Friendship Flea Market (Part 1)

I will break this series up into 3 parts in order for all of you to benefit from it's detailed awesomeness better. There will be two posts about this event on this blog and the last post will be on my photo blog, Pics for Kicks, in the near future.

This is all about the Friendship Flea Market. A spectacle to behold! I went here several weeks ago and it was hot and fun. We go here twice a year for our bi-annual dose of all that is good that humanity has to offer.

You've heard me talk, a little, about our bi-annual tradition of going to the Friendship Flea Market, in search of odd and/or cool items or completely ridiculous stuff before in the past. I've also talked about the variety of rednecks, ugly fucks and freaks you'll encounter. But this time around, I'm going to go in depth, share a couple of interesting links and put up some captioned photos I took for you to be entertained by.

The following descriptions of the Friendship Flea Market come directly from their main website. Of course, some interesting data has also been added by yours truly. And no, by 'yours truly', I don't mean you can have lovable ol' me. I'm not cheap, unless you ladies suddenly drop to knees and start sucking like your life depends upon it. Which it might, if I have my gun handy dandy. Ha ha. What a wonderful, acceptable joke that was!

Seriously, I don't own a gun. Maybe.

Friendship Flea Market is not just a market, it is truly an event. The market features vendors of every sort, a variety of dining options, camping, and nightly bonfires with a live band. Admission is free and parking is only $3 per car. In the year 2011, the market celebrated it's 43rd year in Friendship, Indiana. Feel free to observe some of the patrons authentically dressed in buckskins, loincloths, and pioneer garb. Feel free, also, to witness sunburned babies, screaming in strollers, left alone by teenage redneck parents and the friendly tank topped people walking their Pit Bulls, dogs that will gladly chew off one of your legs, while you casually check out the 200 different varieties of salt at the spice booth.

Everything imaginable can be found at the flea market. Look for unlimited treasures including, furniture, knives, guns, sex toys, bongs, one hitters, porn movies, antiques, jewelry, clothes, crap that no one wants, rugs, toys, tools, electronics, lots of leather and related items to the more primitive. They even have books for sale for people that still read. Imagine that!

The flea market has 2 – 9 day shows every year in June and September, the same days as the National Muzzle Loading Rifle Association hold their Spring and Fall Shoot. You can hear the shoot going on nearby while you shop, eat, endure sunstroke and walk through endless aisles of assorted stuff. In fact, the shooting, which is going on maybe 1/8th of a mile down the road, will happen, abruptly, without warning and will sound so loud and close, you'll swear you've been shot at least a half dozen times during the course of a day's visit.

Now, what the heck do you suppose that Sugar Glider is thinking about all of this?

This is the first part of a series. Anther post about the Market will become available in the days ahead. Stay tuned!

Lion Tries To Eat Baby at Zoo

This is adorable. See the lion open up it's mouth real wide to... Well, I don't want to give too much away.



Lions are cute when they're that age. Wish I could say the same for that horrible little thing making all of that annoying noise.

Fun Houses

When I was a little kid, I'd go to the town fair and they would always have either a really crazy looking fun house or a terrifying one. The first time I entered inside a fun house, I got trapped in this tumbler kind of thing that spun you up and over, round and round (like a clothes dryer) until you received a concussion or fractured elbow. Loads of fun. This was back in the late 60's and early 70's where they didn't give much thought to safety issues. Then there would be the claustrophobic mirror rooms to contend with. I'd walk into mirrors, almost in tears, trying to get the fuck out. I almost had a seizure from the panic attacks endured, trapped in those rooms. Luckily, I wasn't scarred for life having been exposed to that shit. Just a few years.

On the subject of fun houses, this seems to be the kind of house that would be fun to live in.

What's that nursery rhyme about the old woman that lived in an over sized shoe, had so many children, she didn't know quite what to do-- so she let the government foot the bill, keeping the rugrats fed, schooled and clothed while her vagina steadily grew to the size of a fun house?

Yeah, you know the one. I think she lived here, in the fun house pictured below. After awhile, the woman, a human vending machine, didn't bother going through labor or pushing down hard to get the bloody little bundle of joy out of her ever-widening gaping clam. She needn't try. Often times, she'd bend over to pick up a lit cigarette that fell out of her blubbery mouth or a dropped, halfway drunken can of beer and the lil' cutie would just kind of plop out onto the roach-infested floor.

