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Saturday, June 23, 2012

Asmodeus' Astounding Circus (The Final Chapter)

Ah yes, long time, no see, everyone.  But I'm here now, for the moment, to delight and enthrall you all with the long overdue ending to a short series about a circus.  If you haven't read any of the installments or even if you need to re-read these fine, literary masterpieces once again to jog your memory on the storyline and characters...  Here are the following links to help you out in making even the slightest sense of past and present events and be entertained as all get out.  Woo hoo!

Auditions For The Circus

Second Round of Auditions For The Circus

Ringmaster Gregario excitedly went up to the circus ticket booth and asked, "So how many tickets have we sold for the big show?"

There was a line of adults and kids, eagerly waiting to step inside the big circus tent and be seated.

Trixie, who had before been a bubbly, beautiful blonde college girl went through a transformation, of sorts, after the circus owner, Asmodeus, escorted her away after her audition, many months ago and took the twenty something year old back to his own private mansion.

Being a demon (a fairly horny one, at that), Asmodeus had mesmerized Trixie with his charm and evil influence to seduce the giddy blonde.  Soon, Trixie found herself taking off her clothes, revealing her perky breasts and shaven pussy.  The demon circus owner took Trixie by the hand and easily grabbed her with one  powerful arm and tossed her on the bed.  For three nights straight, they fucked without a break.  The experiences Trixie endured caused her to almost lose her mind, completely.

Answering Gregario's question, Trixie slowly looked up from where she sat and said, with slow deliberation and with menace in her tone, "The fuckers just keep coming to see the show."

Trixie giggled slightly, seeming to change in her mood, grabbing a big wad of cash and sales receipts from her cash drawer and thrust it up towards the ringmaster's face.

"See?" Trixie asked.

Gregario nodded approvingly at what he saw before Trixie. Without warning, Trixie viciously grabbed Asmodeus' most trusted assistant by the crotch of his black pants with her free hand.

"AHHH!" screamed Gregario, quickly backing away from the ticket booth and Trixie's grasp.

Several customers looked where the scream had come from.  This got the attention of a pack of red eyed wolves.  Asmodeus' personal pets looked up from the half eaten human skull they had been gnawing on and growled toward the attendees.  Gonza, the large muscle-bound Head of Security came out of the side of the tent and confronted the customers.

"We have a problem here?" asked Gonza, threateningly.

The customers shook their heads, showing they had no problems, but were still very obviously shaking with fear.

An hour later, everyone was allowed to go into Asmodeus' Astounding Circus and take their seats.

A troupe of clown midgets entered from a hidden side room, in a multi-colored vehicle, with a pentagram sign on every side of the car.  The car stopped in the center of the stage.  One of the car doors opened.  Soon, The infamous Blutarsky Brothers came tumbling out.  All of them had bulbous heads, had extreme toe fungus and were mentally impaired.  The crowd let out various sounds of surprise.

Ringmaster Gregario walked up to the center stage, in front of the family of disheveled clown midgets and cried out, into his microphone, "Ladies, gentleman and children of all ages, it gives me a special kind of thrill to present to you the most amazing acts you'll ever witness in your lifetimes!"






Gregario waved his hand and pointed to the clown midgets that had painted faces.  Some of them were crossing their eyes and shaking their heads.  One had a permanent smile on his face.  Luscious, the member of the group who had undergone a botched sex change surgery, courtesy of one of "her" brothers and his handy knife, in order to become a man, stepped out in front of his brothers.  Luscious had tiny breasts, thanks to hormone therapy and a couple of sewn upon hairless gopher butt cheeks, but the vagina of the clown midget was far from perfect.

Tension and anticipation filled the air.

Isa, the eldest member joined her son, Luscious, who was dressed in a small, sparkly pink tutu.

The old ringmaster handed Isa, the mother of the 7 performing midgets, the microphone.

