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This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Bad Service, Truths and Perceptions

There's been a lot of false starts, bad service, unwanted absence and too much of that unwanted shit and not enough of that preferable shit going on around here.

I hate to complain (actually, I quite enjoy it since complaining acts a release valve on my usually bottled up seething rage) but as I found myself on the righteous track of coming back to the wonderful world of blogging, a series of incidents preventing me from making a triumphant stay in my own neck of the bloggy woods occurred once again.

Hell, for a couple days there, I was even able to put out a couple posts without anything falling out of the sky to cave in my head. I thought I was in a utopia or paradise or an island filled with beautiful women, cheerfully sucking my meat pole for all it's worth. And it's worth a great deal, let me tell ya. At least to me. Okay, so that part about me feeling like I was on an island filled with tasty gals slobbering on my knob was an exaggeration. But I was starting to feel not tormented for a change in life and it was pretty decent, to tell ya the truth.

My friend asked me to go to his place to wait on a cable repairman (that didn't come) while the friend went to work. I owed my friend a couple favors so I did it. Besides, I'm a helluva great buddy. It's true! Believe it or not!

But the cable guy neither called or came. So my friend calls up the company support number when he gets home, listens to instructions on pushing this numbered button for this department or reason or service which connects him to more instructions for more buttons to push until he finally reaches a real human being and then proceeds to talk about how unsatisfied he is with the service.

He has a helluva lot more patience than I do. He had been without cable service for three days and the company he was dealing with had been promising to send somebody and no one called or showed up.

So instead of being at home, I was at his place, listening to the radio, reading a book and not doing anything on my blog or visiting other blogs. It sucked. And I did this on Monday and Wednesday, for my friend, waiting for the repair dude. I know. I'm a great friend. I mentioned that, right? Of course, when my friend got home from work both of those days, he fed me. Monday, it was grilled steaks for my wife and I. Wednesday, it was a dinner at a good Mexican restaurant.

By the way, the cable repair dude finally showed up Wednesday. He ended up temporarily fixing the friend's TV reception but said that the problem was actually the tuner on his TV. In other words, it wasn't the cable company's fault for his shitty reception but they are at fault for giving him the runaround and not giving him service until he finally reached an upper management type person during that last phone call he made.

Now, Tuesday, I was without Internet service. This would be the day between the days I sat at my friend's house, waiting for an idiot repair guy. I called the tech support, as I was going through some severe withdrawal symptoms from not being able to go on the Internet and after pushing several buttons to direct me to this number or that number, I was finally told a message by an automated machine. It said: There is no Internet service (with the company I have it with) for the entire state (I was living in) for an indeterminate amount of time but our experts were working on the problem.

There was no apology for this situation but at this point I was thinking:

At least the voice was clear and not heavily accented by somebody in India or Russia or BumFuck, Egypt. Usually, when you contact tech support for whatever electronic fuck-a-ma-jig you own, you usually get some asshole you can't understand.

Bad service is getting to be like a contagious disease in this country from what I've read, heard about and seen, first hand.

Don't ya just love the push button routine you have to go through with these companies? If you're lucky, they might give you a number to push to speak to a representative. But it's usually not the case. Especially when you want service within the next 24 hours.

I could go on and on about bad restaurant service but I'm sure you've had your own unfair share of that, too. Like when they don't give you a refill on your drinks. Or don't get your order right. Or bring your salad, main entree and dessert, all at once.

Since I'm back for the moment and terribly paranoid now about attempting to actually research a subject and write up a real post without something else happening, this post will have to do for now. Please enjoy the rest of these images, featuring truths and perceptions. Good day, good weekend and I'll try to catch up on all your blogs later after I get some shit done around here.

I thought I'd offer a wonderful clue at this point in the post: If you can't make out what you're ssseeeinng, use your fucking mouse to click and enlarge the image.

I'm always the Good fucking Samaritan. I tell ya.

I really liked the not-so-subtle truth that can be found in this Saturday Night Live skit. I know it's an exaggeration but there is a bit of truth and a big heaping helping of humor to be found while watching this. Heh heh.

36 comments: said...

ROMG, I'm having Sexual Harassment Panda flashbacks thanks to your lower half.

Sorry about all the drama, I guess when it rains it pours. What irks me is I remember some national law getting passed that said major companies need to offer a "Cut through the bullshit" option and let you just hit zero if you don't want to jump through hoops.

Maybe it didn't pass? Maybe I just dreamt it? If so, why am I dreaming about that, and not wild monkey-sex with Anne Hathaway???

Vince^_^ said...

This blog is godlike.

DocStout said...

Solid rant, and I agree completely. I've also had recent service issues interfering with getting blogging done in a timely manner, though I've managed to just grit my teeth and post late. Stupid Comcast.

Annabelle said...

Dammit I had a moderately clever reply...then I forgot about your (please god make it go away) word verification and lost it.

Who do I call to complain?

ed said...

cool of you to do that for your friend, bad customer service sucks

LoneIslander said...

