In the past I thought the Twitter and Facebook social networking websites were kind of an odd joke. A lot of folks go on these sites and tell other folks about every trivial little thing they're doing at the moment. Example: I'm scratching my head and thinking about a donut- or something equally as fascinating. Some people, like me, go on Twitter and Facebook to basically joke around with blog pals and every once in awhile, say something of significance. That last part, about the significance, is mighty rare, by the way. The likelihood of you seeing the U.S. budget deficit decrease in the near future may be a more common occurrence.
Then you have those who use one and/or the other as a way to promote their website, in varying degrees. Of course, there are the family and friends who go on either one of them and have real discussions with each other- at least, as real as a discussion you can have by reading and sending meager 140 character text-based messages (for Titters, that is). With "Fartbook", you have a little more space to write your oh-so-important messages and status updates. But, really, who gives a good shit, right? lol.
And what's the deal with people texting these messages on either one, saying they're not home and they're at this place or the other? I see that sometimes. Isn't that like inviting somebody to break in and rob your place while you're gone? Just a thought.
As you can see, I still think of both websites as kind of a joke. Personally, I use both of them for a little joking between friends and a little blog promoting (very little). It's hard for me to take Fartbook or Titters too seriously.
For your confusion and mediocre entertainment, I thought I would share The Best? of my Tweets on Twitter.
Here they are...
Finally broke down and bought a new electric shaver. Used the nose hair trimmer on my hairy nostrils.Don't worry. It all came out OK.
Except for that booger that got stuck in it
I'm hiring people to test this booby trap that shoots darts at somebody's head. The pay is excellent. I'm offering a Granny apple.
God, I hate frickin' mornings. I don't know how y'all do it.
yay...you love me long time. Boing!
Was in the shitter stall at a restaurant the other day.Thought of something funny.Started laughing my ass off. I wonder what people thought
You can't take me anywhere. I'm always making a scene.
Earlier, I saw two mothers racing their baby-loaded strollers against each other.I thought it was stupid so I threw a hand grenade their way
I found out three days ago that I can split a wooden chair with one blast of my ass. That's a talent you don't find every day.
I need to clean my keyboard. There's stuff on it I don't recognize.
Annoying people won't stop calling me today. Shut up, annoying people. Go away, please. I don't want your "crazy" right now.
I just got a haircut. Don't ya just hate it when the tiny bits of hair make ya itch around your neck?
Hurry up, coffee. Brew, muthasucka! Brew! I needs ta wake up.
Oh, sweet lawd... the coffee iz ready. Oh life-giving coffee, I wanna make piping hot love to thee. I wanna feel the burn, baby. sssss
I think I'm gonna lay down for a nice nap and dream of naked clown orgies.
Who took my sausage? Where are my notes? Is someone peeking at me from around the corner? Ah! Aliens!
Diddly doo diddly dee- I'm off to climb a tree
The coffee is making me piss a lot this morning. Maybe I should drink less. Nahhhh.
The story has a bit of everything. Wisdom, surrealism and a vagina mouse.
turds... I just thought it hasn't been said enough today
To all who have read my exciting entries thus far, have a good night or morning or whatever it is to you.
My ass cheeks are on fire from sitting too long.. Gotta get up and cornhole some furniture. That will put a smile on my face. Mmmm.
The most popular Google keyword to finding my site is animal genitals- just because I did one post on that subject.
I hear some idiot digging in the trash bin below me in the parking lot. I think he's digging for cans. He does this about every night
This is like talking to yourself but instead- typing on a keyboard. Does this make one crazy?
MERRY GODDAMN CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL. HO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF VALIUM...or whatever it takes to get ya through holiday hell.
In 3 more hours, a tribe of rabid family members will breach my hectic household and wreak chaos, kids, inane chatter and property damage
You can find more Christmas spirit in a frozen turd than you can find in me this year. What a surprise, eh?
Oh for the love of sanity, people, keep your friggin' gifts and just give me a tiny taste of peace and tranquility
Aaaah, look at all the hair on the palms of my hands! I shall repent hastily. wank wank wank
i KNOW ALL 'BOUT THOSE FAMILY SHIT STORMS. gOING THROUGH SOME HEAVY BATTLES IN THE WAR ZONE NOW. OPPS, MY CAPS ARE ON
oooh I just bet you do. I'm wearing my special underwear with dark brown skid marks. Are you lovin' it?
Thanks for that information.Now I know you're not home and I can magically transport to your place and spooge on your pillows
Thinking about going for my daily walk in the frozen tundra. Please, no one should attempt to rob the place while I'm away.
I have an attack cat that will rub up against your leg and meow if an intruder should come in
16 degrees F. here right now.The weatherman said if you go outside tonight,naked,you'll get frostbite on your wiener.
My belly is too full for me to sleep. I wish I could take a big plop. Then I would feel good as gold again. Damn these Thanksgiving dinners
gobble gobble... then squish, squirt, plop and splash. Thought the visual might help.
Humunna- Humanna- Humanna... Don't know what it means... but I've heard it before. Goodbye, sanity. Hello, tranquility.
BP CEO Tony Hayward wants his life back. And why does he always have that stupid grin on his face? He seems like an egotistical idiot.
I say we drop Tony in a lake of oil, set it afire and watch the fun.
will there be boobies?
Lick My Salty Meat Sack Today For A Better Brighter Future Tomorrow
Life is a carnival of insanity. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.If they try to, hit 'em with a taser gun or something.
I miss you,you bastard.Hey Qelgoth,I'm back and I'm twice the evil I was before.I make cat fisting look easy now.
Help. Help. I've fallen and I can't stop twittering and saying profound stuff
Remember the good ol' days when Bush and Cheney blew goats and snorted coke off the backs of trannies with Down Syndrome? What fun they had!
Rain, Motherf***ker, Rain! It's pouring down like crazy here. AHA HAHA HAH AHHAH AHAH HAHHAH AHAHHAHH N HAHAHHAJDDIT
The older I get, the more I tire from this crazy human species. This world needs an enema
People who dress their pets in outfits should be taken out to the woodshed for a whippin'
I'm playing cornhole with my goat.
Just got back from my walk around the park. The fountains were spurting green water and the snow is finally melting.
Were you hit by lightning? In the head? Let me help you. There are those committed to helping the deranged. I know.
automagically should be a real word
If lovin' is bad I don't wanna be good
If you hit your thumb really hard with a blunt instrument, your apology will be accepted. :)
My farts smell like fresh made bread or something that smells like it poofed out from the rectum of the Pillsbury Dough Boy
Lordy Lordy, puddin n' pie, kiss da girls and made them fly.
Currently, I'm singing a song I just made up. It's called "I Hate People". If you know the words, you are invited to sing along with me
Neil Young is almost the only remaining cool guy that's still talented and has been around for ages.
Just made a big ol' pot of chili. Salsa is my secret weapon, when added to the pot. Think about it. Salsa has everything you want in chili
It's time for revolution, everyone! Be it yourself or the rest of humanity!
That's it, folks! Hell, if these fascinating entries don't make you wanna FOLLOW ME on Titters, then gosh, I don't know what will. (rolls eyes)