The old woman (who just looked old because she was a meth addict) wouldn't know she had given birth until she stumbled back and tripped over the infant, causing it to cry out, cursing it's very existence into this world and the fact that it's mother was a drug addled whore with festering sores covering 80% of her body. Luckily, the kid rolled out of the way, onto a bed of dead rats, before it could be crushed by the stinking behemoth.

Later, the darling little baby couldn't tell whether it was sucking on a nipple, during breast feeding or a pus-filled skin ulcer that reminded one of a strange, nightmarish teat.

Otherwise, it was a nice house. Friendly neighborhood, too.

The next pic isn't so much of a house as it is a photo of a building. But it would make a nice house. Sure, it's been through a couple earthquakes, but hey, no house is perfect.

This next one is a bounce house. They call these things fun houses, too. People buy and rent these "civil lawsuits in the making" for their kids' parties. It's supposed to keep the kids occupied. They jump all around in these big inflatable enclosed rooms, cracking their heads and bones together, causing each other to scream and cry and have all kinds of related fun.

All I see, when I look at one of these things, is the end result. Someone always manages to get hurt and bloodied. Yes, indeed, nothing says "party time", more adequately, than one of these plastic, injury-causing monstrosities. Good luck with one of these fuckers at your next kiddiefest!

At least this next "fun house" has a sense of humor. Sure, the neighborhood kids, your offspring and their rabble of pals will sustain multiple broken bones, chipped teeth and contusions, but at least they'll be able to come tumbling out of a rabbit's asshole, eventually. Gotta look on the bright side!

This next shot is for an establishment that is a kind of "fun house" for grown ups. This fun house is a bar and grill in my general area. I've wanted to take a picture of this sign forever, but didn't do it until a month ago. "Hummers" is a really nice name for a bar, isn't it? Big red lips, right there on the sign for the place. Great piece of advertising, that is. A place you can go, get sloshed and meet that special someone.

Someone that's just perfect for giving you a hummer, hence the name.

After getting your hummer for the night, why not make a stop at this next fun house. At this fun house, you can eat all the doughnuts you desire, while the doughnuts busily soak up all the alcohol in your belly. Afterwards, if you haven't thrown up all the doughnuts in the toilet bowl in the back room, you may decide to make a return visit to Hummers and do it all over again.

And wouldn't that be fun?

Sick Jokes

What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

-- The fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out

I used to be a sadistic necrophiliac with a penchant for bestiality, but I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day when she looked at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies."

So I fucked her in the ass, pulled out, and came all over her face and hair.

I guess we don't watch the same movies.

A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her young daughter's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect." To which, her daughter replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that."

Two homeless men are standing around bragging about their day. The First hobo says "Today I found $20, and was able to buy a nice hot meal. It was my luckiest day ever!".

to which the second hobo replies: "Oh yeah, my day was way better! I was at the train yard, and found a woman tied to the train tracks. After I untied her, we fucked all day"

"Did you get a blow job?"

"Naw, I couldnt find her head"

An elementary school teacher, a lawyer, a Catholic priest and three young boys are on a plane with only three parachutes. Engines explode, plane starts going down.

The teacher says, 'Save the children!'

The lawyer yells, 'FUCK THE CHILDREN!'

The Catholic priest looks around and whispers, 'Is there time?'

A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line.

"You must be single." the clerk says.

Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?".

"Because you're ugly".

A woman successfully gives birth after several hours of labor. The doctor takes the baby and leaves the room to perform some tests. Several minutes later, the doctor returns with the baby in his arms and then suddenly begins to punch it, kick it, throw it about the room and slam it against an adjacent wall. The woman screams, "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY?!" To which the doctor replies, "April Fool's! It was already dead!"

Rape isn't a laughing matter, unless it is with a clown.

Q: What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

A: Not being retarded.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house?

A: Depends on how hard you throw them!

