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Thursday, December 15, 2011

Adventures While Camping at The Gorge (Part Three)

For PART ONE and PART TWO of this series, click the links.

As I've mentioned before, there are some rough trails at Red River Gorge. No doubt about it. Take this photo, for instance. It shows a typical example of what a challenging trail would be like.

See the tree roots halfway embedded in the ground? Those are great fun to trip over when you're exhausted or half drunk or both.

We ate pretty good during our camping trip at The Gorge. Steve cooked most of the food while I watched him do it. He was my cook bitch. But don't tell him I said that. On this night we had grilled deer steak. And no, those aren't maggots on the meat in the picture below. They're some kind of spice/seeds that I can't think of the name of, at the moment. My friend wanted to use this on the meat to tame a little of the gamey flavor that deer tends to have.

It didn't matter to me. I can eat venison in any shape or form, with spices or without. I'm a true carnivore, damn it! If I'm hungry enough, I'll eat the balls off a bison as he's taking a leak. Wait! Not while he's pissing! I'll wait til he's fast asleep and then I'll chow down on his gamey jewels. He shouldn't wake up. Nah!

Speaking of balls, have you ever tried Rocky Mountain Oysters? Yum is the word.

We would take a breather, every so often along the trails and rest our poor saggy old asses on the natural rock formations, enjoying the inviting beauty and calm of Mother Nature. I really needed to go on this camping trip last September. I was going through some emotional calamity involving my father or wife during this time (I forget what it was, exactly) and this experience helped to bring peace and perspective to my life. It was terrific therapy for yours truly. Plus, it was crazy fun.

During the course of our adventures at The Gorge, we imbibed in adult beverages. Hard to believe, eh? In the following picture, you'll see that I am exploring my creative side by producing a talk show I put together with stuff I found on the forest ground. Enjoy, won't you?

Further exploring both our creative sides, we go to the amphitheater to put on short skits and musicals for one another while completely fucked up. I have videos of our creative masterpieces and I must say... they're really quite embarrassing- even by my standards. Luckily, no one was around and the amphitheater is pretty well hidden in the forest.

All in all, we had a fun, relaxing and invigorating time at The Gorge. If you really ever want to truly get away from the noise of the city or craziness in your life, I would suggest going here or a rustic and primitive locale similar to this. It's like a gift for your mind and spirit and it does wonders for your emotional well being. I know it does for me.

And now our journey ends. I hope you enjoyed the jaunty tour and I hope you're able to get away from it all, someday and experience the wonders of nature in all of it's uplifting glory.

Later, dudes and dudettes.


Maxwell said...

I really want to go to Testicle Festival some time. That would be awesome. Very few people are even remotely interested in Rocky Mountain Oysters...

Anonymous said...

Hot from the desk of Sir Tom Eagerly:
A theatre in the forest, eh? That
reminds me of the time Lady Eagerly dragged me to a performance of Romeo & Juliet in the open-air theatre in Regent's Park, London. Men in tights don't do it for me old bean.
I do like the odd brush with nature now and again. Took a walk through the grounds of Eagerly Manor once. What fun!
Toodle pip!

Pickleope said...

I felt the relaxation...right up to the point where you wanted to be tea-bagged by a pissing bison. Somehow the serenity was gone but the laughter made up for it. I loved the leaf/acorn talk show.

bazza said...

Hi Kezza! Do you mind if I pass on the Rocky Mountain Oysters? I feel a bit queasy now.
Looks like you had a great time in The Gorge.
Click here for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

Kelly said...

Maxwell- You should go to the Testicle Festival and try the squirrel nuts. They let you pick up the live squirrel and rip his nuts off with your teeth. Boy howdy! You should see the look at the little fella's face when you eat his nuts in front of him. It'll make you giggle.

Kelly said...

Sir Tom Eagerly- Yeah, they have an amphitheater in the forest. I thought it was odd, at first, when I saw it years ago but it makes sense. Rangers will go there and give lectures on wildlife for people. sometimes, bluegrass band will perform there, too. They have a whole schedule of things they do there to inform the public about the natural habitats for wildlife, the flora in the area and so on.

