Strange Ads and Products of Yesteryear

Fascinated with old advertisements and inventions of the last hundred years, I've been collecting these images and some of the stories behind them.  Prepared to be educated and thrilled with this post of posts.  Enjoy!

Sometime in the 1950's or 1960's (I can't be bothered with finding details or facts, of course), The Del Monte company came to a curious conclusion after testing a dozen women for three years in a locked room and with nearly no outside visitations except for the company's researchers.  While using cattle prods, scientists encouraged the women that stood along a moving conveyor belt of ketchup bottles, to open the containers of tomato-y goodness with their hands and fingers.

Surprised that women had the same incredible capability of a man to open a ketchup bottle time after time, researchers concluded after the intensive study, that women could open stuff.  The scientific community would never be the same again.

While opening a ketchup bottle, the typical woman will have an orgasm.

And they eat it until they orgasm.  A healthy and happy lifestyle- guaranteed.

Back in the 1920's, a team of doctors came up with an exciting new way to keep people fit and trim after the eating of their daily regiment of one large bucket of lard per person, followed by the entire cleanly cleaved head of a hog.  The idea was so simple that one doctor, in particular, whose name was Dr. Hugh Jass, was so ashamed that he didn't think of the miracle cure for obesity before, he decided to punish himself by hammering his penis to a tree.  This action by the good doctor quickly became a fad during the day and soon, every man was hammering their genitals to trees.  Of course, while engaging in this activity, it was quite common for men of that era to have an orgasm.  This is where we get the word sapling.  Remember that!

But getting back to the idea, this miraculous miracle cure, this amazing medical conception... Dr. Hugh Jass and his colleagues found that tape worms were the logical answer for those who were fat as hippos, dining on the bowels of baby dinosaurs and dragons.

Is that a cluster of crab louse I see on Mike's shoulder?  Oh no!  He may not be suitable for future dating.

Below you will see an advertisement for health rejuvenating cigarettes.  Cigarettes are packed with so many vitamins and required benefits for healthy lungs, that they will often be fought over in hospitals, fundraisers and convents.  As a bonus, this particular brand of cigarettes would give the customer a black eye as soon as they opened up a pack.  The company would generously ensure each pack came with a contraption that would propel or spring a jagged piece of lead directly at the consumer's eye for his or her pure pleasure and enjoyment.

My best bit as a ventriloquist is the part where I can smoke a cigarette and rape this freakish looking dummy in his tight wooden ass until he screams.  It really gets the crowd laughing every time.  I swear.  What's in it for me?  The satisfaction of providing quality entertainment for my audience and having a powerful, ball-draining orgasm.  Yes sir!  When I smoke, while fucking my dummy, I make sure I always finish with a bang and an emptied ballsack.

Lucky consumers were introduced to a a breakthrough medicinal tonic back in the days of spaceships and high tech laser surgery.  Of course, I'm talking about Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic.  Not only could it induce your body's natural nutrients, metabolism and secret turd maker to make oneself gain the mass of a wild boar, but it was absolutely tasteless and no one could resist buying large quantities of the tonic and slurping it down by the pint.

There were rumors, during it's heyday, that Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic might have mild side effects that would cause you to die immediately after drinking it.  Outraged by the company's false advertising of their product, a few protesters of that time claimed the Groves company of fraud, citing that their product would not cause their heads to blow up to ridiculously huge proportions and transform the rest of their bodies into that of a grotesque pig.

Angered, those protesters stripped off their clothing and set themselves ablaze with the fires of glory and strong objection until they were as just as crisp as bacon on a sunny Sunday morning.

This handsome young lad is wondering if someday a woman might be capable of opening a ketchup bottle.

Finally, the same kind and gentle folks who created vitamin packed wallpaper paste came up with this innovative contraption for the on-the-go rectal enthusiast.  It was just the device the world had been waiting for: The Tobacco Smoke Enema.

And speaking of things for the thoughtful consumer's anus, does anyone remember this invention that saved millions of lives?  Why, of course, I'm talking about The Rectorotor.  Imagine the wonderful sensation the health-minded consumer would get with this sharp, spikey thing driven deep inside their brown eye, only to pierce the colon and wrap the colon around the harsh metal triangular pointed head like overcooked spaghetti doused with tomato-y goodness!

