This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

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Monday, May 7, 2012

Cool Air Has Inspired and Enthralled

The taint is dry.  My brow is sweat-free.  I can actually walk around in something besides my Cousin Eddie outfits.


Happy to report:  The main AC unit has been officially repaired and installed in the wall.  Before that, the temperatures ran around 80 degrees F. in the apartment.  When the area around us wasn't getting pounded by thunderstorms and 40-60 mph wind gusts and hailstones, the temperatures rose to record numbers this time of year.  Not even summer yet and it easily would get up to 85 degrees outside.  Most of the time, I walked around in my underwear or boxers and a pair of sandals or black slippers.  Nothing else.  My wife warned me not to go outside, saying that I might get raped in my seductive get up.  Somehow, I didn't believe her.

Watch Cousin Eddie, in action, below, in National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation.  This is likely my least favorite "Vacation" movie of the series but it had it's moments. Methinks Cousin Eddie may suffer some anxiety disorder, at times.  I can't fault him for being a moron, though.  He's the entertaining kind of moron.  God puts 'em on Earth for our entertainment, I think.

Beats being around a boring moron- one like most of us encounter each day, on several occasions. This clip below is not the "shitter was full" scene of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation- but I like this scene.  Everyone and their butt mole has got that one memorized and it has been shown to death.  Hell, it's tradition for us to watch the Christmas one each year.  I still get a boner when the girl in the red bathing suit is on the diving board of the fantasy pool.  My wife ruins my mood by saying that when she flips her suit up in the air with her foot, she is cutting a pussy fart at the same time.



I also slap myself on my head to recall things.

Now I can come into this room, play games, make witty as heck comments on blogs and entertain myself by spouting off words of wisdom.  By the way, I saw the mentally challenged man again at the park.  He was still mumbling, frequently waving his arms up and down and made quacking noises.  He paced back and forth, every so often shouting, "Gimbiddy Goobey Blaaarghh!"

The mother or caretaker of this person was looking at the picnic table she was sitting at, perhaps thinking of a creamy fudge bar or slitting her own throat.  I know it's hard for people to take care of people when they're mentally challenged.  I feel for them as much or more than the mentally retarded folks they take care of- they're like the unspoken heroes and people don't say enough good about them.

At least, he, the dude I was just yakkin' about, wasn't like this other asshole in the park.  This old guy, The Curmudgeon, I call him. He was all stretched out underneath a shelter, sweating profusely, red in the face, swiggin' out of his bottle of whatever like he was thirsty or something.  :)  Anyway, he, of course, makes one of his negative remarks about how the weather is.  He doesn't miss a chance, whenever we pass each other in the park, while walking, to say how crappy the weather is or if it is a nice day, he'll say, for example "Gee, it almost feels decent today."



After he says something that I don't really feel like fully absorbing in my brain because I know how his mind works, partially, I ask him, nicely, if he is okay.  No sarcasm to my tone, whatsoever.  He breathes in, sort of okay, but his breathing is a bit ragged.  Based on this and his appearance, I had asked if he was okay.  If he needed any assistance.  Ever since I've had earlier dramatic incidents, this year, of people collapsing in front of me or onto me, in my arms, I'm a little anxious.  I'm ready to call 911 on his crazy, obnoxious, old ass.

But he says that he's okay and I walk on my usual path.  Apparently, he was "okay" because I saw him walking again.  I tried to say hello to him and get him to stop, briefly, to ask how he was but he ignored me and made sure I knew he was doing it on purpose.

I thought he was being silly, vain and stupid.  So I laughed each time as distance separated us when we walked in opposite directions.  The next day, he must have known he looked like an ass because of his attitude because he immediately engaged me in a conversation about trips he and his wife have taken to Hawaii and other locations.  At least, he isn't a total turd.

When people start conveying personal info, it's usually easier for me and quite a few people, I notice, to warm up to them.  They seem more human.  That's the lesson I take from it during my experiences of these kind.  People play odd games.  I like the straightforward, honest approach.  Why be something you're not?  Don't fear!  Show yourself-- flaws, talents, interests and all.

By the way, my neighbor, across the street, has a dozen flags in his yard.  Big flagpoles with American flags in his small yard. I don't know why he has them there.  Memorial Day is quite a long time from now.  I took a picture of his front yard-in case he kills me later on.  He reminds me of the Bruce Dern character of the movie "The Burbs."  The neighbor across the road from us is always sitting in his lawn chair in his open garage, watching the movements of all in the neighborhood.

