This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Give This Dog Some Food, Stupid Bastard!

This evil bastard in the video makes his dog so sad, the dog resorts to doing things he never felt possible doing before. This is what happens- after what you see in this video...

RutRo, The Talking Dog, jumps on his owner's bed when he's asleep and takes a big brown, steaming dump directly into his cruel master's mouth. Then the bastard suffocates, dies, loses control of his bowels and then the maid comes in... there's an awkward silence. She cuts a petite fart... Places a finger upon her lips (not her wrinkly pussy lips, mind you) and acts all coy and bashful- until- a car suddenly crashes through the house and the mayhem starts with a bang as the maid's head is cleanly cut off with a flying piece of broken glass.

Our hero dog is shocked, at first, but then he begins to devour chunks of both the old maid and his owner, making the world a better, more awesome place. Except the part where the house collapses and the dog, busy gobbling on a liver, is crushed into peanut butter.

Everyone comes to the scene, wanting to help and all that shit, but that's when the earthquake shakes the ground, opens up a quarter mile gap and believe it or not, takes the whole neighborhood. Of course, this is when God peeks his head through the clouds, shouts, "Dumb Fuckers!" and takes his size 1,583 shoe and smacks all of us about like those damn lady bugs that get in your house when it gets cold outside.

Good weekend to all.


klahanie said...

Greetings human type,
Yes, tis I, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star.
Now, you maybe wondering why I'm replying to your 'pawsting' at almost five in the morning, over here in lil' ol England.
Well, human type friend, the almost human, Gary, who I so kindly allow to live with me, has told me I should check out your thought 'pawvoking', gosh darn fun n'stuff site. I'm really glad I did and I've taken down some notes. Must go now and take a massive, steaming dump in my almost human Gary's mouth. I reckon that will wake him up! Arf! Arf!
Good weekend to you, human.
Pawsitive wishes and doggy kisses, your way and a special juicy fart, Penny xx 'faaaaaaaaart...'

bazza said...

That's a really funny video Kezza!
I think you have an over-active imagination. Perhaps lay off the cheese before bedtime.
Click here for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

Pickleope said...

That dog is way better (and more tortured) than that damn E-Trade baby.
But I'm worried about you. Your imagination goes to...Oh yeah, that is what you do. It's been a while, I have to re-acclimate to your particular brand of madness.

Anonymous said...

Sir Tom Eagerly says:
I say old chap, I think you'll find that if one downs a bottle of Jean Marc XO vodka (distilled nine times and charcoal filtered) then a talking dog seems to be perfectly normal.
Does to me anyway old bean,

Annabelle said...

Oh myyyyy...the things that go on in your head. How I've missed them.

Have a great weekend honey. said...

Taking a dump on his master's corvette, he screams YOU SHOULD HAVE GIVEN ME THE BACON, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Kelly said...

klahanie- Hey Penny, you shouldn't be so modest. We all know the real star of the internet is. Damn it! It's you! You go ahead and take that steaming dump into that Gary dude's mouth. Show him who's boss! And tell him you want some bacon- covered chicken with a side order of big juicy steak and some male dog wang for ya.

And many thanks for the special fart. I'll treasure it for the entire hour it stays in the air. Take care, Penny. :)

Kelly said...

bazza- Yeah, I thought it was dandy, too. When I first saw it, I thought somebody sneakily put acid in my coffee. As for my overactive imagination, I consider myself lucky to have one among those that don't have any. Heh heh.

Time to eat some more cheese. :)

Kelly said...

Pickleope- That E-Trade baby gives me the heebie jeebies, to be honest. I can't laugh at the little fella because I'm too busy being freaked out by the robotic, emotionless infant.

No need to worry about sweet lil' ol' me. I'm doing just fine. Just sitting here, calmly painting smiley faces on some midgets I just kidnapped over the weekend. Normal Saturday night at Psycho Carnival. It's all cool. :)

Kelly said...

Sir Tom, the Most Magnificent Specimen of a Human Being- How's it going? What? You think I should partake of some of that fancy vodka you have a cellar full of at this moment? As for old beans... I had some re-fried beans today at a restaurant. I gotta admit... I've been cutting some juicy ones for the last couple of hours.

Kelly said...

Annabelle- My head has some ricocheting balls of "flubber" hitting the walls in my skull at times. Sometimes, one of those balls escape and puts on a headline show in Las Vegas.

You have a great weekend, too, Annabelle!

Kelly said... Wow! That's right. He did say that. And that's precisely when the Army of Darkness came along and gathered up all the Hostess Cupcakes in a small town in Idaho and decided to wear them on and in their genitals. True story. It was on Fox News.

GEM said...

Hilarious video Kelly but you have a scary imagination :)

Kelly said...

GEM- Thank you... on both counts. :)

LilPixi said...

Cute doggy!

Kelly, your insanity is like a warm, familiar childhood blanket, or maybe even a knit one, woven out of insanely loud, dark, psychedelic clown colors. <3

Kelly said...

LilPixi- Yeah, he is, isn't he? If I were that dog, I would have taken some meat out of that dude's leg.

Gosh, LilPixi, I always thought my insanity was like a nice warm decapitated head on the end of my blood-engorged, rigid wang- but I like your description, too. :)

Much <3 to ya and have yourself the dandiest of nights, LilPixi.

THE SNEE said...

Hi Kelly,
Oh my but that video made me laugh (with shame of course Penny)! And, your imagined sequence of events has left me checking the covers just in case my dogs get any ideas.

I will have to see what Toadie is up to next. So glad you're back to entertain the likes of Snee.

Kelly said...

THE SNEE- Yeah, that was funny. My auntie Kay passed that along to me. She's a big dog fan, too. I like 'em as long as they're not chowing down on my knee cap. My imagination kidnapped me with this one and took me to a quirky, faraway realm. It's certainly good to be back to inform and entertain, Rebecca. Have a great weekend!

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