When is comes to customer service on the phone, I just yell and press random buttons until they give me a human. Works every time.

Kelly said... I'm just thrilled I could provide you with flashbacks of America's Most Beloved South Park character besides Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo. Nah, though it may have passed in some states, my state, for one of many, doesn't have that "Push 0- get a real human option"

Hey, I wanna have wild monkey sex with Hathaway first. You can have sloppy seconds!

Kelly said...

Vince^_^- Thank you, Vince. I agree.

Kelly said...

DocStout- I'm glad you can relate, then. Service and customer support of that kind stresses me out. I'm trying to tell my problem in a courteous way but they still tend to push it til I explode. Btw, my friend had Comcast Cable. That was the company he was having such trouble with.

After seeing what he went through with them, I'm glad I chose another company. I doubt this had any effect on the repair dude, but I placed a big advertisement for the Dish Network in plain view close to the TV set. I doubt if my point had much or any effect on him but it made me laugh a little.

Kelly said...

Annabelle- Dang it! I wish I could have seen that moderately clever reply. Dang me for that word verification set up. Oh well, someday, I suppose will overcome my feelings of guilt.

I farted. Amen.

Kelly said...

ed- Thanks, Ed. You see, I can be Mr. Bastard, one minute and Mr. Nice Guy the other. Does this make me crazy? Pretty much. Yep.

And yes, bad customer service blows goats.

Kelly said...

LoneIslander- Wow! I wish I could do that. I think I did that during a fit with being put on hold and it might have worked. I heard a voice from somewhere. I'm not sure. I was screaming and pulling the hair out of my scalp with one hand and playing with the phone buttons with the other.

Then the police came. There was a shootout and then... Well, the rest is a seeeeecret. :-)

Rico Swaff said...

This month is the half-year mark for me not having access to the net at my house. I am not saying this to one-up or sound tough, I am saying this because it SUCKS! I hate being limited to my parents and work cpu.

Anyways, hope you can get that shit figured out...and I hear you when it comes to those automated voice messages. I especially hate it on 411....I have to repeat the name of the fucking town like 5 times before they finally comprehend.

Pickleope said...

No service for the entire state!?! That's a company that just said "Ah, f#$% it, let 'em burn." The automated voice activated phone menus are great if you just say "and s#!%" after every menu option.

THE SNEE said...

Oh Kelly! I'm so sorry that your recent last few days have been consumed with gnawing flys. You still managed with humor and flare to get a great post though. I thought you were going to end on the upbeat Buddha message at first, but see you continued on with other 'wisdoms'. The video of sexual harassment is HILARIOUS! I laughed. I needed that since my own days are consumed with nuisance given the move, and transitions.

I hope the weekend settles out, and you get to go outside and take a well-deserved breather.

Mrs. Pickle said...


I have been wondering where you have been! I have been on my computer everyday at 3:00 PM waiting for you to sign on. Never have you missed our 3 o clock cyber sex sessions until now. I was starting to think you did not care. But now I see it is just because life circumstances have been fucking you in your ass. I am glad to see you are back on the internet. I will be patiently waiting today at 3 for the usual.

LilPixi said...

I really loved those pictures, Kelly!! The Buddha quote was one of my favs too.

Bad customer service is really becoming like a disease in this country. It's unbelievable! Why, just a few nights ago I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant & the waitress walked by us numerous times for 20 minutes before she finally stopped at the table. So many foreigners think it's okay to be serving the public in this country, but not speaking or understanding a word of fucking English, and the companies just seem fucking okay with this. It's crazy! If I were to live in their home country, I'd want to know WTF what I was doing, hearing, and saying.

That was a funny skit, and it was kind of a weird week for you, huh?

I really hope you can successfully get back to our regularly scheduled programming around here. ;~} So much love to you, Kelly! I hope you have a really wonderful weekend!

Alphabeta said...

You grumpy (but kind) old bastard.

But no... in fairness, that number-pushing routine drives me nuts.

Finally you get through to someone who doesn't give a damn and just wants to knock off work already.

What do they do?
Disconnect you.

I always make the mental note to write down names for next time.
Then forget.

Dave said...

I think that the quote by Budda is so true. Excellent post.

Kelly said...

Rico Swaff- Oh man, then you can relate Big Time, then. That's a pain in the ass for you, going to your parents. I imagine at work, you lack some wanted privacy, at times, too. My only other way of getting the Internet, besides here, is the library, which is a pain in the ass because there's no privacy and you're limited on usage there.

I know what you mean by the 411/repeating location deal, too. And yes, everything is fixed here and things are looking up. Hope all is well on your end. Have a great weekend, Rico!

Kelly said...

Pickleope- That's what my ISP probably said. "Fuck 'em all!," every staff member there, cried out, in unison. :)

If I say "and shit" after every menu option, will I get some magnificent reward?

Kelly said...

