An Interview With Myself (Part One)

During the last post, regarding newly given awards and "amazing predictions", I said was going to skip over the rule about naming the seven most important events in my life or some shit like that.  Since I, ahead of time, knew I would be doing this bit, I figured why bother.  It would be repetitious and with this present post, possibly a two parter, if I get too chatty or start rambling on about this or that, then posting up those seven amazing moments would make it seem I've got the ego the size of Donald Trump's or Mitt Romney's own ego.  And who wants to see that?  Gosh, certainly not magnificent lil' ol' me.

As the title suggests, I will be interviewing myself, revealing things I may have mentioned before here, some things I've never revealed, but also adding some clarification to misconceptions.  I'll also be adding some traces of sardonic or dry humor that some individuals may or may not perceive, successfully, depending on how sharp of mind that being is.  Not that I'm putting anyone down for having the intelligence quotient well below a snail's turd- but there have been times when I've read the comments on my blog or ones I've read on other's blogs and I've found it somewhat disconcerting to realize there's more than a few, uh, how should I put this in polite terms... mmm... dumbasses out there?

But, being the helluva guy I am, I'm throwing caution to the wind and going on with the show.  I want to inform you, my friends, entertain you and gently coddle you like tiny baby birds in a wasp's nest, keeping you feeling all warm and secure, inside and out.  No shocking diatribes, sarcasm and crude humor found in this humble abode of mine, I can assure you.  I certainly wouldn't do that to get an individual's attention to make one simple, friggin' point.

Ahh... there I go again with the friendly, idle chit chat.  On with the interview:

Inquisitor Kelly:  What's with the clowns?  Everyone believes you have this vested interest with clowns because of the heading on your page.  It's loaded with repeated images of clowns.  Are you afraid of clowns?  Do they arouse you, in some undetermined way?  A lot of folks, on and off this blog, have brought this "highly interesting' subject up time and time again and have this deep desire to know what's up with that.

Honest Kelly: I really don't care one way or another about clowns, actually.  When I conferred with the co-designer of the web page's layout, a couple years ago, she suggested that I keep the image of the clown from my old layout to use with this layout.    Her daughter even drew me up a jazzy, nifty looking clown and I have kept it on the blog ever since.  Why clowns?  I agreed for the sake of keeping with the theme of the blog.  Not because I like clowns or want to, hopefully, fuck one so hard in the ass one day that it's bright red colon explodes- but because of practical reasons. And to be truthful, I think every human being is a clown, just at different levels.  Some are more obvious than others.   Because of the clown question, it was, at one point, tiresome to read the same question over and over about it.  I didn't give a shit enough to give a reason for it.  Even now, I just don't care.  In fact, knowing that this insignificant image on my page supposedly frightens people, as I've heard it does with some freaks.. I mean... people... amuses me a tiny bit.

That goes for the black background on my site.  Some people say it's too hard to read my words on a post I'll put up.  To them I say, I like the black background.  Black matches the sometimes dark themes I bring up during my rants and stories on my charming blog.  I won't change it for anyone or for any reason.  Not for more followers.  Not for more hits on my pages.  In truth, the opinions of most people mean less than nothing to me.  This is because I'm too old, too wise and have had enough experience to imbue myself with the knowledge that people basically want things their way because they are selfish and narrow-minded.  Not to mention uptight and stupid.  Thanks for asking. 

Inquisitor Kelly: What was your childhood like?  Were you a normal kid?  Or were you a rowdy, screaming monkey child or what?

Honest Kelly: I grew up poor.  I lived in an old, four room, white-paneled house on farm land.  The cistern we drank out of, we found out later on, had quite a few dead and half-dead albino frogs in the water.  We didn't have a shower.  We poured buckets of water over our heads and washed with that water (which I think was from a creek up the hill) in a hand made metal stall my dad had built.

I had a swing and a tire on an apple tree I played on.  I also had a black and white cat named Pepsi, a German Shepherd named Happy and I often talked to an old large apple tree, out of loneliness, boredom and because I had a fertile imagination.  Finally, 6 years later, my sister was born.  I played with her toys, rode bikes with her and played with my own collection of Hot Wheels cars.  Each one of my Hot Wheels cars had his or her own personal name and military rank.  The President was in love with the Secretary.  Sometimes, I made them kiss.  The apple tree, outside, often told me to kill the useless weeds in the yard (they were the enemy).  So that I did, with pure, delightful abandon and with a large stick I'd whip around, cutting them down like a warrior.

