This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Funky Animal Genitals

My sister, Krista, has a fair variety of animals on her property nowadays. She's got chickens, a rooster, a hen, a potbellied pig, a cat, a rabbit and a bunch of ducks. Oh, and loads of ticks during the summer months. My friends, family and I have nicknamed her place "The Tick Ranch" because of all the little buggers that hang out there. It seems no matter how hard you look, you're bound to find at least one of the little bastards hiding on some part of your body when you return home from there. One evening, in fact, I had just come home from doing some fishing at "The Tick Ranch" and I was lucky enough to find a tick crawling dangerously near my scrotum. Evil Lyme Disease Carrying Bastard! I quickly snatched it up with a tissue before it could do any major blood-sucking damage to my cherished, sacred meatsack. I then rushed to burn his creepy ass alive in the ashtray. That showed him.

While we are on the subject of animals and genitals, let me share with you a wonderful story that my sister related to me not long ago. Last week, while my sister went out to check out her animal farm, she was treated to a show performed by two of her ducks. The male duck was on top of the female duck doing what was suppposed to be a natural act. According to sis, it was anything but natural. It turns out the genitals of ducks are hideously deformed and just not right. My sister, horrified, could not look away. It appeared as if the guts were coming out of the male duck's lower half. The female duck's junk was equally grotesque. Disturbed, yet intrigued all the same, she later seeked out a picture of duck genitals on the internet and sent me a few pics so that I could see the nightmarish imagery myself. I sent her a note of thanks after seeing the pics and promptly upchucking my last meal.

Not only am I going to share with you the duck pics and their ungodly private parts but I'm also going to show you more than you wanted to see with more funky animal genitals from the animal kingdom. Hooray you say? You bet!

Note: The female duck's genitals are on the left. The male's weirdo junk is on the right. Below that is a male duck, in flight, with his gangly weinersnitzle hanging down and out.

The following pictures are of a donkey weenie, snake's double headed penis, an elephant's tallywhacker and a Killer Whale's 8 foot long penis. Aren't you jealous, guys? Imagine. Eight feet long. Wow. I mean.... where would you put a thing like that? Geez!


Lord Mardee said...

now I'll take the snake's double headed penis then i could put it in both holes ha ha But as for the donkey I'd love to hung that long so would most women love to have their men hung like that.

Sy said...

You can see why they call it a "Killer Whale" then cant you. That is gonna slice a woman in half!

Kelly said...

Lord Mardee: You are sick and demented. So we think the same. Heh heh. That's bad. Isn't it?

Sy: Yes, I do believe an 8 foot peener could slice a woman in half. But whatta way to go.
Oh. sorry.

Heh heh.

Mars said...

Hey thanks for that I just had chinese buffet for lunch!

Anonymous said...

you think thats bad?
a tapir's penis is about the length of his body. As is a slug's although the female will bite it down to the correct size to fit her. o.0

Kelly said...

What is a Tapir? I don't think I've heard of such an animal.

By the way.... that sounds like it would hurt.

Anonymous said...

Dear lord.
The is one large Dolphin dick.

Jason Sutego said...

lolz wow...ima have to go with being glad im not a slug...though having two cock doesnt sound half bad..albiet a little weird but it would definately make things interesting

LilPixi said...

Wow........ and who are these people? LOL

Pickleope said...

Ew ew ew gross...Why am I aroused? That, by the way, is why whales have blowholes, so that monstrosity can pop out somewhere other than the mouth during underwater reverse snorkeling.

Kelly said...

LilPixi- Wow, indeed. Are you asking who the people are in the pics or in the comments here? That guy holding the whale dick is about to take his pants off and ride it like a flagpole at SeaWorld.

Kelly said...

Pickleope- Oh, it's not gross. It's just nature. Isn't nature grand and not in the least bit disturbing. Lol. I think your whale blowhole theory is a good one. Have you even seen someone using a whale dick to reverse snorkle with? That would make the cover of National Geographic, I'd think.

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