New Awards and Predictions

Awhile back, blog author, Gary Phillip Pennick, of his blog, Klahanie, gave me and much more other worthy recipients two awards.  One is called the Fabulous Blog Ribbon Award and the other is the One Lovely Blog Award.  I'm finally getting around to giving him a proper thank you and doing a blog post about it.

Gary, himself, rightfully earned and received these two awards and gracefully bestowed them upon six other blog authors besides sweet lil' ol' me.  I would like to acknowledge his generosity by mentioning these awards and pass them along to other blogs I admire and have enjoyed:

1. Pickleope
2. Happyendings- Confessions of An Erotic Masseuse
3. DCRelief
4. The Angry Lurker
5. Angry Clown
6. Homeless in Seattle
7. In Search of a Russian Oligarch

Be sure to check out the great blogs above and tell them Kelly, of Psycho Carnival, sent ya!  Sure, they may be confused by this, but fuck it, do it, anyway... just because I said so.  

The rules that accompany these awards state that the recipients of the awards are "encouraged" to pass along or forward one or both awards to 7 other recipients.  You're also supposed to mention five fantastic moments in your life.  Well, as you know, probably by now, I'm not much of a follower of rules or polite etiquette of any type.  But I did want to pass along the awards to those I deem worthy of receiving them.  Those blogs and their authors don't need to feel obligated to relate five great moments in their life, unless they so desire to.  Nor are they obligated, at least in my opinion, to put the award(s) on their site or say who gave them the awards.  Gosh, it's not like I'm a glutton for ego-maniacal gratitude or something.  No way... no how.

Also:  Since my next post, I had already decided, was going to relate to things pertaining to me, more personally, and some of my unique opinions on different topics, I've decided to skip the "great moments" list at the time.

But I would like to share my predictions for the coming years of our existence as a species, in the absence of this list.  I know that the big ol' Mayan prediction and other predictions, foretelling the the chaos and/or substantial change in the human race for the date of December 21st, 2012 is kinda on the minds of people these days.  Personally, I think, on that date, we may see some people getting "all nutty" about that particular day since it has been so hyped up in the media, that they might just cause riots here and there, causing, in turn, some needless trouble and pain for people just trying to get on with their lives as if it were another day.  Which, it might turn out to be the case.  Just another day, I mean.

But here, before you, are my TRUE PREDICTIONS for what will absolutely happen in the years to come.  I'm providing you with these life altering predictions because I CARE A LOT.  Yep.  For sure.  Here ya go:

* Sometime in the near future, corporations and people around the world will endeavor to stop polluting this planet we inhabit.  The Arctic ice will cease melting.  Temperatures and climate will become stable.  Wars over fossil fuels, power and land will no longer continue.  Rainbows will appear out of nowhere and unicorns will dance among the children.  Strangers, holding hands, will suddenly burst into heartwarming songs and share an overwhelming feeling of peace and goodwill towards one another.  And the homeless will be welcomed everywhere and given shelter, loving care and food.  Not long, after these events occur, I will shit gold to share with each and every one of you.  It's true!  Just like everything else I said.  Yep.

* Movies will have involving and interesting plot lines.  Gone are the flicks that satiate a mindless public.  People will actually crave more original and fascinating entertainment than ever before.  Oh yeah, baby.

* Mitt Romney will become president of the United States.  The economy will drastically improve.  The middle class will be sustained and prosper.  People across the country will, simultaneously, eat healthier food. The elderly will be given better healthcare and respect. Education will become an all important issue, will be improved upon and every child will learn and grow to be a fine, upstanding citizen.  Animals, that were once on the endangered species list, will come back and flourish and multiply around the world.  The mentally challenged will suddenly take flight, using their arms as wings and delight us all with their colorful, enchanting antics by colliding into bridges and mountains.  Because of this spectacle, a few individuals will giggle until they fart.  But then...  A large hairy ape will descend from the heavens above and let loose with a powerful stream of piss that will shower the world with luminous, wondrous magic.  All true.  Every word.  Count on it!

* Old diseases like Cancer and Diabetes will be cured by researchers for big pharmaceutical companies because, after all, they care only about eliminating the diseases, altogether.  Never are they even slightly interested in making profits off of people like you and I by selling pills and such to treat the symptoms.  Heck no.  I'd say, in about a year, all those horrendous diseases that have been around for decades and centuries will be a thing of the past.  Nothing to worry about.  Just put your mind at ease and think of butterflies fluttering about the flowers of life.