Down the road, we had neighbor kids that enjoyed peeing into each other's mouths, for sport and dry humping the wiener dog.  They locked me in their spider-filled, completely dark old basement once, for hours.  They would make Kool-Aid, on hot summer days and their mom would serve it to us kids in unwashed, food-encrusted glasses.  I'm surprised, to this day, I'm still alive.  I'm not kidding about any of those details and I've talked about them a couple times on this blog.  When I was six, I had no idea what they were doing to their dog.  Later, I put it together and figured it out.  All I knew was that it's little doggy eyes rolled to the back of it's head while it lay on the slab of concrete while one of the brothers cheered on the human kid fucking it.

I found out later that Happy, my dog, was a bad doggy to a vet.  Dad said he had ran off one day.  No explanation was given.  I was shocked and saddened when I was told that as a kid.  When I was 16, Dad told me that he had to "put Happy down" because Happy suddenly bit a big meaty chunk out of a vet's arm during one of Happy's regular vet appointments.  The vet told Dad Happy had to be put down or he would make sure Happy was euthanized.  The way Dad described it, it took several shots to his big furry canine head before Happy finally died.  Hearing this story did not make me happy.  But I understood the reasoning a little later.  Happy could have killed me, at some point and that's what they were afraid of.  During our play time together, though, he was a really friendly and honestly happy dog. 

On a happier note: I really enjoyed the walks mom and I would take down the old gravel road that was named after us because Dad had done so much work on it, himself.

Every week, it seemed, we would pay a visit or visits to my grandma and grandpa's farm down the old country lane.  I was mostly a very shy, quiet kid.  I played with my Aunt Kay.  I remember one particular time when we set white milk stools together, down on their sides on the floor, in a line and sat in the open spaces.  We pretended that we were riding in a train and made "choo- choo' noises.  Those were fun times.  My Aunt Kay, who was more of a sister to me, now and then, says that she used to bully me.  I don't know about that.  Maybe it's repressed memories.

She would play tricks on me, of course.  She was a little jealous of sweet lil ol' me because I was the "new baby",so to speak, of the family.  It had been her for awhile.  One time, she blindfolded me and told me to take a big bite out of this juicy apple she had in her hand.  So I did as she directed, as trusting and innocent as a kid I was.  But no, it was a tomato, not an apple.  I shouted, "Yuck!"  I quickly took off the blindfold.  When I saw the mushy pulp and seeds of the tomato I wanted to puke, preparing my taste buds, beforehand, for a sweet, juicy apple.  To this day, I won't eat a tomato.  They repulse me.  I'd rather lick a cow's taint than eat a fucking tomato.

Pretty visual, eh? 

Because I was shy, I often got bullied on the buses, as I grew up.  I didn't know you could be thought of as being "stuck up", too, for being quiet but I heard it whispered that, that was another reason I was bullied so horribly.  Four to five bigger kids would gang up on me and smash their hard back school books on the back of my head on the school buses.  A few would punch my face.  The school bus driver would watch the action, in his rear view mirror and do nothing.  He was famous for this.  Anytime there was a fight or bullying, he did nothing and reported nothing.  I was too ashamed to tell my parents about it so they more or less didn't know about it.

I made a few friends in grades 1-8 in parochial school.  They were a couple of "misfits", as well, because they would not be picked out for team sports and were quiet and whatever else kids (and for that matter, adults) would use- as an excuse to pick on them and I.

Speaking of bullies, that's a subject that really pisses me off on many levels.  With all this texting and facebooking gossip shit going on between kids, telling lies and being cruel, kids these days are really having a hellish time with bullying these days.  They sometimes end up killing themselves, in fact, from what you read in the paper and on the Internet.  It makes me sick.  I hear and see crap about gangs of girls kicking the shit out of other girls and I wonder what the hell kind of values are their parents teaching them. Even my niece is getting bullied by school girls, calling her names and filling up her locker full of tampons, of all things.  My sister didn't put up with it, of course.  She went to the principal and told him to get something done about it or else.  Because of her being pro-active, it has stopped.

