When THE BREAKING NEWS thing flashed across the screen and the reporter said he was about to give everyone some important news, I was disappointed to find out it was only this bit of unworthy poop diddley. The way the reporter was frantically jabbering away, I thought the Chinese, the terrorists and North Korea were sending bombs our way or something.
But, no, just more hype over something trivial again. Boooooor-ring.
The reporter finally let loose with the potentially life-changing news by saying a politician was resigning over the erection Twitter pics he sent a young woman and they were going to show him doing his resignation speech on live TV.
To me, it might as well had been something as irrelevant as Charlie Sheen's maniacal rantings about winning or about Hugh Hefner's 25 year old fiancee calling off their wedding. That's what passes for news these days. I guess they figure people want to hear some shit that's more messed up than their own lives so they'll tune in, maybe even buy some crap because of the advertisements during the commercial breaks. Who knows? Big MEH!
I paused at the door just long enough to hear a heckler say, "Goodbye, pervert!"
At least the heckler, in the press conference area, was sending him off with a fond farewell, I thought. I stuck around for a few more seconds.
Then I had to laugh when the heckler asked the politician, Anthony Weiner, if he was more than 7 inches. That was funny. At least that part was a little surprising and offered some laughs.
I also read on the internet that CBS later bleeped that part out (the 7 inches) of the original video clip. That's too bad. At least it was actually funny. Hell, if you're going to distract people with nonsense, you should at least give them the full load. Wait. Maybe that didn't sound right.
The heckler said a few more things but then Weiner, the man that will always be known because of his infamous Internet boner pictures until the next big news comes along, stepped down from the podium.
Shrugging my shoulders, I went out the door and went into town, continuing my life as always.
Here's the uncut version of the BIG BREAKING NEWS.
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33 comments:
The not so subtle art of misdirection.
Keep your eye on the monkey. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
Completely agree with you and Annabelle. Waste of time. It reminds me of the kid at the end of Back to the Future 3 who waves the camera in and points at his crotch (seriously, Google "back to the future 3 kid"). That kid distracts and erases all the greatness of each previous movie, that filthy perv. Oh, by the way, at least one of the accountants at your office are into some depraved, deviant stuff, guaranteed.
Annabelle- Ah, you've got that straight. Those with the power to misdirect and lie, do enjoy manipulating the gullible. What fun there is to be had with the folks across our land that don't mind the mind games.
Zippity doo-da!
Pickleope- Damn, I didn't know about the 'Back to the Future 3 kid'. lol. Luckily, all of the movie greatness hasn't been erased for me yet because I haven't spotted him and his crotch pointing behavior. I'm saddened by the realization. Or not. :)
People are truly silly fucks, aren't they? They waste time like they have it by the shit bucket loads.
I try to satiate my accountants and their craving for lewd, deviant stuff by allowing them to fuck the goats in the back room.
It's not really breaking news that a twat resigned, really slow news day?
The Wolf- I think you should go with your shitting idea. Hey, with the way the news media goes nutso over the stupidest crap, I can easily see that making headlines. Your comment made me visualize a big turd having sex with Rachel on "Friends".
Yeah, I read about that riot in Canada over the hockey game. I thought that was kinda wild. You don't hear much Canadians freaking out like that, breaking shit, turning over cars and looting and all the rest. Every time I envision the population in Canada, I would see them as pretty laid back people. Did somebody lace the water up there with drugs?
The Angry Lurker- You're right. It isn't breaking news. Unfortunately or, more importantly, there was other more vital news to be talked about that day but the news stations here thought the "Weiner resignation" was big enough to call it breaking news. They're morons, whatever their excuse is.
Boners broadcast over the Internet become the catalyst for ground breaking news. A hardened phallus on Twitter is just as much of an issue as unemployment, terrorism or celebrities with ruby encrusted genitals.
so Weiner has withdrawn... lol
BTW Kelly, I finally received the picture of your penis that you sent me and you were right! It does curve a bit to the left doesn’t it?
El Gavino- Or can I call ya Gavin, for short? (snicker)
Thank goodness for the broadcasting of boners over the InterNuts and hardened phalluses to be found in the Twatter.
I mean, why talk about the real issues of the day when you can focus on these kinds of highly important items of interests?
Mind if I do something rare and go over to your site to say something rude and distasteful? I know it's not usually my thing. :-)
ResCogitans- Lol... yes, withdrawn in shame. He has withered back into his turtle-like shell, in fact.
Mrs. Pickle- Well gosh, Mrs. P, I think I may be blushing red. Either that or that's my hardened phallus springin' a leak through my pee hole.
I'll sure try to send you more pics of my meaty member in all of it's infinite glory. Behold!!-- For there is a halo of holiness around my blessed wang! Thanks for the info about how much your snatch can take. You've shared vital information. I'm sure your hubs would give ya the thumbs up on letting all of us know about that. :-)
Glad you enjoyed the Weiner video. Sounds like a porno film, eh? That wasn't very sporting of Congressman Weiner to not share his boner pics for your nipple pics with you. Shame on him. He should resign from office or something. Oh... wait a minute... he did. And yeah, thanks for noticing my meat log bends to the left. Even my penis curves politically to the left. Imagine that!