Isa announced, "My name is Isa, mother of my Russian babies, the ones you may know as The Blutarsky Brothers.  Tonight, we will show you our talents and you will soon gaze upon us with wonder.  Watch and fill your ugly American hearts with joy!"

With that said, Gonza brought in a handcuffed and shackled blubbery man in a size XXXL sweatsuit.  He was sweating, profusely, and had a collection of bruises upon his face.  Gonza thrust the obese man on his hands and knees.

Ringmaster Gregorio took a flask of whiskey from his back pocket, downed a swig from it and put it back in his pocket before explaining into his microphone, "This man was found to be attempting to sneak into the circus tent without paying."

Gregorio tipped his big black top hat toward the man as the man groaned in pain.

Continuing, Gregorio said, "This man will be given something special for his efforts."

The fat guy whimpered as Isa and Luscious took their places.  Both clown midgets lay on their backs on either side of the trapped man who Gonza securely chained to a metal platform.  Luscious spread open her legs and pulled the bottom of her tutu off, slinging part of the costume to the side.  She had a tattoo of a snake on her cunt lip.  Isa took off her polka-dotted, over-sized clown pants and spread her legs, in unison, with her son.  A few moments passed before Isa's legs rubbed furiously together, creating sparks of fire.  Luscious mimicked her mother's furious leg movements. Meanwhile, a fast moving stream of fire, much like a flamethrower, came shooting out of their cunts as their tiny legs furiously kicked up and down.

In awe, the crowd was spellbound and became perfectly silent as the gluttonous man's head began to catch afire.  He screamed in agony.  Gregorio, Gonza and the rest of the clown midgets laughed, heartily.  In only a few seconds, the man was totally engulfed in flames, shouting for mercy and receiving none.  Soon, his crispy corpse smoldered for a moment before crumpling into a stinking heap of ashen flesh.

Gonza and Gregorio shoveled the victims smoking remains in a nearby metal garbage vat.  What wasn't completely crispy would be fed to the hungry wolves, later.

Nervously, the crowd applauded, fearing what might happen if they did not show satisfaction of the clown midgets' amazing tricks.  One man, however, showed no fear and announced his displeasure.

The man, famous for his many quirky and comedic movie roles, stood up and said, "I don't think that was right."

Gregorio put down his shovel and picked up his microphone. Into his mike, Gregorio inquired, "And who might you be to think yourself capable of judging what's fair and what's not?"

The film actor stated, "Steve Buscemi, that's who."





Gonza quickly retrieved him from the stands.  Buscemi struggled, frantically, and groaned in protest, desperately trying to free himself of Gonza's mighty grip.

Buscemi was chained to the metal platform, begging to be released, promising to give them substantial amounts of money if they let him go.

A clown midget named Jeepo appeared, did a cartwheel in front of the actor and completed an admirable back-flip, flapping his arms like a bird, before coming down head first onto the metal platform and bashing his head in, making a clanging, crunching noise that could be heard from the stands.  A pool of blood gathered on the platform as Jeepo moaned.  One of his clown midget brothers, Trotsky, came out, pulled down his pants and scratched his taint before dragging his injured brother off the stage.




Ivan, another clown midget performer, came running out.  Stretching his arms outward, Ivan stood still and shouted, "Ta-Da!"

Ivan turned around and looked at the chained actor in the middle of the stage.  The clown midget slapped his face, for comic relief and made a tiny "O" with his mouth to appear as if he was surprised at the actor's predicament.

Without hesitation, Ivan pulled his gigantic pecker from his neon green clown pants and pointed it toward Buscemi.

Ringmaster Gregorio asked the audience, "So do ya think Steve is going to have to do some suckin'?"

The audience collectively gasped.  Buscemi's eyes grew wider than they ever had gotten during the filming of his past movies.

Abruptly, Ivan took a firm hold of his meat sword and quickly shot bullets from his pee hole.  Each bullet went through Steve Buscemi's head as if it were made of facial tissue.  Blood and fleshy bits flew everywhere.  In a matter of seconds, there was nothing sitting on the actor's shoulders but a deformed pulp of bloody mush and some bits of skull mixed in.

