Behold My Power of Observation

Hello.  My name is Victor, the owner of the Human, Kelly.  The human slave (I lovingly refer to him)  gives me food, drink and shelter while I carefully observe his race who call themselves Human Beings.  I, on the other hand, have a more apt name for them.  They will always be DumbAsses to me- or any other living being, besides Humans, on this planet.

Hey Humans, while you're not polluting the planet, exploiting it's resources, killing each other and treating those who don't have much of this sad excuse of an outdated medium (you call money) for the exchange of goods with great disdain, as if they have less value than a pile of roach crap, could you do something useful- like helping each other out?  Ah, fuck it... just keep texting each other about the same old mundane crap.

You think the wilderness is full of terrors, viciousness and challenges for survival for us low level animals....  Try living within the Human Race.  They actually try to make it harder on themselves.  Increasingly so with every day and year that passes.  Here's a whip, Fucko!  Go flay yourself like you know you want it- real bad.  Do the whipping of your backs and minds with your head in the "sands of denial" or in the "sands of acknowledging what's wrong but you're going along with it because it's easier that way".  Yeah, that's the way you guys do it.

Then injure or destroy someone else.  Put on another good show.  Call it a war.  Kill people for gods and/or greed!

Your big old brains, that you're so impressed by, have conjured many new and exciting ways to hurt one another with each year.  Someone who is innocent- or not- can get a taste.  And by the way, it isn't any fun unless you're engaging in one or two bloody wars at the same time.  So I've seen from most of you.  And you think I am just lying around, sleeping, licking my crotch and chasing bugs.  Ah-Ha!  Can you not see the power in these glowing yellow eyes?

I've got some very predicatable news for you, Humans.  The rest of us seemingly less worthy animals- which you also treat with your varied obvious degrees of indifference, with the exception of a minority of you, can see you've been acting like imbeciles for so long, that now you flaunt it, flamboyantly, and accept stupidity from one another like it's the greatest sunset that's ever appeared out of God's Asshole.  (Newt, Romney, Santorum, Bachmann)  Those are just a few politician's names.  I haven't mentioned any names from any other categories, like from the wealthy elite,the indifferent majority, the spectacularly cruel... and so on.  Most of you Dumbasses, I find, in the end, are interchangeable.

I was reading what this man, Ralph Nader, said about your typical  Human greed for money among politicians, and when you get down to it, everyone else.  Literally or not, you Humans stick knives in each other's backs and allow pricks to rule over you while they tell the poor and the general public, in general, to go fuck themselves as you allow it to happen.  A good many have protested such behavior of the wealthy elite among you.  I have nothing but respect for them.

When you're done destroying what you can of the planet before you cause almost complete extinction of your own kind, I will cheerfully dine on your thigh as you quiver and blubber and begin to decay.  I will do it as you go through your death rattle- or even during your last words before taking your last breath.

My advice for you, as far as last words go, would go something like this-  "I did try to, at least, do a little something about all the corruption and did do one selfless act for another Human in my lifetime- or maybe not."  But hey,  if you did do something positive, Human, about the Human Condition or help someone or animal out, then BIG KUDOS goes to you.  I'd give you a hug but I'm too busy allowing Kelly to pet my coat of fur and then go into the kitchen for a treat made of ingredients that may be healthier than the slop they serve at these places DumbAsses, er, I mean, Humans, call fast food restaurants.  Maybe it's the equivalent.  Eh.  Who knows?  Where's my catnip?  This ranting is giving me a downer.  I need a buzz.

Speaking of slop, do you know that most Humans are ruled by their egos (slop) than their brains.  Imagine the mistakes that would be made by a race like that.  Yeah.  I mean...  How concerned are they with anything but themselves?  Catnip for thought.  

Like I said, there were/are a few of you who get it.  Here's one of them now.  His name was George Carlin. He wasn't just a extraordinarily funny Human.  He was an observer, who explained in detail, what was wrong with his race.  In the last six or seven years of life, especially, he painstakingly wrote books, put on comedy concerts and gave out words of wisdom that some got and some that didn't.  Pity to those who don't get it.  Pity to those that are close minded.

