This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Friday, March 4, 2011

The Psycho Carnival Award For Originality

I'm more than just a little ecstatic and loopy with glee to present my first ever, created-by-me, award. You could say that I'm more excited than a upright-standing, three-legged weasel, twirling a baton and gnashing it's teeth to the beat of Metallica's Master of Puppets. In the three and a half years of blogging, I felt the urge to produce an award that seemed to represent a quality I admire most in a blog... ORIGINALITY.

This award is given to those I believe who stand out in their blogs by showing and offering one of the greatest qualities most of us enjoy finding in a blog- and that is true originality. I'm talking about the kind of originality that you can tell isn't forced to garner attention for attention's sake or some other trivial pursuit but the kind that is apparent, shown by fresh, inviting writing that is displayed simply for the enjoyment of the blog author and any random Internet surfer that is visiting.

It can be a blog of humor, world news, history, paranormal, erotica or one that does not fit with the supposedly normal (but not really) values of a truly fucked up society or a mixture of all of the above and then some. Whew! I think I popped a vein in my forehead getting all that out. For Christ sakes, call 911 or give me a blow job or something. Girls only, though. My swing only goes in one direction.

In the future, I will award other bloggers this fine, you-can't-sell-this-for-magic candies award another time but for right now, I'm going to offer it to these four fine folks. I won't bother handing it to the good folks out there who don't accept awards because there's no point.

Without further ado, I present the Psycho Carnival Award for Originality to the following bloggers, in no particular order (please save for your applause or masturbatory tribute until I've finished reading the recipient's names) :

(1) Rebecca, from the most excellent, humorous satire blog called The Snee: The Sometimes, Never, Eventual, Express. Very original, very clever. You'll ask yourself where she comes up with this great stuff until you finally blow a vein in your head. Then you'll be sad. But if you get your satiric news here, you'll be a happy weasel once again.

(2) Greg, from The De-Evolution of Man. Always some wild, original and hysterical writing to be found here. He can find the humor in the craziest or most mundane of things. Like the routine a man goes through each morning... such as showering, shaving, shitting and dipping a spoon in the soft, wriggly eyeball of a tied up retard who every so often shouts, "Akibba bu dilla!", without warning.

(3) LilPixi, from It's a Lollipop World. Brilliant, off-the-fucking-hook writing and photos can be found here. Laughs are what you'll get when you read her up front, in your face stories and ideas. The very epitome of originality are what you'll find on her site. You'll chuckle uncontrollably until you spooge.

(4) Gary, from klahanie. His blog promotes positivity with his non-abrasive, honest writing that is often spiked with humor, irony and/or kindness. His writing and photos are completely original and that is one of his qualities I most admire. Plus, his farts smell like cabbage. I know. He kindly sent me a jar of homemade farts for Christmas last year. Had a fancy bow on top.

People seem to enjoy making rules up for these awards that are passed around to show appreciation. I've never understood the rules concept in all that. But for fun, and because the devil is dancing and playing the ukulele by my ear, I feel compelled to come up with a few rules you may or may not want to act upon. Or make up your own. Remember... you're creative... and original. Just don't get too creative or the boring, normal ones will lock you up in a padded cell, in leather restraints, with no pants. That way, they can come and bugger ya in your sleep.

Here be for thee... The Magnificent Rules

First- Copy, paste and display these rules and this award upon your blog, if you so desire.
Second- Give this award to anyone who exemplifies originality, in some way, in their blog.
Third and Three Quarters- Answer this most important question: Ketchup or Pygmies?
Fourth- Write an original thought (or something that seems like a rare idea) or display a photo for everyone to stare at, in awe, that will cause the peeps to fall down upon their knees and smile with tears of profound realization. Or just say the first thing that comes to mind.
Fifth- Give a link to the one who bestowed the award to you. No, I don't mean a savory sausage link. That's the image I just saw in your mind. Amazing, yes?

Well, folks... there you have it. The Psycho Carnival Award For Originality. Winning recipients may place this award upon their mantelpieces with pride and enjoy for years to come. I must go now and twirl my baton.


LilPixi said...

Just when I think you have given the best descriptions ever, you never cease to amaze me. Talk about a brilliant writer, though, my friend. I'm right on the page of one of the finest to ever grace the blogosphere.

What an honor of honors! What an awesome award! This made my week. I do already have one blogger in mind, but you'd be the first person to come to mind, and I'm thinking in my head if I were to create an award & someone awarded it to me, that'd be weird as hell. lol

So much love & farts it's not even friggin' funny. Well, it's always funny, esp. the farts.
So much thanks, Kelly!!