These days, there are more and more school departments or people you can go to if you're on the receiving end of bullying, but more, clearly needs to be done about it.  Kids shouldn't be killing themselves and feeling like they're not worthy of the respect they should be given during the time they're in school or out of it.   

I read a lot of books when I was young.  I also wrote a lot of stories, mostly about my parakeets, cats and my dog.  A lot of vivid imagination and descriptive wording (not so much that it was shocking and it was never vulgar) went into them and I was told I was a very creative writer by my English teacher.  I liked the compliment as they were few and far between.  Unfortunately, I had a teacher who thought I had too vivid an imagination.  I never wrote anything perverted, if that's what you're wondering.  I was just a kid.  The teacher's name was Mrs. Patterson.  She was one of two or three teachers who wasn't a nun at the school by the old church- but she did fancy herself as an amateur psychologist.  She really thought she knew a lot about psychology.  The bitch even tried to suggest to my parents that there was something wrong with me.  My parents were young and didn't know any better (I was their first kid) so they tried to convince me there was something wrong with me, too and that I should seek counseling.  I think I was like ten years old at the time.  It was around this time, I found out I was half-deaf, due to all the ear infections I had as a kid.

I had a fit, cried quite a bit and it really caused me to question adults and their fucked up motives.  Before that, I was questioning the motives of adults because of all the violent news of the Vietnam war that would be shown on TV.  Even at the ripe old age of ten, I knew it was wrong and I thought, quite often, what kind of mess of beings have I been thrown into, without permission.  These fuckers are nuts.  Well, I didn't think in exactly those words I just used, but it close enough.  I did think adults and kids were really messed up- not just because they bullied me but because they seemed to be preoccupied by violence- on TV and everywhere else.

This is me, when I was a kid ( had blonde hair until I was six), plus another pic of mom and I, when I was older and we were fishing at the time: 

Later, I went to high school, joined Drama Class, wrote articles for the school newspaper, continued to write serious and humorous stories, acted in plays, had a poem published, went to a lot of parties, got drunk and fried and really started opening up to people and getting pretty wild, in general.  My personality changed quite a bit in high school.  I was the one who started trends without even meaning to do that.  In reality, just as I do today, I just do whatever I feel like doing- within reason.  I'm not a serial killer.  And I don't sodomize animals on Tuesdays.

I've never tried to be rebellious or a non-conformist type of person.  One friend suggested that I was trying to be that way on purpose once.  That made me laugh and I replied, "If you know anything about me, you know I'm honest about what I say and about my own actions- to a fault."  And he said, "Yeah... you're right," after thinking it over for a little while and recalling the years of our twenty year friendship.  I just feel like doing whatever fits for me.  The need, as it did when I was kid, to fit in, doesn't work for me.  I'm my own person.  To each person, I believe, they should go his or her own way.  To the rest of those who blindly follow without questioning, fuck 'em. 

Inquisitor Kelly:  Would you say adults who were bullies or even adults who weren't bullies when they were children, but are now, don't understand what effect they have on people?  And perhaps, in fact, don't give a shit about what effect they have on people? 


      

Honest Kelly:  I think there are many people or groups of people who fall under the category of "Bullydom."  It's funny you should ask me this, Kelly.  But maybe it isn't so odd, since you are, in fact, me.  I wanted to do a blog post on bullies for a long time now.  And now... look!  I finally made it here.  Looks like the subject is being intertwined within this interview, after all.  Ha ha ha.  I'm laughing to myself, literally, I suppose.

There are, indeed, adults who are bullies.  Sometimes they are parents who really shouldn't be breeding, having children and shouldn't be brainwashing them with their own distorted viewpoints, neither should there be bosses who abuse their hiring/firing, pay raising/lowering power, police officers that abuse their authority and corporate entities that squeeze money out of the middle class and the poor for their own profits and gains.

Corporations can be the worst of all evils and of all bullies because they try to control and bully us in our short, precious lives here on Earth by pushing us into corners we have no escape from.  Sometime, you might feel a temporary escape by taking an anti-depressant (which makes your misery profitable for big pharmaceutical companies) or by doing cocaine, drinking booze or worse (which makes it profitable for drug cartels and, in turn, for the DEA and law officers- if you do your research).

