This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Characters We Encounter On The Internet and Beyond

When I say the word "characters" in the post title here, I'm thinking of it in two different perspectives. The first being that the character is a living, breathing person you will meet on the internet or in real life. The second perspective is much deeper in that the character is something, a persona, if you will, someone portrays and maybe even pretends to be on the internet and in real life.

Of course, there are those whose character, or mask that the character wears that comes pretty close to who they really are inside. I personally don't believe everyone is able to mirror exactly who they are inside with what they show on the outside. No one can be completely transparent and, in truth, I believe each person will act at least a tiny bit differently from who they are or how they feel according to where or who they are with at the time- whether it's on the internet or in real life. Even sweet and adorable me is like this. It's just human nature. No harsh judgments are to be presumed or assumed here, necessarily.

Still with me so far? Hahaha. Yes, this will be one of my more serious posts- sort of. Don't run away! Be brave, soldier! You've got the guts and the stamina... or something. :)

I'm going to describe some of the following characters that we encounter, time to time, on the internet and in real life. Some rub us the wrong way. Some inspire us and make us happy. And then others, well, you get the picture... perhaps. :) While describing these characters, you could also interpret these "characters" as not really characters, really, but qualities that people have or don't have. It's all in how you interpret it... all a matter of perception.

Ready for the ride? Buckle up. In no particular order, I present to you...

Grammar and Punctuation Nazi

This irritating piece of shit will delight in showing you the errors of your grammatical ways to instill in themselves a sense of self-importance. You normally encounter these assholes on the internet in the forums, social networking sites, blogs and more. As long as everyone can understand each other, I encourage the Grammar and Punctuation Nazis to go fuck themselves with their over-inflated, dildo-shaped egos so far up their colons, that they cause ruptures, internal bleeding and painfully hemorrhage to death while gloating about where the semi-colon should be placed.


These characters of which I'm talking about are the type of folks that will encourage you to do something positive in your life, whether it's in your attitude toward a problem or a course in life you may wish to give some thought toward. They're also beneficial in consoling you with words and/or actions in order to make you feel better during difficult times. These kind folks are truly the precious gems and great finds amongst the piles of living, breathing shits that surround us in real life and on the internet. Kudos to the Supporters!

Missing The Point Prick

This person or character will purposefully or not purposefully miss the point you are trying to make in a blog post or in a real life discussion. He or she will usually pick one teeny bit or particle of something you've said that really didn't have that much to do with the point you were trying to make, overall, and then proceed to create an entire debate, diatribe or whatever over that one insignificant word or phrase. The "Missing The Point Prick" is closely related, in many aspects, to Devil's Advocate, who I will get to in a few seconds.

Passionate, Direct and Honest People

As I grow older in life, I've noticed there are less and less of these types existing these days. Passion has been replaced by true or false statistics or what is fed to us by corporations, governments, some college courses, books or people we sometimes blindly follow without question. Being direct and honest is covered with outright lies, heavy blankets of sometimes deceptive subtlety and the continuous fear that we shouldn't make waves because it will make certain supervisors, family members, friends, characters you interact with on the internet and more either uncomfortable or angry. I applaud those who are brave enough and passionate enough to be direct and say the truth about things how they really are. Life is too short for bullshit and we already have a surplus in that. Kudos to the PD and H people out there!

Trolls, Spammers and Link Droppers

Kill them all.

Positive Informers

These good folks will actually supply people with information and/or points of view that either benefits others or entertains them in some way. Humor bloggers, history bloggers and a whole variety of bloggers fit into this category- not that I'm trying to fit anyone into a particular category. There are some folks, like me, who are able to write about anything. Blessed are the versatile writers- for they know no limits to their capabilities and will not be pushed around by those who say you must, for the sake of gaining followers or hits, stick with one genre or another! Hip Fucking Hip Hip Hooray! Excuse me while I shrug off my over-inflated ego and high-in-the-sky soapbox. Heh heh. God, I'm such a delightful sarcastic bastard! Or so I believe.

Perceptions... perceptions.

Of course, you can find Positive Informers in real life, too. Moving onward...