Take care, Mrs. Pickle. Pictures of my hairy nipples are on the way! God bless!
will he get a golden parachute or a golden shower?
And nothing of Value was lost.
Sir Tom Eagerly, says:
What! Have they outlawed perversion now? What's next - buggery? Oh. Have I said too much?
billy pilgrim- Hopefully, he will get a golden parachute. I don't think he should get a golden shower- unless he wants it. It's not like he did anything wrong, after all. Heh heh.
LoneIslander- That's for damn sure!
Sir Tom Eagerly- It's astonishing, isn't it? Gosh, I certainly hope buggery isn't next. What will you do during your off hours?
And no, you haven't said too much. In fact, tell us more and enlighten us. You sir, are a wealth of knowledge.
Pressured to resign because he flashed his boner around and that's news. It's not like he let some skank suck him off in the O(R)val Office.
Although I'm not a typical woman and, like most men, I don't "get" many women, I have to say that at least my gender doesn't have this kind of problem. It's always the male gov't officials who get caught with whores or twittering their weenis, never the women.
I may not understand many women, but thank GOD they're not that stupid.
@ Lana: But that's not exactly true. What about women that flash their boobs all over the internet, on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, etc.
And what about the many female teachers that are now registered sex offenders, such as Mary Kay Letourneau and this growing list of freaks here?
Women just don't get the kind of attention men do, because it's more readily accepted when women post nude or provocative photos of themselves than it is for men. The minute some guy posts a picture of his schlong on Facebook his account gets yanked (no puns intended) - but if a woman puts a photo of her bosom up for people to see, it rarely, if ever, gets reported.
Don't get me wrong, I think anyone who posts provocative pictures of themselves, such as in the nude, anywhere on the internet has a few screws loose (no puns again) and really needs attention (the wrong kind of it too).
Okay, so now that we have that out of the way...who wants to see my nipples?
Sir Tom Eagerly, says:
And what, may one ask, is the problem with perverts? It takes all sorts you know Kelly.
Bottoms up! Oops, have I given too much away?
My sincerest apologies, Kelly!! I haven't been to anyone's blog, including even my own, since I left for vacation. I dropped by Brandon's real quick because I noticed on Twitter he was going through something traumatic, but other than that I've been like a ghost. Now I'm back, though, and attempting to catch up!
Unbelievable about Wiener, isn't it?! Ah, the irony in that name! Somebody said it perfectly on Twitter: "We live in a country where people can lie about war, but if you send someone a photo of your dick, we can't trust you." WTF. Unfuckingbelievable the way someone is grilled & exposed if they're a public figure, and the big deal everybody makes of it.
Reminds me of Douglas Adams take on politicians in Hitchhiker's Guide. Specifically that their role is not to exercise power, but to distract from those who do.
You have to love a bit of heckling.
Static- I didn't think that was a big deal, either, back then when Monica sucked off Bill. Who cares? I was more interested in what he was doing positively or negatively for the country. All I know is, is that Wiener dude will be a tiny footnote in history (probably not even that) as a politician who famously sent a couple pics of bulging peckerwood over the net. Again, who cares?
Lana Gramlich- Yeah, you don't see many FEMALE gov't officials showing off their goods by twittering or whatever. In fact, I can't think of one right now. Now, like it has been pointed out before, there are women from other walks of life that do it all the time but I think that's pretty obvious. Damn, I just had a horrible image flash through my mind. Hillary Clinton... nude... covered with pudding. I shall now attempt to clear my mind with a tall glass of Everclear.
Static- Please put away your nipples for a rainy day. Man Nips are never a pretty sight.
Sir Tom Eagerly- Well, I think you may have given away far too much, Sir Tom. 'Bottoms up' indeed. :-)
Nah, I'm all for perverts as long as they're not hurting anyone or not abusing the wee ones. That's just downright sick. But perverts who balance plates and small vermin on their dicks or women who lay hard boiled eggs out of their twats are fine with me. Take care, friend.
LilPixi- Well, LiliPixi, I certainly know what you mean by being blog ghost. No need for apologies. Glad you commented. Hell, I can't even get around to responding to comments on my own blog, let alone create a new post or visit other blogs these days. Hope you had a great holiday weekend. About the Weiner thing- His name in this is ironic. :) And though I feel some pity for Wiener's wife (or whatever she is to him) in this political fiasco but to me, it's not that big a deal- as far as being a real story. The media has played the small story up and now the small story has pretty much used up it's 15 minutes of fame and the media has already found something else to blather on about.
I like your quote and it's so fucking true, isn't it? Take care LiliPixi!
DocStout- I think that Douglas Adams quote is quite apt regarding this political pecker tale. I think pretty much all politicians fill that niche. I always liked those 'Hitchhiker' books. Funny material with bits o' truth.
Alphabeta- I love the heckling when it's funny and directed at politicians that enjoy exposing themselves. If I were a politician (which could never happen), I doubt I'd do what he did. He was definitely thinking with the wrong head.
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