This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Let's Ride Roller Coasters!

Summer time brings back fond memories for me of when my buddies and I would have a blast at the nearest amusement park. Back then, we didn't mind standing in those long, snaky lines on extremely hot, humid days to go on rides that would last a couple minutes. Part of the fun, after all, was the anticipation and talking about how hot the girl looked two aisles to your left. Or something like that. Heh heh.

When my wild gang of friends and I (back when we weren't afraid of anything) would go to the amusement park, we would always hit the scariest, most sick-inducing rides first, then cool off with the water rides later. Oh, the joys of being young and having a strong constitution! Back then, The Beast, at King's Island, was one of our favorites. It was the fastest (65 mph), longest wooden roller coaster at the time. It opened in April 1979.

Since then, roller coasters have improved with higher gravitational forces and even more complex designs.

I thought it would be fun to show you a video of what riding The Beast is like, first person point of view. The second clip is of a steel roller coaster named Bizarro. If I went on either one of these coasters, presently, I would likely:

A) Have a heart attack
B) Shit my fucking pants
C) Piss myself
D) And Vomit

All of which would happen, simultaneously.

Enjoy the rides!

The Beast


Please feel free to empty the contents of your stomach at the nearest exit or on the back of the head of the teenager sitting in front of you.


Gucci Mama said...

I LOVE roller coasters! This makes me want to go to Six Flags!

The Wolf said...

I've never been on one of those older wooden ones before, that second one looks like fun though.

Kelly said...

Yeah, I'm with ya, there, Gucci. I love them them, too, and have always wanted to go to the Six Flags in Ohio to check them out, too. You know, I bet I could "stomach" riding 'em again with the help of a Valium or 2. :)

Kelly said...

The Wolf- The great thing about the wooden coasters (and they're making them still... even these days) is that they shake, rattle and roll ya more and give you more of that out of control feeling than the more steady, but no less exciting, steel coasters.

And yeah, Bizarro does look like a hell of a good time. Like I said to GM, I should probably pop a Valium before I get on, though.

It's weird. Only recently have I had trouble with rides. Guess it comes with age. But I still love them.

klahanie said...

Hi Kelly,
Thanks for reminding me of the vomit-inducing days of my youth on the wooden roller coaster at the PNE in Vancouver, it was, at one time, the second largest wooden roller coaster in North America, second only to the one at Coney Island. I reckon Wolf would know about the one at the PNE (Pacific National Exhibition.
We live near the biggest theme park in Britain, and Europe, for that matter, called Alton Towers. My son has been on most of the rides.
He quite likes one called 'Oblivion'.
In the spirit of watching those videos; I am now going to puke all over my son who is asleep in his room. Should be great fun.

Kelly said...

klahanie- Glad to be of service in regards to helping to remind you of your "splattering-your-lunch-upon-the-pavement" days. Do you remember the name of that wooden coaster in Vancouver? Is it still around? I'm asking because I want to check it out on You Tube, if You Tube has a video on it.

I've heard of Alton Towers quite a few times. In fact, another blog pal of mine, Qelqoth, (also from Britain) went there not long ago and said he had a great time on their rides. No mention of any after-ride-retching, though. :-)

The Oblivion coaster looked pretty exciting on You Tube... checked it out.

I'm sure you'll have a blast with blasting your poor, unsuspecting son with vomit. Great fun, indeed. Reminds me of some of the pranks my friends did to each other in their college days. lol. Nice to know ya got some evil in ya, Gary. heeho.

But you'll never be as evil as me.*

*I say, before cackling evilly.

Lana Gramlich said...

I virtually grew up at Six Flags Great Adventure (even before it was a Six Flags--back before commercial ads were on EVERYTHING.) Unfortunately these days I can't even watch these videos, with the vertigo problems I have. <:(

klahanie said...

Hi Kelly,
I'm not quite sure of the name. It is sometimes called the 'Playland' roller coaster or the 'Big Dipper' (no innuendoes).
It was still being used when I was over in 2008. This link my give you a bit of an idea.

Alton Towers has some awesome rides. So, I've been told.
Take it easy and go clean your pants lol

Kelly said...

Lana Gramlich- I know what you mean about theme parks being "over-commercialized". King's Island became that way when it was bought by Paramount Studios. Since then, almost every new ride they've built has been themed around a movie made by Paramount. It sucked big time. Ads everywhere, too... like you were saying.

Too bad you can't even watch the videos, Lana. But I understand about the vertigo problems. My Dad has that really bad and has to walk with a cane to be steady.

Kelly said...

klahanie- Hi Gary, I checked out the video of that 'Big Dipper' coaster. Lots of ups and downs on that one. Woohoo. My stomach might do a couple flip-flops on it but I could likely survive it without the help of a Valium. Your coaster reminded me of riding the Screamin' Demon at King's Island. Someone on the You Tube comment board said your wooden coaster was 52 years old. Wow. I wonder how many repairs have been done on it to keep it running for this long.

Well, I just cut a messy fart. Gotta go clean out my Superman tights. Chow!

Mr. Stupid said...

I would love to go on The Beast sometime. I have never been on those Wooden Roller Coasters. I guess Speed and the noise the cart makes while moving adds to the thrill.
I remember creating the worst rides ever in a game called Roller Coaster Tycoon. Some of them managed to stay underground for over ten minutes... hehe

Kelly said...

Mr. Stupid- Ah, those wooden coasters are great fun. They really add to that out-of-control feeling when you're riding just because of how they're made. A very jarring experience. You definitely want to put anything loose on you in a secure place.

I know what you mean about the Roller Coaster Tycoon games. Sounds you did mean things to your passengers like I did to mine. I loved creating coasters and rides for that game! It's very addictive.

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