This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

At Least There's The Cruise, the Beautiful Water and The Islands

First off, I know how terribly late I am in doing this but I will anyway--
Happy New Year, Everyone!
This past year, as least I believe, has been one of changes and extremes- for this world's population and I.
I could name off the election and inauguration of a black man into the presidency, a recession where corporations gladly took the taxpayer's money and gave themselves outrageous bonuses or the heroics of a pilot, crash landing in the Hudson bay, saving lives by remaining calm and using good judgement in everything he did during the incident. But why bother?
But those big important moments and more I haven't mentioned, which the media has hashed and rehashed for ratings and profit purposes, has already been covered to death.
My own big changes have come by way of me beginning to fight my way out of depression and slowly, yet surely, become healthier. It's been a battle. One that I'm just beginning. You can read more about that in my most recent posts.
What I didn't include was the problems with my dad.
My dad, who suffers from dementia, severe hearing loss, an almost complete lack of tact when around family member or others and a verbally abusive, negative attitude that hasn't helped me get better, unfortunately. I help him whenever possible. Honestly, I do this halfway out of love and halfway from the screwed up guidance of my old friend, guilt. I take him here and there for errands or moving things in and out and around his house or whatever he needs or thinks he needs. Eighty percent of the times we're together, an argument erupts during the 6 to 8 hours I spend with him two to three days of the week.
If the argument is bad enough, I try not to speak to him for close to a week in order to bring some semblance of truce back to our relationship.
My sister takes care of his finances. She is his Power of Attorney. She has had her own drama with Dad. For the moment, he has someone else that cleans his house, do dishes and on. Dad has a special hobby, I should add. He likes to throw everything on the floor. My sister and I clean up the little obstacle courses on the floors, still, and inevitably, it will be the same the next day. He creates a monumental amount of stress with my sister and I and it will only worsen (maybe) when we finally get him settled into the assisted living place.
We'll see. Maybe, and I'm thinking in terms of a normal, non-verbally abusive, semi-cooperative person, he will create or establish decent relationships (I'd settle for no trouble) there with the rest of the residents living under the same roof.
Like the post title says, I least I have a cruise to look forward to that my wife and I are going on this summer. I can't wait. It has been twenty one years since we, just us, really went away somewhere. Unless you count the place a hundred miles above us. We made plans with our travel agent for our flight to Florida, the excursions on the three islands we're visiting and other itinerary. I'm even going to try my hand at snorkeling. I can't wait to experience the clear blue water, the beaches and marine life. Most of all, I cant wait to experience the peace of the being out on the water for seven days, look out at the grandeur at the big moon, the light hitting the water. That's what it's really about. The peace.
Hopefully no one or group will ruin our trip somehow.
I might not come back. Now that would be a fantasy!
Unfortunately, the insanity and chaos others have created for me here, have secured my future here. But I can dream, can't I?
The above picture is one of Orient Bay, in St. Maarten. That is one of the beautiful islands we're going off to port. The more I look at this picture (I have it on the backround of my monitor), the more I wish I were there now.
God, to be in peace.


Me-Me King said...

Happy New Year to you, psycho Kelly. I hope things will turn around for you in 2010.

Kelly said...

Me, too, Me-Me. And I hope all goes decently for you in the new year.

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