This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Behold My Power of Observation

Hello.  My name is Victor, the owner of the Human, Kelly.  The human slave (I lovingly refer to him)  gives me food, drink and shelter while I carefully observe his race who call themselves Human Beings.  I, on the other hand, have a more apt name for them.  They will always be DumbAsses to me- or any other living being, besides Humans, on this planet.

Hey Humans, while you're not polluting the planet, exploiting it's resources, killing each other and treating those who don't have much of this sad excuse of an outdated medium (you call money) for the exchange of goods with great disdain, as if they have less value than a pile of roach crap, could you do something useful- like helping each other out?  Ah, fuck it... just keep texting each other about the same old mundane crap.

You think the wilderness is full of terrors, viciousness and challenges for survival for us low level animals....  Try living within the Human Race.  They actually try to make it harder on themselves.  Increasingly so with every day and year that passes.  Here's a whip, Fucko!  Go flay yourself like you know you want it- real bad.  Do the whipping of your backs and minds with your head in the "sands of denial" or in the "sands of acknowledging what's wrong but you're going along with it because it's easier that way".  Yeah, that's the way you guys do it.

Then injure or destroy someone else.  Put on another good show.  Call it a war.  Kill people for gods and/or greed!

Your big old brains, that you're so impressed by, have conjured many new and exciting ways to hurt one another with each year.  Someone who is innocent- or not- can get a taste.  And by the way, it isn't any fun unless you're engaging in one or two bloody wars at the same time.  So I've seen from most of you.  And you think I am just lying around, sleeping, licking my crotch and chasing bugs.  Ah-Ha!  Can you not see the power in these glowing yellow eyes?

I've got some very predicatable news for you, Humans.  The rest of us seemingly less worthy animals- which you also treat with your varied obvious degrees of indifference, with the exception of a minority of you, can see you've been acting like imbeciles for so long, that now you flaunt it, flamboyantly, and accept stupidity from one another like it's the greatest sunset that's ever appeared out of God's Asshole.  (Newt, Romney, Santorum, Bachmann)  Those are just a few politician's names.  I haven't mentioned any names from any other categories, like from the wealthy elite,the indifferent majority, the spectacularly cruel... and so on.  Most of you Dumbasses, I find, in the end, are interchangeable.

I was reading what this man, Ralph Nader, said about your typical  Human greed for money among politicians, and when you get down to it, everyone else.  Literally or not, you Humans stick knives in each other's backs and allow pricks to rule over you while they tell the poor and the general public, in general, to go fuck themselves as you allow it to happen.  A good many have protested such behavior of the wealthy elite among you.  I have nothing but respect for them.

When you're done destroying what you can of the planet before you cause almost complete extinction of your own kind, I will cheerfully dine on your thigh as you quiver and blubber and begin to decay.  I will do it as you go through your death rattle- or even during your last words before taking your last breath.

My advice for you, as far as last words go, would go something like this-  "I did try to, at least, do a little something about all the corruption and did do one selfless act for another Human in my lifetime- or maybe not."  But hey,  if you did do something positive, Human, about the Human Condition or help someone or animal out, then BIG KUDOS goes to you.  I'd give you a hug but I'm too busy allowing Kelly to pet my coat of fur and then go into the kitchen for a treat made of ingredients that may be healthier than the slop they serve at these places DumbAsses, er, I mean, Humans, call fast food restaurants.  Maybe it's the equivalent.  Eh.  Who knows?  Where's my catnip?  This ranting is giving me a downer.  I need a buzz.

Speaking of slop, do you know that most Humans are ruled by their egos (slop) than their brains.  Imagine the mistakes that would be made by a race like that.  Yeah.  I mean...  How concerned are they with anything but themselves?  Catnip for thought.  

Like I said, there were/are a few of you who get it.  Here's one of them now.  His name was George Carlin. He wasn't just a extraordinarily funny Human.  He was an observer, who explained in detail, what was wrong with his race.  In the last six or seven years of life, especially, he painstakingly wrote books, put on comedy concerts and gave out words of wisdom that some got and some that didn't.  Pity to those who don't get it.  Pity to those that are close minded.

