This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

My Three-Hundredth Post

My first post on Psycho Carnival was created December 13, 2007.

Back then I was an amateur, an Internet virgin, if you will, in the Blogosphere, completely new to all of the glorious-ness (yeah, right) and often times, utter bullshit of the world of blogging. I used and still use this site to rant, rave, entertain, dazzle with my brilliance, vent out feelings of my depression disorder, humor, inform and everything in between. I'm a multi-dimensional human being. Why shouldn't I have a versatile blog that shows it? For that matter, why shouldn't every blogger have a multifaceted blog? Surely, they don't have a one-sided, dull-as-hell aspect to their personality?

Or do they? Tee hee.

Hell... Someone that just found themselves on this site might think me a loon with multiple personalities with the way I go from producing a post chock full of sardonic humor to another tainted with serious information to yet another post that's more or less a ruthless diatribe of grievances on a particular subject. Oh, how many times have I reflected upon our apparently insane species?

Who knows? Perhaps I am a loon, as well. Better yet... Do I give a hearty fuck?

Can you guess the answer?

The Point: You never know what you're going to get when you drop by for a visit. And I'd like to keep it that way. Like I eluded to before... 'multi-dimensional human being = versatile blog'.

One thing that does remain a constant on this site is my full blown honesty about everything. At times, if you've been even an intermittent reader of this blog, you know I can be brutally honest about others and especially myself. I'm like that not because the reader can't see me (my pretty picture of my screaming face doesn't count) but it's because life's experiences has worn me down or straightened me out, somewhat, and taught me the lesson that It Does No One Any Good, Most Especially Yourself, To Be Dishonest.

Trust me when I say that being truly honest is a true relief for one's peace of mind in every way possible. If that sounds simplistic, that's because it is. Pure and simple. Get it? Lying, superficiality, all forms of deception and people who smile while they are saying something unjustifiably cruel to another human being are things and actions I absolutely despise about fuckers, ahem, I mean people.

Well, no, I actually meant fuckers.

I'll get off my soapbox... For now. Heh heh. I get a little carried away.

I'm frankly surprised I've been running this site long enough to have done 300 posts. I thought it would be just a way to express myself for a short stint. But that hasn't been the case, obviously. Along the way, I've connected and interacted with many bloggers over the years. A multitude of those folks have "left the building" so to speak. I haven't heard from or seen anything new from them. They just quit blogging for whatever reason. Maybe their lives outside of blogging took over, preventing them doing it any more. Who knows? If you're a seasoned vet of blogging, you know the story and have seen your share of bloggers come and go, as well. In some cases, it's a real shame because they really contributed something special to the net... Which is rare and of true value.

And I'm not so egotistical that I don't acknowledge the fact that numerous amounts of bloggers have been at their projects, their creations, their babies and their blogs for a whole lot longer than I have. No, siree. I have high respect for those folks. Blogging can be a tiresome, mind-straining, brain-busting activity very often. And often times, the payoff comes only when you've completed a post that you can be proud to display to the rest of wacky folks in the world of blogging.

In closing, I'd like to thank those bloggers and readers who have hung with me or visited this site on this insane Internutty Journey and have interacted with me with good humor and/or common sense. Peace out, brothers and sisters! You may now go back to porn surfing... If you have gotten this far down the page.

Honestly and Insanely Yours (but you cannot detain me, literally),

The Great, Mighty and Ever So Humble-Kelly (aka MasterHeathen)


bazza said...

Congrats Kelly. You're a star!

Gucci Mama said...

What do you mean I can't literally detain you? You promised!

The Wolf said...

300 Holy dog nuts Batman that's alot of posts, I don't think mine is at 50 yet. Congrats on the landmark, now remember don't let the fame and power go to your head.

klahanie said...

Hi Kelly,
Well a big hearty congratulations on your 300th posting.
You were a great discovery and I'm real pleased I have kept reading your excellent posting.
Okay, at first, I thought, 'holy shit, what's this all about?' Then I realised so much more about you than just quirky humour (just for you I will spell it 'humor') and zaniness. I saw a dude who was open, honest and yes indeed, transparent.
I have a lot of respect for bloggers like you who can do a variety of writing styles. Keep going and keep up the good work.
I know that you use your writing as a positive and therapeutic resource. I can so relate to that. Thanks for your interaction. Here's to you continuing to entertain us in the wonderful and sometimes wacky world of blogging.
Congratulations again and can I have your autograph?

Kelly said...

bazza- Thanks bazza. And it's about damn time somebody acknowledges I'm a shining star. Cover thine eyes from thy overwhelming radiant greatness. lol.