Devil's Advocate

One who continuously argues against a cause, position or point of view of another human being on every subject, not as a committed opponent but simply for the sake of argument and/or to feed their own ego. In other words, that's how they get their twisted jollies. Even if they believe they may be wrong, deep down inside, they will try to make you feel that you are wrong or worse yet, somehow inferior. Sick.

Studying this person for a time, you will eventually come to the conclusion that this motherfucker has some form of unchecked mental illness churning about in their diseased minds. Insecurity, depression and other factors within these people may instigate or spur on this type of behavior that causes most normal, rational people to want to stay the hell away from them. Often, the Devil's Advocate will be unable to keep friends, spouses and others they interact with around for very long until the asshole (the Devil's Advocate) is bludgeoned to the point of making them a disgusting paste on the wall or ground. Do I advocate the use of violence against these annoying cretins of society? You betcha! No therapy for you, fuckwad!

Which brings us to...

Truly Open Minded People

Good golly, but I love truly open minded people. They're able to see many different points of views and angles on as many controversial subjects. They normally don't take themselves so seriously to the point where they believe themselves to be 100 percent correct all the time. All hail the open minded- for they are the truth seekers of this world! They don't give a shit about being contrary or right but, instead, search for meaning and knowledge from other individuals and in all things.


Uptights display tense, repressed nervousness, pettiness, anal retentative behavior, irritability, anger and/or the inability to withstand even the slightest of what they consider to be foul language or naughty words or the images of sex organs of the natural human anatomy. For example: They may announce, while visiting an art museum, " Oh my! I do declare! I believe I'm going to faint at the sight of this statue's stone penis or this painting's suggestive phallic symbol." Or some such nonsense.

I consider them weak and attempt to avoid them whenever possible. If you barricade me in a locked windowless room with an Uptight for any longer than a day, I will go crazy and twist their head right off their freakin' neck even as they complain that I said the word, damn, only an hour ago.

Often, Uptights are unable to give expression to one's feelings or personality. This is most noticeable in their unwillingness or incapability to laugh at a crude joke. Or what they think is a crude joke. They also tend to stubbornly adhere to rules that have been laid down to them or rules that they, themselves, have given themselves to instill an odd sense of complete control. Many times, they will inflict these rules of behavior upon those around them- Coworkers, friends, family, individuals on the internet and so on. Uptights may see themselves as the Masters of Organized Living while others may see them as Ultimate Pains in The Asses.

So there you have it. These are just a handful of the characters that we meet on the internet and in our real daily lives. Who knows? You may act like any one or a combination of these characters in a given situation or you may live like this all the time. Personally, I believe a little introspection is good for the spirit and the mind for continuous growth and discovery. It is something of value and worth considering.

24 comments: said...

Sorry, you lost me at 'sweet and adorable' for a few seconds there. I was drinking a soda and choked a little.

I wonder how my peers would rank me? I know I consider myself to be open minded, somewhat supportive, but always frank. I think at times the prick in me comes out, but only when I want him to.

Fun, insightful post. I must meditate on this...


middle child said...

This was a very good post. All I can say about myself (in reference to your post) is that it seems people do not see who I am. I don't know if it's the way I talk ot the expression on my face or what.

Jenn Thorson said...

Sounds like you've had some fun studying, oh, the Yahoo News comments- a troll-commenter paradise, where I've seen MOST of these types implemented and sometimes simultaneously.

Only not so much the nice ones.

I don't even know why I read the comments on news sites because I KNOW how petty things will be. But I still kinda have to look. It's like looking at a car accident as you drive by, I guess. You know it's not good, but you need to know HOW BAD it is.

klahanie said...