Let's face it!  If we didn't outlaw drugs, there would be a lot of space in those jails and prisons and then where would the states and the government make their money?  Hell, we might have to actually put it into schools to educate kids, pay teachers what they deserve, hire and keep firefighters, fix roads or some other practical purpose.  God forbid!

I see, in the future, tobacco products becoming completely illegal within the next twenty years.  This will be great news for organized crime and others.  Just like it was when they made weed illegal.  Read that entire story here.  It will either disgust you or shock you or both.  Or maybe you just don't care.  A lot of people don't care about their privacy and personal freedom, either.  Look around!  There are sheeple, everywhere!  People have always had the (un)natural "talent" of being able to ignore being shit on or becoming obedient slaves to a centuries old man made system. 

Btw, marijuana, being made illegal, was great news and carefully planned by folks like our government and rich, white assholes such as Harry J. Aslinger and William Randolph Hearst.  Both had vested interests, for their careers, to make weed out to be an addictive drug, capable of killing and driving one insane.  Nonsense!!!  

The silly 1930's flick, Reefer Madness, was nothing more than a propaganda film, intended to scare the public.  Instead, it's watched today as if it is an absurd comedy movie. Good ol' propaganda!  Kind of like drawing people into a war with a country, in the name of patriotism, that we have no business in being in- except to drum up business for rich white people in corporate hierarchies.  They have what we want!  Let's wage war on them!  We'll set up our democracy there, afterwards, to keep the profits rolling in.

Well gang, I'm getting pretty tired.  I have just enough energy to do a quick re-read of what I've written, take a quick piss and hit the bed sheets with my exquisite self.  I think I will continue the second part of this interview another time.  Hope you enjoyed it.  I have more to say, since I'm a rambler, but it will have to wait.

Unusual International Laws

If you thought the American legal system was screwed up, in some ways, have a look at these laws around the world.

In Australia it's illegal to hire a woman under the age of 45 to work as a chorus girl.

Horses in Mukden, China, are required to wear diapers and their owners are required to empty them at regular intervals in specially made receptacles. (And if you think the diaper of a baby is loaded, imagine how much crap is in a horse's)

In Italy, a man may be arrested for simply wearing a skirt.

This guy should definitely not be wearing a skirt.

If you curse within earshot of a woman in Egypt, the law there says you must forfeit two days' pay.

In Switzerland they have some serious hang ups about doing some pretty normal things on a Sunday. For instance: Clothes may not be hung to dry on a Sunday. You may not wash your car on a Sunday. And it is considered an offense to mow your lawn on a Sunday because it causes too much noise.

In Toronto, Canada, law requires pedestrians to give hand signals before turning.

You must pay a $600 fine in Thailand if you're caught throwing away chewed bubble gum on the sidewalk.

In Germany, every office must have a view of the sky, no matter how small of a view it is. (This one may not make sense but it is very humane.)

English law forbids marrying your mother-in-law. (But then, why would you want to do that, anyway? Geesh!)

Swedish law prohibits trained seals from balancing balls on their noses.

Paris law forbids spinning tops on sidewalks... and staring at the mayor.

In England it's against the law to sue the queen- or to name your daughter "Princess" without the queen's permission.

In Teruel, Spain, the law forbids you from taking hot baths on Sunday. Cold baths are fine.

In Reykjavik, Iceland, it's illegal to keep a dog as a pet.

If you're arrested for drunk driving in Malaysia, both YOU AND YOUR WIFE go to jail. (Doesn't seem fair, does it?)

In Shanghai, China, red cars are outlawed. Other car colors are assigned according to the owner's profession.

Disturbing Trend of Small Town Crimes By Cops and Crazies

The folks in my surrounding area are getting a little too crazy... even for me. I think I liked it better when they were all just a bunch of boring, redneck hillbillies that just sat around drinking beer and renting DVDs for their weekend's entertainment. There was a time when our neighboring big city of Cincinnati was getting all the bad press and media attention for gang related murders and widespread police brutality toward innocent and elderly people. You know... The easier targets.

Now the small town area I live in is getting that kind of attention this year. Some of the news is even garnering national media attention.

Explanation

In the town of Rising Sun, Indiana, a couple rinky dink towns away from me, a boy by the name of Andrew Conley, 18 years old, decided to strangle his 10 year old brother to death because he wanted to be like the main character in the TV show, Dexter. Dexter is a serial killer in the show and apparently, Andrew was a big fan. The news of the murder made headlines across the U.S. and everyone expressed disbelief it had happened in such a small town.