Was that just a little over the top?

Kelly said...

Gucci Mama- Well, okay. A promise is a promise. I'll report to your Dungeon of Infinite Love, pronto. See ya. :)

Kelly said...

The Wolf- 300 holy dog nuts? Are they serving those during church mass these days instead of that tongue wafer? And who gave away my secret identity as Batman? Damn it!

I'm afraid the power and fame has already gone to my head, Wolf. In fact I stopped typing out this comment while in the middle of the orgy of women I got here in my lair. Its "hard" to type when ya gots a half dozen women slurpin' on your ding dong. Yesiree.

Kelly said...

klahanie- Yes, you may have my autograph, Gary. I will only charge you a hundred dollars... because we're friends. And I have no idea what the equivalent of that amount is in British currency. I'd look it up but I'm busy with my throng of female fans suckin' the last few drops of penis squeezins from my meaty member. :)

You know how it is. :)

Hey Gary, thank you so much for what you said about my writing, our great and positive interactions and more. You're right. I do strive to use this blog as a therapeutic resource. From reading so many of your posts, I can easily tell that you use your blog in that capacity and your words and thoughtfulness are incredibly reassuring. You're the real deal, dude.

And yeah, I bet when you first checked out this blog, you did think it was completely fucked up. I'm glad you hung around and dug deeper to find out that it and I are more than what meets the eye.

Take care, friend.

The Wolf said...

I heard they do indeed serve those at churches. They come in three flavors, salted, bbq, and recently neutered. I had that exact same problem once myself with the orgy....then I woke up looked around realised I was alone and sobbed for two was a dark time indeed.

The Wolf said...

I heard they do indeed serve those at churches. They come in three flavors, salted, bbq, and recently neutered. I had that exact same problem once myself with the orgy....then I woke up looked around realised I was alone and sobbed for two was a dark time indeed.

Kelly said...

Those sould like 3 tasty flaves for holy dog nuts. I feel for ya in regards to that dream orgy but I tell ya what. I'm feeling so generous tonight, I'm going to let you hop on over to the Heartland of america, here and partake of my super fine harem of womenfolk. I need a break. The ol dick-a-roony is getting sore. Besides the seminal supply in my own holy nuts has been depleted.

Are you feeling sorry for me, yet?

I know. I know. I'm a gracious host and all around swell dude for allowing you to give each of my gals a taste test. And you can thank me later by scoring some herb for me.

I meant 'herb' for my special homemade spaghetti sauce, of course. :)

Sir Tom Eagerly said...

I dub thee knight. Arise Sir Kelly. We can only bathe in the glory of your reflected light.

klahanie said...

Wow, check you out. Sir Tom has bestowed upon thee a knighthood. Of course, you being American, it can only be an honorary knighthood.
Anyway, all hail Sir Kelly :-)

One of The Guys said...

Your honesty, sincerity, intelligence and humor are a potent combination Kelly. I've enjoyed being part of your zany and serious community.

As you say, we are all complex, and multi-faceted beings. That's what makes this world interesting.

Cheers to another 300 or more!

Kelly said...

Sir Tom Eagerly- Why thank you, Tom. That's quite an honor. Do I get a suit of armor and really big sword with this prestigious title? I've always wanted to be a knight. But then I've always wanted to be a wizard, vampire and chronic masturbator, too. Luckily, I've succeeded on the latter so I can check that off my list, as well.

Kelly said...

klahanie- Yeah, I know. Now, I'm doubly famous and just doubled over with the sheer delight of it all... even if it is just an honorary American title, like you say. Maybe... If you ask Sir Tom real nice... He'll rub-a-dub-dub you into being a real knight. Then we can both go off together to magical realms to fight dragons. You can bring the 'wee folk'. After all, we'll need squires to pack our shit around.

Kelly said...

One of The Guys- Thank you. That's nice of you to say. And I'm glad you've been a part of my community. Good lord, I can't imagine being able to do another 300 more but, if life has taught me anything... Anything is possible.

I hope you're able to keep up your great and helpful website, in years to come, as well. Take care.

klahanie said...

Greetings Sir Kelly,
That would be so magical. The 'wee folks', Sir Kelly, Sir Gary (if such an honour was bestowed upon me by the legend that is Sir Tom), sorting out dragons and, who knows, saving fair damsels in distress such as the beautiful fairy princess of Kansas who wishesh to be called my thee name of Fidelina :-)

Kelly said...

That would be most excellent, (Sir)Gary. A dream cum true. By the way, I double dog dare you to say 'wishesh' 3 times fast without creating a bit of spittle on your chin.