Here's your typical Human doing something more constructive than destroying his own home planet.  He's making a snot bubble.  Sure, he's no Rembrandt or Da Vinci but he may just be expressing a form of art  that no Humans have ever embraced before.  Humans are not exactly the open minded type when it comes to accepting change or differences in each other.  If you look closely, you can see that this guy has snot bubbles within snot bubbles.  I wish my hairballs looked that good.

I sincerely hope I'm inspiring you with the magic I'm creating out of my left nostril.
Here's another Human that gets it.  Bernie Sanders. Don't ya love it, when every so often, some Human speaks the truth?  Sometimes they have to have something dramatic happen to them during their lives or a sudden epiphany that helps them not be afraid to be open, honest and speak the truth without fear of repercussions from DumbAsses, er, I mean, Humans, of course.

Oh well.  Meanwhile, while you Humans go about your day, ignoring everything around you and perhaps creating chaos or being part of the problem, I'm just going to lay here and wait for the smoke to clear.  But, if I'm about to be wiped out, suddenly or I end up suffering an unpleasant existence because of your Human's Love for Self-Destructive Insanity, I can at least say I didn't have anything at all to do with it.

Here we see Humans sticking their faces up fake Humans' asses instead of up in their own, attempting to put the entire head in.  That way they can see no evil, hear no evil and be completely and blissfully ignorant of the world around them

It's Humans who are always at fault, in the end.  How many Human civilizations have passed, really, on this planet?  I wonder how many civilizations have passed due to their ignorance, cruelty and indifference.  I gotta say one thing for them...   Humans have that brilliant ability and natural ease where they can pass the responsibility of their negative actions on to whoever they deem fit or not accept it at all.  Yeah... Gee... I wonder what the end result of that attitude would be in the end?  Ah, well....

Have a great day, Humans!  Now pass me the catnip before your civilization's time is up!


The Angry Lurker said...

The cats right dammit......other races must avoid this planet like the plague!

Pickleope said...

Oh damn you, super-observant, social commentating cat!I'd be able to point out all the foibles and shortcomings of humans too if I sat around all day be pompously served...wait a second, how can a cat type? Kelly, pssssy, hey, Kelly, I think that cat has a ghost writer. Some damn human is helping that freaking cat!
I sadly agree with all the cynicism packed into this short space. I loved Nader's quote the best. And I live by the wisdom of Carlin. And yeah, it will be interesting to see how humanity circles the drain by our own volition and tragic ineptitude and apathy, or worse active greed.

Static said...

I regard this post as Marxist propaganda sponsored by the Occupy movement cleverly disguised as feline propaganda and I do not accept it as reality. Now here's a dog raping a cat to porn music, I've got developing countries to invade.

Annabelle said...

I like you Victor, I think you have all the answers.

Carlin would be my religion if it weren't for the fact that he is the reason I don't believe in religion. Miss him so.

bazza said...

From Bazza’s cat Ginger:
Hey Victor, chill! Don't upset your human or he might forget that he is only here to serve you!
And, speaking of civilizations that have passed - don't knock them all. The Ancient Egyptians had the right idea. They were cat worshippers.
Us cats are here to sleep, not rant!
Maybe allowing Kezza to live with you for so long has rubbed off on you. Chill, Victor, Chill!
Click here for Ginger’s owner, Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

billy pilgrim said...

hey victor; if humans bug you, you're on the wrong planet. this place is full of them.

i miss old george carlin. occasionally if the stars are correctly and i'm suitably medicated, lewis black can bring a smile to my face.

hey victor, i'll bet you a case of catnip you can't get the word verification right in under 5 attempts.

THE SNEE said...

MEOW Victor! Your Human better get you a new scratching post! I bet your current one is threadbare after that purrfectly on target rant! Yay for kitties with vision!

Kelly said...

From Victor to The Angry Lurker- So true, Human. Any race wanting to come to this planet would come for the resources or to make Human into slaves. I don't think Human would mind the slavery part. After all, they serve us and they already have the slave mentality embedded into them.