At the time of the murder, Andrew was 17.

Andrew confessed to the murder, while in court, very calmly and gave intricate details to the judge and the courtroom audience of how it all went down.

Andrew explained that he choked his younger brother while they were playing around and wrestling on the ground until the boy passed out. He said he then dragged his brother into the kitchen, put on gloves and continued strangling him for at least 20 minutes. Andrew then confided that he put the boy's head into two plastic bags.

A coroner testified that Andrew's brother, Conner, may have still been alive for minutes or hours after that point, but the bags helped suffocate him and Conley repeatedly banged the boy's head on the ground before loading him in the trunk of his car to make sure he was dead.

Conley told psychologists he had been unable to stop and felt as if he were watching the murder outside himself. But the judge said that despite contradictory statements by Conley, experts agreed that he still knew what he was doing was wrong.

The judge discounted Conley's claims of remorse as "superficial and not sincere," saying he could have expressed remorse when he drove to give his girlfriend a promise ring with his brother's body in the trunk of his car but didn't.

The judge also noted that instead of telling his father what he had done the following morning, he asked for condoms and joked with his mother and watched football all day. Conley also calmly remarked that he had calmly stood over his sleeping father with a knife and considered cutting his throat.

Conley, now 18, was sentenced a month ago to life in prison without parole. The prosecutor said he couldn't get the death penalty because he was only 17 when the murder occurred.

A Couple of Florence Nightingales

Then we have two cases of two head nurses in two different nursing homes that were arrested for selling drugs; pain medication, to be exact, that was meant to be administered to two elderly women who were both suffering from terminal illnesses. One elderly lady was on morphine for her horrendous pain. The other, on a high dosage of Vicodin. Both of them died in agony due to the head nurses using the medication that was meant for them and instead, selling their medication for profit.

Who's Going To Protect Us From The Cops?

Then there is the disturbing trend, lately, where the cops in this area of small, strung together towns are getting in trouble for some pretty heinous crimes.

In the town I grew up in, a former Assistant Police Chief has been caught, arrested and fined for pilfering money from the police department he worked at. No jail time, however. He had been a cop there for close to twenty years.

Still another cop has been suspended, temporarily, from the force for two instances of Driving Under the Influence and crashing into someone on the last one.

Yet another cop, in my old hometown, has recently been arrested for beating his wife almost to death and he has been ticketed and given a little fine for his actions.

Even the mayor of the town I'm living in now has recently been arrested for driving under the influence and crashing into a parked vehicle.

Saving The Worst For Last

One former Assistant Police Chief was arrested earlier this year. This former Assistant Police Chief of one of these small towns in a Indiana police department will spend the next seven years in prison. The cop resigned in April of 2010 after being arrested for solicitation.

Police say the veteran police officer was chatting with whom he thought to be a 13 year old girl, who was, in fact, an undercover police officer in Ohio. The former Assistant Police Chief, while chatting away with the "young girl", also exposed his cock to her by way of using his son's computer and the son's web cam. It was later reported that he had flashed his genitals on several different occasions to other young girls, by way of web cam, after law enforcement officials confiscated the computer and checked out the history and video files on the hard drive and talking to victims of whom he flashed.

The court was thinking about fining "Officer Pervert" a shit load of money on top of his sentence but they decided, in the end, to refrain from doing so because his wife and two sons would be the ones to suffer. His wife, of nearly twenty years of marriage, is barely getting by as it is because she works at Wal-Mart. You know... Wal-Mart. That's the place where they treat their employees like shit and pay them next to nothing while they face and deal with the general public every day- a fate worse than death. I know. I was employed there for about three years.

Also, on a side note, if any employee at Wal-Mart is caught or rumored to have spoken about this woman's ex-cop husband (yes, she is still married to him) and the crime he committed, they have been told they will be immediately terminated on site.

By the way, I have nothing but absolute respect for anyone having to deal with an ungrateful, cold blooded team of management and your typical asshole customers every day. Much more so than anyone else in any other occupation- with the exception of firefighters, EMT's and people who help others out.

"Officer Pervert", who is 52 years old, had been a police officer for 25 years. As of now, this scumbag, piece-of-shit ex-cop remains held at the Switzerland County Detention Center until he can be moved to a state facility because they fear for his safety.

