This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Have You Ever.....

....been at a restaurant and you're at your table and this person that you kind of know but not really know that well comes up and shakes your hand, makes small talk with you, then goes to sit down at their table and then you pick up some kind of food you pretty much have to eat with your hands and you go ahead and chomp into it and then this thought suddenly pops into your head?

I WONDER WHERE THAT PERSON'S HAND HAS BEEN BEFORE I SHOOK IT. THAT HAND COULD HAVE BEEN SCRATCHING THAT PERSON'S GREASY HEAD, SWEATY ARMPIT, ACNE SPECKLED BACK OR WRINKLY NUT SACK BEFORE IT TOUCHED MY UNTAINTED, UNDEFILED APPENDAGE.

Have you ever.... been on a wild roller coaster at an amusement park and wonder what it would be like if the coaster you were riding suddenly became unhinged, flew off the track, tumbled downward, over and over, then crushed a bunch of people below into paste, who just recently had been pointing up into the air, shrieking toward your oncoming ride instead of getting the freaking hell out of the way?

Have you ever.... stabbed a frog in the belly with a tree limb and put it over a campfire just to hear it scream? I have. And I sometimes think of that time with regret, especially when I eat frog legs. Mmmmmm.

Have you ever.... heard of a government that would give the wealthiest corporations and banks in the world hundreds of billions of dollars without finding out how the taxpayer's money was spent after the "loan" or "bailout" or "scam"?

Not until about a month ago. Why? What's wrong with that kind of thinking? Where's your anger? Or blind obedience? Heh heh.

Have you ever.... heard of a mother that has purposely given birth to 18 children? I have. She's the mother of the Duggar family from Arkansas. Click this link for more info on that. Since this last little blessing has dropped into this family's life, I have often wondered if this woman somehow believes herself to be a human vending machine, or perhaps, she feels that her vagina is a clown car and has cheerfully opted to force her ever widening clown car door to pop out as many little hairless clowns as it can.

7 comments:

Jeffman said...

Apologies for my absence of late, Kelly my good man. I have been lost in a web of internets and other such scandal.

It would appear we have a very similiar government program in operation over here in the UK. They give our money to the swines that put us in this mess in the first place, then just allow them to get on with their greedy, reckless piracy - answerable to nobody. Part-nationalised banks? Yeah right. We know who's still in charge. Crooks!

Me-Me King said...

Yes, to the where-in-the-hell-has-that-hand-been.
Yes, to the roller coaster disaster.
But, I NEVER stuck a stick in a frog's belly. BUT, I have stuck a firecracker up a frog's butt and, as the explosion occured, it gave new meaning to to the word "Turbo"! (Did I just say that outloud?)
And, yes, to Michelle Dugger - I wonder if she can juggle?

Fast Forward said...

No to the hand, yes to the roller coaster, no to the frog-stabbing...but we once took a dead toad and put a tomato on top of it and placed it in the road just so. One of the elderly neighbors ran over it, then got out of his car and yelled, "You kids are sick!" Good times.

And no to the human breeder and the bailout...oops, too late on both fronts.

Kelly said...

@Jeffman- No problem about your absence around here. I thought maybe I accidentally insulted you and forgot about it. ;)

It's grand knowing your government is just as messed up as mine. Misery loves company.... and the companies.... and governments certainly spare no one any misery.

@Me-Me: You know what? Amost every kid in school, when I was just a wee lad, told me that they had stuck a firecracker up a poor frog's ass and watched it's bits fly everywhere. But I never did that. For some reason, I thought that would be cruel. On the other hand, what I did was somehow acceptable. LOL. (BTW- shame on Me-Me)

I wonder if Michelle Duggar's overused uterus ever falls out her Hoo-Hoo Hatch while she's out shopping all day long for her tribe and she trips over her mangled uterus, creating a scene.

Ya gotta wonder.

Kelly said...

@FastForward- Wow, that is sick. Congrats on causing me to raise my eyebrows on that one. They say that people who torture animals like that when they're kids grow up to be ax murderers. So far, that hasn't happened to me yet. How about you? If not, give it time.

Me-Me King said...

I said a firecracker, like a Black Cat, not a MD80 - jeeez.

Kelly said...

Hee hee. Gosh Me-Me, I figured you would have stuck a live grenade up it's ass. KABLOOEY!

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