Inspirations and Heroes

Many times I believe humans use the term "hero" fairly loosely.  For me, a hero is someone who saves a person's life or risks their own life for someone else.  People, for example, who fall into the category of heroes would be, in no particular order: firefighters, good doctors, good nurses, first responders, EMT's and sometimes, the police, I say, somewhat begrudgingly.  When cops aren't focusing on some activity that's determined to be part of the drug war and actually going after murderers and rapists and preventing people from being hurt or killed- they're not only doing their job and committing to it, but they earn the right to be called a hero.  Now you get why I said 'somewhat begrudgingly' because, in my opinion, cops deserve to be called that when they are doing something beyond what I guess you could call "their call of duty."

Remember, while reading this:  These are my opinions.  Please don't throw the dictionary at me or pull quotes on me.  :)  I've nearly started lynch mobs on my blog in the past and I think if some of the comments had gotten any further, in intensity, I'd would be hopping a jet plane for Hawaii for fear of death threats.  Speaking of which, I went to Hawaii a couple months ago but that was to see the TUMULTUOUS CHICKEN INVASION.  Oh, and endless debates bore the crap out of me, too, but more importantly, I think those types of people who engage in eternal internet debates are for those who believe there is an argument to win or for someone's self-feeding ego purposes.  Eegads! And Holy Doritos, even!

I can't, in my right mind, call an athlete a hero.  An athlete just doesn't fit the description of hero for me.  They can be considered an inspiration to some people, though.  For those who do the hero worshiping thing toward someone who can run a ball, hit, catch or kick a ball, tackle someone, make a home run, or make a field goal, hit a puck or something akin to anything like this please take your misplaced adulation away from me as quickly as possible or I'll violently retch the contents of the little TV dinner I had this morning.  I'll aim for your shoes, too, right through my magical computer monitor.  The little frozen piece-of-crap dinner, I had, earlier,consisted of some type of meat, smothered with orange-y cheese.  Please, no dick jokes.  I'm running a monastery here, not a blog, for crying out quietly- instead of loudly. (singing) "Ohhhhh holy night, the cows are slurping upon dick cheese..."  Oops... I better add a smiley face to note I'm joking about the monastery bit.  Hopefully, I'm not too late..  :)  There now.  All better, right?

Note: Misdirection infused with humor is a useful tool to avoid endless debate.

Example:  Person One might say, "Why do you always leave the dishes in the sink for more than one and three quarters of an hour when you can put them in the dishwasher?"

Person Two might reply, "Do you think that spot on your back I noticed the other day might lead to something or be the symptom of something... like a disease?"

Then, if it works out, Person One will ask for more details about the spot or try checking it with two mirrors.  You can imagine how that works, right?.  We've all done the mirror trick.  No penis jokes, please.  Or, if you're really lucky, they'll ask you to apply some kind of ointment on the spot.  That's when you use gasoline, a lighter and maybe a rag on their back.  But be careful! You don't want to be burned, after all.  Anyway, the argument or debate may be averted when they are on fire and pushed off the balcony or into a deep hole in the ground.

Unfortunately, you can't do this on the Internet but you can use diversion techniques, with type written words- which are either subtle, shocking or somewhere in the middle.  You can think of something, I'm sure.  Have you ever poured yourself a cup of tea or coffee and try sweetening the tea or coffee while talking to someone on the phone?         

Maybe athletes, good teachers, certainly, parents or an intriguing spokesperson inspire others to do better or improve themselves in many ways.  They could inspire you to get fit, gain confidence, perhaps, view situations as an advantage and that's just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.  They can also help you change your perspective for your own personal growth during your lifetime.  Who knows?  There are, obviously, other examples of people I'm not mentioning.  But I can't, for the life of me, bring myself to call them a hero.

Being a rambler when I write, I have to control myself.  If I come up with more than the allotted examples, in this case, my blog license will be revoked.

Personally, for me, however, there are people who, accordingly, could be classified, often, as "those who inspire."  Like Gandhi or Buddha.  Excellent examples.

