stay. As Val and her jovial co traveler jumped in the car and made a hasty getaway, Toadie rejoiced, "Toadie thinks this is a Shit and Run."

Despite what Val had endured, she felt compelled to cackle at Toadie's pun. Maybe it was stress, she wondered.

Traveling westward, Val and Toadie stopped in the small town of Calvin, Oklahoma. Valerie turned down the radio that had been playing incessant Christmas music for the last couple states. Toadie's eyes had glazed over during half of the westerly travel and he was singing, with much exuberance, to every festive tune played. This was tearing at Valerie's patience.

She had an idea.

Valerie pulled into the driveway of an old abandoned, dilapidated farmhouse and said to Toadie, "Hey Toadie, you know what's more fun than singing to Christmas music?"

Toadie replied, "Toadie is thinking of snow and herpes."

Valerie said, "No, Toadie, this is more fun." With that said, she withdrew a bag of marijuana from her purse.

"Wow," said Toadie. Then he said, "Toadie likes oregano."

Valerie smiled and then countered, "This is the blessed herb, my friend."

Soon, after they shared a few joints, Toadie seemed to calm down and relax, which was what Valerie was shooting for. She was even able to turn to a rock station on the radio without any debate or quarrel with Toadie. Before, he had thrown a fit if she had tried doing that.

Toadie took a toke and handed the rolled ganja back to Valerie. He felt different then and began to see things quite differently. Valerie sucked on the joint, then handed it back, coughing a little. A smile soon spread across her face.

Stoned and content, Toadie turned to Valerie and said, "This shit's good."

Valerie, surprised that Toadie didn't refer to himself in the third person when he just spoke, asked, "Are you okay?"

Toadie replied, "Are any of us really okay? The term 'okay' is subjective, I believe."

Valerie thought she had smoked too much. Toadie was beginning to sound intelligent and even a bit profound to her ears and mind.

Then Toadie put his arm around her and said, "And now I have an idea... if you're game for it, Val."

Valerie said, "Uh-oh... I created a monster." Then she looked down and saw that the man's rigid, impressively sized prick was peeping out at the top of his sweatpants. Toadie smiled at Valerie. Her face showed a look of lust and admiration of his peeping prick's length and girth.

Valerie lightly brushed her fingers along the fat head of Toadie's cock and coyly asked, "Does this idea of yours have something to do with this Yule log you're sporting?" The college student licked her lips.

Toadie chuckled and then answered his companion with a question, "Are you ready for a little Christmastime type adventure?"

Valerie nodded, not knowing what to expect, but she felt game for it- especially if it had something to do with wrapping her lips around Toadie's massive candy cane.

Earlier, on their way through the small town of Calvin, Toadie had noticed several things. One, there a guy in a snowman suit holding up a large sign in the small business area of Calvin. And two, the sign had announced that there would be a town Christmas festival, featuring a church choir of Christmas carolers that would be singing in front of the Town Hall later on that night.

Under Toadie's guidance, Toadie had Val drive them back to the business area of town and wait until the guy in the snowman suit took his lunch break. They didn't have to wait long. When the guy took off for an hour for lunch, he left his snowman suit in the hardware store he had been standing in front of most of the morning.

Toadie slipped inside the store, unnoticed and hurriedly grabbed the suit. His plan was well underway.

Later that evening, at the Town Hall, the mayor of Calvin went up on the stage and invited the St. Mary's Christmas Choir to come up and sing their extensive mix of religious and holiday numbers for the town audience.

As the choir sang "Silent Night", Toadie and Valerie were smoking a blunt in an alley nearby. They felt they needed a little inspiration for the next part of his plan. A couple minutes passed and they were thoroughly fried out of their minds and giggling.

Toadie got out of the car in the dark alley and put on the snowman suit. Valerie helped him put it on. Once that was accomplished, they ran off toward the town's tall, garishly decorated Christmas tree, which happened to stand close to the Town Hall stage. Once there, Valerie reached into Toadie's snowman suit where a hole had been strategically cut out, allowing for Toadie's jolly joystick to escape and stand up, proud and fully engorged. Valerie was increasingly getting wetter as she grappled Toadie's meaty member, stroking it and finally pulling it out of it's "escape hatch".

Valerie eyed Toadie's skin flute with unconstrained desire, turned around and hurriedly pulled down her pants, exposing her bare wet n' ready pussy and puckered asshole. Toadie squirt a little lube from a tube onto Valerie's tender piss flaps after she went down on the ground on her hands and knees. And before you could say "Santa Claus is comin' to town", Toadie repeatedly inserted his beefy bologna into Valerie's delicate dripping slit, causing Valerie to gasp, shriek and moan just as the choir sang the verse, "O come, all Ye Faithful."

The townsfolk and church choir, upon hearing Val's cries of extreme surprise and intense ecstasy, quickly ran over to see where the commotion was coming from. They gazed in awe as they witnessed a snowman savagely fucking Valerie in the cunt.

"My goodness!" cried out the priest. Secretly, however, the holy man's prick was quite hard from the sight.

The mayor, speechless at first, was finally able to ask, "What do you think you're doing with this woman?"

The snowman turned his head and said to the mayor, "I'm fucking her, you dumb ass."

Unrelenting, the snowman continued to plow the depths of Valerie's coochie while the crowd gathered and watched. Valerie's eyes rolled to the back of her head as she moaned so loud, you could swear the sound was coming from an ambulance siren. The citizens of Calvin had never before seen such a spectacle take place in their normally uneventful municipality. Some citizens fainted. Others were outraged. More than a few were aroused, rubbing their crotches, instilled with primal cravings.