The wolves rushed in, eyes red and glowing, and ate most of the actor's body, tearing his corpse apart.

Trotsky and another brother, Dragoff, came running out with their tarp.  Some audience members chuckled at the sight of their little legs moving so quickly.  Both brothers threw the tarp on Buscemi's disgusting remains and ran back where they came from, doing the occasional cartwheel, along the way.  Everyone applauded their comical antics.  Trotsky raised his leg and cut a fart so loud and with such force, the back of his  little clown pants exploded.

Unable to resist the current spotlight, Dragoff came back to the center stage and stuck the wooden handle of a bloody shovel up his rectum and balanced himself on it, straight up from the surface.  The sharpened tip of the shovel was embedded into the ground, several inches deep.

Ivan ran out and blared toward the crowd, "Ta-da!" After saying this, the clown midget promptly pissed his pants.

At that point, though, Dragoff sunk downward upon the shovel handle and found himself impaled upon it. Waving his arms like a pinwheel, his arms seemed like they blurred, in motion, to the audience.  Suddenly, Dragoff's colon was busted open by the wooden handle.  It didn't help that Ivan took the opportunity to jump on his back, hoping to share the spotlight.  A moment went by before the handle went all the way through Dragoff's small body and exited out of his mouth before plunging through Ivan's right eye socket.  Both circus performers screamed and tumbled, smashing forward into the hard, unforgiving ground.

Teeth, blood, bits of exploded colon and gore spilled forth in rivers from where they lay, motionless.

A teenager cheered and texted to her friend the act she had just witnessed.  She texted:

OMG!  I JUST SAW TWO CLOWN MIDGETS DIE BEFORE MY EYES.  THEY WERE HILARIOUS!

One audience member clutched his chest, unsure how much more he could take.  His wife, sitting next to him, patted her husband on the back and said, reassuringly, "It's going to be okay, honey.  These people are really multi-talented."

Asmodeus, demon in disguise and the owner of the circus joined Trixie, arm in arm.  Both of them had just made an entrance and took center stage.  Asmodeus noticed the man who was clutching his heart and politely asked, shouting toward him, "Do you feel a pain in your chest, sir?"

The man shook a bit, sweating and then said, "I'll be... fine."

With that, Trixie pulled her arm slowly away from Asmodeus' arm.  Like a frightening wraith, the once pretty, buxom blonde traveled up the bleachers and stood in front of the man who believed that he was about to have a heart attack.

Trixie curled her finger, slowly and beguilingly,until the man felt he should move his face closer to the pale woman's figure.  She was whispering something under her breath.  The man's wife said, "Go ahead, Sweety Pie," she coaxed, "The lady wants to probably show you a neat trick."





The man shuddered and nervously asked, "Are you a magician?"


Trixie lunged forward and stuck her forked tongue deep into the man's mouth, giving him a french kiss from hell.  Despite his extreme fear, the man achieved a sizable erection.  Trixie's long, snake-like tongue roamed around the inside of the man's trembling mouth.

Asmodeus suddenly ran up to the man, the wife and Trixie and then declared, "You're openly flirting with my woman!  How dare thee!"

Horns sprouted from Asmodeus' head and he quickly transformed into his real identity. The frightening form of a demon stood before the aroused husband.  Asmodeus' eyes glowed, red and fiery.  The demon circus owner clutched the man's neck and thrust upward, popping the victim's head off from his body like the cork of a champaign bottle.

The head bounced from one bleacher seat onto the next until it finally plopped in a young woman's nachos and cheese.  She was sitting in the front row, way down below.  Nachos and cheese flew everywhere.  Melted cheese and human blood splattered against her shirt.  Instead of wondering about or doing anything about the mess or the decapitated head, she immediately took an electronic device from her handbag and texted her friend about how a human head landed, suddenly, in her nachos and cheese and how hard it would be to get the stains out of her shirt.

