Characters We Encounter On The Internet and Beyond

When I say the word "characters" in the post title here, I'm thinking of it in two different perspectives. The first being that the character is a living, breathing person you will meet on the internet or in real life. The second perspective is much deeper in that the character is something, a persona, if you will, someone portrays and maybe even pretends to be on the internet and in real life.

Of course, there are those whose character, or mask that the character wears that comes pretty close to who they really are inside. I personally don't believe everyone is able to mirror exactly who they are inside with what they show on the outside. No one can be completely transparent and, in truth, I believe each person will act at least a tiny bit differently from who they are or how they feel according to where or who they are with at the time- whether it's on the internet or in real life. Even sweet and adorable me is like this. It's just human nature. No harsh judgments are to be presumed or assumed here, necessarily.

Still with me so far? Hahaha. Yes, this will be one of my more serious posts- sort of. Don't run away! Be brave, soldier! You've got the guts and the stamina... or something. :)

I'm going to describe some of the following characters that we encounter, time to time, on the internet and in real life. Some rub us the wrong way. Some inspire us and make us happy. And then others, well, you get the picture... perhaps. :) While describing these characters, you could also interpret these "characters" as not really characters, really, but qualities that people have or don't have. It's all in how you interpret it... all a matter of perception.

Ready for the ride? Buckle up. In no particular order, I present to you...

Grammar and Punctuation Nazi

This irritating piece of shit will delight in showing you the errors of your grammatical ways to instill in themselves a sense of self-importance. You normally encounter these assholes on the internet in the forums, social networking sites, blogs and more. As long as everyone can understand each other, I encourage the Grammar and Punctuation Nazis to go fuck themselves with their over-inflated, dildo-shaped egos so far up their colons, that they cause ruptures, internal bleeding and painfully hemorrhage to death while gloating about where the semi-colon should be placed.

Supporters

These characters of which I'm talking about are the type of folks that will encourage you to do something positive in your life, whether it's in your attitude toward a problem or a course in life you may wish to give some thought toward. They're also beneficial in consoling you with words and/or actions in order to make you feel better during difficult times. These kind folks are truly the precious gems and great finds amongst the piles of living, breathing shits that surround us in real life and on the internet. Kudos to the Supporters!

Missing The Point Prick

This person or character will purposefully or not purposefully miss the point you are trying to make in a blog post or in a real life discussion. He or she will usually pick one teeny bit or particle of something you've said that really didn't have that much to do with the point you were trying to make, overall, and then proceed to create an entire debate, diatribe or whatever over that one insignificant word or phrase. The "Missing The Point Prick" is closely related, in many aspects, to Devil's Advocate, who I will get to in a few seconds.

Passionate, Direct and Honest People

As I grow older in life, I've noticed there are less and less of these types existing these days. Passion has been replaced by true or false statistics or what is fed to us by corporations, governments, some college courses, books or people we sometimes blindly follow without question. Being direct and honest is covered with outright lies, heavy blankets of sometimes deceptive subtlety and the continuous fear that we shouldn't make waves because it will make certain supervisors, family members, friends, characters you interact with on the internet and more either uncomfortable or angry. I applaud those who are brave enough and passionate enough to be direct and say the truth about things how they really are. Life is too short for bullshit and we already have a surplus in that. Kudos to the PD and H people out there!

Trolls, Spammers and Link Droppers

Kill them all.

Positive Informers

These good folks will actually supply people with information and/or points of view that either benefits others or entertains them in some way. Humor bloggers, history bloggers and a whole variety of bloggers fit into this category- not that I'm trying to fit anyone into a particular category. There are some folks, like me, who are able to write about anything. Blessed are the versatile writers- for they know no limits to their capabilities and will not be pushed around by those who say you must, for the sake of gaining followers or hits, stick with one genre or another! Hip Fucking Hip Hip Hooray! Excuse me while I shrug off my over-inflated ego and high-in-the-sky soapbox. Heh heh. God, I'm such a delightful sarcastic bastard! Or so I believe.

Perceptions... perceptions.

Of course, you can find Positive Informers in real life, too. Moving onward...

Devil's Advocate

One who continuously argues against a cause, position or point of view of another human being on every subject, not as a committed opponent but simply for the sake of argument and/or to feed their own ego. In other words, that's how they get their twisted jollies. Even if they believe they may be wrong, deep down inside, they will try to make you feel that you are wrong or worse yet, somehow inferior. Sick.

Studying this person for a time, you will eventually come to the conclusion that this motherfucker has some form of unchecked mental illness churning about in their diseased minds. Insecurity, depression and other factors within these people may instigate or spur on this type of behavior that causes most normal, rational people to want to stay the hell away from them. Often, the Devil's Advocate will be unable to keep friends, spouses and others they interact with around for very long until the asshole (the Devil's Advocate) is bludgeoned to the point of making them a disgusting paste on the wall or ground. Do I advocate the use of violence against these annoying cretins of society? You betcha! No therapy for you, fuckwad!

Which brings us to...

Truly Open Minded People

Good golly, but I love truly open minded people. They're able to see many different points of views and angles on as many controversial subjects. They normally don't take themselves so seriously to the point where they believe themselves to be 100 percent correct all the time. All hail the open minded- for they are the truth seekers of this world! They don't give a shit about being contrary or right but, instead, search for meaning and knowledge from other individuals and in all things.

Uptights

Uptights display tense, repressed nervousness, pettiness, anal retentative behavior, irritability, anger and/or the inability to withstand even the slightest of what they consider to be foul language or naughty words or the images of sex organs of the natural human anatomy. For example: They may announce, while visiting an art museum, " Oh my! I do declare! I believe I'm going to faint at the sight of this statue's stone penis or this painting's suggestive phallic symbol." Or some such nonsense.

I consider them weak and attempt to avoid them whenever possible. If you barricade me in a locked windowless room with an Uptight for any longer than a day, I will go crazy and twist their head right off their freakin' neck even as they complain that I said the word, damn, only an hour ago.

Often, Uptights are unable to give expression to one's feelings or personality. This is most noticeable in their unwillingness or incapability to laugh at a crude joke. Or what they think is a crude joke. They also tend to stubbornly adhere to rules that have been laid down to them or rules that they, themselves, have given themselves to instill an odd sense of complete control. Many times, they will inflict these rules of behavior upon those around them- Coworkers, friends, family, individuals on the internet and so on. Uptights may see themselves as the Masters of Organized Living while others may see them as Ultimate Pains in The Asses.

So there you have it. These are just a handful of the characters that we meet on the internet and in our real daily lives. Who knows? You may act like any one or a combination of these characters in a given situation or you may live like this all the time. Personally, I believe a little introspection is good for the spirit and the mind for continuous growth and discovery. It is something of value and worth considering.