Isn't it odd how people who inspire peace or love are always getting executed in the history of the Human race?  Nah, we're certainly keeping up with our rapidly increasing technology with our ability to empathize and care for our fellow citizens.  Right?  I need to take a look outside and dream of elves, riding sparkling unicorns right about now.

George Carlin and Kurt Vonnegut have inspired me to think in comedic but honest terms.  I've listened to every word from George Carlin, on albums, his books and in HBO specials and have greatly appreciated his truth and honesty and have laughed until I'm breathless while enjoying the truth of what he has said.  I've read and re-read Kurt Vonnegut's books like Breakfast of Champions and Slaughterhouse Five and all the rest he's written (got his whole collection) and I've gained wisdom from his unique prose while having my laughs and deeper thoughts, all the while. I don't base all of my personal beliefs on what they have said, but they definitely have inspired me.  Infusing humor and honesty.  They are natural partners and can be easily swallowed in one or two gulps.  No need to say what you were thinking there.  You're naughty!

Also:  Don't allow me to go into a bookstore!  I've lived in one for four days and dined on overpriced coffee, hard cookies and crappy paperbacks.

True Meaning of What I've Just Said:  I read a lot.

The band, Rush, are a progressive rock band that have been around for 44 years.  Yeah, that's when they formed.  In 1968.  They had some popular hits in the past but for some strange reason, they're still too underrated in my book.  In my book of those have inspired me, the members of Rush, who are Alex Lifeson, Neil Peart and Geddy Lee should be put right up there with the Beatles.  That's my opinion.  Don't set me afire!  Their lyrics to their songs are absolutely meaningful, the drumming by Peart is powerful and masterful and the guitar work by Geddy and Lifeson is too artistic too describe.  Plus, Geddy's singing has only improved over the years, too.  For some people, his singing was/is off-putting.  But not to me.



My Aunt Kay bought me the DVD, Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage for my birthday, around October.  It's an amazing, in-depth look at their beginnings, their challenges the group has faced, how they define or not define their music and the mechanics behind how they've stayed together for so long.  Even if I wasn't a Rush fan, I'd find it especially interesting.  Early concert footage of the band on the DVD is very cool and gratifying, too.

I love Led Zeppelin, too, for the same reasons and they inspire me.  Another big influence or inspiration would be Pink Floyd and then you have Queens of the Stone Age and on and on and on.  I could name so many bands you would want to break my fingers or something.  What are you doing with the Molotov cocktail in your hand?  Are you about to set me ablaze?  It's not even Christmas yet!  And I won't fit in your oven, either, unless you...

Note: Even your friends or people you see on a daily or weekly basis can inspire you in ways you haven't thought of yet.  Or maybe they already have.  It's happened to me.  I've even refrained from belching at inappropriate times while they babble about.

But, anyway, yeah, when you think of your heroes and inspirations and the whole notion of those ideas and how others perceive their own- or not- it's something worth thinking about- until we've run amok with chickens as the Mayans predicted what would happen during the End of Days.   

Right On Cue

You're watching a movie at home, something supposedly bad happens to the supposedly likable female character. She starts to tear up. The sad music begins to play because the director wants to illicit a reaction from the movie's audience. The actress begins to cry. Right on cue, the sad music becomes louder, practically begging you to go for a Kleenex. After all, it is the intention of the director manipulate you into crying, feel sorry for the character, perhaps think of the situation happening to you for that personal response.

Or it could be a movie that's meant to be hilarious. Right on cue, there is music to set that mood, too.

You may or may not react but it's important to the producers of said movie that you do react. It is their intention that you purchase the movie later or do whatever they want you to do that usually involves you buying something in connection to the (product) movie.

You turn on the TV. There's Paris Hilton. "Dumb" rich blonde, always needing attention. She'll do the baby talk routine, show some skin for a sexual response from straight men and gay women, will act stupid, will promote her company's product, will do whatever it takes to get what she wants but never what she needs. Right on cue, she flashes a smile, craving attention from the media because, deep down, she has low self esteem. Cameras flash as she gets out of the limo. Heck, Paris might even pretend to forget to wear panties for some scandalous pictures that only add to the attention that is craved or for marketing purposes.