Here's your typical Human doing something more constructive than destroying his own home planet.  He's making a snot bubble.  Sure, he's no Rembrandt or Da Vinci but he may just be expressing a form of art  that no Humans have ever embraced before.  Humans are not exactly the open minded type when it comes to accepting change or differences in each other.  If you look closely, you can see that this guy has snot bubbles within snot bubbles.  I wish my hairballs looked that good.

I sincerely hope I'm inspiring you with the magic I'm creating out of my left nostril.

Here's another Human that gets it.  Bernie Sanders. Don't ya love it, when every so often, some Human speaks the truth?  Sometimes they have to have something dramatic happen to them during their lives or a sudden epiphany that helps them not be afraid to be open, honest and speak the truth without fear of repercussions from DumbAsses, er, I mean, Humans, of course.

Oh well.  Meanwhile, while you Humans go about your day, ignoring everything around you and perhaps creating chaos or being part of the problem, I'm just going to lay here and wait for the smoke to clear.  But, if I'm about to be wiped out, suddenly or I end up suffering an unpleasant existence because of your Human's Love for Self-Destructive Insanity, I can at least say I didn't have anything at all to do with it.

Here we see Humans sticking their faces up fake Humans' asses instead of up in their own, attempting to put the entire head in.  That way they can see no evil, hear no evil and be completely and blissfully ignorant of the world around them

It's Humans who are always at fault, in the end.  How many Human civilizations have passed, really, on this planet?  I wonder how many civilizations have passed due to their ignorance, cruelty and indifference.  I gotta say one thing for them...   Humans have that brilliant ability and natural ease where they can pass the responsibility of their negative actions on to whoever they deem fit or not accept it at all.  Yeah... Gee... I wonder what the end result of that attitude would be in the end?  Ah, well....

Have a great day, Humans!  Now pass me the catnip before your civilization's time is up!

Too Disgusting For Me

You know you've lived too long in this world when you've been around long enough to see a clothes company selling push up bras for little girls. That's right. In case you haven't heard, Abercrombie & Fitch are now selling push-up bikini bras for 7 to 14 year old little girls. The bra's padded cups and halter tops promise to lift and emphasize what little boobs the girls have before puberty.

Why in the fuck is this a reality?

I mean I don't get it. This goes way beyond sick to me. And I'm a pretty sick puppy.

The Abercrombie & Fitch company are the same stinking douchebags that sold (don't know if they're still selling them) a line of thongs for 7 year olds, in 2002, that were decorated with the words "Eye Candy" and "Wink Wink". These fuckers should absolutely be killed. Any parent buying any of this crap for their little daughters should be taken out to the woodshed and given forty whacks with a machete.

Push-up bras are sex tools. That's it. Ridiculously deceptive sex tools, at that. What kind of people would endorse this crap for kids? Bad enough that adults do this and the Botox injections and the other superficial bullshit that people do because they believe appearances to be so fucking important. Why would you push your kid into trying to be more adult-like? Do you want some pervert to rape them? If that isn't the parent who would buy something like this and Abercrombie & Fitch's goal, I don't know what it could be. After it's all said and done, that will be the likely result sooner or later. Who knows? It's probably already happened.

I feel the same way about these little girl beauty pageants you see on TV these days. The parents dress their little girls up, sometimes barely over the age of four, maybe not even that old, in tiny revealing dresses, tu-tu's, gaudy jewelry and so much make up that only a whore would wear. Then they have them compete with other little girls in revealing outfits and have them dance seductively and act like a slut on stage before a cheering audience. The parents that enter their little girls into these contests are more depraved than I could ever imagine. It boggles the fucking mind. I might write about some sick shit at times, but I would never involve children and I sure as hell wouldn't make up these pervert-watching TV shows for all the child molesters out there, drooling and ogling.

The kids are the real victims here. They don't know any better. They think they're just playing "dress up" but on a grander scale. But the parents and adults, in general, should know better. They must be doing it for profit or fame or to somehow live their warped dreams through their kids. Whatever the excuse, it's not good enough and completely wrong in so many ways.

Hey, if you wanna watch something that goes so far beyond good taste and good sense, watch Toddlers and Tiaras. It's one of those little girl beauty pageants shows and it's on a channel that I thought would have the decency enough NOT to have something like this on their schedule- The Learning Channel. This irresponsible show was so creepy and frightening to witness, I had to turn it off after just a few minutes. It made me sick. And it takes quite a bit to make me sick. On second thought, don't watch this shit! I wouldn't subject anybody to watching anything this distasteful. Go watch a porn, featuring a bunch of burnt out crack whores and sexually diseased freaks, instead. It would be a helluva lot more wholesome and less degrading, for sure.