Hi Kelly,
Well, my friend, I think you were spot on in this thought provoking posting.
I so know what you mean in regards to the various characters, in 'real life' and in 'blogland'.
And the "Grammar and Punctuation Nazi" can shove it up their 'semi-colons!'
I like to think of myself in the 'supporters' character and truly believe that we should encourage and demonstrate positivity amongst each other.
Of course, we know, all too well the "Missing The Point Prick". They will skim through a posting, pick up on a key word and leave a rather vague reply. Cynically, I might say that a few of them do this just to self-promote themselves and really have no interest in what's written.
I'm not going into detail in regards to the rest of your posting. However, I do note some very positive and some very negative aspects that make up the real world and the good and bad sides of blogland.
I do like to think, that over all, I personally embrace and try to maintain the more noble attributes that you allude too in this most interesting posting.
With respect and kind wishes, Gary :)

G said...

wow comprehensive list!

Personally I hate the gramma police and all there kind...the language evolves move this the times. My boss is one of these so it's probably why it gets my back up lol

bazza said...

All well observed and true but I think the best commentors are those with whom you have built a rapport over time. Then you can be frank and know you will not be upsetting someone. Also because I now fully understand your sense of humour (I think!) I can 'get' a post quicker. This must have been a post that you were working on and had stored away; it's too good to be off-the-cuff!
Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

Anonymous said...

If the Uptight Blogger had an evil twin who was its fanatical opposite, that would be you Mr. Versatile!

Deborah said...

Hi, just popping in to say hi. saw your link on Annabelle's sight and I got a kick out of your most recent post. :) Per your suggestion, I'm going over to check out your friend Gary as well. Have a great night! :)

Kelly said... Lol... yeah, if someone told me I was sweet and adorable, I'd choke on my soda, too. Believe me when I tell you... How I am on the blog is almost exactly how I am in real life. That can be taken for what it's worth. :) I think you're on the same wavelength I'm on. It's difficult to see yourself from another person's point of view. We may not be as good or bad as we think ourselves to be. And there again, another person's point of view of you isn't 100% accurate, either. Thanks for the compliment at the end of your comment. Yes, by all means, meditate on this post. lol.

Kelly said...

middle child- Thank you! I think a lot of people feel like you do in regards to how people see themselves. I know I do, to be honest. Anyway, I know what you mean by the "way you talk" and the facial expression aspect.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I've become harder or somewhat colder due to past experiences and lessons learned. I sometimes wish I could go back to being more naive and softer but I can't. But, there again, how I perceive myself could be different from the complete truth. I do know I'm honest in what I say and with myself. Take care!

Kelly said...

Jenn Thorson- Lol... Yeah, I've read those Yahoo news comments. Most of those comments show a perfect example of why the Human Gene Pool is in need of a little bleach. I try not to 'study' there too much or it gives me a pain in the head and nausea in the stomach. But, of course, you can see these types almost anywhere, can't you? Nice ones, like you mentioned, are rare.

I know what you mean when you say, "It's like looking at a car accident as you drive by..." and so on. I have to look, too, even though I pretty much know what to expect after all these years. I'm 47. Anyways, I'm glad you paid my site a visit and I appreciate the comment. I'll return the favor when I get done playing catch up here. Take care, Jenn.

Kelly said...

klahanie- Gary, thanks for thinking I was spot on, dude. You and I are on the same wavelength almost always- it seems. And yeah, the Grammar and Punctuation can shove ALL of those marks way up their collective hiney holes. What petty little fuckers they are!

You are definitely in the Supporters group, man. No doubt. I also see you in the Positive Informers and Open Minded People's groups, as well. You've always had my admiration and appreciation. I agree totally with you on the 'Missing The Point Prick' estimation. Very dead on. When they do that, I want to crush their heads like over-ripe melons. :)

Take care, Gary. Hope the rest of your week is peaceful and positive.

Kelly said...

G- Agreed, man. This list was a biggy and I think I covered pretty much every type- good and bad. sorry your boss is one of the bad types. Grammar police are such a frustrating pain in the ass.

Kelly said...

bazza- You're probably right about the commentors remark, Bazza. I think you have to read someone's blog for awhile before you get to know them well enough to get them. I think that's why I've always been honest with what I say from the start since doing this blog in 2007. I know this is going to sound egotistical on my part, but I'm going to say it anyway... I think the reason some folks in blogland and real life have trouble reading me is because I have a very complex personality. I know how that sounds and mind you, it's just a theory.