Is that Paris's pussy? Better zoom in for the possible genital warts. Either that or ignore that and her obvious act and read an interesting book, instead. Might I suggest Jon Stewart's Earth?

And it's nearly the same routine for a lot of the superficial folks in Hollywood. And it goes on and on. You got your Lohans, your Sheens, your desperate Reality TV " wannabe stars", your politicians and a puffed up, egotistical Donald Trump thrown in- just for good measure. Wants and insecurities. Putting on acts for a response or money. Blah fucking blah, blah, blah.

Or for another scenario: A friend or family member you know tells you "a deeply moving" story to get you to help them that involves you breaking your back or giving them money or causing you stress. Or something else you can probably think of. Put on your thinking cap!

How about the restaurant scene? The waitress at the restaurant is joking around with you, hoping you'll leave a big tip for her. She asks how you are, how your day is. The waitress smiles, laughs, maybe even flirts. Whatever it takes to make money. She plays as if she's been your friend for who knows how long in her act.

Personally, I'm just interested in getting some decent service while I'm eating the food, transparent food industry employee. I will give you a tip if the service is good. The tip amount will not be based on how exceptional your friendliness routine was. The end.

Commercials are painfully obvious with their agendas, as well. See this, they say and this will happen. Let us make you laugh or smile or nod in agreement. We want you to feel good about buying our product, because we care. If that doesn't work, maybe we'll scare you, subtly or not so subtly, into buying it.

And then there's the news programs. A reporter or anchorperson reads their script to get the intended response. Right on cue, his or her voice will waver, maybe slow their words for the effect on you. Or maybe they will infuse their words with faked excitement about an event or group or individual. And because you're the target, you are supposed to have pity, happiness or anger for this person or situation. What fun they're having! I'm wanking furiously in tribute to their supposed ingenuity. Either that or I'm shrugging my shoulders and moving on to something that's actually substantial and worthy of thinking about.

Those wacky fucks on TV will talk about a politician named Weiner sending a Twitter pic of his wiener. They will talk about the latest celebrity break up. They will say things that you've heard before too many other times. Different names. Same old shit. All because they want the response, ratings and/or money.

The images on the TV go by quickly. Our attention spans have dwindled to mere seconds.

Ugh! It's a blessing and a curse to see through people. This will sound cynical. This will sound paranoid. But it's the truth. Everyone has an agenda. I've said it before. I'm saying it again- because the superficiality of it all has bothered me almost from the very beginning of existence. I just want honesty, my fellow human wads of fuck. Tell me what you want. If it feels right for me, I'll give it to you, because I, as well, might have an agenda.

Ha! Ha! Ha! What silly shitting, eating, self-absorbed, needlessly manipulative, sometimes easily manipulated beings we are!

And here lies the truth, in the next paragraph. Watch your step! Please, don't trip over it or you may or may not acknowledge it.

When you hear or say the word "agenda" it conjures up something conspiratorial in one's mind but the agenda, itself, doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. Everyone has their own motives (agendas) or goals in life. This can be a positive objective like the good feeling you get from helping someone out. But people will deny that that wasn't their intention or it wasn't in the back of their minds before coming to somebody's aid. It doesn't matter, though. As long as they truly helped someone out.

I'm sure you can think of other agendas that can be positive. And some that are not, like some of those mentioned above.

I shall now step off of my soapbox, thus ending the lecture. Was I hoping to illicit a response to this topic? Nope. I just like stating the obvious (to me) and making observations. That's my thing. Manipulation isn't usually my game. I leave it to the experts. Besides, I find it boring and repulsive.

So right on cue, I say, "Have yourselves the dandiest of days!"