Well, that's all I can say about this kind of thing. I think I'm going to go out for a walk pretty soon and try to clear my mind. Shit like this really agitates me.

I See That You Have a Horn Growing Out Of Your Head

I've often wondered how it would be to visit any bloggers who I've had the pleasure of interacting with for awhile now. Though it sounds like a quaint idea, this could be a dangerous action to take with serious consequences in the end. I mean- What if you surprise me by throwing me a party? Or a parade, in my honor, even? Or drug me and take advantage of me in my slumber? Gosh, my humble and modest self wouldn't know what to do except blush and act all embarrassed and stuff.

And let me tell you, when I start feeling a little disconcerted, I tend to break a mighty wind and juggle my brightly colored balls. Yes, I carry them with me in my Suitcase O' Fun. I just so happened to buy these balls off of a circus accessories type website one day. What? You didn't think I was talking about my own cojones, did ya? Nah! The only time my jolly, friendly trouser bells are brightly colored is when I paint rainbows on them. Makes me feel all peppy, festive and stuff.

So... when should I come over?

And then there's always the chance I'd come over and I would get the surprise of my life by finding out that you have a horn growing out of your head. Talk about your awkward moments. I wouldn't be able to look away, either. I mean- you might have a unicorn horn growing out of your forehead or have a kooky looking horn like this woman down below.

You could be eating a baby's leg, too, while I'm standing there, attempting to make conversation. Then what am I supposed to do? Tear the other one off and gnaw on it so you don't feel awkward eating alone, in front of me?

You could be a religious psychopath, too, pushing your beliefs in the powers of the Almighty Bullwinkle on me.

Or you could pretend to be normal for awhile and we're sitting there, all cozy and shit, in your living room and you suddenly jump out of your refried bean bag chair and shout, "Holy Toledo! I forgot to introduce my cross eyed, drooling retarded cousin, Alfonso, to ya." At that moment, Alfonso peeks around the corner at me, widens his retarded eye at me and stumbles into the living room with a bloody meat cleaver in one hand and his festering pecker in the other.

Running out the door without so much as a goodbye may be an act of rudeness to you, the generous host, but I would likely be inclined to do it. After all, I don't wish to take the chance that Alfonso gets too close for comfort and allows his pus-oozing pecker to drip into the cup of freshly brewed coffee you made just for me.

I'm all about good manners, you know, but you have to draw the line somewhere in the landscape of picturesque penile disorders.

Seriously, who's to assume exactly what to expect when visiting a fellow blogger. Still, since I'm curious about such things and I wonder if they're just as funny, interesting (in a good way) or intelligent as they portray themselves in their blogs, I would take my chances and do it. If there should be some awkward silence between us, at any point during my stay, I could handle it. There's no need to have our mouths yapping about, in a constant state of vocalization. In fact, that kind of thing can be just as bothersome to me as the quiet times.

And if you're somewhat crazy, in a non lethal way, I would likely get along better with you. I find people who are slightly touched in the head to be interesting and humorous. People who are too humdrum or try too hard to act "normal" cause me to become frustrated around them. Unlike the slightly unusual folks, they don't interest me and, in fact, kinda annoy the shit of me because they're boring me. I'm never sure if it's on purpose or just because they severely lack in the personality department.

I've actually left people standing at parties or other public places while they're still jabbering away about the most mundane of topics. You can look at this gesture as being rude but I look at it as being rude that they're taking up my time by talking about something that any ol' flesh and blood, conformist droid could and will talk about. Those that engage in that type of conversation should consider themselves just peachy-keen lucky if I come up with an oh-so-incredible excuse for leaving you with your jaw dropped in mid-sentence, too. I might offer an "I have to leave now to take a shit" or something smooth like "Your face gives me a stomach ulcer from hell."

