This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Caribbean Adventure: Inside My Pirate Ship... Argh!

Well, it isn't an actual pirate ship. More like a cruise ship. Well, really, exactly a cruise ship. Once we got our bearings on what was where on Freedom Of The Seas, it was the middle of the week. That's how long it really took us to find the basic restaurants and theaters and pools and all the important places on the ship. That's how damn big it is.

Exact figures: The ship stands 18 decks (209 ft/63.7m) high. Of those decks, fifteen are for passengers. And it is 1,111.9 ft (338.91 m) in length.

It's a big one.

They called it a floating city and it was really like a huge community of connected people. Everyone was polite to each other. There was never any pushing or shoving during the long lines here and there and everyone was very open to one another about their life outside our cruise, telling details about themselves, laughing and enjoying the company of others.

We didn't meet an unfriendly passenger even once. It was an idyllic atmosphere.

Even I, the social non conformist, pessimist and critic of society as a whole, began getting into the spirit of our community. The mutual friendliness and positive talk of the passengers on the ship drew me in and soon I was talking it up with everyone, too.

I think that when you get a shit load of people inside an enclosed area, out in the middle of a ocean that can be potentially dangerous or unpredictable, everyone senses that and they get gradually insinuated into that attitude of "Well, we're all in this together... Let's try to get along."

But that could be a jaded, no-matter-how-accurate point of view. It could very well be that everyone was just wanting to have a good time and didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that and honestly wanted to meet new people and learn about them. I'm pretty certain no one wanted a scenario like you would find on a real pirate ship, where there could be sword fights and heads coming off and rolling on the upper deck and falling into one of the highly chlorinated swimming pools. Although, that would be kind of cool to see if you were watching at a safe distance and had the sufficient weaponry and ammo to protect yourself.

Check out these photos of the interior of the ship.....

What the hell! A mermaid coming out from the Promenade ceiling. She looks a little stoned. Or frightened.... because she's dangling in the air by a water foam turd. You choose.


Glass elevators going so far up they reach the planes up in the air.


Just one small section of the Promenade. Everything was lit up that night for Formal Night.


I do not know why there is a car in the middle of the busiest floor on the deck. And I don't know why it's first name is Morgan. Is he a cousin to Herbie The Love Bug, perhaps?

CheeseHead, sculpted from a big block of cheese, resides in the Windjammer Cafe.

If you were lost (which would happen a lot) and lucky (which would not happen as often) you could find one of these on a ship deck to sort of give you the direction you needed to go.


This was our Ocean View Balcony Stateroom. It was quite nice to be able to sit out on the balcony and enjoy your very own private, quiet view of the ocean. It was beneficial to my peace of mind. A took a lot of photos of islands, sunsets and the ocean from the balcony.

Look closely and you'll see one of many towel animals that our stateroom attendant made for us every night. This night it was a dog, made entirely of towels. They would do these for every passenger cabin on the ship.


A swan


And with this monkey, my wife thought it needed a banana because the poor thing was without a goddamn dick.


And here we are, at the Windjammer cafe, eating our 20th meal of the day. Of course, I'm exaggerating about that figure but it does seem you eat a lot more on a cruise more than pretty much anywhere else. The food was great here, as it was in the Jade Cafe and Cafe Promenade.

Our server, Gabrielle, was nice enough to take this picture of us. I think it's a pretty good shot, myself.

10 comments:

Gucci Mama said...

Fabulous! Makes me want to go on a cruise.

Now, please.

Kelly said...

Gucci Mama- I know what you mean. It makes me long to be back on the ship. If I had a magic wand, besides the one in my pants, I would cast a spell for you and have ya cruising in no time there.

bazza said...

That ship looks sensational!
By the way, Morgan cars are British hand-built sports cars with about one year to wait for a new one!

klahanie said...

Hi Kelly,
Another highly informative posting and some great photographs to compliment the whole ambience.
It's really encouraging to know that it was like a big friendly and polite community on the pirate, I mean, cruise ship. Glad you felt at ease. That's really positive stuff.
With respect and a long plank, your way, Gary:-)

The Wolf said...

I've never been on one of those massive cruise ships, but we get them coming up here and parking at Canada place all the time. I knew they were big, but the pics of the interior makes them look huge. You're ship kinda reminded me of the Vanitian hotel in Las Vegas

Kelly said...

bazza- Oh yeah, it was sensational. Great food. So much entertainment. Musicals, comedy and aerial acrobatics in the theatre. Outdoor whirlpools. Once you got the hang of where everything was basically at, it got to be downright enjoyable and relaxing.

See. I figured you or someone else would tell me what the heck is a Morgan car if I just put the picture up and revealed I didn't know squat about it. The description of it sounds kinda cool. Bet you have to be wealthy to afford one, too!

Kelly said...

klahanie- Thanks, Gary. Yeah, it was cool, in that kind of atmosphere. Everyone relating to each other, talking about pretty much anything. I haven't felt that much at ease for awhile.

And then we'd have massive orgies.

Ah, I wish. Well, maybe not. Some of those big fatties suffered from huge asses and gigantic camel toe syndrome.

By long plank, do you mean, er, well, uh, never mind. :) Take care of yourself.

Kelly said...

The Wolf- Well, if you ever do get to be on a cruise ship like the one we had, let me forewarn you... You might get lost on it for the first two days. They're simply is not enough crew and good signs to let you know where to go.

That was my only complaint about the ship.

Otherwise, it was a floating paradise, man. I'm not sure of what that hotel in Vegas looks like. Never been there. On the ship, there was lots of art pieces all over the walls and built into the interior of the ship. And like I explained to bazza... megatons of entertainment. Casino, massage/spa, night clubs, mini golf, fuckin' the monkey....

One of The Guys said...

I think both of your opinions are correct. People were out to have a good time, AND people will work together when they're out in the middle of the ocean on one "boat."

Great pictures! I can't believe how big that boat is. Holy cow!

Kelly said...

One of The Guys- I think it's a mix of both theories, as well. Thanks for the great pics comment. You should see the next ones I'm putting up on the blog. Nothing short of spectacular. And yeah... I couldn't believe how big our ship was either and still can't.

Take care.

Related Posts with Thumbnails

  © Blogger template ProBlogger Template by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP