Politically Correct Mumbo Jumbo

This was sent to me by email. Thought it humorous enough to make it as a post here. If you're a past reader of this blog, you'll know that I find that all extreme forms of "political correct" behaviour are well deserved targets. Well, gee.... now that I've sucked virtually all the fun out of that... eh... here we go with this forwarded email:


Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America ,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as ‘HILLBILLIES.'
You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .
And furthermore
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a' BREASTED AMERICAN. '
2. She is not 'EASY' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..'
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a
' LOW COST PROVIDER.'
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
' OVERLY CAUCASIAN..'
3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
(Loved this one!)
6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's
'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'
　
　
　We, at Psycho Carnival, meaning I, actually, do condone passing this forward on forever when right until the comet hits us or we kill ourselvelves directly and we all die, not even leaving a goddamned shadow of ourselves as evidence of when we were here or that we were here.*

*This is when you laugh, heartily.

Oh shit, I'm ruining the mood again. I farted.