Hey Bitches! This is Mrs. Pickle. I am back down on my knees while typing another guest post for Kelly.
So last night my husband and I were bored and surfing the web. We typed in the words “Sex toys gone wrong” and we found some great things. My favorite one though was an article we found. Allow me to explain.
Apparently some dumb Bitch who is 27 in Maryland was feeling the need to be sexually stimulated. I get it, really I do! Here is where she is different from the rest of us though. Her idea of being sexually stimulated involves a Sawzall. I know right! I was excited also when I found out!
For those of you who do not know what a Sawzall is, I included a picture. Now keep in mind this blade once plugged in goes back and forth like a jackhammer. So she probably thought she was in for a real treat.
So apparently this woman thought it would be a good idea to slide a sex toy over the Sawzall and fuck it. Because really, who doesn’t want to fuck a saw? Naturally, her masturbation session did not go as she would have hoped. And yes I would have paid money to be there and be a witness.
I would have told the doctors, “Well, she was horny! Give the woman a break okay?” The doctor would have been like “How long was she masturbating with the saw before it lacerated her vagina region?” I would have said, “ Well she was doing just fine and getting all wet, but once it got to about 7 seconds into it she started to notice this sharp pain and that is when she started screaming “ UNPLUG IT! UN PLUG THE FUCKING SAW!” I am sorry doctor, I did not unplug it as fast as she would have liked, because I had to go and grab my camera.”
The article then goes on to say that she was rushed to the hospital. The sex toy was still attached. They say she was released and is at home now recovering from being fucked by a saw her injuries.
Personally, I would love to meet this woman. If I had the choice to either see Cher naked (Because I am still not convinced she has a vagina) or to interview Mrs. Sawzall, I would have to go with the 2nd. Because I have so many questions and I want answers damnit!
Like I said, I am Mrs. Pickle. If you like what you see come check out my blog. Picklesinmyass.blogspot.com.
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15 comments:
When I read this Darwin's theory of evolution came to mind....the dumb ones will always find a way to kill themsevles off. On the plus side at least she didn't use a chainsaw
*LOL!* I read a story once about a guy who inadvertently electrocuted himself using 2 belt sanders. I can't imagine being the one to find him...like his family was.
It was a brilliant idea at the time.
Does that mean I should abandon my quest to patent the orbital sander taint tickler?
They sell toys LIKE this, but it takes a special person to use an actual saw to do it.
Darwin 1, this chick 0.
You are absolutely right. Cher has a weiner.
omg, that is GENIUS!!!
Why have I never thought of that before??
Thanks for the great tip!!
Still she probably got some time with the sex toy still on. I'd love to ask - was it worth it?
Of course it was worth it Geoffrey!
Ooooooo the mind boggles lol. I suppose it was a good idea while it lasted lol. I'll be back to this Blog most defo lol.
Gosh, I never thought about using an electric saw to masturbate with. Mrs. Pickle- What a terrific idea. But first, I think I'll pour acid right on my balls first- before I use that saw. The sulfuric acid can act as my lube. What fun!
What another hilarious true tale you given with wonderful descriptions that warm the heart and tickle my funny boner. It's amazing what some humans will do to get off.
Sometimes they get off and get dead, too, in return. Like actor David Carridine, from the movie, Kill Bill. Thanks again for another humorous post regarding dumb asses and they extremes they go to pleasure themselves. Great post!
AND HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND, EVERYONE! (no one should use saws, of any type, as a sexual aid or plaything the next two days)
@ Elliot,
Um... next time you do that, can you please take pictures?
The last few comments remind me of an old joke... You hear the one about the guy who got fired when he was caught with his dick in the pickle slicer?
... Yeah, apparently her father owns the factory.
Yikes!
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