What Is Considered Newsworthy

I gotta be honest. I've been so bogged down with family problems, I haven't felt much like blogging or going on the Internet. Of course, I have to check my family/friends email account for the latest drama. Wedged in between that sort of stuff are the inane forwards I get. A few are funny. Most are shit I can't delete quick enough. You know the type.

Prayers

Cutesy pics of puppies and kitties

Lame jokes

Chain mails

Stories that are supposedly inspirational

When I do get on the net, I'm usually looking for things worth looking at and that serve as a temporary distraction from my insane reality. The temporary distractions have to qualify as something substantial, however. And by substantial, I mean it has to offer either real humor, newsworthy stories or solid entertainment. And by solid entertainment, I don't mean something like a goofy, obviously scripted Reality TV show where a thing called a Snooki has a nonsensical argument with another sub human thing that appears as if it has dipped it's face in a large vat of make up.

If (un)Reality TV shows aren't one of the signs of the End Times for the human race, I'll be surprised. These morons and anyone stupid enough to watch this shit should be deleted, as well.

What I still find amusing, annoying, sad and mind boggling is what passes as news these days.

I was checking out this website and it has given out, what they believe, are guidelines to what makes a story newsworthy. I don't agree with a few of these supposed factors that makes news worthy of conveying to the masses. For example:

Prominence

Where they say that famous people should get more coverage just because they're famous. For an example, they gave the possible scenario where the Queen of England breaks her arm. That's news- to them. Not to me. I don't care what celebrity, politician or Oompa Loompa breaks their dick or ruptures a spleen. That's a private medical matter that's boring to me, personally. That bit of news I heard the other day about the Queen throwing a hissy fit over Prince William not consulting with her over his wedding details was an example of stupidity for many reasons. For one, that's a personal family thing that the media didn't need to say anything about. And two, Prince William should have told her that it's his and his fiancee's wedding and the Queen should go act like she's important somewhere else. I might also add that he should tell the bitter old nosy bitch to shove her asinine complaints way up her royal hoo hoo.

Suck on that, Grandmummy!

Timing or state of currency, according to the same website's authors is a big factor, too, as far as something being newsworthy. For me, that isn't as crucial as the content. Something substantial that happened a month ago may be something I haven't heard about yet- and want to know about. And certainly, when you're watching Network TV news, half of the time you're not watching anything substantial, anyway. More often than not, you'll receive a deluge of information about the antics of a celebrity (like Charlie Sheen or Lindsay Lohan) and how they've gotten drunk, coked up, got naked on a merry-go-round and had sex with three albino midgets earlier that day. Or something like that. Who cares? That's on them. I don't care how many times they've gone through rehab. That's their personal business.

I know celebrity bullshit "news" is manna from heaven for the ignorant, but goddamn, does it have to be everywhere all the time? Give me a break! By the way, for all you folks living in Great Britain, that's America's sorry excuse for royalty-Celebrities. At least for some retards.

Bottom line: I'd rather hear, read or see significant news at the expense of up to the minute current news that is actually insignificant.

The Following Is Also Not News:

*Politicians bickering with other politicians in an endless stalemate of interests and agendas.

*Reports of doctors saying that eating too much of this or that is unhealthy and then contradicting themselves three months later to say eating this or that is okay again.

*Who, exactly, won the big million dollar lottery. I'm sure the person winning that lottery really wants their name announced so everyone can badger them for money.

*The latest electronic gadget

*High school sports game scores

*Anything having to do with Facebook, especially the nerdy boy Facebook creator, Mark Fuckburger (or whatever his name is). It's hard to believe they made Fuckburger "Person of The Year" in some popular U.S. magazine. Has he even gone through puberty yet?

*Biased opinions

*And more I can't think of at the moment because the coffee buzz is starting to wear off.

Like I've mentioned once before on this blog, Network TV news is (at least here in the U.S.) usually motivated by cross sector partnerships of big corporations, politicians with self serving agendas and self interest groups. You're only allowed to see what they want you to see. I'm not a conspiracy freak. You just have to do a bit of research to see who's owned by whom or who's being manipulated by whom. Reporters are paid their salaries to not say certain things against their employers/corporations. When you compare some of the more truthful and revealing news sources you can find on the Internet to the news you see on TV, those Internet news sources are more often accurate or dead on accurate. Not always, but the ones I check out are usually reliable.