Finally, the snowman spurted jets of baby batter into Valerie's gaping twat. After moments of relieving his swollen "snowballsack", Toadie got up, leaving Valerie on her hands and knees, satisfied and dripping with jizz globs and pussy juice. Soon, several police cars were pulling up alongside the curb of Town Hall, after receiving word of a strange public disturbance.

Before the local police were able to get out of their patrol cars, Valerie pulled up her pants and quickly ran after her snowman lover to the nearby back alley where they had parked the car.

Luckily, they were able to escape the pursuing cops and were able to make it to another town without being caught. Once they were sure they were no longer being followed, Val and Toadie checked into a hotel and continued celebrating the holidays in their own special way.

Toadie and Valerie had many other wonderful adventures during their Christmas trip around the country and when they finally made their way back to Rufus' and Maggie's mansion in Chicago, they expressed that they wanted to continue seeing each other. Rufus and Maggie were thrilled that Toadie had finally found someone in his life that he could truly love and share great times with.

And now, gentle readers, our delightful Christmas story has come to an end. I hope you will all have a holly jolly, very Merry Christmas. Peace be with all you!

For previous Toadie stories, click on any of these links:


Gorilla Bananas said...

Toadie and Valerie should be invited to the next Yeti orgy in Nepal. Toadie's dick is almost big enough to satisfy a virgin Yeti, and Valerie's bucket-like vagina would be very popular with the boys.

THE SNEE said...

YIKES KELLY! My cheeks reddened on that story! Have you considered writing for the urban dictionary? My below the belt anatomy vocabulary actually quadrupled. I hope it helps me on the verbal portion of my GREs. Merry Christmas dear friend, and clearly avoid snowmen sporting open zippers.

klahanie said...

Wow! Now wasn't that a fun-packed adventure. The more I read about Toadie and his escapades, the more I want to be like him. Valerie is one lucky gal. Do you think there might be the possibility of an upcoming or for that matter a cumming wedding?
I can see the snowman as the best snowman at the wedding. Of course, depending on the time of year, a very large fridge may be required before the snowman hands over the ring to Toadie. Just a thought.
There's a chocolate fountain at a Chinese restaurant I frequent. I stay well away from it.
And, at first glance, the picture of the snowman's arm looked rather like a big white dick. Sorry, I'm rambling. Thanks for this delightful Christmas tail, I mean tale.
May you and your loved ones have a really pleasant Christmas.
Kind wishes and some snow balls, your way, Gary:-)

Kelly said...

Gorilla Bananas- I attended last year's Yeti orgy and before the end of the evening, things got a little hairy. I relayed the message from you to Toadie about the possibility of his meat pole being sizable enough to satisfy a virgin yeti. Toadie laughed, farted and then said, "Bears scare Toadie."

Kelly said...

THE SNEE- Lol. Your cheeks were a bit flushed, were they? No, I've never considered writing for them but I could certainly add to their list of slang. I've been influenced, from youth til now, by George Carlin, Richard Pryor, National Lampoon magazine, Kurt Vonnegut, Douglas Adams and countless others when it comes to my vocabulary, observations and sense of humor.

I hope I could help with verbal portion of your GRE's, Rebecca and I wish you have a very peaceful Merry Christmas. Thanks for wishing me the same.

Kelly said...

klahanie- Yes, it was a rather rousing romp, eh, ol' chap? You're welcome for the 'tail'. Gosh, golly, gee whiz and then some.

Valerie is one lucky gal, for sure. But after having so many fun-filled escapades with the ol' Toadster, she's having trouble walking correctly. It seems her uterus has blown out. Maybe duct tape would help.

There could very well be a wedding for the two lovebirds. The snowman as best man would be a dandy idea. Maybe he could wear the ring on the icicle between his legs.

I wouldn't trust that chocolate fountain at the Chinese restaurant, either... especially after what happened to me with the "pubic hair incident". You say the snowman's arm first appeared to be a big white dick? What Christmas tree have you been smoking, man? lol.

Hey, Gary, if I don't talk to you sooner than Christmas Day, for whatever reason, I hope you, your son and Penny have a good and peaceful Christmas. Stay well, my friend.

Gucci Mama said...

Oh, how I've missed you. So glad to have pulled myself out of my drunken, Christmas hating stupor to come over here today. Hilaaarrious.

Oh, I'm drunk. And I hate Christmas.

Did I mention that?

bazza said...

May you and all of your loved ones have a wonderful Christmas and New Year with best wishes from Bazza of ‘To Discover Ice’

Kelly said...

Gucci Mama- Thanks, Stephanie. I'm equally glad you could pull yourself out of your drunken stupor to pay me a visit, too. glad ya liked the lil' holiday tale I cooked up.

You hate Christmas? Hmmm... I think I've seen you mention than a few times. Haha. For the record, I hate Christmas, too. Maybe for different reasons than you. The only time I feel Christmassy anymore is when I'm out looking at lights here and there. Other than that, my family ensures I will get no peace or joy out of it. If I could escape, I'd take the first plane to the Bahamas. Woo hoo!

Take care. I won't wish you a Merry (you know what) because I know you hate it. :)

Kelly said...

bazza- Thank you, man. I wish you, your family and especially your grandson, a very peaceful and hopeful Christmas and New Year. Take care, Bazza.

Static said...

Happy Kwanzaa and Snowman shooting.

Kelly said...

Thanks, Static. Shoot the snowman? But they're our friends. :)

Related Posts with Thumbnails

  © Blogger template ProBlogger Template by 2008

Back to TOP