* Racism and gender equality will be eagerly talked about.  Soon, everyone will be accepted for who they are and who they wish to copulate with and love.  Trees will learn sign language, too.

* Cars, trucks, planes, ships and tricycles, even, will be powered by a completely unique form of endless, profitless energy.  Corporate and government scientists, after working diligently on creating this free energy that corporations won't care to profit from, will be shown gratitude by all the world's population because people will suddenly be grateful for the good things offered to them and will gleefully projectile vomit on these learned geniuses by way of reward for their years of long, hard work.  There will be such an atmosphere of absolute positivism, that leprechauns, minotaurs and Ewoks will erupt from the ground to spray forth load after creamy load of jism upon the people.  People will happily gobble it all up like hungry maggots and instantly become more strongererer and smarterererr and erererer.  Henceforth, this day of celebration will be officially known as Merry Spooge Day.

That's all I have for now.  So, once again, just put your mind at ease.  The human race will be just fine.  We're evolving into something great and wonderful.  Yes, indeed.  We're certainly not devolving into societies of war-mongering, hateful, polluting assholes who don't give a real shit about what we do to each other, the animals and the planet's atmosphere.  So... yeah.  Feel free to throw caution to the wind and smile, smile and smile some more.  Our future as a species is looking just fine and as promising as ever.

Have a dandy day, one and all!   

Summer Fun Action

What have I been up to?

Enjoying the summer, goddamn it! After 6 months of a harsh, excruciatingly long winter, summer has finally arrived and instead of being bound or limited in what can be done during the past heavy bouts of ice, snow and all that groovy shit, I'm unshackled, free, even, my amigos, to get out and enjoy. My past problems before kept me from posting regularly. Ironically, things are going so well, nowadays, I've been spending most of my time away from the drudgery of lame, indoor activity.

Well, I do make time for cat fisting and fixing a good cup of coffee. That will perk you up. You shouldn't deny yourself the simple things in life, you know.

In any case, I wholeheartedly encourage everyone reading this to get outside right now and go crazy this summer. Put a bundle of firecrackers in your pants, light 'em up and sing "Yank Me Doodle Dandy" till the neighbors call the authorities on you.

Of course, you gals may say, "But Kelly, I wish not to harshly burn my womanly baloney flaps and my cuddly clitoris."

Do it anyway, damn it! Get crackin'! And poppin'! Add some spice and spark to your life! Show 'em who's boss!

You dudes, on the other hand, might point out, "But what about the charred remains of my crispy, deflated testes and my seriously messed up smoking ballsack?"

Oh, boo hoo. Don't be such a crybaby! Put a dab of sunburn cream on your junk and it will all be swell. Take it from the good Dr. Kelly. He'll never steer you wrong.

Speaking of things in your pants, you may want to watch this. It's quite lovely.

A couple weeks ago, I went to my sister's 23rd year wedding anniversary/bonfire party. I saw some friends I hadn't seen in ages. The crinkles around their eyes and the strands of gray in the hair freaked me out. So I said, "You guys are getting old."

They said, "Well, you are, too," almost in unison.

I laughed, took it in stride and shot them all in the head.

Seriously, we had a relaxing, fun time. It could be because we were all fucked up but I think it was the general mood of seeing each other again and the great weather and the food and the liquor and the dog and turkey face off.

Yes, I did record the Dog Vs. Turkey Match of The Millennium with my digital camera. The quality isn't that great but the content is funny. Forgive me or not about the quality. I was quite numb and it took all three of my working brain cells to find the movie camera symbol thingy on the camera dial thingy. Hope I'm not being too technical here.

No animals were hurt during the dog and turkey foreplay right before they finally made sweet, sweet inter-species love to one another, folks. So don't stress out!

Here's the video clip. Listen to our witty dialogue and be amazed! Watch two wild n' crazy beasts go at each other until the bitter dispute ends with tender, oddly arousing lovemaking! For real! Sorry, freaks, I had to edit that last part out. This is a family site, after all.

Before the entertainment, we feasted on grilled burgers, metts, bratwurst, a teriyaki rice dish I made, earlier, and a lot of other good edibles. We didn't kill and eat the turkey this time. It was covered with too much spooge.