Some consumers of the day gushed, "I get a soothing warm sensation when it goes completely though my internal organs!"

Safe enough for anyone between the ages of 15 to 95.

I'm gonna grind and churn my way into your heart and through your spinal column for deep relaxing relief.

And who can forget those children of yesteryear with over-sized, slightly deformed heads that got rid of pesky cockroaches and bedbugs by simply hitting a ball with a baseball bat.  Every time one of those little freakish fuckers hit the ball with a bat, a hundred cockroaches and bedbugs would perish in some part of the world.

There was a scientific explanation for this but I can't remember what it was.  Wait! Give me a minute and I'll extract it from my brilliant mind.  Ah yes... Women can open ketchup bottles.  So there you have it, my friends!

I'm gonna let this goddamn ball hit me right square in the fuckin' face because it makes me giggle until I piss myself.

Remember when squirrel lamps, made of actual squirrels, were all the rage back in the 40's and 50's?  Remember the fun you had trapping these lovable scoundrels from the rodent family in barb-wired covered cages?  You would first place a homeless person's dismembered hand in the cage for bait and before you could say, "I'm gonna nail my blood-engorged penis to a sapling next Tuesday," the squirrel would hurriedly scamper, cheerfully, into the cage and begin enjoying his meal of fresh, warm human meat.  Afterwards, the thoughtful consumer would thrust his sharpened sword into the cuddly squirrel's head, killing it and climaxing, simultaneously.

Indeed, those were the days!

Along with your instructions on how to properly end the life of the beloved squirrel, you would also receive bonus instructions, giving you step by step guidelines on how to lure hamsters to your asshole.

  

There's a certain satisfaction in going back in time and looking at all the wonderful advertisements and products we humans have produced.  It can truly give one a sense of wonder and appreciation of our specie's ingenuity.  Let us bow our heads now, in false prayer, giving thanks and asking Our Holy Sapling for guidance so that we may continue to find new ways to better our lives with ads and inventions such as the ones pictured and described above.  Amen.

Right On Cue

You're watching a movie at home, something supposedly bad happens to the supposedly likable female character. She starts to tear up. The sad music begins to play because the director wants to illicit a reaction from the movie's audience. The actress begins to cry. Right on cue, the sad music becomes louder, practically begging you to go for a Kleenex. After all, it is the intention of the director manipulate you into crying, feel sorry for the character, perhaps think of the situation happening to you for that personal response.

Or it could be a movie that's meant to be hilarious. Right on cue, there is music to set that mood, too.

You may or may not react but it's important to the producers of said movie that you do react. It is their intention that you purchase the movie later or do whatever they want you to do that usually involves you buying something in connection to the (product) movie.

You turn on the TV. There's Paris Hilton. "Dumb" rich blonde, always needing attention. She'll do the baby talk routine, show some skin for a sexual response from straight men and gay women, will act stupid, will promote her company's product, will do whatever it takes to get what she wants but never what she needs. Right on cue, she flashes a smile, craving attention from the media because, deep down, she has low self esteem. Cameras flash as she gets out of the limo. Heck, Paris might even pretend to forget to wear panties for some scandalous pictures that only add to the attention that is craved or for marketing purposes.

Is that Paris's pussy? Better zoom in for the possible genital warts. Either that or ignore that and her obvious act and read an interesting book, instead. Might I suggest Jon Stewart's Earth?

And it's nearly the same routine for a lot of the superficial folks in Hollywood. And it goes on and on. You got your Lohans, your Sheens, your desperate Reality TV " wannabe stars", your politicians and a puffed up, egotistical Donald Trump thrown in- just for good measure. Wants and insecurities. Putting on acts for a response or money. Blah fucking blah, blah, blah.

Or for another scenario: A friend or family member you know tells you "a deeply moving" story to get you to help them that involves you breaking your back or giving them money or causing you stress. Or something else you can probably think of. Put on your thinking cap!

How about the restaurant scene? The waitress at the restaurant is joking around with you, hoping you'll leave a big tip for her. She asks how you are, how your day is. The waitress smiles, laughs, maybe even flirts. Whatever it takes to make money. She plays as if she's been your friend for who knows how long in her act.

Personally, I'm just interested in getting some decent service while I'm eating the food, transparent food industry employee. I will give you a tip if the service is good. The tip amount will not be based on how exceptional your friendliness routine was. The end.

