This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Mr. Checkers Cranks HIS TALE

Along came the willow spider, black as coal, waiting to catch it's prey. Then along came the chirping ape. He giveth thee. Then came Joshua the human thing. He praises the name of Zolath, the great one with frosted beard. Then he took his family by the hand and went into the woods and ate bear.

and best of all


A treaty was set and the leopard ran. Others became suspicious and stroked themselves, furiously. Some mistaken a pencil for a pen. Some enjoyed catapulting fidgeting midgets over the iron gate for sport. Coincidence?

"Cast a harsh light on thy Esmerelda tree, will you?", said Joshua.

That's when the trumpets sounded and you could smell the joy in the air. Willy thought it to be a pussy fart.

The family set their sights on Eye Paddles and this time they meant business. Would there be toilet accessories or cat food? The answer lie in a single can of easy cheese.

tricksters all

The trees sing orange dreams and tease with pillow fighting. Suddenly, there was peace in the land again.

Joshua drove and pondered the meaning of the cheese, family in tow.


Gorilla Bananas said...

I've been secretly hoping for weeks that Eye Paddles would make a return. I don't like the way the family dissed him by thinking about cheese. I wish he'd tied them up and force fed them bear shit.

Sir Tom Eagerly said...

I can't keep up with your output, old thing.
Do slow down, there's a good chap!
By the way, this post completely defeats me, right over my head and I'm sober. Almost.

klahanie said...

Hello Kelly,
I too, cannot keep up with your prolific posting.
I cannot believe I'm agreeing with good old Sir Tom:-)
I think I need to be stoned to read this one. Not like I would get stoned, or anything like that.
Still, and I thank Gorilla Bananas, for this. Eye Paddles should become all the rage. 'Eye'm outta' here...
Take care,Gary :-)

Kelly said...

Gorilla Bananas- Aye lad, that ol' rascal, Eye Paddles has returned. Little does Joshua's family know, but Eye Paddles holds the key to cheese. In the next episode, Eye Paddles ties Joshua up for a bit of tea bagging hilarity.

Kelly said...

Sir Tom Eagerly- The speed at which I move is quicker than the wheel can travel. I fear if I put on the brake, the tire will explode.


Kelly said...

klahanie- Gary, this too shall pass. For in the eyes of the Whirly Bird, thy herbs are blessed and thy pudding must be eaten. Eye Paddles wishes you good evening and good health.

klahanie said...

Dude, I'm still awake. Just thought I should mention to you that you will confuse Sir Tom, even more.
'Tire' in the context you useth it, is spelt 'tyre' in the English language he doth knoweth.
Fare thee well, kind sir...fare the well...

Kelly said...

klahanie- Well, we wouldn't want sir Tom to be any more confused than he already is-- so from now on, I will talk more s-l-o-w-l-y.

Tire, tyre pants on fire
And the squirrel gets wet in the rain

Farewell thee you, you well of fare.

MartyrMom said...

your so uncouth with your verb-age of pussy farts.the politically correct name for it is quif..that's the delicate way of saying it.

Kelly said...

MarytrMom- Actually, it is spelled "queef". But you're correct that it is the pc term for it. And you're right. I am so uncouth. That's what makes me so lovable. Check out this link to a past post of mine that show an animated Martha Stewart showing everyone the art of queefing from a South Park episode. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Partially, because I can't stand that bitch.

Here's the link...

The Wolf said...

Either the cleaning supplies are frying or brain or that was the most fucked up post I've read. either way it makes total sense.....I'm through the looking glass here.

Kelly said...

The Wolf- Ah, so you taste the understanding fruit, I see. Look to your right and you will also see the neon dragon through the trees. Then you will be on the road to enlightenment.


LilPixi said...

I am so guessing there is a beginning to this that I'm missing.

I was just left so confused & mind fucked. Hahaha.

Kelly said...

Ah yes, you fell into the mind fuck hole, never to come out. Except on Tuesdays, at three. Beginning? Something amiss?


LilPixi said...

There does seem to be a first installment of Mr. checkers I need to check out.

This acid trip intrigues me.
I think it's just my fate to never come out of the mind fuck hole, and twas from birth.

Kelly said...

lilpixi- Yeah, Mr Checkers came on the scene in only 1 other installment I think last month. That one made a bit more sense. Just a little far out.

I'm glad you're enjoying intrigue of this your acid trip. Twas my pleasure. You should try enjoying your stay in the mind fuck hole, rather than attempt escape from it. :)

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