During the course of the day and evening, I snapped a lot of shots of sunsets, people, animals, fire and Lord knows what. If you find out, tell me.

OH YEAHHH! And that's just what Randy "Macho Man" Savage said just before he crashed. Too true. Plus, he had a Slim Jim hangin' out of his pie hole when they found him slumped over.

Here are a few of the photos I took throughout the day and night of the party.

There's nothing like staring into the coals and flames of a raging bonfire. Very peaceful. It really eases the worries of the day and allows your mind to wander into tranquil territories.

We decided not to throw our friend, Marty, into the bonfire that night because, even though he has lost some muscle mass due to his MS disease, he's still kinda heavy. He still weighs in at 150 pounds. We tried encouraging him to steer his electronic mobile chair thingamajiggy into the fire, himself, to give us a break from hurting our backs from lifting him and possibly interrupting our drunken revelry but he was too lazy.

Damn him.

Normally, we would chase after our sarcastic friend, Greg, tackle him to the ground and take him to the bonfire "to threaten to throw him in" but he couldn't make it because he was working in Kansas.

Damn him, too.

You can see more photos from the party if you click on my photo blog, Pics For Kicks.

I hope everyone has a safe, fun, relaxing summer in the months ahead. It certainly beats where we were with that hellish winter here in the U.S. only a few months ago. I implore you to get out and enjoy nature. Believe it or not, fucking around with your computer or any other electronic device isn't all that.

These past few weeks have been glorious compared to what the situation was for the wife and I only a month ago. Hooray! About time!

While away from the hallowed, frankly ridiculous internet, we saw four movies in the theater.

I grade the following on a scale of 1-10:

Green Lantern gets an 8. Bad Teacher gets a 7. Cars 2 gets an 8. The latest Transformers movie gets an 8, as well.

Besides grilling out, drinking too much, communing with the great outdoors and spending money on a laptop for the wife and going out to eat about every friggin' day, I've recently gotten re-addicted to a computer game I played for years this last week. Just one more reason I haven't been blogging much these days. The game is called Sacred. It's an older hack n' slash RPG but it's still a lot of fun. My character is a Battle Mage named Master Heathen. I hate the pinkish color glow that his wicked magical armor gives off but it doesn't mean shit, really, when you take in the fact that he's really great at disemboweling his enemies with ease and setting them on fire as they continue to scream.

Well, gang, that's all I got for now. For my next post, I'm going to describe, with pictures and words, the big semi-annual flea market we go to every year that's famous for it's muzzle-loading shoots, odd items for sale and freaky folks dressed in leather, coon skin hats and dresses (not necessarily all at once) in nearly one hundred degree heat.

There's a variety of smells in the air, you'll detect, during the week long flea market/muzzle loading shoot. Everything from sweaty meat bags to Elk Burgers piled with sauteed onions.

That upcoming post should be fun. Stay tuned! Stay safe! And don't forget to put the M-80's down your pants and light 'em up to show your special Fourth of July patriotism. We're all counting on you.

Note: I'll try my damnedest to visit your blogs the next couple of days so be prepared.

Strange and Rare Diseases

Throughout the years, I've often been fascinated with strange and rare diseases. Whenever I'd stumble upon articles on this type of subject matter in medical journals and books at home (my mother was a nurse in the mental health department of a hospital in a neighboring state) or in the library or doctor's office, it would cause me to either gasp in disbelief or shake my head, feeling pity upon those afflicted.

I've read a lot about these conditions that made unfortunate victims of these people and the following information about them is something you, yourself, may find interesting.

Exploding Head Syndrome-

Those who suffer from this disease experience a very loud noise as if it’s within his/her own head like an explosion. Typically this happens within several hours of falling asleep although not due to a dream. Patients may feel fear and anxiety associated with increased heart rate. Some physicians suggest that there’s a relationship with stress and extreme fatigue.

Stendhal Syndrome-

This disease causes people who have it to experience dizziness, rapid heartbeat, confusion and hallucinations when exposed to large amounts of beautiful art work.

