It's all good in the neighborhood.
Seriously, though, I took her to a Red Robin restaurant for her birthday. It just opened. Red Robin restaurants are a national chain across the country that feature huge gourmet burgers on their menus. The hamburgers they have are really good. They also have what they call Bottomless Fries -which means you can have all the steak fries (garlic and Parmesan cheese as optional topping) you can chow down on. Their gourmet burgers have names like Bonzai Burger, Whiskey River Burger and so forth.
My wife was eating a Bonzai Burger this time around. The Bonzai Burger has on it -a third pound beef patty, lettuce, slice of pineapple, teriyaki sauce and cheese. She said it was really good.
But I could tell it was messy as hell, too. I watched her as she ate it. At one point she said, "It's so meaty, I can hardly get my mouth around it." Because of what she said and the sight of the hamburger juices dribbling down her chin while she ate, I developed "Sandwich Envy". I knew she would never say something like that about my penis so I got really mad, stamped my feet and growled, "You never say that about my meat kabobbin!"
Things got quiet, suddenly. Everyone looked at us. I laughed hard. My wife cut off my junk.