This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

No One's Virginity Is Worth That

Maybe you 've heard this story. The media and the uptights were whipping themselves into a frenzy with this a couple days ago. For myself, I considered it a bit of comedy. It's mighty fucked up, to be sure.

Natalie Dylan, a 22-year-old, is selling her virginity online. The top bid is $3.7 million, at the moment. So if ya got wads of cash to throw or shoot on Natalie's magical, virginal whoopity doo and your IQ is beneath that of a turd, go for it. Ebay had her auction removed from their site. She has advertised on the website of The Moonlite BunnyRanch, a licensed brothel, saying:

"Natalie Dylan is a college girl from Sacramento CA.. Not only does she have a degree in Women's Studies, she is looking to raise money to continue her education and get her master's degree in Psychology so she can practice Family Psychology. She comes to us here at the bunny ranch with a very special gift, Natalie is a virgin and would like to sell this priceless and rare commodity in a very exclusive and private setting."

First of all, she ain't that great looking to me.

And even if I had that kind of money, I wouldn't blow it by doing the ol' "pump-n-dump" with her or anybody else , that includes celebrities and 22 year old college girls. Not that I personally have anything against prostitution, of which I think her auction is a form. Anyone who would pay her should be considered a moronic john or "customer", if you will. Of course, it's being done in the part of Nevada where it's legal.

It's her life.... but, I think any future employer may consider her auction to be a blemish on her record. Wonder if her and her lucky customer are going to trade sexual history records to check out if either has any STD's? Not that I care. Maybe he or she will surprise the other by turning into a maniacal, evil freak in the middle of the Big DeVirginization.

That might be scary. Again, if it happens, I promise not to care. Just remember, Natalie and/or Whoever, ye have sowed what ye have reaped. Is that the way it goes? Hell, I can't remember. If it turns out to be a dissapointment, well...


jaredpage said...

3.7 million is a little much. They should just buy a plane ticket to Sydney. You pretty much have to push your way through the prostitutes to walk around King's Cross at night. The going rate is 280.00 an hour. <-- Seriously. And that's for the legitimate ones who have rooms setup for it, and a couple burly men downstairs just in case someone causes any problems.

I guess you're not getting virgins, but I'm sure if you tipped you could get someone to pretend. Or three someones, or whatever. Probably would have more fun with someone more experienced anyway, virginity is highly overrated.

How's it going? The layout is badass.

Anonymous said...

She looks a bit like Ashley Simpson to me, and I wouldn't pay 3.7 CENTS to sleep with either one of them --- not that I WOULD cuz I'm not that way (If you know what I mean...)

Kelly said...

Jared: Good to hear from you. It's been awhile. How's it going? Not so great, nowadays. My diabetes has worsened to the point where I have to go on insulin. 15 years, I've eluded the dreaded needles to my body but now it's all caught up with me. I'm depressed with that and other things. The bright spot has been the redesign of Psycho. And you would be correct, sir, the layout is badass.

But getting back to the subject of Natalie, the girl with the "priceless" hymen: 3.7 million offered for an intact coochie is a dandy example of insanity. Also, I had no idea that prostitution was that rampant in Sydney.

Don't be a stranger.

Kelly said...

Breath of Insanity: I'm in full agreement with you. And she does look like A.Simpson. When I went to your site yesterday, I noticed you have me on your blogroll. I'll return the favor.

Take care

Sy said...

Lets be honest. It's her first time. She is gonna be CRAP! You would have more enjoyment having sex with an anorexic squirrel.

PS - Nice cleanup of the site dude!

Me-Me King said...

Ok, for the record, I call bullshit!

Kelly said...

Sy: As someone who enjoys having copulation with skinny rodents with long fluffy tails, I shall be forced to agree with you.

And thank you for the kind words.

Kelly said...

Me-Me: You mean she doesn't have a "rare commodity" between her legs?

Me-Me King said...

I mean she's not a virgin - c'mon!

Kelly said...

I agree. I'm bettin' she got her cherry taken for free, awhile ago.

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