Blaschko's lines-

Blaschko's lines are an extremely rare and unexplained phenomenon of human anatomy first presented in 1901 by German dermatologist Alfred Blaschko. Neither a specific disease nor a predictable symptom of a disease, Blaschko's lines are an invisible pattern built into human DNA. Many inherited and acquired diseases of the skin or mucosa manifest themselves according to these patterns, creating the visual appearance of stripes. What makes them more remarkable is that they correspond quite closely from patient to patient, usually forming a "V" shape over the spine and "S" shapes over the chest, stomach, and sides.

Cotard’s Syndrome-

Those who suffer from this disease feel that they are dead and non-existent. The sufferer may also feel that he/she lost his or her blood or internal organs; the patient even feels that the internal parts are putrefying. It can show up due to mental illness and is also associated with depression.

When you hear or read or see something about these diseases and others that are, in no doubt worse, you can't help but to wonder how you would react or struggle with any one of these diseases. Although I feel great empathy for people who endure life changing obstacles, such as a few of the ones described here, I can't help but to be impressed by those who are able to cope with whatever they are afflicted with each and every day that passes.

It's something worth thinking about. At least to me, it is.

Fun Houses

When I was a little kid, I'd go to the town fair and they would always have either a really crazy looking fun house or a terrifying one. The first time I entered inside a fun house, I got trapped in this tumbler kind of thing that spun you up and over, round and round (like a clothes dryer) until you received a concussion or fractured elbow. Loads of fun. This was back in the late 60's and early 70's where they didn't give much thought to safety issues. Then there would be the claustrophobic mirror rooms to contend with. I'd walk into mirrors, almost in tears, trying to get the fuck out. I almost had a seizure from the panic attacks endured, trapped in those rooms. Luckily, I wasn't scarred for life having been exposed to that shit. Just a few years.

On the subject of fun houses, this seems to be the kind of house that would be fun to live in.

What's that nursery rhyme about the old woman that lived in an over sized shoe, had so many children, she didn't know quite what to do-- so she let the government foot the bill, keeping the rugrats fed, schooled and clothed while her vagina steadily grew to the size of a fun house?

Yeah, you know the one. I think she lived here, in the fun house pictured below. After awhile, the woman, a human vending machine, didn't bother going through labor or pushing down hard to get the bloody little bundle of joy out of her ever-widening gaping clam. She needn't try. Often times, she'd bend over to pick up a lit cigarette that fell out of her blubbery mouth or a dropped, halfway drunken can of beer and the lil' cutie would just kind of plop out onto the roach-infested floor.

The old woman (who just looked old because she was a meth addict) wouldn't know she had given birth until she stumbled back and tripped over the infant, causing it to cry out, cursing it's very existence into this world and the fact that it's mother was a drug addled whore with festering sores covering 80% of her body. Luckily, the kid rolled out of the way, onto a bed of dead rats, before it could be crushed by the stinking behemoth.

Later, the darling little baby couldn't tell whether it was sucking on a nipple, during breast feeding or a pus-filled skin ulcer that reminded one of a strange, nightmarish teat.

Otherwise, it was a nice house. Friendly neighborhood, too.

The next pic isn't so much of a house as it is a photo of a building. But it would make a nice house. Sure, it's been through a couple earthquakes, but hey, no house is perfect.

This next one is a bounce house. They call these things fun houses, too. People buy and rent these "civil lawsuits in the making" for their kids' parties. It's supposed to keep the kids occupied. They jump all around in these big inflatable enclosed rooms, cracking their heads and bones together, causing each other to scream and cry and have all kinds of related fun.

All I see, when I look at one of these things, is the end result. Someone always manages to get hurt and bloodied. Yes, indeed, nothing says "party time", more adequately, than one of these plastic, injury-causing monstrosities. Good luck with one of these fuckers at your next kiddiefest!

At least this next "fun house" has a sense of humor. Sure, the neighborhood kids, your offspring and their rabble of pals will sustain multiple broken bones, chipped teeth and contusions, but at least they'll be able to come tumbling out of a rabbit's asshole, eventually. Gotta look on the bright side!

This next shot is for an establishment that is a kind of "fun house" for grown ups. This fun house is a bar and grill in my general area. I've wanted to take a picture of this sign forever, but didn't do it until a month ago. "Hummers" is a really nice name for a bar, isn't it? Big red lips, right there on the sign for the place. Great piece of advertising, that is. A place you can go, get sloshed and meet that special someone.

Someone that's just perfect for giving you a hummer, hence the name.