The Following Subjects Are News:

*The deaths and strife of a mass of people (e.g. Haiti earthquake of last year, Flooding in Australia, The recession and unemployment issues, Wars). When major news corporations report about events such as this, they will usually stop reporting about it when the "next big news item" comes along, long before the strife or devastation has ended for the suffering populace in the region affected.

*REAL technological, scientific, medical breakthroughs that greatly improve or save people's lives.

*Climate change, environmental pollution.

*Positive solutions toward getting away from our dependency on coal and fossil fuels.

*Everyday people saving others' lives.

*And more I can't think of because the coffee buzz has completely worn off now.

But I think you get the picture, or at the very least, my point of view of what is truly newsworthy and what the media, in all it's varied forms, considers news. Your perspective may be different and I respect that. What I won't respect or tolerate is an organization or media outlet that is so completely biased that they will report something that is misleading or a total falsehood. And yeah, I know certain news is reported for reasons of ratings and/or greed- but that doesn't mean it's right and should be accepted.

When will people learn?

A Beautiful and Majestic Poem

NIPPLE

First you squeeze the tit

Then you pinch the nipple

Then you give the nipple a twist

It's all so very simple

Strange What Is And Isn't Accepted

What I'll be ranting about today is from the point of view of someone living in the U.S. This post will be about the odd general beliefs of American culture, though many of these beliefs are shared by the rest of the world's populace. Enjoy. Think. Scratch your ass. Or all of the above.

ACCEPTED

Corporate greed and greed, in general is perfectly acceptable. When this society hears of corporate greed as in the case of Goldman Sachs, the mortgage bankers who routinely screw people out of money, giving exorbitant amounts of money to their CEO's, it makes the news for a couple days. Then the public yawns, when some form of corporate greed is exposed and says, "Well, what can you do?" and keeps working to pay their bills, raise their families and repeats the routine the next day. It's an old story. Pathetic and true. Any outrage may last a day at the most, if there is any.

We're encouraged, in the U.S., from an early age to adulthood that the accumulation of money and material things is the normal course to go in one's lifetime. Money is the end all-be all of existence, after all. And the void in your life must be filled with crap bought at the store, mall or online. Having enough currency to be secure and have a safe place to live in is simply not enough. Enough is never enough for us. We're fat? Yep. Have too many toys, trinkets and electronic gadgets? Sure. The rest of the world hates us? You bet. Do we turn a blind eye to what we are?

Well... Is the sun hot?

NOT ACCEPTED

I'm surprised that the English dictionary doesn't define a deviate as someone who believes life can be enjoyed by experiencing the simplest of things. You know. The sight of a flowing river or mountain. Love. Peace. A drive through the country. Creating something positive. Sharing something of yourself.

Eh, I guess someone like that would be called old fashioned, out of place. A real nonconformist! A real nonteam player! You better hang that illogically thinking head of yours in shame, freak! Your kind is not welcome and you shall be shunned!

ACCEPTED

War. What goes with greed better or is more associated with that cultural disease than acts of war? Well, I mean other than vast, pointless loss of life, whether it's military personnel or civilian. War is accepted, sometimes thought of as patriotic, even, and happily used to rob someone of their land and/or natural resources. Doesn't matter what innocent people are killed. Those civilians' deaths may make the news that day or not. Doesn't matter to the public. You can tell because we allow it to happen. That's called encouragement.

War is often celebrated- with the giving out of medals to people who kill other people, parades, banners or news of a battle triumph. Often, it will be explained away as perfectly acceptable using various excuses to justify it with the history-proven reliability tools of manipulation and propaganda.

NOT ACCEPTED

Talking. Listening. Understanding. Peace.