Kelly said...

From Victor to Pickleope- Hahaha. I'll take that as a compliment. I am super-observant- not to mention cute. I enjoy being pompously served by Kelly. Sometimes, when I feel generous, I allow the slave to pet my belly when he's good.

No on the ghost writer comment. It is all I, Victor the Great, typing this post and commenting back. don't tell Kelly or he'll want me to speak to him, too. And I don't really want to. Like a woman, I want him to automatically know what I want and what I'm thinking. I am self taught with the typing. I can paint like Rembrandt, too.

Kelly has told me that he lives by the wisdom of Carlin- not to mention Vonnegut, George Orwell, Ghandi, Einstein and many others. I think he reads too much and doesn't cater to my needs often enough, if you ask me. Yes, I agree, you Humans are doomed to circle the drain into final self destructiveness, by all those means and more you mentioned.

Kelly said...

From Victor the Cat to Static- Lol. I shall regard your hilarious comments as satire, my "comrade". No propaganda here, to be honest, just plain ol' feline wisdom. That video you linked to was disgusting and completely unacceptable to my high moral standards. I shall have to take this up with the proper authorities.

Now a monkey raping a goat... That's wonderful viewing and the youtube video is superb. I actually got up and danced to the beautiful music and lyrics. Me-OW!

Invade your countries, Human! Do what you do best while I sleep, eat, poop and make brilliant observations throughout the day.

Kelly said...

From Victor to Annabelle- I like you too, my lady Human. You are wise to know that I am a wise cat and therefore, all knowing.

Kelly would agree with you. On missing Carlin and having a religion. He believes people should belief what they want, and not pushed in either direction. Take care.

Kelly said...

From Victor The Cat to Ginger The Cat- I'm afraid my Human, Kelly, is already upset. Instead of tending to my many needs and making sure my water in my bowl is set at a particular cool degree, the slave is off doing things for everyone else in the world. Can't find good help these days, I suppose.

The Egyptians were wise to worship us. We should be exalted worldwide. Sorry my fellow feline friend, I won't 'chill'. These ridiculous Humans must be put in their place. If anything Kelly should be petting me all day long instead of rubbing off on me, as you suggested.

Fare thee well, Ginger

Kelly said...

From Victor to billy pilgrim- Humans bug me and if it were possible to go to a planet where I could actuaklly live on, I would have down do. As it is, I'm stuck with you Humans.

Kelly has said in the past that he misses ol' George Carlin and Kurt Vonnegut and the old National Lampoon magazine. He said they were major comedic and sometime philosophical influences in his life. He likes Lewis Black,
Tosh.0 and Bill Maher, too. As for me, I'd rather sniff catnip or my neighbor's female cat's asshole.

Although I find the word verification annoying a bit, at times, I'm usually able to get it on the second try. Call me gifted that way. :)

Kelly said...

From Victor, Wise Kitty and owner of Kelly to THE SNEE- Thank you, Rebecca of THE SNEE for your wise comment. True, my feline instinct and vast intellect has given all of these Humans an on target rant to think over. Whether they take heed to it or give it even a second's thought is another thing.

My Human has given me a new scratching post. It is actually the bottom support part of a three tiered cat tree. I hinted around for several years that he get me one and he finally did as wished. So far, I haven't wreaked enough havoc on it to cause it to be 'threadbare' as you suggested earlier. I prefer to not allow Humans to get me that upset. Instead, I shall continue to observe and rant, with quiet sophistication, upon the foibles of Human behavior. Have a dandy rest of the weekend, Rebecca, of THE SNEE. Sincerely, Victor.

G said...

I think it's all a giant experiment... lets see what a society focussed purely on greed can actually do to itself. Somewhere there are hidden secret observation labs tracking our progress to eventual corrupt, backstabbing, oblivion... Unless the downtrodden proletariat realise that the 'power of money' is just like the 'emperor's new cloths' and rise up in revolution!!! Or maybe they'll just keep jumping through hoops for another celebrity revelation about some puerile tit-bit from Kim Kardashian's life... Where's the emergency cord - I want to get off

Kelly said...