Commercials are painfully obvious with their agendas, as well. See this, they say and this will happen. Let us make you laugh or smile or nod in agreement. We want you to feel good about buying our product, because we care. If that doesn't work, maybe we'll scare you, subtly or not so subtly, into buying it.

And then there's the news programs. A reporter or anchorperson reads their script to get the intended response. Right on cue, his or her voice will waver, maybe slow their words for the effect on you. Or maybe they will infuse their words with faked excitement about an event or group or individual. And because you're the target, you are supposed to have pity, happiness or anger for this person or situation. What fun they're having! I'm wanking furiously in tribute to their supposed ingenuity. Either that or I'm shrugging my shoulders and moving on to something that's actually substantial and worthy of thinking about.

Those wacky fucks on TV will talk about a politician named Weiner sending a Twitter pic of his wiener. They will talk about the latest celebrity break up. They will say things that you've heard before too many other times. Different names. Same old shit. All because they want the response, ratings and/or money.

The images on the TV go by quickly. Our attention spans have dwindled to mere seconds.

Ugh! It's a blessing and a curse to see through people. This will sound cynical. This will sound paranoid. But it's the truth. Everyone has an agenda. I've said it before. I'm saying it again- because the superficiality of it all has bothered me almost from the very beginning of existence. I just want honesty, my fellow human wads of fuck. Tell me what you want. If it feels right for me, I'll give it to you, because I, as well, might have an agenda.

Ha! Ha! Ha! What silly shitting, eating, self-absorbed, needlessly manipulative, sometimes easily manipulated beings we are!

And here lies the truth, in the next paragraph. Watch your step! Please, don't trip over it or you may or may not acknowledge it.

When you hear or say the word "agenda" it conjures up something conspiratorial in one's mind but the agenda, itself, doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. Everyone has their own motives (agendas) or goals in life. This can be a positive objective like the good feeling you get from helping someone out. But people will deny that that wasn't their intention or it wasn't in the back of their minds before coming to somebody's aid. It doesn't matter, though. As long as they truly helped someone out.

I'm sure you can think of other agendas that can be positive. And some that are not, like some of those mentioned above.

I shall now step off of my soapbox, thus ending the lecture. Was I hoping to illicit a response to this topic? Nope. I just like stating the obvious (to me) and making observations. That's my thing. Manipulation isn't usually my game. I leave it to the experts. Besides, I find it boring and repulsive.

So right on cue, I say, "Have yourselves the dandiest of days!"

Fun Houses

When I was a little kid, I'd go to the town fair and they would always have either a really crazy looking fun house or a terrifying one. The first time I entered inside a fun house, I got trapped in this tumbler kind of thing that spun you up and over, round and round (like a clothes dryer) until you received a concussion or fractured elbow. Loads of fun. This was back in the late 60's and early 70's where they didn't give much thought to safety issues. Then there would be the claustrophobic mirror rooms to contend with. I'd walk into mirrors, almost in tears, trying to get the fuck out. I almost had a seizure from the panic attacks endured, trapped in those rooms. Luckily, I wasn't scarred for life having been exposed to that shit. Just a few years.

On the subject of fun houses, this seems to be the kind of house that would be fun to live in.

What's that nursery rhyme about the old woman that lived in an over sized shoe, had so many children, she didn't know quite what to do-- so she let the government foot the bill, keeping the rugrats fed, schooled and clothed while her vagina steadily grew to the size of a fun house?

Yeah, you know the one. I think she lived here, in the fun house pictured below. After awhile, the woman, a human vending machine, didn't bother going through labor or pushing down hard to get the bloody little bundle of joy out of her ever-widening gaping clam. She needn't try. Often times, she'd bend over to pick up a lit cigarette that fell out of her blubbery mouth or a dropped, halfway drunken can of beer and the lil' cutie would just kind of plop out onto the roach-infested floor.

The old woman (who just looked old because she was a meth addict) wouldn't know she had given birth until she stumbled back and tripped over the infant, causing it to cry out, cursing it's very existence into this world and the fact that it's mother was a drug addled whore with festering sores covering 80% of her body. Luckily, the kid rolled out of the way, onto a bed of dead rats, before it could be crushed by the stinking behemoth.

Later, the darling little baby couldn't tell whether it was sucking on a nipple, during breast feeding or a pus-filled skin ulcer that reminded one of a strange, nightmarish teat.

Otherwise, it was a nice house. Friendly neighborhood, too.

The next pic isn't so much of a house as it is a photo of a building. But it would make a nice house. Sure, it's been through a couple earthquakes, but hey, no house is perfect.

This next one is a bounce house. They call these things fun houses, too. People buy and rent these "civil lawsuits in the making" for their kids' parties. It's supposed to keep the kids occupied. They jump all around in these big inflatable enclosed rooms, cracking their heads and bones together, causing each other to scream and cry and have all kinds of related fun.

All I see, when I look at one of these things, is the end result. Someone always manages to get hurt and bloodied. Yes, indeed, nothing says "party time", more adequately, than one of these plastic, injury-causing monstrosities. Good luck with one of these fuckers at your next kiddiefest!

At least this next "fun house" has a sense of humor. Sure, the neighborhood kids, your offspring and their rabble of pals will sustain multiple broken bones, chipped teeth and contusions, but at least they'll be able to come tumbling out of a rabbit's asshole, eventually. Gotta look on the bright side!

This next shot is for an establishment that is a kind of "fun house" for grown ups. This fun house is a bar and grill in my general area. I've wanted to take a picture of this sign forever, but didn't do it until a month ago. "Hummers" is a really nice name for a bar, isn't it? Big red lips, right there on the sign for the place. Great piece of advertising, that is. A place you can go, get sloshed and meet that special someone.

Someone that's just perfect for giving you a hummer, hence the name.

After getting your hummer for the night, why not make a stop at this next fun house. At this fun house, you can eat all the doughnuts you desire, while the doughnuts busily soak up all the alcohol in your belly. Afterwards, if you haven't thrown up all the doughnuts in the toilet bowl in the back room, you may decide to make a return visit to Hummers and do it all over again.

And wouldn't that be fun?

Black Friday Stampedes

Ah, it's that time of year again. You can smell it in the air. Could that be Holiday Cheer?, you ask, naively. No, that isn't it Holiday Cheer, friends, neighbors and virtual pals o' mine. It the smell of huge corporations like Walmart and all the rest of the huge chains exercising their stranglehold on the public's addiction to material things with their horrific onslaught of Black Friday advertisements, urging everyone to cram into their store fronts and aisles, crushing one another during the annual American Consumer event.

There will be lines aplenty of the crazy, waiting outside the doors of these stores. Some idiots will be willing to stomp on a face or four to latch onto whatever they are getting a hard on (or if you're a woman- a wet on) for. Every year, it's on the news about someone getting crushed during the Black Friday event.

I really think it's a joke when some stores say they've taken the necessary steps to ensure public safety but they don't, really. A couple security guards at either store end isn't going to cut it. People will rush like rabid bulls. When I worked at Walmart for 3 years, all I could see that they were really making, instead of safety steps, were huge Christmas tree obstacles and sprawled out "consumer-unfriendly" displays of sale items to be put in the way of customers when they rushed. It's almost a guarantee that something stupid is going to happen.

Customers, overzealous and seething with madness to get a cheaper deal, will trample each other to get what they want. This is known, at least in America, as "Getting Into The Christmas Spirit".

Tomorrow morning, it is supposed to rain and snow around four in the morning. At that time, consumers will be lined up at the doors, colder than fuck and salivating at the chance to get their monkey paws on whatever shiny object will create euphoria for the moment. Could be the latest electronic whatchamicallit gadget. Could be a cheese grater/foot massager combination thingy. Who knows?

I think I'll get up in the morning just to get in the car, go to the stores and throw buckets of cold water on the lines and throngs of people. Couldn't be any worse than the usual "Christmas Spirit' exemplified.

Happy Holidays! Happy Spine Crushing! And don't forget to sodomize your fellow consumer with a broom handle for whatever it is you want at the store! Or bash in their skulls with a pretty snow globe with Santa in the center! Your choice. Spread the Holiday Cheer!