ACCEPTED

Celebrity or wannabe-celebrity worship. We can throw youth in the pot, as well. Our society and our media glorifies the rich, famous, young, thin or those trying desperately to be any of those things. That type of societal sickness has always been a great source of ridicule for me. Who's responsible? Media. Magazines. TV producers/networks. Ourselves, for buying into that shit.

Reality TV is as far removed from reality as you can get. It is all poorly scripted hogwash. The attention needy fucks on those low budget (to the networks advantage) shows are advised to act this way or that but they can't even convincingly do that. If I want to watch fiction, I'll watch a real TV show. Give me real actors and a believable storyline, for chrissakes! Or give me an interesting documentary! Anything but reality tv slop.

Youth is overrated, as well. Most movies star young actors these days. Older, more believable and interesting actors have been pushed to the sidelines. Most commercials are geared for the 18-24 demographic with the unnearned spending money mommy and daddy gave to them. My motto: Fuck 'em! That goes for those who cater to them, in any way, especially.

NOT ACCEPTED

Not paying attention to any of them. They have no more value than the rest of us.

ACCEPTED

The narrow-minded religious beliefs of organized religions. You could easily demonstrate that this, too, can be connected to greed and war through the uses and sources of books, newspapers, Internet, simple observation and common sense. Try it. It's fun. But I can't be held accountable if your brain starts to hurt from thinking differently. Just sayin'.

NOT ACCEPTED

Believing in things that most people scoff at. Examples: Ghosts, Extraterrestrials, some things that can't be seen with your eyes, ESP, an afterlife (not necessarily a Christian version) and other phenomenon I could go on about but won't. If I did, I'd never finish this post.

Remember folks: There's no such thing as a 100% guarantee on what is real and not real. That goes for anything. What was scientifically proven or disproved in the past can be squashed like a bug tomorrow.

Keep your mind open for anything. And feel free to dwell upon anything I said. And let me know if your head starts to hurt. I need a good laugh.

Dead

First, Gary Coleman and now, Dennis Hopper. That sucks. "Watchoo talkin' about, Willis?"

Ashton Kutcher Wins The Big Twitter Battle

Who gives a good shit? Read here for more useless "celebrity worship" news about this lame-o battle vs. CNN.

Big Deal About Michael Phelps Pot Smoking

The media is getting all worked up about the trivial pot smoke break Mike took during a college party. He has apologized profusely for his "indiscretion" since the picture came out. The uptights call Michaels's bong hit inappropriate behaviour for the kids or anyone else looking at him as a hero. I say, "Fuck 'em." And, by the way, don't teach your kids to look at anybody as a hero. That's inappropriate behaviour for a parent. In reality, there are no heroes. There are only normal every day people trying to do the best they can.

Furthermore....

Tell me which is the more appropriate behaviour for a 23-year-old male: taking a bong hit at a party or swimming an average of 50 miles a week? There's no need to take too long thinking about that.

Kellogg's has dropped him, as a sponsor, so I guess he won't be on any of their cereal box covers. To them, I say, "Fuck you." To his other sponsors, that have still have common sense, I say, "Bravo" for honoring and respecting Phelps by not allowing a trivial matter cloud your judgement. Phelps doesn't need Kellogg's, anyway. He's got 16 gold Olympic medals for his magnificent achievements, the respect of his team mates and more important things going for him than some cereal company can ever hope to compete with.

Wallowing In Shallow

Big deal about the Golden Globes. The only reason I have ever watched them in the past was in the hopes of seeing up-close, partial boobie shots of my "favorite" actresses.



Hee ho.



What's so horrendously stupid is the media making a big deal about who is dressed in whatever brand name/"artificial" person as they have year after year. Who freaking cares?

I just wanna see boobies.



Most of these celebrities have so much goddamn makeup painted on their faces, they resemble department store mannequins. Have you ever seen one without make up. Scares the shit out of me when I see a picture of one. I want to throw up my hands and say, "Are there anyone of these media-worshiped people going to get to anything close to real looking. Not real close. I don't want to be startled and make a mess in my pants."



Anyway....