Signs that I may be bored with those things you call words that won't stop popping, incessantly, out of your mouth would be:

Fidgeting from foot to foot

Falling asleep

Watching the clouds in the sky

Choking the living shit out of you

But, chances are, that since we are either interacting with each other between our blogs, exchanging fascinating messages on Facebook, twittering our twitters or trading emails, I will most likely enjoy your company in person and you'll be able to keep my utmost attention. Gosh, good news for you, huh? I can feel the radiant, heart-warming glow of your excitement from all the way over here. Oh, that's just a belch you just burped from all that rancid unicorn meat you've been eating. Ah, well. Sometimes we get mixed signals from one another.

So, like I said before... when should I come over? Heh heh.

The Chaos in Japan, Priorities And a Beautiful Song

This is another one of my more non-humorous, thoughtful posts that tends to send a few bloggers and readers who are oddly addicted to only one type of writing either scurrying away or incapable of relating. Of the latter type, they will sometimes leave a comment that seems out of place with the subject(s) being written about.

Well, hell, now that I've alienated some of my readers...

Lately, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've been a little absent from the blogging world. I try to comment here and there on different blogs when I've had the time but I've been busy and preoccupied with thoughts on the devastation in Japan and meaning of life type stuff. I've been on the move, when I'm not watching the news, with traveling, celebrating birthdays and doing other enjoyable activities. Life is going pretty well for me now, relatively, despite a few problems and worries.

One of many things that bother me with the ongoing tragic events in Japan is that there is still a lot of media coverage on the exploits of celebrities. I don't know how it is in other countries but here in the U.S., anything about Charlie Sheen either gets equal amount of time on TV or trumps the amount of time that the news of overwhelming chaos and life loss in Japan gets. You may disagree with this. You may even provide an excuse for this, like I can already hear or see now... Well, we don't want to bombard the public with constant news of Japan's destruction and sorrows and we need to balance it out with the latest goofy thing that Charlie Sheen or some other celebrity has uttered or done so we don't bum or burn people out on what's going on in a country other than our own.

To those that say this, I say FUCK YOU with all of my cold, blackened heart.

I'll go even further to say it's too bad if you're bored with the news of a suffering people or you just want to look away because you can't handle it. I honestly cannot stand it, almost more than anything else, when idiots purposely ignore or deny the truths of life, others and themselves. Everyone needs to face the truth, no matter how much it hurts or how much it is unwanted.

Watching the morning news on CNN the other day, there was an anchorman and woman talking the entire time about how the radiation leak may or may not affect the U.S. Not much was said about how it could affect the Japanese citizenry. When they weren't talking about our safety, they were talking about the efforts to find any Americans in Japan and making sure they got back home, here, in the U.S., safely. Outrageous. I don't understand that. But, in a way, I do. People have their priorities messed up.

Celebrity garbage over real news. Our own interests over the crisis or interests of others. I could go on and on but why bother, right? And that's part of the bigger picture, too. We can't be bothered. The pain, loss and fear that someone else is facing seems distant and small to us because we're so hopelessly self-obsessed. I believe it's some type of mental illness, plain stupidity or societal brainwashing that is so apparent to those who are aware.

I can already see someone telling me in the comment box that the reason there is news on this and not that is because it's all based on what is more profitable to tell or show and... you know, I'm just so sick and tired of hearing that, too. I know the reasons why people do the shit they do. I just want them to stop.

And yes, I know that won't happen either.

Well, I'm done ranting. If you've gotten this far down, I congratulate you, I suppose. The truth is hard to swallow for some. That's why I will, at times, sugar coat it a bit with feeble attempts at humor. Some will get it or accept it or deny it or play devil's advocate just for the fuck of it. So, there you go.

The video clip below is of a band that I feel is incredibly underated. Their name is Filter and the song is called Fades Like a Photograph. Even though the video portrays the loss of a relationship, the song, itself, could be interpreted in different ways. Like the loss of a loved one, such as what is being experienced in thousands of cases in Japan now. To me, there is no worse pain than the loss of a loved one that you had a deep personal connection with, no matter how it comes about. To those who have had this experience, you can relate.

My next post will center around a couple funny incidents I had over the past weekend. Stay tuned for that. I just had to get what I said, in this post, out of my system. I make zero apologies for that. Take care, everyone and always remember what's truly important.

Red Cross: Donors can contribute to the relief efforts in JAPAN by calling 800-733-27677 or visiting http://www.redcross.org. Each text message is a $10 donation to the Red Cross, which will be added to the donors’ next cellphone bill.