After getting your hummer for the night, why not make a stop at this next fun house. At this fun house, you can eat all the doughnuts you desire, while the doughnuts busily soak up all the alcohol in your belly. Afterwards, if you haven't thrown up all the doughnuts in the toilet bowl in the back room, you may decide to make a return visit to Hummers and do it all over again.

And wouldn't that be fun?

Why Do People Have A Problem With Health Care Reform?

The Health Care Reform Bill will ensure that low income U.S. citizens and small businesses, alike, will be able to afford health care. This would be great, for many reasons, if and when it ever passes approval from fat and wealthy politicains. It means anyone unable to receive medical attention because they could not afford it due to being unemployed, not earning enough money or their job doesn't carry health insurance -they won't have to worry about the added problem of not having health insurance.

In other words, when and if some poor woman is cooking herself a meal of Ramen noodles in the kitchen and her uterus just so happens to fall out onto the linoleum floor, without notice -if she has government health insurance- she will be able to afford having her uterus pushed back inside by a doctor -instead of her five year old son, who only moments ago was cheerfully playing with his puppy dog and not being screamed at by his mother with instructions to gather up her dragging uterus and hurriedly jam the whole bulging thing back into her woo hoo, thus scarring the boy for the rest of his life with images that will force him to fear women's vaginas as if they were uterus vomiting monsters.

And yes, that really is a stuffed toy uterus, meant for children, on the upper left corner, complete with fallopian tube arms and soft little nubbins the manufacturers call the ovaries.

As I've pointed out so many times before, people will sell anything and people will buy anything.

Back to the point of this post: I don't see why health care reform has been turned into a political power struggle for Democrats and Republicans. This is something our country desperately needs. Everyone deserves health care and it is inhumane to withhold something so vital to everyone. There are people in this country that constantly have to choose between putting food on the table or receiving medications or undergoing much needed medical treatment -such as surgery, medications, therapies and doctor visits.

Almost every country in this world, industrialized or not, has some sort of health care system, provided by their government. Why can't we get our act together in this country? Too busy policing other nations? Too busy getting fat and wealthy while the other half of the world dies in poverty? Too many Republicans using fear tactics, as usual, to sway an illiterate nation into whatever insane idea is being repeatedly drilled into our gullible minds?

Hey, it worked for George Bush. How many excuses and outright lies did he use to go to war in the Middle East? Weapons of mass destruction, anyone? And we, along with other participating nations, are still paying the price with soldiers' lives and destroyed relationships and the destroyed mental health of soldiers who survive.

And with this health care reform, anyone can still opt to pick their own health care insurance. The government provided health insurance plan isn't being forced down anyone's throats. It's there for those who can't afford it. I can't make it any clearer than that. I think if anyone that actively goes against this needs their brain examined. And if they don't have health insurance, they can consider themselves fucked because many doctors will refuse to look at their mentally impaired brain if they don't have health insurance.

Feeding America, the nations largest domestic hunger-relief charity, provides a quadrennial comprehensive study of domestic hunger called "Hunger in America 2010". The data from this study showed the following truths:

• More than 35 percent of adult clients report having to choose between health care and food in the past year.
• There has been a 60 percent increase, over four years, in the number of adult clients who report that they or another household member has no health insurance.
• Almost half of our adult clients report that they or a household member has unpaid medical bills.
• One in three adult clients report that someone in their household is in "poor health."
• One in 10 adult clients report that they have been refused medical care in the past year because they couldn't afford it.

That last point is the one that bothers me the most. 1 in 10 people don't have health insurance. That's a disgusting legacy or condition for a nation that is supposedly a major leader in the world today. It isn't socialism, as Republicans often cry out, to have the ability to see a doctor or have a much need operation performed because you have health care insurance, whether it's government sponsored or not. Like having the right to be given an attorney to represent you during a court hearing, everyone should have the right to have health care insurance.

No one should be in the position to have to decide whether you will have your electric bill paid or your kids fed at the table or a life disease disease or condition being treated in any given month(s). In my opinion, that is an inhuman condition and should not be allowed and those who would oppose Health Care Reform are fucking monsters.

Seasonal Affective Disorder and Other Maladies

The sun is finally shining!!! After three weeks of cloudy, sunless days, the sun was able to ultimately peek through the gloomy atmosphere, yesterday. Today, here in Indiana, the sun is, at last, presenting itself in all of it's fucking glory. Jesus Christ, Sun, what took you so goddamn long???

