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Friday, January 9, 2009

Candles

I like candles, as long as they don't burn my place down. Have you ever forgotten to blow out your candle before leaving the house or going to bed? Then you wake up or return home to find your candle jar is holding a lake's worth of wax and there is just a teensy, lil' flame weakly flickering on your drowning wick. Don't you feel like a complete dumbass?

No?

Well, you should, damn it.

My cat drank all the liquified wax out of my candle jar a couple months ago and when he pissed and crapped, it smelled like Dreamy Vanilla Cream.

Gosh, that litter pan smelled wonderful, for a change.

Well, enough yakin'. Watch this video clip and learn something important, damn it!

7 comments:

rusty said...

That is hot! Mandles is the bizzomb!

Majase Cyc said...

And here I have been wiping my ass with candles all these years to get that Special Hot-Sauce Majase Cyc scent!

Fuck! Screwed out of another valuable patent.

Kelly said...

@rusty: Damn right, it's the bizzomb. My favorite Mandle is Crusty Menstrual Delight. The meaty lil' chunks at the bottom pop open with an enticing aroma once the flame burns down that low.

@Majase: Do you wipe your ass when the candle is lit? If so, that's super awesome!

Me-Me King said...

Mmmmmm, nothing says Mandles like "A-1 Steak Sauce"; combine this scent with "Grillin' Out" and "Meat" and you'll have the ultimate Mandles' auroma experience.

Sorry about your cat. :(

Silly Swedish Skier Says So said...

I can't believe your cat didn't get sick! Mine pukes just to make a point about how long I've been gone.

I did not see "Octane." Smells like POWER!

Alas, my house already smells like campfire from our fireplace. That and I got my husband a banjo and a growing ninja recently. I think he's all set.

Kelly said...

@Me-Me: You should try to get a job with the Mandles company and let them in on your smelltastic ideas. Don't worry about the cat. I flushed him out with draino. oooops.

Just kiddin'.

Kelly said...

@ Silly Swedish Skier: Eh, I might have made that part up about the wax drinking. Everything else was real. My cat does, however, enjoy honey roasted peanuts. Found that out last night. Fortunately, my cat (Victor) did not puke them back up. Yeah, I saw that pic of the ninja and banjo on your site. That's cool.

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