LilPixi said...

P.S. The only blog listed here I think I haven't yet been to is The Snee, but it sounds like something I gotta check out because I know the other two are fabulous blogs!

I love the good thought you put into this award. Some just float around out there with no real rhyme or reason & sometimes people just passing them onto a certain number of other people from a sense of obligation. This one is unique & awesome!

klahanie said...

Howdy Kelly,
I am flattered, beyond any adequate adjectives to have received, what will be, one of the most loved and most highly sought after blogging awards ever!
Thus, I would take this opportunity to heap huge amounts of gooey and steaming praise on your good self. You sir, are the epitome of all things flexible and indeed original in the blogging community. I'm honoured ('honored'..take that 'spell check') that you would include my shy and humble self amongst the truly awesome bloggers you have so kindly bestowed this award too. I shall duly adhere to your rules and yes indeed, I know the answer to that all important question numbered 'Third and Three Quarters' :-)
Gosh and gee whiz, you, because of this overwhelming kindness to me, will be sent over another jar of homemade farts. However, because you're so special n' stuff, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, has kindly let rip the best darn tootin' fart and the fart has been jarred, especially for you. How lucky are you, Kelly?
Kind wishes and thank you very much.
Gary :-) said...

Grats to all 4. BIG fan of Pixi's work, and I hope to be as 'famous' as her one day. Cheers!

klahanie said...

And to you LilPixi, a while ago, I gave you an award, but for some reason, I couldn't leave a comment on your site to inform you. Thus, if you wish to check it out, here is where you can find the award for you and your superb blog :-)
May you both have a peaceful and positive weekend....

The Wolf said...

First the oscars and now this fine trophy, congrats to those who got it. I was going to create an award to bloggers myself, but not everyone would appreciate the severed head of a backstabbing polliticion delivered to them in a Foot Locker shoe box like I would.

bazza said...

Hi Kelly. When it come to originality you should give the award to YOURSELF! Even the award design is original; consider yourself awarded thus from me. (Can I do that?)
Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

THE SNEE said...

WHAT AN AWESOME AWARD! I've been lost at sea for over a week and in a lovely sun coma, so imagine my absolute pleasure and excitement after being away from the blogosphere to see that you created, and bestowed this originality award to THE SNEE! Thank you Kelly!!! I have to agree with my fellow bloggers that you are very very deserving of this award. I always love reading your take on the world. You are the master of original material, and I count myself very lucky to have crossed our wires online. Congrats to the other recipients!
I'll be back to snow, mud and clouds in a few days. I can't
wait to catch up with everyone's posts. For now, I must
contemplate whether I go for pygmies or ketchup.
Be well, and again thank you for thinking of me dear fellow chili eater, and Ohio river valley bloggy buddy.

kerrie said...

dear mr K
thanks for sharing some new bloggin sites to look at I am off write away to check out

Kelly said...

LilPixi- Wow... Thank you, sincerely, for the great compliment, at the beginning. I feel you're a brilliant writer, as well. Anyone who checks out your blog just once, at least, will be able to tell that from the talented way you have with words.

You truly deserve this award of originality and a thousand others. You were one of the first, if not the first person that came to mind when I thought about who deserved it. You have an insightful, creative mind that is able to put her original ideas into great writing.

I appreciate you saying that you'd give me this same award, based on what I want it to represent to everyone. It seems you, bazza and Rebecca think I should accept this award, myself, so gosh darn it... you talked me into it. I accept! Damn, all of you twisted my arm! lol. And sure, it's weird as all fuck to give myself my own award, but, ahem... since it's been assisted upon. And I don't mind the weirdness. I'm all about that shit.

Seriously, though, I did put some thought into it, like you said. For a long time, I thought of creating this award because I noticed that with all of awards being passed back and forth, none mentioned one of the most admirable qualities you hope to find on the Internet- Originality. You saw and validated the message I was trying to convey and I thank you for that.

I truly appreciate all the Love & Farts, LilPixi, you're so kind to be sending me. But don't skimp on the butt gravy! lol.

Love and Farts to you, LilPixi. Have a delightfully weird and peaceful weekend!

Kelly said...

klahanie- Thanks and you're welcome, Gary, all at the same time. Can that be done? I don't rightly know. Am I concerned about the consequences of doing both actions at once. Well... Will a chicken peck at your taint while you're asleep? Who knows? But I won't be a test subject.