Saving the fair Fairy Princess From Kansas seems as though it would be a fair amount of work, however. Besides, 'Fidelina' could likely kill off any beasties coming after her with using only her beautiful "magical words"... Like 'Fuck You, You Fuckin' Fucker', for instance.

Instead, after a hard day's work of dragon slaying, I say we shall go forth into thy local tavern to enjoyeth some wenches and partaketh of funny smokes. What say you, Sir Gary?

klahanie said...

Ah good Sir Kelly,
Wishesh, wishesh, wishesh...(wipes spit from computer screen)
You bringeth up a good point. Thee fair maiden beautiful fairy princess-type damsel would no doubt dazzle any dragons or 'wee folks', for that matter, with expletives such as 'fucketh thou anal intruder! I'm the bestest fuckish fairy princess in the entire fuckish Queendom. Don't you messith we me slimethball!!!' or something like that :-)
Me thinkest, good Sir Kelly, that your plan of imbibing with some of thee finest spirits, partaketh in the consuming of said curios smokes and enjoyeth the fine company of thee tavern wenches, is a wondrous planneth...

Lana Gramlich said...

Congrats on 300 & many, MANY more!

Kelly said...

klahanie- I liketh your style, Sir Gary, even if you do spiteth on your computer screen every so often. :)

I can't sayeth much about that, after all, kind sir, for while I sometimes peruseth for porneth, I spurteth jizzeth on my monitor.

And I can see-eth the good Fairy Princess damsel saying exactly what you hath sayeth to thwart those pesky dragons. lol. If her words of utter endearment would not send them scampering awayeth, her many delightful charms might do the tricketh.

Glad to heareth you liketh my planeth. Let us maketh haste and meeteth at thy tavern to anally intrude on the wenches!

Tally ho-eth!

Kelly said...

Lana Gramlich- Thanks Lana. Me thinketh if I posteth any moreth, I will go-eth utterly insane.

Too late. lol. Take care. I'll be hopping by your site sooneth. Damn. I can't stopeth thith.

Mr. Stupid said...

Congrats on making it to 300. Hooray! BTW, you should post honestly about Green people from Mars...:)

Have an awesome day!

Kelly said...

Mr. Stupid- Thank you, sir. I do find it worthy of a small celebration.

And I shall certainly endeavor to post honestly about Green People from Mars. Their voices need to be heard, too. :)

Static said...

300 posts? Is this the landmark which you spoke of? I don't know whether to congratulate you or not. =P

Regardless. Who gives a KRAP what I or anyone else thinks. Keep writing. It's good for the mind...and the soul. Porn is only good for one thing...well...maybe.

Kelly said...

Well, gee... I'm not quite sure how to respond to that, Static. I do know I don't give a shit what anyone else thinks... But I'm not really sure how that has something to do with what I wrote.

Anyway, I'll keep writing as long as I think it's fun or a release for me in some way. And you're right about it being good for the mind and soul. It has worked for me in a positive manner.

Take care.

Dark Slander said...

Sorry I missed the party dude, I really had been through a lot blog and reality wise. Congrats on the 300th post.

I hope to be as widely respected as you one day. :) or just as bat shit crazy!

Both'll work for me!

Kelly said...

Dark Slander- You've been missed, yourself, dude. I thought maybe some blog groupies kidnapped you and were raping your sorry ass. Heh heh.

Seriously, I'm sorry to hear you were given so much trouble about that picture. Thanks for the congrats on the 300th post. I owe it all to my ever-increasing insanity and my will to put out such masterpieces like "Toadie's First Love".

Anyway, come on and dive back into the World of Blogging and taste the sweet, sweet rewards of success. Hahahahaaaaaaaaaa.

Static said...

Those one-sided, dull-as-hell personality aspects have a hell of a way of popping out from time to time, lemme tell ya. Those fuckers need to go get fucked. Btw pass me that herb and let's party..this shit house is going up in flames!!

..and...where's post #301 god dammit??! =P Love ya, man. *big hugs (in a totally heterosexual way)...

Kelly said...

Static, my man... and I say that in a totally heterosexual way, how's it been hangin' with ya? Again, I ask in a totally heterosexual way.

Dude, are we gonna party like it's 1899? If it's like that, I'll put on my top hat and we'll take a ride in my horse and buggy for a rousing good time.

Where's #301? Why, my dear man (totally hetero), it's right above this post. Title: Toadie in "First Love". It's a very tasteful, romantic romp that's sure to put a twinkle in your eye and peehole.

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