Hopefully, when they throw his sorry ass in prison, he will be eligible for the special Seven Year Plan of severe, sadistic anal raping as a lesson in justice.

Let's collectively cross our fingers, shall we?

The popular expression in our area, nowadays, is this:

If you wanna get a job as a cop with the police department- it's easy... Just commit a felony.

The Truth

All cops are not heroes and that's a fact, but because of the myth that "all cops are heroes," there's minimal call for disciplining bad cops, and maximal call for "forgiving," and "understanding" the tough work of being a cop. To me, that type of allowance is terrifying.

Police work is tough, of course. It's among the most difficult jobs in the world, work that deserves our respect. And turning a blind eye toward police misconduct by allowing crooked, corrupt, outright criminal cops to have long careers in law enforcement only makes it more difficult and dangerous for the good cops.

Letting cops get away with crime, or "punishing" police misconduct with long, leisurely paid suspensions, or probation, or sweet deals that allow a policeman's own police record to be expunged, or any of the other special treatments cops typically receive when they're accused of wrongdoing, is asinine and counterproductive.

And really, the same goes for any authority figure. They should be held accountable and the punishment for any wrongdoing on their part should be swift and harsh just because they have been given the responsibility of either leading and/or protecting people in their charge.

If you wish, I will gleefully volunteer for the job of doling out said punishments. I can be quite creative, I cheerfully assure you. I am smiling quite evilly now, as you can imagine. And can you just imagine me in charge of punishing such offenders? What fun everyone would have!

In The End

It's been an exciting year in my neck of the woods thus far. I wonder what will happen next in my sleepy little town. It's always been a source of mild amusement for me when reporters come around and do their usual commentary during these types of reports, saying the same routine phrase, "Well, you wouldn't think it could happen in such a small town like this but "so and so" committed _________ (fill in the blank for whatever shocking crime you can think of that could happen in a burg like mine).

Crazy True News and Crazy True Laws

The government of China executed twelve male and six female factory managers by firing squad at a refrigerator plant just outside Beijing in 1989 because the poor quality of their products constituted "unpardonable crimes against the people of China." Customers had complained for years about having to wait for refrigerators that were usually unusable when delivered.

Darrel Brown, 53, was convicted of defrauding the Veterans Administration of more than $700,000 by feigning paralysis for more than twenty years. He had been faithfully reporting to VA facilities during that time in a wheelchair after having bound his arms and legs tightly for days before visits so they would temporarily atrophy.

Farmers in an eastern Indian state have asked their unmarried daughters to plow parched fields naked in a bid to embarrass the weather gods to bring some badly needed monsoon rain, reported officials.

A Mississippi judge ordered an attorney to spend several hours in jail Wednesday after the attorney chose not to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in court. The Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal reported that Chancery Judge Talmadge Littlejohn told a court audience to rise and say the pledge. People in the courtroom said Danny Lampley of Oxford stood but did not say the words.

A horrified 8-year-old boy watched as his pet turtle disappeared into an alligator's jaws at an aquarium in the Florida Panhandle. Colton Guthrie had donated his pet red-eared slider, Tomalina, to the Gulfarium in Fort Walton Beach when the turtle outgrew her home aquarium. Colton's mother told the Northwest Florida Daily News Tuesday that the family saw workers place Tomalina in an exhibit Thursday with other red-eared sliders and an alligator.

Although the alligator had long ignored the other turtles, Brenda Guthrie said the gator ate Tomalina as Colton shouted, "Oh no, alligator, let it go!"

10 Crazy U.S. Laws

In Bozeman, Montana, a law prohibits all sexual activity from the front yard of a home after sundown.

In Salt Lake County, Utah, it’s illegal to walk down the street carrying a violin in a paper bag.

In San Francisco, it’s illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.

Devon, Texas, it is against the law to make furniture while you are nude.

In Oklahoma, you can be arrested for making ugly faces at a dog.

In California, it is illegal for a vehicle without a driver to exceed 60 miles per hour.

In Florida, men seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown can be fined.

In South Carolina, it is legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.

In Tennessee, you are breaking the law if you drive while sleeping…

In Pennsylvania, it’s against the law to tie a dollar bill on a string on the ground and pull it away when someone tries to pick it up.