Doesn't It Piss You Off When...

.... people don't give you a straight answer?

.... people want you to drop whatever the hell you're doing to do something with them?

.... people drop in, without calling first?

.... people cut in line in front of you?

.... people talk incessantly about the Royal Wedding, President Obama, a celebrity or something else that people get tired of hearing about?

I just thought I'd bring this awfully important stuff up because I really don't have anything else to post about today. You can complain if you want but I'll probably just sit here, laugh, scratch my ass or check out those important status updates that people delight in putting on Fartbook that are so riveting and uplifting and stuff. Hell, I might even make myself a cup of coffee, look at the non-stop pouring rain outside my window or yell something to my wife who is sitting about two rooms away and then she'll yell back, "What?! I can't hear you?! Come in here if you want to talk to me?!"

Then I'll yell back, "Wait a minute! I couldn't hear exactly what you said! I've got the music on too loud in here! Maybe if I come in the room where you're at, I'll be able to hear you better!"

She'll scream back, "Whaaaaaat!?"

Then I'll get up from the chair, here, grab my coffee off the desk and walk into the room, sit down and try to talk to the wife while she's watching a previously recorded daytime talk show and become so bored with what I'm seeing that I begin to drool, nod off and go to sleep. This is when the cat will suddenly jump into my lap, causing the cup of piping hot coffee to spill onto my crotch. Of course, I'll scream like a maniac, which in turn, will piss off my wife.

She'll shout, "Why don't you go back in the other room if you're going to make all this racket! I'm trying to catch up on "Ellen" (or it could be "The View") and you won't stop screaming over a little hot coffee splashed over your nuts!"

So... after I wipe the coffee off of my burnt nutsack, the chair and the floor, I'll come back in here and start typing out something profound for a post- you know... something like this.

Thanks. You've been a great audience. In case I don't say it tomorrow... HAPPY EASTER, EVERYONE.