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Friday, April 9, 2010

Beijing Heat Therapy

Recently, I read about a quirky new trend in physical therapy that is being administered in Beijing, China. It's a heat therapy treatment that involves wrapping patients in oil soaked blankets and setting fire to them.

Hey, what could go wrong with that?

Han Li, who runs a clinic in Beijing that offers this treatment, says, "It looks pretty dangerous but it's harmless when done properly and we've never had a patient burnt yet."

Patients who have come from this without being cooked to "medium well" to "extra crispy" have said that the therapy produces total relaxation despite having flames just centimeters from their bare skin. One patient described the feeling of having it done by explaining, "It produces a type of heat that goes right inside you and leaves you completely relaxed. I have the treatment three times a week and return to work relaxed and rested."

Han Li also offers acupuncture with flaming needles and cupping, where heated cups are sealed to the patient's skin.

For a few Chinese banknotes more, you can now have a treatment that involves a metal spoon being held over an open fire until it glows bright red and then have it applied directly onto your ass cheek, eyeball or ballsack. You may have to sign a waiver for this therapy, however.

I'm kidding about that last treatment. As far as I know, no one is doing it... yet. But give it time.

Although the idea of being wrapped in swaddling, oil soaked blankets on fire sounds like a hot time in the ol' town tonight, I will have to pass. I'm not into being on fire, whatever the method used and recommended.

I would much rather try the old fashioned Chinese pain therapy of basic acupuncture -with no flames- thank you. I could handle that, with ease, I believe, since I stick myself with insulin needles and check my blood sugar, using needles twice a day. Because of this, acupuncture for me would likely be a walk in the proverbial park.

What do you think -about any of this?


The Wolf said...

Oil soaked blankets that are set on fire, yeah that sounds very peaceful. Just about as peaceful as shoving a glass rod up ye old pork sword and smashing it with a hammer. All good times I say :)

klahanie said...

I was started to warm to the idea of being wrapped in oil soaked blankets and then being set fire. Then, I thought, if done wrong, it could cause some heated arguments.
I'll give that a miss thanks. If the person doing said procedure gets it wrong; can you fire them?
Have a nice weekend, Kelly.

Me-Me King said...

Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire! And I thought the placing of hot rocks on a person's body was quirky! I'll pass.

Dark Slander said...

Sounds pretty cool to me, I hardly think it does any benefit though. But I'm just one of those folks that aren't into placebo effects and prefer actual peer reviewed medical science.

Still though, anything with fire must be given a couple cool points.

The Wolf said...

What ever happened to the good ole fashioned asian massage with the "happy ending" I always felt relaxed after those, I say why change something if it isin't broken

Crazy Brunette said...

Are you shitting me right now?


God people are sooooo fucking stupid!

Let me know how the red hot spoon to the ball sack goes!

Mr. Stupid said...

Hi Kelly. And hello Mr. Han Li. Maybe the setting on fire treatment ends when the patients realize they are on fire and yell. Mr. Li then comes to the rescue by putting a bucket of water on them.
Maybe, he should introduce "Flaming acupuncture". Poking you with needles on fire!

Kelly said...

The Wolf- That glass rod being shoved up ye pork sword and so on sounds like a fine ol' time to me, but then, I masturbate with Lava soap.

Just in case you don't fuckin' know what Lava soap is, it's that soap that has volcano stuff (pumice) in it. So there ya go. And now... your life is complete.

You felt relaxed after your "happy ending"? Not me. I went on a killing spree after mine. :-)

Kelly said...

klahanie- Ha ha ha. Yeah, I think you could "fire" them. Or, at least, "flame" them. Your way with words is frying my brain, man. Take care, Gary.

Me-Me- When we go on our cruise, we're going to get some massages done on us. No "happy endings", of course, but I'm looking forward to it. And definitely, no hot rocks.

DarkSlander: It doesn't sound very beneficial to me, either. Physically or mentally. I would be so afraid of being burned up alive to have any moments of relaxation happening. Now setting someone afire who deserved it... That might relax me a bit.

Kelly said...

Crazy Brunette- People are fucking stupid. Damn straight. This type of heat therapy sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen. Too risky. By the way, the red hot spoon to the ball sack kinda tickles... until your flesh starts to char and falls off "the bone", so to speak.

Mr Stupid- I would hope when that happens, Mr Li will throw a bucket of acid on the customer to put out the fires.

I'm afraid I will have to pass on the flaming needles. Thanks. Sounds like a sizzling good time for you, though. :-) Ha ha.

Take care, friend.

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