We've known a long time that you look pretty much like the rest of us. Tell your agent that your face needs to look like you've gotten out of the house a couple times in your lifetime.



And for all the rest of these wankers who buy those paparazzi rags over the counter. You can stand up and be counted as being just as shallow. Who's give a shit about celebrity lives?



Chance are, they may be as fucked up as the rest of ours. Again, who cares?



I shall now get off my soapbox and open my latest boobie magazine. I thank you, gentle reader, for your patience. Please..... enjoy my sarcasm. Goodbye for now. Don't get hit by any metal trains. See ya.

George Carlin: Genius-Comedian-Realist

George Carlin has been my hero since I was a kid. I collected all of his albums and all of his books. If there's one celebrity I came close to worshipping, it would be Carlin.

George bravely told the truth about society, government and freedom of speech. He would shout what he thought from the mountain (or at least the stage) and make you laugh while thinking about what he said.

One of my favorite comedy bits I remember, from one of his older albums, was the one about the dog farting. The people in the room were blaming the fart on each other. Then one of them cried out, "I saw the dog's anus open up!" Mom, dad, my sister and I laughed so hard at that, that tears ran from our eyes. George could do that to ya.

I will really miss George Carlin. He told the truth about the crazy antics of our society and he expressed his observations with the intelligence and humor that no one else will ever be able to match.

As a tribute to my hero, I've placed several videos of him doing what he does best at the bottom of this page. Take a look and a listen.

Rest In Peace

George Carlin

1937-2008

Pop Culture Monkey Worship

Strange fetish is how I'd describe what this society has for celebrities. A nobody with money and no talent like Paris Hilton grabs more press than starving people in third world countries. And I'm so sick and tired about what Britney is doing or the panties she's not wearing. Who gives an elephant turd? Whenever those "entertainment news" shows come on, I switch channels. My life is more interesting. Hopefully, you find that yours is, as well.

Apparently, there's enough of you Pop Culture Monkeys out there watching and sucking in all that wisdom your heroes spill forth on the tube that keep those shows a' rollin'. In rehab. Out of rehab. Screwing this celebrity. Screwing that celebrity. Getting drunk. Marriage. Divorce. Settlement. Being quoted for making retarded remarks. Rinse. Repeat. So on. So forth.


I think all those important stories have been recycled about a billion times over. Don't you?



And then there's the sick, bow-down-to-their-feet worship of millionaire sports figures. Please, oh please, give me your autograph, Mr. Football/Baseball/Basketball God of Mine. Because of what you can do with a gameball, you are certainly worthy of the praise and hours-long ongoing debates of men with nothing better to talk about.


You see an image of Billy Bob Thorton on the left. Why? Because we're talking about celebrities. And I like the guy because I think he may be crazy- for real. And I think he's funny and a great actor. But I don't love the guy. He has no more value than you or I. Believe it or not.


But if you want real "monkey shines", then you won't have far to go while channel surfing, because within seconds, you shall hit upon one of the surest signs of the impending apocalypse. Of course, we're talking about the insepid reality tv show. Why are we so fascinated with ordinary retards, like ourseves, speaking imbecilic dialogue to each other? They know they are being filmed. So naturally, they're going to say and do things they wouldn't normally do. It's that 15 minutes of fame mentality.


It's like monkeys watching monkeys isn't it? I guess the producers of these cheap-to-make-lame-ass programs think that because these are ordinary folks, such as us, supposedly, that we feel a real connection to them. I know I don't. I'd rather watch a show with good writing involved and real acting. I can't and do not identify with some moron living in the same house with other morons spouting off inane patter.


Talk shows like Jerry Springer or Oprah aren't any better. Jerry has his trailer trash freaks that do the side show bit for trailer trash boob tube watchers. Oprah does her acting like she truly cares routine for ratings. They all have their agendas and cravings for certain demographics.


The media does their best to grab your attention away from the real stories and we usually gobble up whatever slop they're offering.


Remember.... your life is more interesting to you.


At least it should be.