Surviving Christmas Hell

Mmmm....
Christmas is not quite over for me. I've been to three different houses, so far. A few more visits to a couple more "divided" family subgroups are on the agenda. By "divided" I mean those members that don't get along with the one main group that they belong to. Confused? So am I by it all. It would take to long to explain here, however.

Anyway, the visits I've had thus far have been pleasant. No dramatic bickering, outbursts or pointless hostility. Just the exchange of good conversation, humorous observations and good old gift giving. Unfortunately, since times were tough for us this end of the year, we couldn't buy gifts for everyone, as tradition dictates. Instead, we baked brownies, muffins and cakes for everybody. A first for us, as far as gift giving goes. And when I say "we", I actually mean my wife.

According to what my trustworthy tv says, the whole point of Christmas is to be a good consumer and BUY, SPEND and WASTE for good old AMERICA, INC. Hooray, indeed.

Another dark side to Christmas would be the constant rushing around you have to do to prepare for it. Putting up the tree. Getting/stringing up decorations. Running from store to store purchasing stuff for whoever. Mowing down the little old grandmama trying to make her way across the mall parking lot.

Sniff. Sniff. Imagine the tear rolling down my cheek.

Then, of course, there's a big majority of the population that has to work longer hours around Christmas Hell. My wife works at WallyWorld, for example. She could tell you wonderful horror stories concerning the customers that come through her line. More than a few times has a customer been pissed about something she has no control over. She has been called a bitch and/or has had store items thrown at her. She, unfortunately, has to remain respectful. I, however, do not have the patience. I would gleefully ram said item(s) up their disrespecting sphincters until eyes bulged and bleeding commenced.

I have great admiration for how she has to deal with people.

People suck. Is that a newsflash for ya?

But getting back to the good stuff about the holidays. Christmas is good when you see family members that you like and don't mind talking to. Christmas is fine when you see your kids' faces express honest excitement and gratitude for the thing you've bought them. I don't have kids for this but I think that's how it would play out. Christmas is dandy, especially, when it's all over with and you're killin' those needless brain cells with much drink and then some on New Year's Eve while urinating on the head of a plastic lawn Santa.

That's all I got. What say you?