Controversial Topics

The following are my opinions, beliefs and what have you, regarding today's controversial topics. They are supposedly controversial in the U.S., anyway. I'm not looking for an argument, nor am I attempting to persuade anyone to think the way I do on these subjects. I've learned long ago that spending too much time convincing anyone of anything is usually futile, tiresome and a waste of my time. I just felt like throwing these convictions out there. If you wish to comment, regarding whether you agree, disagree or haven't decided yet on all or any of these topics, feel free. However, try not to get too crazy or worked up about any of them. I don't want anyone to push themselves into a heart attack or brain hemorrhage. Or... Well... Maybe I do. You'll never know. Heh heh.

Also: A lot of people think there is a gray area with some of these issues. I happen not to feel that way.

Blah. Blah. Blah. Here ya go!

Gun Control- People have an issue with this because they believe it is dangerous for people to keep a gun inside their house. It is dangerous, only, if you don't keep your gun in a secure place. For the most part, people keep their guns locked up. The few who don't keep their guns secured safely and, as a result, a death or accident occurs, should be punished. So... I emphatically disagree with those who oppose the rights and free will of citizens owning guns and having them in their homes. This is another issue to me that seems pretty simple and straightforward. I know there are some of you out there in the Unreal World who would like to make this a gray area type of subject but it's not. Sorry. Well, actually, I'm not. Heh heh. Everyone has the right to protect themselves. End of story.

Abortion- It's murder. What's worse is that abortion is the killing of an innocent life. If the baby is unwanted, give the baby to an adoption agency so it may be allowed to live. If the woman of the baby is raped, the baby should still be allowed to live a full a life. It is not the baby's fault that it's mother was attacked by a worthless piece of human shit. The only gray area, albeit, a touch of gray in this issue, is if there is a situation where the baby, for certain, is endangering the mother's life. In my opinion, the mother should be the one to survive. But, overall, I believe abortion to be wrong. And this statement is coming from someone who isn't that crazy, in general, about kids or people. Kind of ironic, aye?

War On Drugs- It hasn't worked. It will never work. It is a pointless endeavor on the part of our government. Making drugs illegal only benefits the Mafia and drug dealers, monetarily. If we were, for instance, to tax cannabis, like we do cigarettes, we would be able to remove a lot of this country's national debt and we could use that revenue for many things that the states of this country needs. Such as the reparation of roads, bridges and schools. I'd also like to point out the obvious... Marijuana is not dangerous. Alcohol, which is legal, on the other hand, can be very dangerous. Hard drugs, such as heroin and crack, I agree, are incredibly threatening to one's health but it should be left to you whether you do something stupid to yourself or no not. It's your life.

The Death Penalty- I'm all for ending the life of a serial killer or child abuser/rapist. These are not innocent people and are deserving of death. I will cheerfully pull the lever for the electric chair or the trigger of a gun if I were asked to do so in order to end a guilty life, while showing absolutely no remorse as I do so.

Religion- Is bullshit. All organized religion is. People have used religion as an excuse to create war. Religion is a man-made creation, designed to push people into acting against rational behaviour.

God- Yes, I believe in a higher being or beings that created the Universe. Call Him, Her or It whatever you want. If the name, God, works for you, so be it. I don't have proof of His or Hers or It's existence. I only have my own particular faith and feelings to go by concerning "God". I believe in an afterlife, too. All of those folks who have had Near Death Experiences can't be wrong. I base my belief in some personal experiences I've had in the past, as well. Long stories.

Illegal Immigration- The economic and social consequences of illegal immigration are staggering. Illegal aliens have cost billions of taxpayer-funded dollars for medical services. Illegal Immigration is a net drain on the economy; corporate interests reap the benefits of cheap labor, while taxpayers pay the infrastructural cost. If the person wishing to immigrate here has a green card and is honestly striving to become a citizen of this great land of greed, vanity and insanity, well, then, I scream, "Welcome to The Psycho Carnival, fuckers!"

For all those wishing to engage me in some insane argument about any of this, please, don't bother. I have better things to do with my time than get into a heated dispute... especially on the Internet. Instead, pop open a beer, put up your feet, don't take yourself or life too seriously and watch this hilarious video. Aloha.

Baby and a Snake

Some crazy parents in India believe, according to their religion, that it is good luck for a baby to touch a snake or for a snake to touch it. Either way, it's fucking stupid. This video clip freaked me out. It's been around for a couple years but it's the first time I've seen it.

Baby Ronald McDonald

Strange. Turn up your volume for the full effect of this clip. Let me know if you're "lovin' it"?