The Chapwilly TubeSteak Festival

If you plan on going to a festival this year, might I suggest taking a trip to West Virginia this summer for Chapwilly's TubeSteak Festival.

Once there, you may ride the rides, taste the palate pleasing fare and enjoy watching the local talent perform amazing stunts of abject perversity during the enchanting stage shows.

And don't forget to stop by Magic Eddie's BBQ to sample some of his delicious, specially made, grilled MeatKabobs. If you don't care for ketchup or mustard, don't be afraid to ask Eddie for a dallop of his delightful magic mystery sauce. If you feel you need assistance squeezing it on, Magic Eddie will be more than happy to do it for you.

So bring the whole family for a day of wholesome, fun-filled entertainment. I promise it will be a day you'll remember for the rest of your life. Excitement awaits you!

Admission: $49.99 for Adults after 6 p.m.
$10.99 for inbred children between 8 and 8:20 a.m.
Senior Citizens are welcome to hop on Mr. Humpty's Hay Ride
The Hunt For Squirrel Berries will take place when it gets dark

Name Changes And Censorship

A judge in New Mexico ruled against a Los Alamos man who wanted to change his name to a phrase. Judge Nash said the name change was "obscene, offensive and would not comport with common decency."


Presently, this guy's name is Variable.

What?


That's right. Variable. Yeah, he's done the name changing thing before. This time around, though, I don't think it's going to happen with any judge he goes in front of. This time he wants to change his name to Fuck Censorship! With the exclamation point, I guess, to add emphasis. Amusing.


Before that, the guy's name was Snaphappy Fishsuit Mokiligon. No kidding. Try saying that 3 times fast. You get the feeling this freak is making a cry for help, or at least, for attention.


Personally, I wouldn't deny him the name change. Not because I feel that vulgarity for the sake of vulgarity is something that should be celebrated. Not at all. Besides, he is the one who has to live with it. Anyway, I like the proposed name because it sends a message that censorship is wrong. Unfortunately, you sometimes have to hit the public over the head with a verbal blunt instrument to get the attention a serious topic badly needs. Are there other ways to do this in a more "sensitive" manner. Sure, there is. I don't debate that.


Censorship is serious because it tears away at our supposed freedom of speech. It dictates what you are allowed to see and allowed to learn. For example, the government restricts what you know about the interrogations inflicted on military prisoners. Presently, there are books still being banned around the world. Corporations, that own the networks, tell the networks what can be shown and said everyday. Many of today's scientists are being censored when they speak out against pollution, global warming and other dangerous threats to our world. These are a just a few examples.

Censorship suppresses ideas and encourages ignorance.

Under the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, each of us has the right to read, view, listen to, and disseminate constitutionally protected ideas, even if a censor finds those ideas offensive.

But sadly, this isn't the reality of today's world. Sadder still, is the unwillingness of so many of us to fight for the First Amendment.

What The Hell?

It has been a shitty morning. I hope the afternoon is better.

I couldn't sleep last night so I spent much of it dickering around on this computer. Because of this and the other thing, I maybe wound up with two hours sleep. The other thing is some asshole calling me repeatedly just to listen to the sound of my voice. We have caller ID on our phone. I would look at the screen to see what idiot was torturing me. Only one word came up, every time.

shrink.

That was it: shrink.

What the hell? Maybe God or someone else was trying to tell me I needed a shrink. I don't know. Lord knows I think I need one sometimes.... especially nowadays. Anyway this idiot was calling me just as I would get into the REM phase of sleep. I would wake up every time, speak in tongues, knock the cat off the bed and reach for the freaking phone while morning drool dripped off my chin. Fun ahoy!

And I can't turn the ringer off. I have to keep the little bastard on in case my father (who is in poor health) might call me.

This was a bad situation, particularly because I knew I would have to do a lot of thinking today. I had to talk to someone in the medical profession about some bill they think we owe money on. I had to talk to my lawyer about my disability claim. I had to talk to the pharmacist for refills on my meds. All of this takes a working brain. And my brain was mush. All because of....

shrink.
shrink.
shrink.

The good news is, is that I was able to make the calls without sounding like a tongue-speaking, snake-handling, religious freak.

And I only slobbered a little bit between calls.

shrink.