BP Oil Spill, Alternative Energy and Climate Change (Part 2)

As I've said before, on the post previous to this one, we should be focusing on alternative energy sources. Our lives depend on not being dependent on the dangerous energy sources, namely oil, coal and perhaps others, but, instead on finding renewable cleaner sources. Long after we're dead and gone, because we have polluted and poisoned ourselves to death with lethal toxins, harmful by-products and similar dangers, the world will keep going on. It may take awhile to reverse the damage we had done to it, but it will.

The human race, however, depends on clean air, water and food to survive. We can't withstand the garbage we continuously create and put out. The wealthy elite and other corporate entities feed off of our present dependencies on oil and other negative energy sources. You could say, and I'm doing just that right now, that they profit off of our misery. Their excuses do not compare to the certain outcome of our demise. They say they need to make a quick, big profit off of whatever energy is used in order to make it happen and for it to be a country and world wide actual reality.

I say, "Fuck that!", for a good reason. The corporations are doing it only for their profit and satisfaction of their personal and social disease- greed. To them, We The People are merely numbers. To the corporations and governments, you only are what your social security number says you are... which is a 9 digit identification number.

Look at their ads, buy their shit and obey what they say! Conform or be cast out as a social leper! Monkey see-Monkey fuckin' do!

As for their excuses not to create or disperse these free or nearly free energy sources I'm talking about, I say this truthful statement, "People in the past and present have or are creating free and nearly free ways to disperse energy for everyone. For those who will not produce these ways because it is not profitable for them, they should be ashamed, not to mention soaked in oil and burned alive."

I must also add that the U.S. should be leading the way to researching and producing cleaner, renewable energies instead of using the corporate/greed-oriented coal and oil sources we use now. I say that since we are one of the worst industrial offenders of polluting the Earth, if not the worst. Just another reason why the rest of the world's populace hates our fat, greedy, single-minded, uncaring asses!

I am first going to discuss the most familiar methods or sources of cleaner energy. Notice I did not say that they are necessarily cheap. Those nearly free or free sources, I mentioned earlier, I will explain later in this post.

And please... Feel free to look up these ways yourself on the internet, books or other information sources if you have any questions or think I'm lying. Why I would do that last one- I have no fucking clue, you doubting fuckers out there!

The following methods I will talk about first are the most obvious and most talked about:

Wind Power

Wind energy harnesses the power of the wind to propel the blades of wind turbines. The rotation of the blades is converted to electrical current by means of an electrical generator.

The pros of wind power-

Wind power produces no pollution. No chemical processes take place and no harmful by-products are left over.

Wind generation is a renewable source of energy. Meaning, we won't run out.

The cons-

It is intermittent. Consistent wind is needed for continuous power generation. When wind speed decreases, the turbine lingers and less electricity is generated.

Solar Power

Used commonly and presently, solar power is used for heating, cooking, the production of electricity and in the desalination of seawater- trapping the sun's rays into solar cells where this sunlight is converted into electricity. Solar power also uses sunlight that hits solar thermal panels to convert sunlight to heat water or air. There are other methods is using this sun source, as well.

The pros to solar energy-

As long as our sun exists, it's renewable energy will reach the Earth. Solar power generations release no water or air pollution because there is no chemical reaction from the combustion of fuels.

The cons-

If the sun's not shining, solar power doesn't produce energy. Nighttime and cloudy days limit the amount of energy created.

Geothermal Energy

Geothermal energy harnesses the heat energy that exists under the Earth. Hot rocks under the ground heat water to produce steam. The steam that shoots up from drilled holes in the region will power electric generators.

Pros to this-

Done right, geothermal energy produces no harmful by-products. Once a geothermal plant is built, it is mostly self-sufficient energy wise.

Cons-

Done wrong, geothermal energy can produce pollutants. Improper drilling into the ground can release dangerous minerals and gases. Also, geothermal sites are prone to running out of steam.

Hydroelectric Energy

Hydroelectric power comes from the energy of dammed water driving a water turbine and generator. It is also produced from water's kinetic energy and un-dammed sources like tidal power. Hydro power works by harnessing the gravitational descent of a river that is compressed from a long run to a single location with a dam or a flume.

Pros for this-

Water is accumulated above the dam and released to coincide with peaks in demand. Unlike other power stations, hydroelectric power stations can quickly increase to full capacity. Electricity can be generated continuously. It produces no pollution since there isn't a chemical reaction to produce power.

Cons-

Dams can be expensive to build. There needs to be enough water in the area to produce energy.