  

18 comments:

Kim said...

Very good point about how people have an easier time warming up to someone if they open up about personal stories. And I, too, prefer honesty and straight-forward talk. Really can't stand when people do the double-speak, straddling the fence and all. Very, very happy for you that the AC is fixed, and you can finally cool off!

The Angry Lurker said...

I only have A/C at work but then again it has been raining for months, nice vids as they brought back some good memories!

Pickleope said...

Well, now that scene in Christmas Vacation is ruined for me too...but did add a level of hilarity. Thanks to your wife for that. If only potential employers were so kind as to accept me as me, but alas they are not, so the shroud of the pickleope remains.
Glad you have some a/c, man's greatest invention.
A dozen flags? Of what? Are they all American flags or is there a state flag, Boy Scouts flag, flag to celebrate flags? Good move taking a picture.

billy pilgrim said...

yeah, cousin eddie is a canadian now. he claimed refugee status but that was denied and he got in because his wife had some canadian roots. that's why your country is in the shitter right now, all the real smart guys are coming to canada.

Kelly said...

Yeah, Kim, that's how I feel about it when you're trying to communicate with people. If you're doing it by being so distant, you won't reveal even one thing about yourself, wherever, it makes you feel as if this person is building up a wall of steel between you and them or they're really paranoid. I usually stop attempting to meaningfully communicate with people who do either of those things and I feel like they should make their lives more open or better by seeing a therapist about their problem. And to me, that would be considered a real problem.

I agree with you on straight talk and honesty, too. Life's too short and being dishonest or deceiving is stupid in the end. For all concerned. Yay! The AC is fixed and now I can spend more time on the computer without having a heatstroke. :) Always a good thing.

Kelly said...

When I was working at those factories and warehouses for 15 years, we didn't have AC, either. We would work, sweat and every once in awhile, if you were lucky, somebody would turn a big fan your way and blow hot dusty air on you "for relief." It's a shitty combo here of high temperatures and thunderstorms here. Just plain rain sound good about now. I'm glad you enjoyed the vids. Take care!

Kelly said...

Pickleope- Every time I say a girl looks hot on TV or just merely stare at the
TV, with my eyes bugged out, at the sight of a hot chick in a thong, my wife will ruin the moment by saying she probably hasn't washed her pussy for weeks and she has a build of "cheese pussy" or she's a non-stop pussy farter.

Maybe that's why I was never fully accepted from my supervisors where I worked. I just acted pretty much like myself. But then, I didn't care what they thought though. I just did my work well and went home. I figured that should speak for itself. I still had my dignity and was honest. Some of the others pretended to be something else and it usually wasn't all that great- for anyone involved. Yeah, the AC is great. It's nice to not have a sweaty crack.

The neighbor did have a dozen six foot high American flags on his small property. He took them down... again at night... last night- so I still don't know what the story is with that. Maybe it's best I don't. In any case, I put the pic on Facebook. People thought he was marking dead bodies, perhaps.

Kelly said...

Yeah, I heard Randy Quaid and his wife had fled to Canada and was able to stay there after some haggling or something. I didn't know the details about his wife and how she was able to keep them there.

Pretty soon, everyone's countries will be in the shitter. It will be a worldwide economic collapse.

I think I'd like to go to Canada for the healthcare system, beer and scenery. And hey, all the actors and comedians from Canada come to America because they want to live the lifestyle of a Hollywood celebrity. Lol.

klahanie said...

Hey Kelly,
I reckon you might just be moving to Canada eh.
You know buddy, it's good to talk, find out about others and not assume they are a certain way, based on the way the look or act. What I like about you is your open mind and engaging in some personal conversation can often 'break the ice'.
An AC unit in my house would be the stuff of dreams. Heck, we are in a 'drought', it's cold and miserable here. And during this drought, we just had the wettest April on record.
I've seen that picture on Farcebook where you it shows all that dude's flagpoles. Your neighbour seems like a fascinating character as he is your very own neighbourhood watch. Gosh and gosh bless America :)
Take care.

Kelly said...

klahanie/Gary- Yep. Coming up to Canada in a couple days. I'll be at your doorstep, bangin' on the door and making a scene. Neighbors might see me and gawk. I'll just turn around and bare my hairy butt to them. Might do the wild thing with your garden gnomes and get them all warm and sticky, too. You never can tell.

But, seriously, thanks for the compliments. It's no secret that I found out the hard way, years ago, that deception and keeping things from yourself or others is trivial, silly and in the end, it only hurts everyone in the long run- so why play that game?

So you're having your own bout of weird weather conditions, eh? Or are they just more extreme than usual for this time of year? You've had your weetest April on record and we've had our hottest January through April. It only snowed one time during the winter. Global warming, folks. No denying it.

That due took down his flagpoles, at night, last night. I wonder if it's because his own neighbors were giving him a hard time about it, making the rest of the normal neighborhood properties look ridiculous. I really didn't care, but, it was a curiosity. What aggravates me about the guy is that he won't park his 3 vehicles in his own wide open driveway or garage. He parks them out on the road and cause people to go to great lengths to get around them. Plus, he won't stop staring at people. Maybe he gets a boner by watching people. I don't know. Can't judge him but he does make trouble by not parking his trucks in the driveway. I'd like to shove a big flagpole up his butt. Not my own meaty flagpole, either. :) Take care, man. See you at your site.

GEM said...

If we were all the same life would be so dull. It's the weird wacky folk that brighten up the world. Mind you I try to avoid contact with other people in the park here in case they start speaking to me and I don't understand them. I then have to smile apologetically and explain that I'm English and only know a little Russian etc etc. This seems to get rid of them quite quickly :)We seem to have our fair share of weird folk and drunken bums here and they're just the ones on their way to work! I've just had a thought.....maybe people see me the same way??? :/

Take Care

GEM

bazza said...

I have a weakness concerning any film that stars Chevy Chase - I think he is the UNfunniest ever equal with Adam Sandler!
However, I'm glad you are chillin' out!
Click here for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

Dixie said...

Oh, i have to agree with bazza on Chevy. However I thought your point of interest was Cousin Eddie :)
My favorite Bruce Dern film is Silent Running.

I don't do too many parks, although there's one about two minutes from my house. I have an acre plus, so walking around the old homestead is enough to get me in trouble; fell recently - broke the ball of the shoulder joint - ouch. So if I missed something in your post - well- good pain meds, man. I hate flags.

Well, Kelly, all this talk of dry cracks has made me hungry; gotta have some potato chips. Later, and be well.

Kelly said...

I agree, GEM. It would be dull. I would also say that there's plenty of dull people in the world that I don't understand, as well. My eyes tend to glaze over when somebody starts talking to me about sports, for instance, or something equally mundane or uninteresting.

I feel for you in your situation. I can see why you feel the way you do over there, in what to me, would be a very alien land with very alien people. Like you, I would still try to get to know them, though. It would be nice if they tried a little harder to learn your language as much as you're trying to learn theirs.

And I'm sure what you say does get rid of them quickly. :)

I think people see what they want to see. I think there's also people who just sit back and observe and make a decision on what they see- later. Take care of yourself over there.

Kelly said...

Oh well, bazza. Different strokes for different folks- as the old saying goes. Chevy Chase and Adam Sandler are funny to me, at times, depending on the movie. My post was more about Cousin Eddie, anyway, plus a lot more, in that series of "Vacation" movies.

The post was also about the couple of people in the park I've interacted with and their odd behavior. Thanks for being glad I'm chilling out. The AC is certainly helping with that aspect. :) Take care, Bazza.

Kelly said...

Yes Dixie, my point of interest was with Cousin Eddie. :) And Silent Running was a great movie, on many levels.

Well, as long as you have a place to walk outside and get some fresh air- even though you recently fell and hurt yourself- I guess it's good, right? I'm sorry to hear you fell and broke the ball on your shoulder joint. Sounds painful. Hope those pain meds are helping you out. Don't worry if you didn't comment on every detail in the post. :) I'm not much of a flag lover, either. I do like comfortable, affordable shoes, however.

Talk of dry cracks? Wow. You must be on the really good pain meds. lol. Hope you enjoyed the chips. Try the dip! It's swell, too. Take care, Dixie.

Anonymous said...

I laughed til I cried at the "Burbs" clip! I hadn't seen it for so long I had forgotten how funny Bruce Dern was in that movie. - Auntie

Kelly said...

Yeah, I love that movie with crazy Bruce in it. He play "crazy" well. Too bad his actress daughter, Laura, isn't as crazy. She would be halfway entertaining, if she were.

I bet I've seen that movie a couple dozen times over the years.

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