Meanwhile, Asmodeus was still enraged about Trixie's transgression against him.  Instead of taking his anger out on her, however, he killed the man who had recently had a forked tongue dive into his mouth.   Asmodeus' big red arms steamed.  The arms of the demon rose above his head and the sides of the tent began to catch on fire.  Everyone screamed, panicked and attempted to escape.

Suddenly the wolves with red glowing eyes and bared fangs came pouring into the tent again and began dispatching each circus attendee, who made it to the floor, with joyful and hungry abandon.  Flesh, tattered clothes, phone gadgets, and lakes of blood could be found everywhere inside the tent.

Very few people got out alive that day and Asmodeus' Astounding Circus closed down for several months, disappearing without a trace, until it suddenly sprung up again in jolly old England.

Needless to say, the circus proved to be more popular than the Queen's Diamond Jubilee and the Summer Olympics being held in London, combined.

Asmodeus and Trixie are married now in unholy matrimony.  And Trixie is constantly having to remind Asmodeus, every night, to take out the garbage.  Gosh!

But that's another story.  

18 comments:

KimT said...

Needless to say...but of course, if it's in jolly ol' England now! Well, I'm so glad I read this, the question of where the devil the circus had gone to has been burning in my mind for some time now.
Quite a story this is that's for sure. Shame about those who didn't make it out - but hey, they sure were entertained in their final moments, eh?

Pickleope said...

Two flaws I saw in this: Even a demon wouldn't fuck anyone from a circus or a carnie, the only ass a circus person ever sees is from a donkey (they also don't know what the internet is). Second, Steve Buscemi is a demon and cannot die. If Steve Buscemi really died, I wouldn't know what to do, my universal truth would be shaken, kind of like if Natalie Portman didn't have fucked up eyebrows.

Kelly said...

Hi Kim, the question of the burning devil in a circus has been solved. Rejoice and let thy be gladdened. the moral of this story, I suppose, is always have your texting device available to report any burning people- but to heck with helping them out. :)

Glad you enjoyed the story. Yeah, that's a darn shame about those who didn't make it out. I'd like to think they felt they got their money's worth before the wolves and the midgets got to them. lol.

Kelly said...

Circus and carnie pieces of ass is sweet pickins from what I hear, That demon gave it to sweet lil ol', big boobied ditzy Trixie with all the gusto a demon can give. Don't give the carnies and sideshow freaks a bad name! Sure, they might not dress up or wash their nuggets and gashes everyday, but heck, they're still good folk. :)

Natalie Portman's eyebrows have a life of their own. I see them jumping off her head and terrorizing people like dismembered crawling hands (like Thing from the Addams Family).

bazza said...

Hi Kezza. I don't know who is craziest; you or the other commenters. Excluding me, of course. It seems like you are living in your own private hell!
Click here for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

Dixie@dcrelief said...

Hiya Kelly. Effing A... what a story! Hard to believe I read it all and didn't suffer a heart attack myself. Great stuff though and in the right medium it would sell. You got some more talent!!

klahanie said...

Okay man, I can see, based on reading and reading and realising that once again, you have enthralled, delighted and made even the most questionable of characters, snort a chuckle. Snort a chuckle? I have no idea what that means.
"Needless to say, the circus proved to be more popular than the Queen's Diamond Jubilee and the Summer Olympics being held in London, combined."
I can totally understand that!
I've heard a rumour that your a bit of a "'ring'master", yourself, Gregorio Kelly. Especially, after a spicy meal and the ensuing ring of fire.
Cheerio n' stuff. Your fartstruck, sorry, your starstruck fan! :)

Static said...

That was amazing. I'm not quite sure what I just witnessed, but I think it was the stuff dreams are made of.

We really could use their talents here...any chance that they'll come back to the states soon?

