Stuff Is Messed Up and My Hands Are, Too

Whether you care for the music of The Offspring or not, you'll have to agree with the message of the lyrics of this song- of which I've provided below the humorous video.

In case you're wondering why I've been putting up so many video posts lately and slacking off with posting new stuff, in general... It's because my hands are "messed up"- my fingers, in particular. I've got these little goddamn blisters on my fingertips from something called Dyshidrotic Eczema. It hurts like fuck to type.

Moving on, I went to the doctor today, for my quarterly glucose testing appointment (for my diabetes), where four vials of blood are sucked out of my hand (not my arm, since they can never find a visible vein there). Anyway, while I was there, I showed him/told him all of my recent maladies which included the tumor on my foot, the rash on my belly and legs and the fact I can't get it up anymore unless I stretch the fucker out and use a goddamn skin splint. Tasty pain! Zippity-Yippity. And if you're thinking I actually use a skin splint on my pecker, you're a goddamn idiot.

So many different little side effects from having diabetes and high blood pressure, so little time on Earth to enjoy them all.

Now, bear in mind, I'm trying to explain all of my latest problems while my blood sugar reading is at 61. I tested my blood before going to the doctor today after taking my pill and plunging a syringe full of insulin into my rashy belly. 61. That's a horribly low reading. A blood sugar reading of 61 causes you to be quite fuzzy in the brain to the point where your speech is slurred and you forget shit and stand a good chance of hitting the floor face first. Luckily, the last one didn't happen.

The reason I had a reading of 61 was because I have to fast for 8-12 hours before glucose testing at the doctor's office, besides having to take my 8 different pills and insulin, in order for them to get an accurate reading. I hate having to explain all of this to you lucky non-diabetic fuckers out there but I will... because, of course, I care a lot.

Even though I didn't fall face first during the doctor visit, I did try to squeeze out a fart waiting for the doctor to come in and accidentally squirt some milk-chocolaty looking shit in my underwear. Do I have good times or what? But it didn't end there. After taking off my shoe and sock for the doctor and explaining all the skin crap going on with me, he walks out and comes back in with a little baggie of hard-on pills and several prescriptions for my skin ailments. After that, I go into the bathroom to clean out my undies and an old fat guy walks in.

He shouts, "Oh! Oh! Oh My!"

I say, "What the fuck?"

He leaves promptly. Yes, that's right. I forgot to lock the goddamn, fucking door.

Why? Because I can not think properly with a blood sugar reading of 61, you lucky non-diabetic fuckers!

I say this with much love, respect and shit. Enjoy the video. My fingers are bleeding.

hooray

all rights to offspring

lyrics:
Now, I don't know and its hard to explain, but it seems like things are just kind of insane because the world is crying but nobodys listening so please leave a message on my cell phone

I see bullets getting better Biblical weather
And the guy on T.V. is like a total asshole
What are you wearing tonight?
Celebrity fundraiser tight Blackties making wrongs right How's your social bandaid?

I don't know much
I don't know too much
But I know this
Shit is fucked up
La, La, La La, La
I guess it's all about the dream
La, La, La La, La
The ends justify the means
La, La, La La, La La La
I'm telling you
Shit is fucked up

La, La, La La, La
You know it's all about the dream
La, La, La La, La
The ends justify the means
La, La, La La, La La La

Now thank God for the media
For saving the day
Puting it all into perspective in a responsible way
With more celebrity news Typical bullshit views
I think we're losing this fight sponsored by Bud Light

Now we're rockin' the casbah
And taking the flack
The genie's out of the bottle
And we can't put him back (put him back)
All this stuff
It's overwhelming my brain
Can't you see the storm coming
It's coming this way

And I don't know much
I don't know too much
But I know this
Shit is fucked up

La, La, La La, La
I guess it's all about the dream
La, La, La La, La
The ends justify the means
La, La, La La, La La La
I'm telling you
Shit is fucked up

La, La, La La, La
You know it's all about the dream
La, La, La La, La
The ends justify the means
La, La, La La, La La La Justify the means

Shopping Sprees, RPG's
Ecstasy
Atrophy
Genocide
Pimp my ride
Politize
Euphemize
Injustice everywhere
Apathy
I don't care
Hurricanes
Climate change
Huh!

Therapy, I won't tell
Rehab and LOL
Worldwide calamity
TV Reality
Euthanize, supersize
Death squads and boob jobs
VIP infamy
Gratify instantly

I dont know much
I dont know too much
I dont know much
I dont know too much

La, La, La La, La
I guess its all about the dream
La, La, La La, La
The ends justify the means
La, La, La La, La La La
I'm telling you
Shit is fucked up

La, La, La La, La
You know it's all about the dream
La, La, La La, La
The ends justify the means
La, La, La La, La La La
The means, the means