This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Power Madness and Public Pools

I thought I'd take a break from the oil spill series for a bit to talk about other, somewhat lighter subjects. Too much bad news and describing negative events tend to drop me in an emotional hole after awhile. But, I'll be back with my third installment, later. Promise.

A couple days ago, my wife and I went to the public pool. It's like some nasty nut house. You got your screaming, splashing monkeys (kids, to some), your ball throwing, sometimes-hitting-you-in-the-face teenagers and old fuckers wearing a collection of straps for a bathing suit, showing off their ugly skin splotches in all their glory.

I think some older folks dress this way, on purpose, just to make people sick. Who wants to see some old wrinkly, dried up fart showing off his gorilla back and gigantic boulder-like moles on his belly. And I won't even go on about the saggy man titties. I try not to look but it's like looking at a car wreck. It's just so damned hideous, you have to catch a glimpse, even it means your retinas are burned out by the overwhelming, powerful grotesqueness of such a freakish thong-wearing monster.

Goddamn, put something more on, please. In fact, I suggest hopping into a big burlap bag next time you want to show yourself in public. I'm trying to keep my food down, you bastards!


Not that I'm any prize. I have stretch marks on my stomach now from when I've lost weight the last year or so. If you want, you can trace them with your tongue. No, on second thought. Don't do that! I would giggle and cave your skull in with my fist.

And as far as caring what people wear, I don't care that much, except when you go to great extremes to be noticed. Then it becomes a weird, needy psychological malady on that person's part and I feel something must be pointed out. Like, get some mental help or stop doing that or both.

Getting back to our public pool outing...

Our main reason for going there was to get a tan and for me, to help with the non-catch skin condition on my hands I've described in an earlier post. We need to get tanner so we don't fry like bacon on our upcoming cruise to the Caribbeans. In regards to my eczema, I figured the chlorine and whatever other chemicals in the pool would help me with my hands and fingers- to help soften my skin and get the dead parts off. Sure enough, some of the old dead skin was starting to separate or shed from my new skin from being in the pool. I felt like a snake.

And no, I didn't shed and leave any skin in the pool for some numb nuts to come up for air and suddenly gulp my dead skin sheddings.

If anyone had seen the palms of my hands that day, when we got out of the pool, they likely would have screamed, pointed at me and declared, "Leper! Leper! This freak with leprosy must be destroyed at once!"

Then I, in turn, like Shrek, would begin a rampant, angry chase against the villagers and stab them with their pitchforks.... or something.

I'm just delighted as heck (sarcasm) that no members of the pool staff noticed I was wearing shorts (a big no-no), instead of swim trunks. There's a big sign at the front entrance of the pool about what you can and can't wear. They say you can't wear shorts, for one thing. No mention of thongs and straps around creases or bulges on the old, ugly or attention needy, of course.

As I was aimlessly walking around the pool, unable to swim because of the frantically mobile kiddies thrashing about, I began thinking about the old saying, Absolute power corrupts absolutely and suddenly thought of that phrase in several different perspectives.

For one, if you had the super abilities of a super hero, would your powers eventually lead you to doing more for yourself than others? Perhaps subtly pushing you to use your power(s) against someone? I would think that human nature and primal instincts might eventually take over and have some negative aspects on you- even if you believe and have convinced yourself that scenario wouldn't happen.

I, myself, think that wouldn't happen to me, but, humans (myself, included, unfortunately) can be unpredictable. Anyone with a speck of common sense can see that and have likely experienced that.

Having too much of anything is bad for humans and their race, in general. Too much money. Too many vices. Too much time wasted. Too much hate. And yes, too much love- if that love takes away from your own self worth or respect and places its powerful drive and purpose solely on that other person, group or organization.

In summary, I believe power can be a dangerous drug or influence for us, humans. We don't have the discipline or wisdom to use it the right way or in a potentially lethal circumstance most of the time. Our ever-advancing technology and intelligence (oh, really?) surpasses our more positive virtues with more frequency than the other way around.

No peeing in the community pool, kids!

7 comments:

The Wolf said...

Yeah I agree with you about absolute power corupting absolutly. Of course when I become dictator of the world that will never happen. I will be a good friendly dictator.............Fuck that who am I kidding, somebody's getting nuked the first day I take office.

klahanie said...

Hi Kelly,
Public swimming pools. Ah...no thanks. I have no desire to swim in the piss of some old fucker whose teeny weeny swimming trunks have dropped down to his ankles after he let rip with a monstrous fart that causes a big brown tidal wave in the public swimming pool. Not my idea of fun.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely. No need to worry about that, dude. I have told you that cats, including yours, have this evil plan to take over the world with absolute pussy power :-)
Have a good weekend and thanks for commenting on my blog.
With respect and a jar of piss-filled public swimming pool water, your way, Gary...

Kelly said...

klahanie- Yeah, I know what you mean about public pools. I remember the good ol' day when mom and dad had their pool that we could swim and have fun in and be relatively sure no one was pissing or shitting in it or whatever. We had a lot of fun in their pool.

Unfortunately, that time has came and went.

"...some old fucker whose teeny weeny swimming trunks have dropped down to his ankles after he let rip with a monstrous fart that causes a big brown tidal wave in the public swimming pool." lol. I loved that. Such beautiful imagery you have offered up there, Gary. Thumbs up!

I know that dozens of people are pissin' away inside the public pool we go to, but, I try not to think about it. Other than the excitable kids and occasional freaks that venture into it, it's pretty clean and has a lot of lifeguards watching over it. So, that last part's a plus. Heh heh. And thanks for the piss-filled pool water coming my way. I'll tell the wife it came from a good friend up north. She'll be delighted... or something. God, you're getting as bad as I am, man. :-)

And yes, I totally agree with what you said about cats and "pussy power". I caught my cat, Victor, text messaging some of his buddies with Plan C, the next step in taking over the world. Take care, dude.

One of The Guys said...

This was really funny AND poignant. Awesome post Kelly!

Kelly said...

Thanks, Guy. Glad you liked it. Yeah... poignant. lol

Mr Monkey said...

Yah, just time for summer. Going to grab my yellow bathing suit.

Mr Monkey

Kelly said...

Mr. Monkey- Yellow bathing suit? Good idea, Mr. Monkey. The pee from the pool pissers won't show up as well on that. Good thinkin'.

Related Posts with Thumbnails

  © Blogger template ProBlogger Template by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP