New Awards and Predictions

Awhile back, blog author, Gary Phillip Pennick, of his blog, Klahanie, gave me and much more other worthy recipients two awards.  One is called the Fabulous Blog Ribbon Award and the other is the One Lovely Blog Award.  I'm finally getting around to giving him a proper thank you and doing a blog post about it.

Gary, himself, rightfully earned and received these two awards and gracefully bestowed them upon six other blog authors besides sweet lil' ol' me.  I would like to acknowledge his generosity by mentioning these awards and pass them along to other blogs I admire and have enjoyed:

1. Pickleope
2. Happyendings- Confessions of An Erotic Masseuse
3. DCRelief
4. The Angry Lurker
5. Angry Clown
6. Homeless in Seattle
7. In Search of a Russian Oligarch

Be sure to check out the great blogs above and tell them Kelly, of Psycho Carnival, sent ya!  Sure, they may be confused by this, but fuck it, do it, anyway... just because I said so.  

The rules that accompany these awards state that the recipients of the awards are "encouraged" to pass along or forward one or both awards to 7 other recipients.  You're also supposed to mention five fantastic moments in your life.  Well, as you know, probably by now, I'm not much of a follower of rules or polite etiquette of any type.  But I did want to pass along the awards to those I deem worthy of receiving them.  Those blogs and their authors don't need to feel obligated to relate five great moments in their life, unless they so desire to.  Nor are they obligated, at least in my opinion, to put the award(s) on their site or say who gave them the awards.  Gosh, it's not like I'm a glutton for ego-maniacal gratitude or something.  No way... no how.

Also:  Since my next post, I had already decided, was going to relate to things pertaining to me, more personally, and some of my unique opinions on different topics, I've decided to skip the "great moments" list at the time.

But I would like to share my predictions for the coming years of our existence as a species, in the absence of this list.  I know that the big ol' Mayan prediction and other predictions, foretelling the the chaos and/or substantial change in the human race for the date of December 21st, 2012 is kinda on the minds of people these days.  Personally, I think, on that date, we may see some people getting "all nutty" about that particular day since it has been so hyped up in the media, that they might just cause riots here and there, causing, in turn, some needless trouble and pain for people just trying to get on with their lives as if it were another day.  Which, it might turn out to be the case.  Just another day, I mean.

But here, before you, are my TRUE PREDICTIONS for what will absolutely happen in the years to come.  I'm providing you with these life altering predictions because I CARE A LOT.  Yep.  For sure.  Here ya go:

* Sometime in the near future, corporations and people around the world will endeavor to stop polluting this planet we inhabit.  The Arctic ice will cease melting.  Temperatures and climate will become stable.  Wars over fossil fuels, power and land will no longer continue.  Rainbows will appear out of nowhere and unicorns will dance among the children.  Strangers, holding hands, will suddenly burst into heartwarming songs and share an overwhelming feeling of peace and goodwill towards one another.  And the homeless will be welcomed everywhere and given shelter, loving care and food.  Not long, after these events occur, I will shit gold to share with each and every one of you.  It's true!  Just like everything else I said.  Yep.

* Movies will have involving and interesting plot lines.  Gone are the flicks that satiate a mindless public.  People will actually crave more original and fascinating entertainment than ever before.  Oh yeah, baby.

* Mitt Romney will become president of the United States.  The economy will drastically improve.  The middle class will be sustained and prosper.  People across the country will, simultaneously, eat healthier food. The elderly will be given better healthcare and respect. Education will become an all important issue, will be improved upon and every child will learn and grow to be a fine, upstanding citizen.  Animals, that were once on the endangered species list, will come back and flourish and multiply around the world.  The mentally challenged will suddenly take flight, using their arms as wings and delight us all with their colorful, enchanting antics by colliding into bridges and mountains.  Because of this spectacle, a few individuals will giggle until they fart.  But then...  A large hairy ape will descend from the heavens above and let loose with a powerful stream of piss that will shower the world with luminous, wondrous magic.  All true.  Every word.  Count on it!

* Old diseases like Cancer and Diabetes will be cured by researchers for big pharmaceutical companies because, after all, they care only about eliminating the diseases, altogether.  Never are they even slightly interested in making profits off of people like you and I by selling pills and such to treat the symptoms.  Heck no.  I'd say, in about a year, all those horrendous diseases that have been around for decades and centuries will be a thing of the past.  Nothing to worry about.  Just put your mind at ease and think of butterflies fluttering about the flowers of life.

* Racism and gender equality will be eagerly talked about.  Soon, everyone will be accepted for who they are and who they wish to copulate with and love.  Trees will learn sign language, too.

* Cars, trucks, planes, ships and tricycles, even, will be powered by a completely unique form of endless, profitless energy.  Corporate and government scientists, after working diligently on creating this free energy that corporations won't care to profit from, will be shown gratitude by all the world's population because people will suddenly be grateful for the good things offered to them and will gleefully projectile vomit on these learned geniuses by way of reward for their years of long, hard work.  There will be such an atmosphere of absolute positivism, that leprechauns, minotaurs and Ewoks will erupt from the ground to spray forth load after creamy load of jism upon the people.  People will happily gobble it all up like hungry maggots and instantly become more strongererer and smarterererr and erererer.  Henceforth, this day of celebration will be officially known as Merry Spooge Day.

That's all I have for now.  So, once again, just put your mind at ease.  The human race will be just fine.  We're evolving into something great and wonderful.  Yes, indeed.  We're certainly not devolving into societies of war-mongering, hateful, polluting assholes who don't give a real shit about what we do to each other, the animals and the planet's atmosphere.  So... yeah.  Feel free to throw caution to the wind and smile, smile and smile some more.  Our future as a species is looking just fine and as promising as ever.

Have a dandy day, one and all!