That Buscemi has a way of showing up at the oddest times & places. I'm glad he finally got what he deserved. :)

And Trixie wouldn't have to nag Assmodeus if he just did what was expected of him. :P

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Sent from my Android powered device somewhere between lorem ipsum and dolorem ipsum

Kelly said...

Who knows, Bazza? I'm just now replying to comments after a long week of getting sunburned until my nipples started to sizzle and trying to make my new kitten behave herself. In other words, not claw my bright red flesh.

Actually, besides the bad sunburn from the 90 to 100 degree weather and our new addition to the family, things are going pretty well. I hope the same for you, Bazza.

Kelly said...

Hiya back, Dixie. I'm afraid I haven't been a very diligent blogger. Glad you enjoyed the story. I've been giving serious thought to writing a book- for real, this time. I've written short stories in the past but I want to take time off in the near future from blogging and facebooking and see if I can do it. Then try to get it published.

I've had this plot for a story rattling around in my head for quite some time. Nothing like what I've posted here. I have written other types of stories on other blogs, though. Take care, Dixie. Hope you're having a great weekend!

Kelly said...

Hi Gary. I haven't forgotten about ya. :) 'Snort a chuckle?" Sounds dangerous. Is that like when you try to stifle a sneeze and instead fart and shit your pants?

I'm delighted as hell that you got that "Gregorio" part of the story- I sort of put myself into the story. Not the first time I've done that. I did have a ring of fire around my toot hole but I quickly extinguished it with midget spit. Don't ask!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, dude. See ya on FB... probably later. I think I'm going to take some time off to go on a blog tour so people know I'm still kicking in the magical world of blogging. Cheerios and wheat flakes, Gary. And don't forget the fiber cereal, either. It hardens your turds.

Kelly said...

What you just read are the dreams that pixies, unicorns and faeries have. If I hear anything from my good friend Asmodeus about coming back to the states, you'll be the first to know. I might even convince him to have the circus put on a private show for you and your friends. Don't forget to bring the marshmallows!

Buscemi showed up at a lot of things he shouldn't have before getting fried. To name a few events he showed up at, unannounced:

Random baby circumcisions
On the set of a porn movie
A river full of piranhas
A Tea Party meeting
Bridal showers
and Orgies (trannies only)

'Assmodeus?' Uh oh... Asmoldeus is going to get all funky on you for misspelling his name like that. Asmodeeass might wrap his fiery buttocks around your head and make you burst into flames. Don't worry, though. I have enough gasoline to put out the fire.

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Sent from my computer. :)

Gorilla Bananas said...

I'm glad I've retired from the circus and don't have to worry about suing your ass for spreading black fantasies about our business. I was disappointed in Steve Buscemi being such a pussy instead of behaving like 'Mr Shush' in Things to do in Denver when you're dead.

Dixie@dcrelief said...

Happy fourth, you!

Kelly said...

Gosh, Gorilla, I'm really thanking my lucky stars that you've retired from the circus and not suing my ass, either. But the story is all true- no black fantasy- or even a purple one, with crazy yellow smiley faces. I was there as Ringmaster Gregorio. Sorry, too, about Mr. Buscemi acting like a pussy. But, at least, you now have the pleasure of knowing that he was dispatched out of this lifetime without a morsel of mercy. :)

Well, I'll be off to London pretty soon. Hope to see you at the circus. Ta-ta!

Kelly said...

Happy Independence Day to you, my good friend, Dixie. Be careful with any fireworks you may light off or bear witness to. Safety first, after all!

unikorna said...

Impressing blog, impressing words my dear gentleman. I do share your need to keep away from people...I am a very solitary person myself, it helps me love them more :). Kisses.

Kelly said...

Thanks, unikorna. I appreciate your comment and compliments. And I can understand the sentiment or idea, rather, of being a solitary person. I'm usually that way with the idiots of the world, the ultra-sensitive or the very narrow-minded.

I also know what you mean by 'it helps me love them more' part of your comment. :) Sometimes, I get away from people so I can tolerate them when I go back to being in their vicinity. Take very good care.

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