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Monday, March 1, 2010

Don't You Hate Using Emoticons?

Don't You Hate Emoticons?

I know I do. Most of the time, I feel I have to use emoticons to let people know I'm kidding in a comment, blog post or email just so some Dumbass, with a capital D, won't get their feelings hurt or misinterpret what I said or mean.

It's tedious and ridiculous doing that shit.

Here's a great idea I stole from an email from my not-so-slightly-warped Aunt. They're called Assicons.

:) means smile and
:( is a frown
Sometimes these are represented by

Well, hey gang, how about trying this latest up and coming trend that you're sure to want to get in on.... ASSICONS!

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

They're not only useful, they're amusing. So, why not try Assicons? They're not any more asinine than emoticons.


Dark Slander said...

You post deleter! My beautiful comment all gone! :(

I bet your emotions caused this!!

Kelly said...

Sorry, man. You happen to catch me right in the middle of me correcting my text color and shit. Try again, please.

Kelly said...

LoneWolfRepose: Can you comment back again? I deleted your comment and DarkSlanders at the same goddamn time as I deleted the post. I was trying to correct the mistakes I made on it so I deleted the wholedamn thing, damn it.

lwr said...

I TOTALLY am going to use the "squishy ass" one. I didn't know about a lot of these... I feel so smart now!!

Dark Slander said...

As I was saying before some clown had a malfunction...

Boobs much better than asses:

(. Y .)

Kelly said...

LoneWolfRepose: Thanks for for your comment. I know. I know. The squishy ass one is one of my faves, too. Can't wait to use it on my grandma in the next email.

My brain does a head dive into lostinspacyness and/or total insanity where I do the exact opposite of what I'm thinkin' about. Thats my messed up reasoning of this lastest post deletion. LOL. I hate using that goddamn symbol, too.

Makes me wanna puke up a toyota!!!

Kelly said...

DarkSlander: Good imagination. I can let my little niece check this out, have her look at her good old Uncle Kelly kinda funny and think I'm some old perv (which I might be, sure, but...)but I don't think it's such a great idea since sis happens to be a 7th degree black belt and all I got is this goddamn baseball bat and...

Where was I?

Good input. Yeeeehaaaa!
Seriously, it's funny.

Joyanna said...

Seriously awesome! Totally loving this idea. You are such a (_E=mc2_)!!!

lwr said...

My ass is super: {_!_} right now.

Julio said...

I'm officially switching to assacons. Here's mine: (_@_) pig-ass! (swirrly tail = @) I know, it doesn't really make any sense, but all the good ones were taken (_!_)

Kelly said...

Joyanna: Heh heh... Glad you like it. Now you have to use them! You're under contract now. It's only Assicons for you from now on, girl. Emoticons be gone!

lwr: I would ask why your ass is squishy but I hesitate -for good reason.

Julio: Your pigs ass and swirly tail Assicons are both charming and confusing. I'll bring these up at the next company meeting. Also: Every new member of the Assicons Club gets a free monkey ass to chew on. Lucky you!

Thank you for stopping by, Julio.

Pratik Gupta said...

Oh I am a big time follower of emoticons and your assicons has added a new dimension to it :)

Kelly said...

I'm glad I could help, Pratik.

The Wolf said...

This takes me back to the days of typing boobs on my calculator ahhhh the memories

Kelly said...

Heh. Heh. Yeah, remember doing that on my calculator and thought it was cool and then I found my Dad's old Playboy magazine... ahhhh... memories of my tired ol' hand.

buy viagra said...

Hello yeah sometimes i type and and emoticon come out i hate that i can send wrong msj for this emoticons ,

Kelly said...

I know exactly what you mean. It's an easy mistake.

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