All of these well known alternative forms usable, cleaner energy. But there have been, as I've said before, people in the past and present, who developed other alternative, even cheap or free forms, of energy. One such remarkable man was a genius, mechanical engineer and inventor by the name of Nikola Tesla.

Nikola Tesla (July 1856- January 1943) was one of the most important contributors to the birth of commercial electricity. He is best known for his many revolutionary developments in electromagnetism in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Tesla's patents and theoretical work formed the basis of modern alternating current (AC) electric power systems, including the polyphase system of electrical distribution and the AC motor, which helped usher in the Second Industrial Revolution.

Below you'll find a video that gives some insight to Tesla, his accomplishments and struggles during his life. It acts as a good introduction to this man who seemed to be light years in his thinking and ideas compared to scientist during his time and, in many respects, during our era.

Tesla was fascinated by radiant energy and its free energy possibilities. Tesla called the Crooke's radiometer a device which has vanes that spin in a vacuum when exposed to radiant energy "a beautiful invention." He believed it would become possible to harness energy directly by "connecting to the very wheel-work of nature." Tesla announced a plan for a "cosmic-ray motor". Whenever Nikola Tesla was asked if it was more powerful than the crooke's radiometer, he answered, "thousands of times more powerful."

Tesla's free-energy concept was patented in 1901 as an "Apparatus for the Utilization of Radiant Energy. The patent refers to "the sun, as well as other sources of radiant energy, like cosmic rays, "that the device works at night is explained in terms of the night-time availability of cosmic rays. Tesla also refers to the ground as "a vast reservoir of negative electricity."

Tesla's first radiant energy receiver stored static electricity obtained from the air and converted it to a usable form. Tesla's invention is a simpler version of Dr. T.H. Moray's device. Which is pictured below.

In short, Tesla was able to retain and distribute free energy with his research and invention and showed the people of his era how it could be done. But, even back then, the development and distribution of anything free was a big no-no to the industry giants in Tesla's era. After all, you can't profit from something that is free. And it's more than a shame to know that we could have free energy today, if it weren't for the greed of corporations putting people under their mercy, forcing us to use outdated and dangerous sources of energy like coal and oil in order to get around, heat our homes and everything in between during our lifetimes.

After he died, the FBI confiscated enough of Tesla's documents to fill a railroad boxcar. They took his research and documents from 4 different storage locations. Only 150,000 documents were released to Tesla's Yugoslavian relatives, now held by the Tesla Institute in Belgrade. The remainder of Tesla's papers are still classified. The government distributed false rumors that "Tesla never kept notes", which was a lie.

Tesla was a household word, 60 or 70 years ago. The question must be asked: Why were almost all of his achievements suddenly stricken from the records of history? Specifically, his some of his most important achievements and research on Radiant Energy? For whom does this serve? Certainly not the public.

There are many other scientists and/or inventors currently working on free energy or nearly free energy devices and research. Like Muammer Yildiz from Turkey. He has created a magnetic motor which used magnets that could became monopolar. This is a good thing. And scientists from the Brookhaven National Laboratory on Long Island have found an unexpected source of clean energy by using their Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider.

For more information on these scientists, inventors, amazing discoveries and inventions- click this link.

The Green Optimist/Free Energy

Once there, you will be amazed at the many things discovered and created by inventors and scientists alike. It may give you hope for a brighter, cleaner future of tomorrow. Or it could dishearten you to know that these ideas and inventions could be created today if it weren't for the greed of corporations like BP and others of its ilk that demand that a stranglehold be placed upon us in the form of fossil fuel dependency and other toxic forms of energy.

How do you feel about all of this?

They're Selling This?

Candles

I like candles, as long as they don't burn my place down. Have you ever forgotten to blow out your candle before leaving the house or going to bed? Then you wake up or return home to find your candle jar is holding a lake's worth of wax and there is just a teensy, lil' flame weakly flickering on your drowning wick. Don't you feel like a complete dumbass?

No?

Well, you should, damn it.

My cat drank all the liquified wax out of my candle jar a couple months ago and when he pissed and crapped, it smelled like Dreamy Vanilla Cream.

Gosh, that litter pan smelled wonderful, for a change.

Well, enough yakin'. Watch this video clip and learn something important, damn it!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.