And then a couple of bastards like us desecrate it for our own sordid amusement. :) Oh, the absolute guilt I feel. lol.

You took a walk once? Amazing! Give my love to the little woman.

Kelly said...

Pickleope- Heck... Doesn't everyone want to be tea-bagged by a bisonn now and then? I think it should be a family Christmas tradition, don't you? Fuck kissing under the mistletoe? I don't wanna kiss any diseased hookers on the mouth. Give me bison balls any day!

Kelly said...

bazza- No. You MUST EAT BULL BALLS. I demand it. :)

Yeah, we had a great time down there at The Gorge. (from what I recall)

Static said...

Hey, Kelly, I finally had some free time and dropped by. It sounds like you had fun on your trip. Kentucky is beautiful country for sure. In all the time I lived near the area I never made it to Daniel Boone National Park. Will put it on the to-do list.

When my wife and I lived in Illinois we would drive around our favorite places around Southern Illinois like Desoto, Murphysboro, Marion, and Carbondale where she went to school and we eventually lived for a little while. There's some really cool places around there too, with lots of history, plenty of outdoorsy stuff to do. When I felt like going hiking or doing some solo adventuring, I'd just get in the truck and drive down there and go to Giant City where I found an old abandoned Civil War-style plantation that still had a standing house with the walk around porch and pillars. Kind of creepy exploring it, but very cool at the same time. Sometimes I'd head down to Paducah and make my way down to Land Between the Lakes.

Then I also enjoyed Shawnee National Forest where there are acres and acres of forest to roam around in. And there were rarely any people on most of the trails there, so it was a perfect place to get away from it all and commune with nature. I really miss that area for that alone.

p.s. I think that deer steak is sprinkled with cumin seeds. Cumin is a very flavorful seasoning for red meat, poultry, and game. Must have been good. Another way to make the meat less gamy is to soak it in salt water and a little white vinegar for 24 hrs. Change the water a few times every 8 hrs. until the water is no longer red from all the blood (which is where the gamy flavor comes from). And if you have the time - make a rub with sea salt, black pepper, ground cumin, ground coriander, and garlic powder - really rub it into the meat and let it marinate another 12-24 hrs. You will not be disappointed. Making me hungry just thinking about it. And Rocky Mountain Oysters aren't too bad either..they're just a little bit nutty. :)

Kelly said...

Static- Always a pleasure when you drop by, dude. Yeah, you should go there sometime. Hike the Half Moon Arch trail and Princess Arch trail whenever you do go. Both of those trails have some really spectacular viewpoints. Chimney top rock and Sky Bridge are must sees, too. I like walking across all the the natural sandstone bridges. The first time I went down there (I was 18- long time ago :) and we ran into some locals, off the beaten track, that looked like they were extras from the movie, "Deliverance". We were nice to them, of course. And not just because they were carrying shotguns. They offered us some of their moonshine and we figured we better drink it with them. We didn't want to take a chance of insulting them.

It sounds like you've had your share of adventures, as well. I love doing the outdoorsy stuff, like you. I would feel creeped out, too, visiting a civil war plantation with some of the original buildings on it. that reminds me of the trip to Virginia. I've been to Illinois but I only remember passing through the towns of Desoto and Murphysboro on the way out west- where we eventually ended up, after visiting the Dakotas, Wyoming and then back to the mid-west in a big circle. Shawnee National forest sounds like a good place to do some hiking. My friend and I like hiking those types of rarely roamed trails. Too bad my wife doesn't care for hiking. Ah well. And yes, that deer was sprinkled with cumin seeds. I asked my friend, Steve, about that the other night. I'll have to jot that down- about the other way of doing it for Steve. He likes deer but not the gaminess of it. I don't mind it, personally. Hey, thanks for commenting. Take care.

Static said...

Yeah, probably not a good idea to insult the locals.

Hey it was my pleasure. I hope your friend Steve enjoys the tip for his deer steaks. :)

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