This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

EZ Cracker Egg Cracker

EZ Cracker Egg Cracker is a kitchen gadget that's being hawked on TV as something that will make your egg cracking experience easier. No mess is guaranteed by the company that manufactures this item. It's cost is about twenty US dollars -not counting shipping and handling if you order it instead of buying this miracle worker, outright, at a store.

Hey folks, if you don't have the intelligence or dexterity to crack open a freaking egg, well then, I'm afraid it's time for you to pack it in. Your services are no longer required on this planet.

Goodbye and go away, please!

The gene pool has to be cleaned of morons every once in awhile to weed out the weaker links.

If someone is too lazy to crack open a goddamn egg, then I advise that person to walk (Sorry... This means they may have to exert themselves) into a den of hungry lions or tigers. At least then, they will provide sustenance for a group of wild animals that are heading for extinction. At least they will be contributing toward the good of something. I'm sure the big cats will have the determination to get up off their asses to tear huge chunks of fat from an insufferable imbecile's nearly stagnate body and completely devour them -no problem.

If you are disabled to the point of not being able to crack open an egg by hand, then I understand. This might come in handy for you. I don't know. That would depend on how long this kitchen gadget lasts.

The EZ Cracker Egg Cracker, like so many other cheaply made inventions is ridiculous. And it is indicative of how lazy and/or weak-minded people have become, in general. If you or someone you know has bought one of these plastic contraptions, it's almost a certainty it will, in the near future, be collecting dust while sitting in a corner on your kitchen counter (if it hasn't already).


Cupcake said...

I know what I'm getting you on your birthday!!!!

Cupcake said...

Did you find me through 'The Guys'?

Kelly said...

Gosh, I sure hope it's an EZ Egg Cracker thingamajig! It would be a dream come true! :)

The Wolf said...

Are you kidding me whats next an electric ass wiper. Have people become so lazy they can't crack their own eggs. I swear if anyone I know buys one I'm going to go over to their house, apartment, van down by the river or card board shanty under the bridge and punch them in the face.

Kelly said...

I found you 2 different ways. I was looking at the blog catalog directory for something fresh to read and check out that I knew I would be interested in and also... The Guy's Perspective Site earlier and I was curious then. You have a direct sense of humor that I completely get.

Kelly said...

The Wolf: I can understand your anger at idiots buying this sort of shit. And to think, they're breathing our air! Hey, if you happen to find one of these assholes, let me know and I'll join you in a face punching party.

By the way, dude, I'm adding you to my blogroll. Anybody who puts out a great blog and comments on my posts like you -get put on it.

Dark Slander said...

This just shows me that people are moronic enough to buy anything, how this even made it to the infomercial stage is beyond me. This almost ranks higher than the guy who was selling ocean water which may or may not have been in contact with the titanic for 15 bucks a bottle.

I hate people.

Kelly said...

Dark Slander: I totally agree with ya. I didn't know there was an imbecile selling ocean water that MIGHT have been in contact with the Titanic. That doesn't surprise me, though. The idiots who buy shit like that and what I posted about are more retarded than the seller.

I hate people, too. Let's celebrate our hatred of people by cracking each one we see in the head with a baseball bat. Sure, it will be a long and, at times, difficult process, but hey, we can at least give it a shot. :)

lwr said...

I suck at cracking open eggs! This is perfect for me!

klahanie said...

Hey dude,
What next then? An electric banana peeler? Having said that, my friend 'the spoon' might find this device mighty convenient in winning the 'egg and spoon' race:-)
This posting cracked me up but, then again, my brain is already scrambled...
With respect, Gary

Kelly said...

lwr: Well, now I know what to get you for Christmas. Are you sure you don't want a Toyota, instead?

Gary: Electric banana peeler? Don't give them any ideas, man. And don't give your friend, 'the spoon' any ideas about the egg cracker. We don't want to him to get thrown in slammer for egg abuse.

Respecting ya right back,


Anonymous said...

Hey you ass wipe! Some of us disabled people with only one good hand might find this useful!

Much love from Auntie Kay

Kelly said...

Hey, nice to have you back, Auntie Kay. You must be feeling better. And I do thank you for the kind title. I deserve it. *hangs head in shame, then smiles.

Love ya back

Mr. Stupid said...

At first, I wanted to get the Egg Cracker. But reading what you said, I am going to reconsider it... hehe
This sure is crazy. People have become really lazy. I am sure thousands of people will purchase that thing...!

Kelly said...

Mr. Stupid: Yeah, I can almost guarantee that thousands will buy that piece of crapola. A cashier at WalMart said that these little tiny windshield wiper things were hot sellers now. People are out of their minds, man.

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