From Victor, The Great and Mighty Cat to G, Loyal Follower of Psycho Carnival- "The downtrodden proletariat" you describe will do exactly as they say, as a whole and will continue to do so- like leading lemmings off a cliff. A few Humans may rise from the ashed of a mostly destroyed world and will have learned the meaning of the beauty of truth... but that will not be understood until after the end.

Peace out!

Kelly said...

Another word from Victor, Cat of Sharp Scrutiny and Observance to All Humans Who Will Listen--- As a few circle the drain, some will become fully aware, conscious of what has happened, who has controlled, the pettiness of material wealth, what was at stake in the past and what is important now.

klahanie said...

Hey Victor,
Yes, it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, taking over his human's peeboard, I mean, keyboard.
Now then, my cat friend, I know what you're meowing, but you being an intelligent cat, will realise that not all humans are hell bent on destroying this planet. And there are kind humans who are not going to see the um 'Fat Cats', continue to impose their evil will on the sick, the weak, the vulnerable.
There is still a chance for this fragile planet. There are humans who respect the environment and respect that all living beings on this world have the right to be respected.
Victor, this may seem but an unrealistic dream. However, with the power of positive humans and positive animals, we can make a difference, for the better for all of us.
Pawsitive wishes and doggy kisses, Penny xx

Kelly said...

klahanie- Ah, so my canine pal, Penny, you have a peeboard, as well. Kelly loves it when I abuse his playthings like that. Except for the toys he keeps in the drawer. If I touch those, no catnip for a week for me.

No, Penny, I fully well know that not ALL HUMANS are hell bent on destroying the Earth. That's why I would mention the MINORITY that actually cares every so often. I will have to say and have said before, on many occasions, that Humans do engage in destructive and corrupt activities amongst the politicians, the wealthy, big government and even the common folk who carelessly, thoughtlessly throw their litter from a moving car or dispose of lethal chemicals in their waters.

I do hope that the Humans wake up someday, join together like you have suggested and not allow any more of this type of reckless, mass destructive, self-destructive behavior to slow down or cease, completely, but I don't see it happening. Nice dream, though, regarding about Humans doing the right thing, as a majority. for now, it's only a small minority. Too little and probably too late. Mind if I borrow that dream of yours for awhile? No, I believe the Humans who want change for the better should actively do things to make changes for the better- for themselves. Otherwise, the dream will only be a dream and it needs to be more than that in order to survive.

I'll gladly join you in your endeavor to make this world a better place for all Humans. Maybe Kelly has even encouraged such activity in the past, perhaps, by bringing up the consequential errors and tragedies Humans bring onto themselves and the rest of the planet. After all, you can't fix the problems without pointing out the problems in the first place. No sense in denial.

Have a great day, Penny. I hope Gary is taking you out for your daily walks in order for you to mark your territory on all the trees, cars, fire hydrants, mailboxes, old ladies, hobos under benches and so on.

dcrelief said...

Vic-baby. I don't have anyone like you; I'm just a lost human. But, uh, do you sell roach crap online; I really could use some.
It was more fun and enlightening to do face pudding prints than watching the political debates. My friend's dog reads body language, so we turn off the sound and watched... we're in big farking trouble, according to the dog.
Okay, I've gotta find my way back to the future post. Sure miss Carlin... reading his book, "When will Jesus bring the pork chops". Alright, bye for now.

Kelly said...

dcrelief- That's okay, fine n' dandy and just plain alrighty that you don't have anyone like me to own ya and give ya guidance or whatever. :) Sometimes Kelly isn't always the most obedient of slaves. One day, he forgot to put an ice cube in my bowl of water. For shame!

I gotta agre with ya. those debates, what I could tolerate of them in the few minutes I tuned in, was like watching a bad B movie... a terribly idiotic B movie where the players would say the most outrageous things and try to outdo each other on each outrageous thing said.

I miss Carlin, too. He was like a shining light of grouchy, truth while being funny at it, simultaneously. He inspired me. Take care, Dixie.

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