This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Friday, January 22, 2010

A Good Day

When you're able to take a brisk walk at the city park without dogs attempting to bite off your face, it's a good day. That's the kind of day it was, throughout. Today it was forty three degrees. Quiet. Serene. Trees that seemed to be itching to sprout leaves but unable to do so. And people walking to either lose weight or enjoy the walk by the beautiful fountains and gazebos. The park happens to be close to home. A plus. It's never too crowded, either. Most underused park in this county.

I walk there two or three times a week.

Before I continue, I want to state that I do like certain dogs. These certain dogs lick my hand instead of gnawing it off at the bone and are friendly in a non-hysterical barking kind of way. Yes, I'm a peace lover. Yippy yappy dogs irritate me.

A couple weeks ago, I encountered two dogs during a walk in the park (like I insinuated earlier) that were leashed, but hardly controlled by their owners. I guess they were the owners. It was two guys with camo/hunting clothing on. Nothing out of the ordinary in this redneck town.

Moving on: They were very aggressive large dogs. Note: I have a bit of dog phobia since I've been bit three times by three different dogs for no apparent reason. When I met these two guys and their barking dogs at the top of the path, I moved further away from them, half-afraid but more angry than anything else. The owners pulled on their leashes and the dogs kept moving closer to me. They were strong.

Their behaviour didn't seem to matter too much for the guys.

One of the guys (I mean assholes. Pardon me.) said what I knew what was eventually going to come out of his mouth or the friend's pie hole.

"Don't worry. They don't bite."

How many times have you heard that line from pet owners?

With my dog bite record and justifiable anger, that response sit well. I replied, "Yeah. Sure." They gave me the expected funny look and kept walking; as did I. Too bad I didn't have a taser gun. Just kidding. For the two guys. Okay. So maybe the dogs, too.

The next week I took my walk but I had a surprise in my coat pocket. As it so happens , I took my pet trainer device. It's a harmless device that emits a sound frequency that dogs, cats and I-don't-know-what to want to be very far away from it. This time, the dogs were quickly towing their owners away from me when I pushed the button on my pet trainer thingamajig. The guys were having a hell of a time trying to restrain the dogs, causing the guys to nearly trip and fall into one another.

That was fun and made the rest of my walk even more enjoyable. A good day, indeed.


L Avery Brown said...

Glad you were able to have a good walk! They do lift the spirits. I read a frew of your entries and I especially liked the one with the weird facts. I had no idea about hedgehogs or the odd voodoo beer thing...very very weird. But the one that gave me the most chuckles was about Goldilocks...sorta gives the fairy tale a modern sort of spilt and I'm sure the Brothers Grimm would have loved to have told it first!


Mr. Stupid said...

This was a nice first time visit for me at your blog. HAHA, so finally you did have a great day.
Well, I have a dog too. Every time I am at the park, I say the same thing - "He is not my Dog!"
The next time my Dog bites someone, I already have a defense...:)

Have a great weekend!:)

Me-Me King said...

Were the dogs humpin'?

Dark Slander said...

Nice little entry. I myself am not a dog person, although I do understand what you're talking about. Dogs who run their masters, or dogs who are far too aggressive and shouldn't be allowed in the public circuit until trained properly.

Glad you didn't get bit, and had a decent walk. I may go for one myself now.


Kelly said...

L Avery Brown: Thanks for coming by. Even more so -for commenting. You're that writer from the Personal Blogs group at BlogCatalog. I'll be stopping by your site (a second time) as soon as I'm done responding to everyone that commented.

Hey, glad ya liked the weird facts. I'm also glad you enjoyed the fun I had with the Goldilocks/Burglar story. Appreciate the laughs it gave. I've written nastier than that, though. A novella, of sorts. But that's another story. :)

Yeah, the Brothers Grimm may have done a "roll in their graves" with my version.

Kelly said...

Mr. Stupid: Sounds like Jim Dandy idea for a biting dog defense case. Btw, who is Jim Dandy and does anyone ever really say that expression anymore? Stop by again I'll be at your site when I'm done with my PR work here. Heh heh.

Me-Me: You sicko. Of course they were going at it! Lickety Split! You just wish you were there to watch and take pictures like some other blog -ahem- freak you may know. :) And I think you know you'll hear again from me soon enough. Frrrt.

Kelly said...

Dark Slander: I was going to respond to everyone at the same time but I ramble on too damn long and it ends up turning into a novel.

Anyway, welcome to the goddamn party, or blog, or whatever you'd like to call it. Insanity Fest?

I want to also say I fully agree with you. Really, any animal that aggressive shouldn't be allowed to roam around in the public -leashed or not. Hope you have a great walk, too. Take care. I'll stop by your site and see if ya got anything new "thrown up on the shelf" for me to comment on.

The Guy's Perspective said...

I love dogs, but hate aggressive dogs. But even worse still, dog owners that think the world revolves around their dogs.

And I've heard that one too, "He doesn't bite."
It should be, "He doesn't bite....well there was that one time...and I guess that other time too."

When I visit my wife's house in CT I like to go for a run. But I've stopped because of this very aggressive dog that comes after me. The only think between him and me is the "Invisible Fence." Are you kidding me?! That is not a barrier. The owner doesn't seem to care either. It got so bad that I don't even go on the run anymore.

Where do I get one of those devices? And how much are they?

Kelly said...

If you click on the above link you can learn everything you ever wanted to know about pet trainers. Or so I think. Plus the average price.

Yeah, those are the type of idiots I'd like to use a cattle prod on. ZZZzzzaap!

Hope I could help.

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