This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Crazy True News and Crazy True Laws

The government of China executed twelve male and six female factory managers by firing squad at a refrigerator plant just outside Beijing in 1989 because the poor quality of their products constituted "unpardonable crimes against the people of China." Customers had complained for years about having to wait for refrigerators that were usually unusable when delivered.

Darrel Brown, 53, was convicted of defrauding the Veterans Administration of more than $700,000 by feigning paralysis for more than twenty years. He had been faithfully reporting to VA facilities during that time in a wheelchair after having bound his arms and legs tightly for days before visits so they would temporarily atrophy.

Farmers in an eastern Indian state have asked their unmarried daughters to plow parched fields naked in a bid to embarrass the weather gods to bring some badly needed monsoon rain, reported officials.

A Mississippi judge ordered an attorney to spend several hours in jail Wednesday after the attorney chose not to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in court. The Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal reported that Chancery Judge Talmadge Littlejohn told a court audience to rise and say the pledge. People in the courtroom said Danny Lampley of Oxford stood but did not say the words.

A horrified 8-year-old boy watched as his pet turtle disappeared into an alligator's jaws at an aquarium in the Florida Panhandle. Colton Guthrie had donated his pet red-eared slider, Tomalina, to the Gulfarium in Fort Walton Beach when the turtle outgrew her home aquarium. Colton's mother told the Northwest Florida Daily News Tuesday that the family saw workers place Tomalina in an exhibit Thursday with other red-eared sliders and an alligator.

Although the alligator had long ignored the other turtles, Brenda Guthrie said the gator ate Tomalina as Colton shouted, "Oh no, alligator, let it go!"

10 Crazy U.S. Laws

In Bozeman, Montana, a law prohibits all sexual activity from the front yard of a home after sundown.

In Salt Lake County, Utah, it’s illegal to walk down the street carrying a violin in a paper bag.

In San Francisco, it’s illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.

Devon, Texas, it is against the law to make furniture while you are nude.

In Oklahoma, you can be arrested for making ugly faces at a dog.

In California, it is illegal for a vehicle without a driver to exceed 60 miles per hour.

In Florida, men seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown can be fined.

In South Carolina, it is legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.

In Tennessee, you are breaking the law if you drive while sleeping…

In Pennsylvania, it’s against the law to tie a dollar bill on a string on the ground and pull it away when someone tries to pick it up.


Gorilla Bananas said...

How do we know they're crazy laws without the historical background? The Mormons might have been using violins as sex toys, and the Texans might have been humping their furniture. I've seen a film where a man in a chimp mask rapes his furniture.

MartyrMom said...

GB you ARE funny!
Hey Kelly! the law in florida certainly isn't inforced...we have all sorts of dudes walking around in
strapless gowns......especially in Key West!

The Wolf said...

That's good to know that I can beat any future wife I have anywhere in South Carolina except on the courthouse steps on Sunday, I have to appear civilized after all.

I also don't have any strapless gowns so I think I'm safe if I ever take a trip to Florida.

bazza said...

Illegal to make furniture in the nude you say?
Funnily enough that sounds sensible to me Kelly! I can imagine some rather nasty accidents when a chisel slips. Ouch.
In England there is still a law on the statute books that says taxis must carry a bale of straw at all times.
Enjoy your weekend!

klahanie said...

Hey Kelly,
There are some crazy laws out there.
Did you know that I am not allowed to comment on a blog when wild foxes are masturbating in my garden? If I do have the audacity to comment, I can be forced to sit naked in the town square while really only ladies hit me with their crunchy panties.
Right the masturbating wild foxes have left my garden...then again, the thought of crunchy panties....

Sir Tom Eagerly said...

Kelly, there are more crazy out-dated laws in the world than you could shake stick at.
Can you believe I am not even allowed to sit behind the wheel of my Rolls-Royce while totally inebriated!
That young policemen was acting way beyond what was necessary but the judge took my side and it cost me a £1,000 donation to his charity. Smashing!

Gucci Mama said...

I'm from Bozeman! There are some whacky laws there, for sure. There are some VERY whacky police reports too. You should google it. You might find the one where my mother in law called the police to report a rancid can of beans in her pantry that she thought was likely the work of terrorists. I shit you not.

Kelly said...

MartyrMom- So there's a lot of guys dressed in morning drag in that area, eh?

I don't really think anybody wants to see dudes in gowns, there, do they? Do they complete the look with bunny slippers, as well? Gee whizzers.

Kelly said...

The Wolf- Don't know if it's true or not but in South Carolina, you are required to fuck your 1st cousin during church service every other Sunday. Banjo playing during the semi-annual HorseCock Fellatio Festival is required or you could be arrested for not participating.

Kelly said...

Gorilla Bananas- We know they are crazy laws because that's what the Pope says. And as you know, that Mr. Pointy Caps is never wrong. I once read the book on the correct method of furniture raping. It taught you how you can also use your fresh man goo as furniture polish to give granny's old coffee table that brilliant shine. And I want the name of that film you're talking about. It's not from a "Planet of The Apes" movie, is it? I don't remember Roddy McDowall fucking a chair in any of those flicks.

Kelly said...

bazza- I know, bazza, ol' chum... Chopping away at wood while naked like that makes perfect sense to me... Until you chop off your own wood. Your 'taxis and straw' law is fucked up but I've read of more ridiculous ones. I'm sure half of the strange laws in the world are outdated and must have served some purpose in earlier times but some just defy complete logic.

Kelly said...

klahanie- Please don't tell me you are not allowed to comment as foxes pleasure themselves in your garden. That makes me sad. Who created such an unfair law? That should be against the law or something.

Are the panties crunchy because some ladies were on the rag and their blood clots and other nasty vaginal secretions dried out and, as a result, made the panties somewhat crunchy?

Really. I must know.

Kelly said...

Sir Tom Eagerly- Is there ever a time when you're not looped and behind the wheel? Honestly, Sir Tom... Your wild exploits have been printed in all the major papers and you've become legendary on the net. Is there anything you are not capable of doing?

Kelly said...

Gucci Mama- You're from Bozeman. Ahh... That explains everything. What- I really don't fuckin' know but I thought I just say that. Your mother-in-law sounds like quite the trip. Maybe someone should send her a bag of frozen brussel sprouts. Maybe she'll freak out and think that they're a bag of hand grenades. Hee hee.

Gucci Mama said...

She totally would! She also called the police once because she thought evil democrat rhodesian razor back wolf pigs (say it with me - what. the. fuck.) were living under her porch and wreaking all sorts of havoc.

I don't let her babysit. Ahem.

Kelly said...

Gucci Mama- Wow. She's a loon. I mean everyone knows that rhodesian razor back wolf pigs belong primarily to the Independent Party.

Maybe not suitable for babysitting but she could be quite entertaining at parties, provided she is equipped with the right explosives and flammable liquids. woo hoo.

Gorilla Bananas said...

It was a Brazilian version of the Dracula story. The lunatic Renfield rapes his furniture before Dracula kills him. I don't know why he was wearing a chimp mask - it could have been an avant-garde artistic thing.

Kelly said...

Gorilla Bananas- Ah, yes. Those Brazilians and their avant-garde artistic movies... So much like our subtle, inventive American movies like the highly acclaimed "Scary Movie" franchise, "Dumb and Dumberer" and more that most aren't even worthy of taking a big heaping dump upon.

It doesn't surprise that Dracula decided to terminate Renfield for defiling his leather recliner. I had to kill my cross-eyed retarded cousin when I found him doing the same thing to my rocking chair one afternoon. Damn, stupid fucker, he was.

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