THE SNEE- Howdy, Rebecca! Hope you're taking in some pleasing sights during your travels. Even if the transitions are a nuisance for obvious reasons. The gnawing flies have disappeared, here in these parts and things are looking up for us, most definitely. Yeah, I try to do it all with humor and flare. Ya gotta laugh at it all sometimes to keep your sanity... or what's left of it.

Tricked you on ending with the Buddha message, eh? Tee hee. That was my intention all along.

Glad you liked it all and I'm going to take a big breather this weekend at a grill out. Take care, Rebecca! Good weekend to ya!

DramaQueen said...

Holy bejeesus I could go on forever about our cable internet company. Your buddy should switch to who I use, since they love to send people out to "take a look" instead of actually troubleshooting over the phone. The other night we knew damn well there was an outage, but just for fun we sat on the phone with the idiot tech, listening to him deny any outages in our area. He of course wanted to send a tech out, and we let him schedule the appointment for a time we knew we'd be asleep. Just for shits and giggles lol.

Kelly said...

Mrs. Pickle- I apologize SINCERELY about not being here for our daily cyber sex sessions. I'm hoping with all my might that you give me forty virtual lashes for my absence. I promise to giggle while you take it out on me. :-}

I'm glad you are understanding. Oh, and sorry for missing today's session, too. Please don't hurt me... much. My ass already hurts from Life's Circumstances. Have a dandy weekend, Mrs. Pickle. May all your dreams cum true.

Kelly said...

LilPixi- Yeah, I'm with ya on the Buddha quote. That one can be a difficult thing to do but it's definitely something to aspire to. Your "waitress at the Mexican restaurant experience" would piss me off, too. That's happened to my wife and I before and we usually give them not too great a tip for lousy service. They can smile all they want and act friendly when you're first seated. But if they plan on walking by 20 times, they shouldn't ask, "Where's the tip?" And I feel the same as you do on the other point. If you're living and working in the country, learn the language. You're right on! I would- if I were living in another country. Companies and restaurants all need to get their shit together on this.

Yeah, it was a weird ass week. Glad things have settle and so much is looking good now. I'll be getting back to my regular scheduled programming- with no commercial interruptions. Have yourself and dandy weekend! <3 and Farts to you, my friend.

Kelly said...

Alphabeta- Yes, indeed, I IS A GRUMPY OL' BASTARD. Hahahaha. With a heart of gold... or something.

I'm glad to hear you're with me on the annoying, time-consuming push button routine. The company idiots do it to save a dime but they care not for REAL CUSTOMER SERVICE. and letting the voice automated crap do the work, does a definite disservice to the customer, for sure. I've been disconnected many times, too. Man, that drives me wicked nutty. :-) Take care!

Kelly said...

Dave- I do, too. And thank you, man.

Kelly said...

DramaQueen- I was trying to convince my friend to switch to who I use but he is too friggin' stubborn. Your fun with the idiot tech over the phone sounds like the evil kind of fun I will engage in, at times. Kudos to you for such ingenious cruelty. Shits and giggles!

Hey DQ, have yourself the dandiest of weekends. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Like shit and giggle. Oh wait. I've done that.

Static said...

I hear ya. After reading this, I feel like you aren't just a blogger to me, you're a human being with needs. And you need to leave Indiana. You can stay in my garage until you find a box to call your own.

In any case, I don't even bother with those automated systems anymore. I just show up at one of them there corporate centers with a shotgun and C4 strapped to my body. Clears up any misunderstandings right away.

Kelly said...

Static- Ah, I wish I could leave this state. Can't. Yet. Thanks for the garage and the box, though. Mighty white of ya. The shotgun and c4 method of getting those companies on the straight and narrow sounds like a grand idea. What the heck... Why don't ya just bring the rocket launcher and hand grenades, too?

Have a dandy weekend!

Static said...

So far so good, and it's only Saturday. A rocket launcher and hand grenades, eh? Looks like I've got more shopping to do.

Kelly said...

Static- Oh, boy. It's going to be a party.

Static said...

Don't forget to bring party favors: like "Scrabble", "ecstasy", and the "crack cocaine".

Kelly said...

Static- I can bring the Scrabble, no problem. As for the other two, I have no idea where to get them nor do I want to know. But if you can scrounge 'em up for other folks, feel free. We want everyone to be able to have good wholesome fun at this party.

Lana Gramlich said...

Great video--ain't it the truth???
I totally hear you on everything in this post. I find it funny that we're expected, as good, patriotic Amerikans, to get out there and buy, buy, buy, but there's no expectations that corporations provide goods and/or services that are worth a damn. I'd be a more active consumer if everything wasn't such a fucking rip off, y'know?

Kelly said...

Lana Gramlich- Sorry it's taken me so long to respond, Lana. When I think of this country, I believe we might as well rename it America Inc. I agree. We are subtly and sometimes, not so subtly, brainwashed to be good little consumers and buy whatever shit these companies are producing. And right right... Most of the shit out there is a rip off. Like adding insult to grievous injury. Take care, Lana. Glad we're on the same wavelength.

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