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This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Monday, October 10, 2011

A Damn Breaky-Doodle-Dandy

Man. Does anyone still remember me? Is anyone out there? Anyone give a flying fucka-roonie? Don't blame ya if ya don't. Hell, I've stayed away so long from BlogLand (like that itchy anal wart you just can't reach with the ointment) that it wouldn't surprise me if you consider me some sort of pariah. Besides, I well know there's more important shit to give a fuck about these days.

Like...

*The economy
*Lack of jobs
*Wars, protests and manipulation by the super wealthy

*and this guy

Trouble is, is that there are so many of these Republican cartoon characters to choose from, laugh at or cringe towards, it's hard to decide who to ignore the most and cast off as pure, obvious dipshits. They say ol' Ricky Boy is no longer a serious contender for the presidential race of 2012 , but really, it wouldn't surprise me that much of America would embrace him. We are, for the most part, a nation of retards who can't figure out what is actually good for us and we seem to only give our attention to those who speak in broad, uncomplicated, monosyllabic verbal strokes and dramatic gestures. We simply can't be bothered to handle any more than that.

Speaking of strokes and Republican cartoon characters...

... like the insatiable, barely coherent Michele Bachmann...

I don't quite know where I was going with this but somehow it all turned into a wacky political thing-a-ma-jig.

I think what I wanted to say, but not apologize for, was that the break I took from Blogland has benefited my roller coaster state of mind. I was finding myself torn the whole time during the break because, I, for the most part, neglected my old blog buddies by not communicating or visiting their blogs. I hated that. But at the same time, I was really enjoying the summer. I have a lot of adventures and meaningful stories to share and hopefully, I will, in the near future.

Anyway, I'm not going to go into one of those tired old speeches that I and other bloggers make/have made when they've taken a long blog break. My part in the whole scheme of things is trivial and I feel that my absence isn't a big deal- except that part where I've truly missed you guys. I hope you're all doing well.

22 comments:

Pickleope said...

Hey! Look who's back, back again. I see your hiatus like that of a television show. Shows get a hiatus so they can produce more, higher quality product, right?
Good to see your triumphant return...and the rebirth of a deluge of dick jokes.

Lost.in.Idaho said...

Welcome back to the hamster wheel... I hope your time off has served you well, yet I hope the insanity is still there.

Rick Perry is a joke. The more he talks, the more he digs himself into a hole. Yet... I'm making money off this guy. As long as he's in the race, I can make "Fuck Rick Perry" designs to my heart's content...

If he becomes president, I'll be effing rich...

Annabelle said...

welcome home, wild man
missed ya

billy pilgrim said...

is it true that michele's husband uses her to cure homosexuality or is there any truth to the rumor she turned him into a puff?


i can't remember if i missed you, it's all a fog.

Anonymous said...

Sir Tom Eagerly says:
What's going on over there old boy.
Ten years ago the USA had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash and Steve Jobs.
Now you have no Hope no Cash and no Jobs!

Kelly said...

Pickleope- Your theory seems sound. I keep going on 'hiatus' and coming back with higher quality dick jokes and thicker, creamier milkshakes each and every time. All true. All chocolate.

But seriously, folks, I do notice I'm quite the amazing fella, whenever I make an appearance here and it's true that my wit, wisdom and stuff just pours out of me to the point where you should be required, by law, to have a good, strong bucket to catch every drop.

That may have been another dick joke, somehow. Not sure. ;-)

Kelly said...

Lost.in.Idaho- Yes, thank you, sir and your worries over my mental state of mind should be put to rest. I am still quite insane. Have been since birth and will continue the good work until I shall pass.

Speaking of good work, if you're making "Fuck Rick Perry" designs and making the big bucks, can I make t-shirts, for sale, saying "I Tried Fucking Michele Bachmann Up The Ass But a Stick Was There- So... I Couldn't"

???

Kelly said...

Annabelle- Thanks, gal pal. Who knows how long it will last? I missed you, too.

Kelly said...

billy pilgrim- I think the idea that Michele has a 'husband' is ridiculous. That would imply the individual is still human and not the quivering mass of whipped pussy he has been turned into since they exchanged vows and she placed the leash around the dumb prick's neck.

And get outta that fog! You're sucking in all of my smoke!

Kelly said...

Sir Tom Eagerly- What a pleasant, unexpected, most fortunate surprise. Listen to this: I had the weirdest dream last night that I was in a dark and lonely dungeon and things were lookin' a might bleak. And then you showed up and the stone walls broke apart to reveal a warm, inviting sun. Then everyone danced and sang sweet harmonies that caused the elves to swoon, birds to tweet and the Smurfs to furiously masturbate amongst themselves.