Seriously, though, thanks for the 'original' and 'flexible' compliments. In response to that, I can only say I like writing in a variety of styles and offering my own ideas, in all their honesty, with the way I want to present them. I influence myself, whether that's good, bad, right or wrong. But you know, as well as I do, that there are those out there that do seem to be influenced how popular they believe themselves to be. Bloggers like you are honest and say what you feel. That's just one more quality I like about you, dude.

I look forward to reading your answer on number 3 and 3/4. :) gosh, you're sending me dog farts from Penny now. This is definitely an upgrade from the farts you were sending me before. I mean, gee whiz and good gollykins, all I received before were your low quality, sub standard farts.

Have the best damned weekend a man can stand, my friend!

Kelly said... Yeah, I'm a big fan, too, of her work. And I have no doubt you will be as 'famous' as her someday. :-) That will be the day you can't find a hat that will be able to fit on your head. Take care!

Kelly said...

The Wolf- I would have deeply appreciated that award. The decapitated head of a worthless, scheming ass like that would go well with the severed nutsack of a corporate executive who treats their employees like flies on a turd.

Kelly said...

bazza- I thank so very sincerely for saying that, Bazza. The answer to your question: OF COURSE! In fact, I will accept that award and since the rules are so darned flexible with this award, I will give it to humble self. That's just how swell a guy I can be. lol.

Seriously though, I did take my time in choosing the design of the award. I wanted photo and other things to very much look like an award. Take care and have a rip-dandy weekend, my friend.

Anonymous said...

Found your site through the Lollipop Guild and thought I would stop by and say hello or hey or something slightly more Original like Sup?

I appreciate the interests that you listed on your profile. I thought "net surfing" a bit peculiar as an interest but definitely Original!!

Kelly said...

THE SNEE- Alright, I'm going to try this again. Yesterday, I wrote a really lengthy comment back to ya but blogger wouldn't let me put it on here- then I had to leave, abruptly, to do stuff with the wife.

I want to thank, you, Rebecca, for the kind and flattering words and I'm honestly glad that you like reading my blog. I'm happy that you and I have crossed blog paths with each other, as well. People that are as talented and nice as you are what makes blogging such a wonderful, positive experience. I feel fortunate to have found you, too. YOU... are a master of ORIGINALITY, big time, lady.

I hope your snow goes away like it has here in Indiana, finally. Now it just rains all the time. Beats the snow, though. :) So was your sun coma fun?

From one Ohio Valley Chili eater to another, I hope you have nothing but the best of days. Take care, Rebecca.

Kelly said...

kerrie- You're welcome. I'm glad to see you're getting back into the swing of things, blogging-wise. I'll be at your blog to comment a little later today. I'm having trouble catching up with everyone because of so much neediness from family and friends. In other words, I'm getting pulled in all directions again. Eh, enough complaining. Take care, Kerrie!

Kelly said...

The Minute Man's Wife- Hahaha. Yeah, 'Sup?' is definitely more original than saying- How's it going, eh? LilPixi is the tops, btw.

Oh my goodness, you've read my profile? I hope they've removed the nudie pictures of me and the farm animals by now. That was slightly embarrassing. lol.

Seriously, I'll be at your blog later today, to comment, after I fulfill all these regular family obligations. I gotta go after I type this. Thanks for stopping by and come again anytime.

chhipa said...

Another great article. I like that you are very honest and direct to the point.
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Greg said...

Well, I'm refreshed from my vacation and ready to accept the award. I will honor the award, and I do apologize for my late acceptance. I swear i wasn't in rehab with Charlie Sheen...really.

I was whisked away in a time warp...and well oh well that's another story, but i will be sure to honor the rules and post your award.

I know i have missed some excellent posts here at Psycho Carnival and will do all I can to catch up.

Again Thank You for the award!

Kelly said...

Greg- Hope you had a great time on your vacay, dude. No need to apologize. It was just a weird circumstance and timing where I happened to give ya the award just as you were going on vacation. You weren't in rehab with Charlie? Well hell, you probably missed out on some valuable wisdom from the Tiger Blood Master. I know how those time warps can be. And it's so hard to jerk off while you're in one, I find. Bummer.

Hey, you're welcome on the award, Greg. It's great you're going to follow the rules and post the award. You deserve it. You write some awesome original shit on your blog and people should take notice.

Take care.

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