Btw, I think you're doing a terrific job of getting to know my sense of humor. :) It ranges from dry to warped to somewhere in the middle. lol.

Actually, believe it or not, I wrote this post just today in less than three hours. It took awhile and I really put some thought into it. But I have had these thoughts on the different types of people and/or attributes rattling around in my head for decades. In the past, I've imbued my posts with the same ideas you'll find that are in this post. I really enjoy and appreciate your perspective and comments, Bazza... and your own Positive Informing blog. Take care, my friend.

Kelly said...

The Minute Man's Wife- Hahahahahahaha.... The truth is... YOU DON'T KNOW HOW ABSOLUTELY RIGHT YOU ARE about that. Yee hee hee hee. And if you knew me, like my closest real life friends do, you would really think me EVIL. Yee hee hee heeeeee.*

*Freaked out?

Take care, my friend. :)

Kelly said...

Deborah- Thanks for popping in and saying hi. I'll pop in on your site when my work here is finished. :) Glad you enjoyed the post. I think it's one of my better ones. Gary has a great blog, too. Take care!

shanaz@RS said...

Amazing witty and informative piece. I had a good chuckle and went on a bit of self-introspective mode for a bit to check if I fall under the not-so-lovely categories. Guess what, I think I'm just the humble supportive type. Ahem. Thanks Kelly for such a wonderful read. I truly appreciated this.

Kelly said...

shanaz@RS- Hey, you're most welcome, shanaz. And thank you for the wonderful compliments- very much appreciated. Yeah, I tried showing both the good and bad characters/qualities everyone encounters on the internet and real life. I think a lot of people may be a little bit of each. It was my intension to have people take a good look at themselves while reading this and I'm glad that you did. Take care and thanks for commenting!

Bless My Bitchy Heart said...

My God! This post cracked me UP! And SO dead on! Thanks for the giggle! *ouchie* my face hurts, especially from the missing the point prick & devil's advocate, although it was ALL hilarious (please don't add "gratuitous suck uppers" to your list, swear I'm NOT one of those weirdos). Thanks again for the laugh!

Kelly said...

Bless My Bitchy Heart- Thank you very much for that. Very much appreciated. Sorry about your face. :) I promise not to add 'gratuitous suck uppers'. lol. I think you find most of them wherever you work, anyway. At least I have- and they're a pain in the ass. But what you said was funny. Thanks for commenting and visiting PC. Take care.

THE SNEE said...

Hi Kelly,

So sorry I'm late to the fun. Not to make too many excuses, but I'm fighting a nasty bug, and have lost contact with my blog friends this week. So This is one of my favorite Psycho Carnival Posts. I think about this subject not only in regards to others, but myself. How REAL are any of us when online? What I love about writing is that mostly people's personalities are revealed, and so it isn't terribly easy to 'lie' about who you are. I also
agree with Bazza that much of the fun and gratification comes from the relationship and rapport that is developed over time. Very well written. I love posts that make me laugh
and think at the same time.

Kelly said...

THE SNEE- No need to apologize. Know what it's like to be sick. When I'm sick I'm usually feeling so bad I can't concentrate or do anything. Thanks for the compliment. That's true... How REAL are any of us online? Yeah, I think you can convey more of who you really are by writing- if you are honest about yourself and to yourself. Also true about the fun/gratification from the relationships and rapport over time. I truly value the online friendships with you, Gary, Bazza, LilPixi and the rest of my long-time blogger pals. Speaking of LilPixi, you probably know by now she's out of the hospital and mending as I write this. I appreciate your comments, as always and I hope you have a great day.

LilPixi said...

OMG, I've been missing some EPIC posts here!! It would take my way too long right now to elaborate on each & every one of these types in my current condition, but this post was so full of awesome sauce, it hurts!!

You have quite the talent for explaining things & being humorous, my friend. Teehehee. =)

Kelly said...

LilPixi- Hey, don't worry about being elaborate on every post in your condition. Your health is more important. Take your time with everything. I sincerely thank you, though, for the compliments on my talent on those things, though. That's very cool of you to say. :)

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