I deeply enjoyed your joke about the 'no Hope, Jobs or Cash', by the way and plan to use that at the homeless shelter I volunteer at this weekend to entertain the hungry and downtrodden.

bazza said...

Kelly! It's like you've never been gone; right back on the button and bang in form. Yippee! All's well with the world again.
Click here for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

Kelly said...

bazza- Thanks, bazza, me ol' pal. It's like I was lost and I've suddenly found myself again and said, "Hello, Self... How's about you and I getting ourselves an old goat to screw and having a good laugh as it's sides split in half because of OUR enormous penis?"

Yes, I'm back again. It's good to be back. Hopefully, I can make it stick this time around. And yes, that might have been yet another dick joke. Apparently, I have a deluge of them. :)

klahanie said...

Hello ummm...ah yes, hello Kelly,
Gosh, I thought the blogging world wouldn't survive without your deeply profound and inspirational musings. Indeed, the world of blogging, nearly died a fateful death, with your lack of delighting us with some of the best darned tootin' crap, I mean thoughtfully articulated tales of woe, wonder and wanking.
I'm glad you didn't apologise for not blogging. Those that do kinda' piss me off. Like I would apologise for not blogging because my stuff is so vitally important to folk's lives. I think not.
The main thing is that you got out there, had some positive distractions in the great outdoors. It's a pleasure to see you back, good buddy :)
Take care, I'm going for a dump....

Alphabeta said...

I did notice your absence my good man.
Welcome back and I look forward to more of your carnivalesque shenanigans.

Kelly said...

klahanie/Gary- Ummm... hello... yes, a-ha, and then some.

Yeah, the whole while I was absent from the blogging world, the thought that persisted in my thoughtful, lovable, sharing, caring completely non-psychotic lil' ol'mind was:

HOW IS THE BLOGGING WORLD SURVIVING WITHOUT THE PURE GENIUS AND WIT OF MY BLOG AND GOOD, WHOLESOME SELF?

...and then I cut fart and shat myself, completely distracting myself from the real issues gripping today's society like this.

Darn tootin' (beloved) crap? Tales of woe, wonder and wanking? Beeswax and pierced, infected love buttons? Take off, you hoser, to The Great White North! Oh, wait... never mind. Yeah, that pisses me, too, when bloggers do that for the same reason. I really did have some positive distractions this summer. A few bad ones, thrown into the mix, too, though- courtesy of good ol' Dad- but I'm not going to talk about it just yet. Have a great dump, my friend- past, present and in the future. You deserve it.

Kelly said...

Alphabeta- Ah-ha...So you did notice?! I knew it! (giggle)

Thanks for the welcome back and I can almost promise you some type shenanigans are going to fall from the sky and clobber us in our heads any second now. stay tuned.

GEM said...

Ah....let the fun and games and laughter recommence! :))

Kelly said...

GEM- Yes, indeed. It seems no matter how much I leave the magical world of blogging, I keep returning like the prodigal son. :) Hopefully, I can make it stick this time around- at least for more than a month. Glad you paid the ol' blog a visit, GEM.

Anonymous said...

I liked Dave Letterman's take on the Republican debates, he said,"Obama was watching the debates, and before it was over, he yells at Michelle, 'Honey, I think you can stop packing!'"

I think that says it all!

Kelly said...

Anonymous- That's funny what Dave said. Yeah, there really aren't any decent Republican candidates to choose from to race against Obama. They're all a bunch of obvious clowns- even from a Republican point of view. That's why I think of them as being cartoon characters. They're too laughable to be taken seriously.

LilPixi said...

I was away again while you came back, so I'm a bit late (haven't sat in front of the computer for longer than 5 minutes in 2-4 weeks), but you know I always eventually make it over. ;) Great to see you posting again!! I hope we'll get a lot more of it now that hibernation season is coming up! =)XoX

Kelly said...

Lilpixi- It seems like when you take off from the blogosphere, I'm here and vice versa, doesn't it? I know what you mean by not spending any time in front of the computer for awhile.

By the way, your absence was missed. You're my blog buddy/ female counterpart, after all. And yes, I know you always eventually make it over. Even though we've both been hit and miss in the blogging scene for months, we will be blogging or interacting more during the upcoming fall and winter months.

Yep... Hibernation season is almost upon us and there isn't much to do in snow and ice but stay indoors and type on a keyboard. Hugs, <3 and rip-juicy farts to ya, Christina.

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