The first week, it didn't bother me that much, but this last week or so, the sunless days have been killing me, emotionally and somewhat, physically. My blog pal, DarkSlander, was the first to suggest I may be suffering from SAD. (SAD) stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder. It is a type of depression occurring most commonly during the winter months. You can find much more information on this mental disorder by clicking on the link I provided but here is the gist of what it can do to you:

Many people have changes in their sleep patterns, energy levels and mood in the autumn and winter. Indeed, many people can feel "low" during long periods of grey days the winter. However, this unhappiness can develop into SAD. Mild forms of SAD are commonly referred to as "winter blues" but you can have a more severe form and become unable to function in winter without treatment.

There are also at home treatments but none have worked for me.

Now, I already have Major Depressive Disorder, which is horrible enough to endure, but having to deal with (SAD) is/was fucking killing me inside and out. Yeah, I know... I've already said as much but let me explain. I couldn't think clearly, therefore I've had trouble posting, commenting, remembering to take my medications and doing things I had planned for the day. I also had and still have, somewhat, trouble getting the energy to walk, work out at the gym, breathing, sleeping and more. All of these things, I found out, are symptoms of SAD.

What has been replaced, courtesy of SAD is: fits of crying, staring at nothing for long periods of time, weight gain, anger, aggressive behaviour and general physical weakness.

I was actually doing a lot better with my following medical problems, before SAD cropped up, which include:

Type 2 Diabetes (two insulin shots to the belly and 2 pills a day)

High Blood Pressure

High Triglyceride Count and last, but certainly not least,

Major Depressive Disorder and Anxiety (I take Wellbutrin and Valium)

Wellbutrin is more well known for being a medication for those individuals wanting to quit smoking but it is also a anti-depressant. It gives you an energy boost. This, along with my own determination and therapy, has greatly helped my battle with depression. You'll have to read my earlier posts if you want to know more about that. I only take Valium before going out in public.... sometimes.

On top of this, unrelated to SAD, I also have these medical conditions:

*Equinus Foot Deformity with both feet- the pain of which is so severe, even with medication that I have to prop my feet up four to five hours a day before walking out the door on any given day (click on link to learn more) in order to walk or stand. It's one of the main reasons I collect disability after working for 27 years.

*Plantar Fasciitis (heel spurs). My podiatrist has said, on numerous occasions, they were the biggest he had ever seen (almost 3 inches in length). So large they are, in fact, they have melded onto the rest of the bones in my feet. He explained they cannot be operated on and cut out.

*Neuropathy (click on link to learn more)

(almost complete) Deafness in my left ear

*Chronic Sinusitis

*Allergies (I'm highly allergic to mold, pollen, bee stings, five different types of trees, plants, flowers and other things)

*Severe Astigmatism

*Memory loss (due to extreme diabetes and depression -of which there is a definite link)

I also contend with taking care of a father with Vascular Dementia, which is a battle all of it's own. Recently, we have moved him into an Assisted Living place, which has lifted some of the burden from my sister and I. I split my time with him nowadays, along with spending time with my wife, blogging, exercising and attempting to enjoy life. I'm also looking very forward to our cruise to several Caribbean islands this summer. It will be like a second honeymoon for the wife and I. We've been married for 21 years. Quite a feat during these times we live, eh?

Even as I write all of this, I can feel some of the tension and depression leaving my spirit. The sun is finally shining, after all. And the dying feeling inside is starting to leave. If you have any questions, please ask. But please, do not assume anything. Thanks for reading this far. I know it's not the usual laugh-a-thon or whatever but part of the reason for this blog is for my venting.

I will return to commenting on all of my new and old friend's blogs tomorrow, Saturday. I need a break. You haven't been forgotten.

See you then!

The Princess Chlamydia

Let's talk about pleasant subject matter today, shall we?



Her name is Chlamydia. She was a beautiful girl, she was. Blond hair. Blue eyes. Lickable rosy cheeks. Eh.... anyway.... Chlamydia was more than just a princess to the denizens of her shimmering city. They believed she was a genuine blessing. Everyone had plenty of food, shelter and entertainment. Everyone was happy and were charmed by her outward character. But what her adoring fans didn't know, was that Chlamydia had an ugly side. Her pride being her sin, the young princess often gloated to her lady servants and anyone else with ears about her bewitching beauty and charm.


