Titillating Tales of WalMart

My wife has worked at WalMart for over 15 years and has seen the strangest and worst behavior from customers, employees (they call 'em "associates"- in order to make their employees feel more important, I think) and managers. I, myself, worked there for close to 3 years, at one point working with my wife at the same period of time, on 3rd shift. My wife now works on 1st shift.

In the past, on this blog, I've written about my own personal stories (don't ask on which post- I couldn't tell you) about some of the odd happenings at WalMart I experienced and the other night, while having my friend up, we got on the subject of the fucked up people we've encountered or heard about during our "working" life on the job. We discussed some of these hilarious, disturbing stories at length.

The following incidents are my wife's stories that took place while she has been working at WalMart:

Lady On The Prowl

One evening a woman came into WalMart, wearing only a flimsy, nearly transparent, red negligee and high heel shoes. Up and down the aisles, she walked, shaking her hips. She wasn't pushing a cart so the employees knew she likely wasn't shopping for anything WalMart had on their shelves. It was concluded that she was probably attempting to shop for a girl or guy to fuck.

Personally, I think WalMart would be a piss poor choice to go looking for love (lust), unless you want to "get busy" with a hillbilly or whatever. Either way, I think she was either out of her mind or on drugs or drunk. Not long after the cameras caught her struttin' her stuff and everyone else noticed her, that management called the cops and they escorted her out of the store.

Returned Items

A woman once bought a carpet shampooer, used it once and then brought back in the next day to the Customer Service desk. It wasn't broken, according to her. She just didn't want it. You could tell it had been used because the water/waste tank was full of dirty water and cat hair. WalMart took it back, oddly enough.

Another woman bought a Christmas tree a couple days before Christmas. The day after Christmas, she brought it back to Customer Service. It still had tinsel on it that she had put on. WalMart took that back, too. Hundreds of pairs of shoes have been brought back, sometimes four or five months after they had been bought, to the store. Many times they were dirty and some of the tread had been worn off. Of course, WalMart takes them back and puts all returned items in the Claims Department.

The worst stuff returned would be panties and underwear neatly folded and put back into the original packaging. It's apparent the undergarments have been used because the little bags they are in have been opened and- worse yet- plenty of dark brown skid marks have been found on them, later.

But the very worst time something was returned has to be during "The Big Summer Sausage Log Incident". A lady (although I'm not sure she could be described that way) came into WalMart, wishing to return a huge roll of summer sausage. She claimed she had a problem with it because it had "leaked meat juice" in her bed. The associates behind the Customer Service desk were shocked to see that the plastic wrapping on the 16 inch meat log had been peeled halfway down and it was covered with pubic hair. I jokingly asked if somebody suddenly grabbed it from her and started lickin' it like a lollipop. Anyway, management was called to the front of Customer Service about the sticky meat log and, sure enough, they took it back and refunded her money. All true, I'm afraid. I wonder if they put if back on the shelf with new wrapping. :)

Associates, Management and Customers Having Sex

Throughout the years, employees, customers and members of management have been caught having sex back in inventory rooms, men's handicap bathroom stalls, outside in the parking lot, beneath the light posts and even the dairy cooler. When they've been caught, they will sometimes stop fucking and fooling around. Sometimes, they won't.

Lingerie Department Episode

A crowd was found surrounding and staring in awe at a man on the floor in the women's lingerie department. He was fondling and sniffing a pair of new, unused, lacy panties with his one hand while vigorously pumping his one-eyed trouser snake with the other. The associates and management were called to the scene. A member of management called the police and they were on their way. Even as the man was told the cops were on the way, he wouldn't stop wanking his willy while sniffing the panties and so on. Even as the cops were about to put the handcuffs on the guy, he continued to jerk off, smiling the entire time.

No word on whether he was able to spurt his load before the cops got there.

Buzzing Noise

As you could probably guess by the title of this particular episode, it involves a vibrator.

A woman could be heard using a vibrator on herself in one of the women's fitting rooms in the clothing department at WalMart. The employees could hear a buzzing noise emanating from the small room and could see a pair of feet underneath the door. After demanding that the customer open the door and come out, she refused and continued masturbating. Finally, after a half hour, management told one of the employees to open the door. When they did, they saw a woman with her pants and panties down around her ankles. At that point, she finally stopped sliding the vibrator in and out of her pussy. She pulled it out and it was dripping, literally, all over the fitting room floor, according to the employees.

The police were called and she was taken away.

So yes, if you're looking for some of the world's finest freaks, you can find them at Wallyworld, folks. I hope you enjoyed the titillating tales as much as I have over the years. My wife and I continue to be astonished by the outrageous behavior people will engage in, in a public place such as this. Happy shopping, everyone!