At times, she would hear her servants mocking her from behind closed doors. Chlamydia would come in abruptly with the guards and have them taken into the dungeon where she would often scold them with a swift whipping. Strangely, some of ladies rather enjoyed it. But you didn't hear that from me.



One evening, Chlamydia took a secret walk into the garden area. Soon, she thought, my lover will meet me and we will be free to-


Suddenly, a creature popped out of the shrubbery. It was almost human, though it's pasty white form was covered with strange oozing sores, pustules and patchy hair on it's unclothed body. Chlamydia blinked, gripped by shock and unable to trust her sight. The hideous creature screamed, "I am the demon, Howardsternizzalameass!" Then he raised his bleeding arms, releasing a foul aroma that caused the red roses, surrounding them, to wither and die. Curious vermin went blind.


Chlamydia tried to say something that would deter the creature from attacking her, but before she could, the creature rushed at the princess, grabbed her petite waist and pushed his slimy tongue deep down her throat. An infected bubble of mucous and blood popped against her tongue. Vomit burbled up her throat as she felt his thick, lumpy tongue writhing around inside her mouth. The demon chuckled to himself, tasting her puke and relished it's flavor, sensing she previously had a meal that contained peas, onions and tomato paste.


After minutes of violating her tonsils, Howardsternizzalameass withdrew his tongue from Chlamydia's mouth and stepped back. "So how was that for ya, princess? Pretty good, huh?" asked the demon.


Chlamydia, bent over a small shrub, finished retching her supper upon the nearby lillies and paused a moment before straightening back up. The princess wiped some bile off her lips and said, "You disgust me, you sick, ugly thing!" The demon heard this and became frantic with rage. Fire shot out from his fingertips towards the ground! Wondrously, a toad appeared. The toad was also covered with many infected sores. Many were bleeding, profusely.


The toad said, "Croak." Not much, did he say after that.



The demon smiled and then announced, "This is my pet, Garydellajailbatemus. There are some in my dark realm who call him "The Producer".


Chlamydia asked, "What does it produce?"



"This," answered the demon. The demon pointed toward the nether regions of the princess. Suddenly, she felt something jumping around inside her. She moaned a bit and let loose a magical queef. Then a moment passed and the toad was gone.


Later, Chlamydia found out she had been cursed by the demon. One morning she woke to realize she had bloody, pustulating sores all over her body. The citizens, from then on, found her repulsive and not worthy of their worship. As a result, they gathered round, feasted with gusto and had a delightful festival with dancing clowns and talented musicians before burning the princess at the stake for being ugly and diseased. A few had sex with her, beforehand, just to say they did it with a princess once and then later became infected and spread the disease throughout the country and then the entire world.




And that, my friends, is the dandy end.

Greed: Our Number One Cultural Disease

AIG bonuses, corporate bailouts, bank bailouts and the enormous salaries given to, but NOT EARNED, by corporate executives. I don't understand why we accept these unethical offenses from the rich. Is greed a subject learned or ingrained into our minds from childhood through adulthood. Is money and/or the material crap really the ultimate goal in this society?



For me, this great video shed excellent light on why we are like this. Do me a favor. Watch the video. Listen to it. Even if you don't agree with it, I bet it will make you think.

Tree Man- Before And After

When I first heard the story about the "Tree Man", the Indonesian fisherman suffering from human papillomavirus, HPV, a rare immune deficiency, I was interested in learning more.

For 20 years, Dede Koswara lived and struggled with something you think you would only see in a horror flick. Covered with huge tree-like growths encasing his limbs, Dede was unable to feed himself, work and move about like a normal human being. The only income he had was made during his brief stint in a travelling freak show. Unable to touch his children and support them, Dede's life has been a life of constant struggle.

Luckily, there are doctors that are trying save this man from a life of pain and disfigurement. Dede has just underwent his 9th surgery.

Details about his condition, his two decades of hardship associated with the disease and the major operations that were performed to give this man his life back are detailed in the following links and video clips.

Tree Man on Discovery Channel

The Story of Dede

Tree Man's Ninth Surgery










Be sure to check it all out and be sure to be thankful you don't have to live with tree branches growing from your arms, legs and feet.